(Cain)

My body is weakened, but nothing like the time at The Pitt. I'm slower, and feeling sick. As if I'm going through withdrawals. My heart pumps blood faster and faster, with each mile I walk, and it's not from exhaustion. I know my body, and I know what's happening.

I awoke to echoes of Dizzy's voice, from somewhere far off in the desert. Somewhere, she was calling me. She needed me. And I can't find any trace of her. The only place I can look, is the place where Gob told me they took Dezbe. I've been walking all night, and watched the sunrise from the corners of my eyes. I'm short of breath, and feeling flu-like symptoms. I don't know how much longer I can go, without Dizzy near me. Without being next to her. Without having her to talk to. But, in the very near distance, there is a shack. Something inside tells me it's Littlehorn and Associates. Something tells me, Dizzy is there.

I practically jog the rest of the way. I want to run, but my body is weak and starved. Not in the hunger sense, but for the chemicals I need to survive. The microscopic substances that allow my heart to work and beat. It's hotter out today than most days, and I feel angry that Dizzy up and left. Why in the hell would she do such a thing? Hasn't everything we've seen been enough? Why make this situation worse? She's unappeasable, and eventually going to get the both of us killed.

Nearing the shack, I see the front door begin to open. Slowing my pace, I make sure I watch everything carefully, and remove the gun from my back. With all the strength in my body, I hold back from showing I'm weakened. It has to be Dizzy, it just has to be. She's here, in there, possibly coming out. I can feel it in my bones, in the very cells that crave her presence.

"Dezbe?"

I say in shock, as she closes the door behind her. Lowering my weapon, I rush towards her, the woman I've called 'mother' for so very long. She looks tired, dirty, and there's mischief and anger residing in her eyes. What happened? Where's Dizzy? Dezbe looks up at me, and lights a cigarette, as if everything in the world is dandy. What the hell?

"I was wondering where you went to."

She says, blowing smoke out of her mouth. I say nothing, but stare at her in confusion. Dezbe shrugs, and looks behind her.

"Your father is going to be pissed, you know that? Really, really, pissed."

Dezbe shudders as if she's just thought of something creepy and gross.

"He isn't my father. Where is Dizzy?"

Dezbe seems to ignore my comment, and shakes her head.

"She's inside. She's safe, for now. There isn't much time, though. Where's your father? You look tired, are you alright, Cain?"

"…How can you be so calm? Your daughter is in trouble! Wait, you were in trouble! What the hell happened? Do you even know what happened to Charon?"

Dezbe cocks an eyebrow at me.

"Calm down, one thing at a time. Trust in the fact, your sister is safe for the time being. I can't do anything with no weapon, and a weakened son. We're going to need your father, and I need to know where he is."

How? How can she be so calm about this? She stares at me and smokes her cigarette as if she's queen of the goddamned Capital Wasteland with nothing in the world to worry about. Anger rips through me, but I know I have to keep my temper, and preserve my strength. She's right. Dizzy is alive, and for the time being, safe. If she was dead…I'd know it. I don't know how, but I would. Shaking my head, I put my gun on my back, and let out a sigh.
"I'm not your son."

I say to Dezbe, and when I look up at her, she doesn't seem too shocked. Her eyes urge me to go on, as she wipes her face with the back of her hand. It only smears the soot around.

"I am not your son, and Charon is not my father. In all rights, you are, but, as far as I'm concerned…you can't be anymore."

"Stop right there."

I listen to Dezbe, because even though I no longer call her 'mom', I still respect her as one, and an angry mother is terrifying. Taking her finger, she draws a line in the dirt at my feet.

"This is the line you never should have crossed. You never should have, yet you did. And it was exactly what you needed to do."

Growing up, she loved to use metaphors on me. It doesn't mean I understood them, or even do now, but I know there's a meaning.

"Charon and I can only rescue Dizzy. It's you, who decides if she lives, or if she dies. Do you understand me?"

"…I think so? Charon's dying in Rivet City. You need to get there, and fast."

"Dying? From what?"

"He was hit hard in the head. He inhaled a lot of smoke. He…wasn't doing so well…"

To my shock, Dezbe laughs. She laughs and throws her cigarette to the ground as if it's the funniest thing she's ever heard.

