Sorry for the late update. My old computer died, and I lost job and boyfriend within the same week, and crashed my car. It's been one hectic month, but happily I have a new computer and backed everything up, so I can write. I'll have tons more chapters tomorrow, but I wanted to upload this now, so that way everyone reading this would know that it's almost over, but not quite. Thanks a bunch to everyone who PM'd me and was patient!
(Dizzy)
I fall asleep in his arms, and it's the warmest I've felt. It's the most calm, my mind has been, and inside my chest, as I drift to sleep, my heart pounds and pounds. But it isn't the kind of pounding that keeps you awake. Instead, it's the kind of pounding that sets you right to sleep. It makes everything feel okay. That feeling, where if the world ended all over again, it would be perfectly okay. Because you feel, like you'd be okay. Even if it killed you, you'd be okay. That's how I feel, here and now, almost asleep in Cain's arms. In the recesses f my mind, I can hear my mother and my father humming a sultry tune.
When I was a kid, mom and dad would have 'private time' after Cain and I went to bed. Most of the time, Cain and I would sneak from bed, and watch them from atop the steps. They'd almost never catch us, and if they knew we were there, they hid it well. Mom and dad, at night, would quietly hold one another, and dance around the kitchen and living room. There was never any music, and I guess because mom was scared it would wake us. But, mom would hum this tune, and she would close her eyes. Every night, eventually, dad would start to hum with her, and for what seemed like hours, they'd dance together. It was usually dark, too, only a lone candle for light. So, it was really romantic. Cain and I would quietly spy on them, and my head would be filled with hopes of one day, loving someone the way mom loved dad. I saw how dad looked at her, and at a young age, I wished with my whole heart, someone, one day, would look at me like that, too. If you had told me, back then, that it would be Cain, I would have laughed. But deep down, I would have been so happy. Because even then, I loved him. Even then, I had this feeling way deep down inside.
His arms wrap around me tighter, and his soft snores rush in my ear. I think, this is probably, the moist peaceful I've felt him. Usually there's anxiety around him. A certain kind of nervousness. But now, he seems so calm, so sleepy, so…at ease. Outside, the rain softly hits the house, and my body shudders at the thought of it. I don't know why, but it does. I remember the chilly air, the cool breeze, and I push my sleepy body into Cain's even more. We're still naked. But, I don't think that matters. When we wake up, we'll finish getting to Rivet City.
I want to tell mom. I want to see my mom more than anything right now. I think, she left me, because she had to. Because it was for the best. Mom wouldn't just…she wouldn't just leave me like that of her own accord. Maybe I thought that before, but right now, the world just seems to have cleared up a bit. I can't explain it, but I feel like I understand almost everything so much better now. The girl inside of me, wants her mother. I want to talk to mom, and tell her what happened between me and Cain. I want to tell her, that I'm happy, that I'm in love, and that she never has to worry about me ever again. That I'll always be safe, because, I finally have the one I hoped for. I finally have the one whom I've always wanted. It was Cain. It's always been Cain. I want to tell dad, too. I want to tell dad, that he never has to worry, either. Because like him, Cain would die, before letting anything bad happen to me. Just like dad would act around mom.
Smiling to myself, I open my eyes, and look around the dark room. I'm so tired, but I don't want to sleep. I don't want to sleep, because I'm so scared that this is a dream. If it is, I never want to wake up. I never want to move. I want to stay here, forever, undisturbed. It's the most…calm I think I've ever felt in my entire life. I don't want to give it up. I don't want it to end. I wonder, if this is how mom feels for dad? If what I feel, can even compare? I think it can. I think, mom and I, are two very, very lucky people. So lucky, that nobody in the whole world, will ever love like we love.