"What's so funny? This is serious!"

Dezbe holds up her hand, and stops laughing. A cold wind blows, and the sky above although sunny, feels threatening.

"Listen, Charon and I have been in worse situations. This is child's play. A bump on the head, will not kill him, when his woman and child are not present. You don't give him enough credit."
"You didn't see him!"

"I've seen him wake up from third degree burns, and survive the most severe of bullet wounds. There is next to nothing, that can bring that man down. Now, are you going to listen to me, or not?"

I stare at Dezbe, the woman whom I once considered my mother. Her face is set in stone, stern, secure. There's not an ounce of worry or fright in her eyes. To her, this may not be such a big deal, but, to me, it's everything. It's my life. Dizzy's life. The life of our small, broken little family as it is.

"…Are you even worried about Dizzy?"

I ask her, feeling defeated and hopeless. Inside that shack, is Dizzy, and I'm sure of it. But, I just can't go barging in. I know that, Dezbe knows that, but I just can't grasp it. When I ask Dezbe, if she's worried, her eyes flash over. It's only for a quick second, but they do. She looks up at me, and backs away. Lighting another cigarette, she stares at the sky as if time itself has frozen. When, in fact, time isn't on our side.

"I'm…terrified for her. I'm worried, they'll hurt her before…Charon and I, can return. You alone, with no experience, won't be able to defuse this situation. I know this, and I accept this. I'm scared, that while I'm gone, you'll act rashly, and try to rescue her. When…you can't. You can't barge in there. This has to be calculated. Out here, Cain, you have to learn, and learn fast, that you can't show your enemies any fear or concern. They'll end up just using it against you in the end."

Dezbe looks back at me, and sighs as smoke drifts from her mouth.

"Promise me, you'll just wait. I know, you'll grow weak, but I'll be back. With Charon. Regardless if you see us as your parents anymore, to me, you're my son. And I'll worry about you just the same."

"Megaton was burned. I don't know what's left of it."

Saying that right now probably isn't the best thing, but I can't think of anything else to say. There's nothing left to say.

"Megaton can be rebuilt. Wait here. Stay undetected. They don't know about you."

It's all Dezbe says before she takes off running. Running towards Charon, and Rivet City. Towards Gob and Zack, and the doctors who wait for her. Everything right now, is again, on her shoulders. Her eyes looked tired, as if she didn't want to return to this. As if this aspect of adventuring wore her out.

After a lifetime of saving everyone, she must be tired of it. She must grow wry, and exhausted, with always having someone after her. The Raider base was fun, since they're simply Raiders. But, this, is different. This time, her family is broken apart, and in shambles. I hope she can do this.

I watch Dezbe as she vanishes over the horizon. Only when she leaves, do I take a deep breath of air, and let my body collapse and fall to the ground. Laying down, beneath the hot sun, feels so warm and peaceful. As if nothing is wrong, and the world is right. I want nothing more than to sleep and rest, but I know napping out in the open isn't the best thing for me. I have to stay as close to the shack as I can. I have to be as close to Dizzy, as humanly possible, without risking anyone's safety.

Lifting myself up, I find a shady place behind a pile of scrap metal close enough to the shack, that I can see if anything happens, but they don't see me. Dizzy must be so scared. She must be worried, and she's all alone. The thought of that makes me both angry and sad. I want to rush in there, and help her. I want to tell her that I'm here, and we won't waste anymore time. That everything will be alright. Even if she doesn't believe me anymore, I just want to tell it to her. I just want to say it.

She hasn't believed much of what I've had to say lately. She's stopped caring. She's stopped thinking that, there could ever be anything between the two of us. At least, that's what I think. She's simply stopped. When I would talk to her about the future, she'd just shrug it off. I have to at her side, forever. She knows this, and I know this. But, she seems to see me now, as an annoying assistant, rather than anything else. I know that's all my fault, for waiting so long, but how does one go from being brother to lover? That transition isn't easy, nor quick. It's hard, at least for me.

Rubbing my eyes as I lay against the metal and dirt, I hear voices and the noise of a door opening and closing. Peering over, I see two men walking across the Scrapyard. Where they're going doesn't matter to me, since they don't have Dizzy with them. I turn back around, continuing to rest. Feeling sorry for myself isn't going to get me anywhere fast, and I can't do anything about the situation right now. The only thing I can do, is plan for the future, and make it a bright one.

In the future, Dizzy and I will go to New Vegas. We'll get there, and make a name for ourselves. Maybe, start a business, or something. Open up a casino, even. We'll have adventures getting there, both good and bad. Life can't be all good, or else you'll lose appreciation for it. There has to be hard times and rough patches, so when everything relaxes, you can appreciate it and live in the moment. But, together, Dizzy and I will pull through those rough patches. We can start over, and rewrite our lives together.

Then, the two of us, can start something that I shouldn't have put off. I can finally tell her I'm sorry, and that…there isn't a reason to why I love her. That I simply do, and even if I was another person, with a different life, somehow our paths would've met. Destiny or fate, whatever, Dizzy and I were simply meant to be. I would have fallen for her just the same, had I been another other man in the world.

Taking in a deep breath of air, I open my eyes, and watch the sun above me. It blurs, and I raise my hand up to block it. Dezbe's metaphor swims around in my mind. My entire life, I could never figure out, what any of them meant. Now isn't a time to think of it, but what else can I think of? Can I think of Dizzy in trouble? About what'll happen to her if we're too late? No, I can't. I have to think of anything but that.

Dezbe would always give me metaphors. They'd always be so inopportune, too. I never understood them, never thought I would understand them, and still don't. What did she mean by that? She would always…do this and it drives me insane. Last time she gave me a metaphor, she said that I was going to watch myself fall apart. At least, it seemed like she meant it like that. I think. She said…forever ago, that I needed to stop. That I was losing it. Or something…I can't quite remember.

Sitting up, I groan, frustrated. She called me a garden, once. Said that Dizzy and I had better tend to our personal gardens, before they rotted, and wilted away. Dizzy and I had been fighting over something back then, and after Dezbe said that, we started fighting about how we didn't have gardens. Then, Dezbe pulled me aside, and said I needed to stop being 'bedrock'. She didn't reiterate, she just left it at that. For a whole week, too, she called me 'bedrock'. Charon had to explain to me that it was a very hard sediment. I hadn't known that. I don't even know why I'm remembering all this right now.

But maybe…maybe there's something I'm not seeing. She said, Dezbe, that the beauty of this world, is that it isn't there. That some things are beautiful, because you don't realize them, or realize them too late. I feel weak, but with my fingers, I draw in the dust. As if the metaphors of my life, are coming alive right before my eyes. A timeline, I suppose, I don't know. The drawings mean nothing, but they help me think. Think about what, I can't say. My mind is a flurry of millions of things at once, and at the center of it all, is Dizzy. Just Dizzy, only Dizzy. But there's more. There's more, around Dizzy and my own thoughts. There's…something about myself, that I haven't found yet.

And suddenly, it hits me. Everything all at once, hits me. As if I'm remembering some horrific dream, I lie back down and breathe out. My body finds strength, from somewhere I hadn't ever known existed before. That line, that I never should have crossed…I crossed it, and I can never go back. Is what I'm feeling, acceptance? Acceptance of…of what? Hate and dread and regret all fill me up at once. I'm…alone. For the first time. I'm alone, with no parents, no Charon, no Dizzy. And it makes sense. Everything, finally makes sense.

My entire life, I've been with Dizzy. My entire existence is because I'm programmed, to just be beside someone, to protect them. But external forces changed it all. Emotions became a part of me. I've been locked inside myself, dying to get out, and I never could until right now. Right now, I know what I have to do. I'm meant to save her. To protect her. That line I crossed, is the line of boundaries. I've crossed it. I cannot go back. I can never let Dizzy go. I cannot let myself go. What Dezbe says, what Charon says, holds nothing to me, because it's not supposed to. It's all a test. And I don't intend to fail. I'm sure, it'll become more clear as I figure it out.

Getting up, I steady myself and look around. Mounds of scrap metal that can be used to rebuild Megaton lies all around me. None of it is important, but I have to know my surroundings. There's nothing holding me inside. There's noting to define that this is the Scrapyard. Which is good, because if I want a clean getaway I can't have any obstacles in my path. Turning, I face the small shack that holds Dizzy. There's nobody around it, and I take my gun from my back, and walk towards it.

I want to run, but I can't because I have to preserve my strength. The day is still very young, and it looks as if a storm is coming. If I'm caught in a storm, without Dizzy, I know it'll probably be the end of me. Mainly because rainstorms around here can really mess with everything. But you probably already know that. Nobody appears from the shack as I near it, and nobody is around to enter it. Somewhere far away I hear the noise of some rogue band of Raiders. But they're too far off to be of any issue.

I get to the back of the shack, and I examine it. Wood and steel hold it together. It's not strong, and someone like me could easily break through it. I want to, and get Dizzy out, but I don't know who or what is inside. I have to be careful. There seems to only be one way in and out, which can be good or bad depending on the situation at hand. But as I'm trying to scope everything out, I hear something scraping near my feet. Through the thin wall, I hear a small voice. A voice I'd know anywhere. It's Dizzy's voice. Bending down to where I hear the scraping noise, I see a small hole. One big enough to fit my arm through, but small enough to where I couldn't put my entire forearm in. I place my weapon beside me, and kneel down. Dizzy is on the other side of this wall. I can just feel it.

"Dizzy?"

I whisper through the hole as shadows inside move. Something blocks me from seeing through it, but then that something moves, and is quickly replaced with a big, brown eye. Dizzy's.

"Dizzy!"

I say, happy, overjoyed. I hear her laugh behind the wall, and a hand reaches out to me. I take her small fingers in mine, and my body responds to it instantly. It's like I'm alive again, as if I've woken up from the best sleep. Listening, I can hear her voice clearly through the wall.

"Cain! Cain! I'm so happy! You're safe! You're alive!"

She's crying, I realize. She's crying, not because she's scared, but because she's happy to see me. I squeeze her fingers, holding them tightly.

"I'm here, Diz. I'm alright. Are you okay? What's inside there? Can I get you?"

Her fingers wiggle as she tries to squeeze my hands back.

"I…I don't know. I mean, there's an old man, and four people and…some guy."

"Some guy? Dizzy, who?"

"I don't know! This place has this underground place, I saw it, kinda. There's an underground place and I don't know how many people are inside. It's where they kept mom. Cain, the guy here, he wants to kill dad."

"Nobody is going to kill Charon, Dizzy. Just calm down, and tell me what's going on."

"That's all I know! I'm locked in this stupid room, and there's no way out except a door and it's locked. Where's mom? Did you talk to mom?"

"She went to get Charon. She said she'd be back."

"She didn't even act like she was happy to see me."

I sigh, and let go of her hand. She pulls it inside and looks at me through the hole as I kneel on the ground.

"She did that so they wouldn't hurt you, Dizzy. You have to understand that."

"I do, I guess. I mean, I just…I just want to go home."

I hear her slump against the wall, and her muffled cries. Dizzy and I weren't meant to be in this situation. We always thought, being out here was some sort of fun fantasy. Together, we've learned, it isn't. It isn't fun, and it isn't as glamorous as Dezbe's stories make it out to be. But Dezbe's stories, weren't fun when they were happening, either.

"I'll get you out, Dizzy. I promise."

I see her arm wave in front of the hole, as if she's dismissing me.

"I'll just wait for mom and dad."

"Dizzy!"

She hits the wall in anger, and I realize…she's lost it. She's lost all hope that I'd ever save her. That I'd ever be the hero to her, as Charon was to Dezbe. I know why she believes this, and it's my own fault. It's my own fault, but I don't want her to.

"Dizzy, listen to me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that…I fought you. I fought you, in the same way you fought me. And I regret every minute of it. Do you hear me? I regret it. I was only trying to save myself and I was being selfish. I know why you're mad. But please, Dizzy, just let me show you."

"Show me what?"

Looking around, I make sure nobody is around. I make sure that I am the only human being in the area, before putting my hand through the hole.

"What're you doing?"

She asks me, and I shake my head, forgetting she can't see me.

"I'm getting you out, Dizzy."

Pulling with all my might, I break away the flimsy wood and thin steel, enough to make a hole large enough for Dizzy to crawl through. She looks at me, astonished and back at something behind her.

"I have no gun."

"You don't need one. Come out, and let's go to Rivet City. Come out, before someone finds you."

She's hesitant to come with me. She looks at me, and it breaks my heart.

"…This isn't the time or place! Just…come out!"

Reaching in, I grab her arm and pull. She listens to me now, and squeezes herself through the hole best she can. When her entire body is out, I don't hesitate to lift her up, and wrap her in my arms. Her scent, the feel of her, everything sends my body into overdrive. I'm angry at whomever is in the shack, and I'm thankful to have her safe. But I know, the danger is close.

"I'm sorry."

I tell her, feeling her arms at her side.

"…It's fine."

She says, cold, not hearing what isn't being said.

"I came here for you, Dizzy."

"Death was your only other option."

"You know exactly why I came, so let's not play stupid."

Lifting her head as I step away from her, Dizzy watches me. I was blinded, stupid, and sheltered. But now I see it all. I see what this was meant to be.

"Dezbe left me here, not because I can't leave, but because she wanted me to get you out. She wanted me to not listen, and to prove that I could protect you."

"Cain, you're sounding stupid. We both know you're strong and skilled."

Shaking my head, I know she doesn't understand it. As I get my gun, I grab her arm and start to hurry away from the shack. Right now we have to wait for Charon and Dezbe. Because I want them here to see what I can do. Because I want them to know I'm not a complete idiot, and I finally understand what they've been trying so hard to tell me.

"They wanted me to prove, that I would do this for you. Not to listen to them, but for you, Dizzy. And if you don't see that by the time they get here, you're an idiot. And maybe that's my fault, but you have to try to understand."

Dizzy stares a me. A bit confused, as we walk away from the shack and find safety behind a large pile of steel. She's quiet, mulling over everything I've told her. Since I don't fully understand it myself, I'm hoping she's not asking for an explanation. I'm hoping that she'll just…figure it out on her own. Or that maybe together we'll come to realize something.

"…So what do we do now? It's not like…we have a home to go home to."

She asks, and I sigh. I guess sometimes, you have to put everything else on the back burner.

"We wait for them to come back. Megaton will be fine, and the house can be rebuilt easily. We're survivors out here, Dizzy."

Dizzy sits down, looking lost, and looking around.

"Are we? It's not like we know any other life. Mom and dad, they're survivors. They grew up in different places than this. Especially dad. But us? We're born and bred here, Cain. We don't know any other life. We don't know what life was like in pre-war, with all the privileges they had. So, are we really survivors?"

She raises a good point. Sitting down beside her, I sigh.

"I don't know, Diz. We have to fight to live out here, so…maybe."

"You and I, have hardly had to fight anything to survive."

"We're inexperienced. I'm sure that doesn't lessen the value of life."

Dizzy grows quiet, as she looks around at the mounds of twisted scrap metal. It's quiet, and it must be quiet for miles, since sound carries so well out here. The sun vanishes behind a gray cloud for a moment, before appearing again. There's definite signs of a storm coming, and I can only hope Charon and Dezbe get back here soon.

"That old man in the shack, he has a history with mom and dad."

I look over at Dizzy, as she wraps her knees to her chin.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. But I'm not scared of him, or his grandson. I'm sure there's worse people out here, than someone who has a decade-grudge on my mom."

"More than a decade."

"A forever-grudge, then."

Smiling at bit at Dizzy, I reach over and take her hand in mine.

"Hey?"

She looks at me, at my hand, and then back at me. Her short hair and big brown eyes shine in the light.

"Yeah?"

Dizzy asks, curious, quiet.

"After this, how about you and I get together and go off to New Vegas? I know you want to, and maybe it's more fun over there."

"You mean it?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'd have to come along with you and make sure you don't get into any trouble, but the trip might be fun. Getting there, at least."

"You know very well I can take care of myself."

"Because you never see how I have to clean up after you."

We laugh softly for a bit, as the air around us cools and a warm breeze floats in. Whatever storm is coming, is going to be a big one. But for now, it's calm and quiet. Dizzy and I lie on the ground, hand in hand, while we wait for her parents. The people I once considered my parents. We wait for them, because Dizzy's right. There's no Megaton to go home to for us, and even if we did, Charon and Dezbe wouldn't be there to greet us. Thinking of that, kind of depresses me.