(Dizzy)
I'm not sure what was more fun; the night Cain and I spent together, or the adventure to Rivet City. The whole way there, it felt like this big weight was just lifted. We ran, tossed pebbles at one another, laughed, joked, and just goofed off. I can't remember a time, minus our childhood, where we had so much fun. The feelings of forbidden lust are gone, and we don't feel as burdened anymore. Cain dreaded coming here, to be honest. He said he was unsure of what our parents would think. When I asked him how they would know, all he said was that dad knew, and if dad knew, mom knew. I'm not sure how, really, and I didn't want to ask. It seemed to make him uncomfortable.
"We made it."
I say as we arrive. Rivet City. The last time I saw this place, I was a little kid. Back then, it seemed a lot bigger. The sun is slowly setting behind the ship, making it look all sorts of flashy and dramatic. Dad says there used to be these things called 'movies'. Mom talks about them too. She showed me some from the vault, although I didn't know they were from the vault at the time. Something about 'duck and cover', in case a bomb hit the earth or something. What good that did. Anyways, it looks like that. Not like 'duck and cover', but really this whole 'movie' thing. I'm not sure how to describe it. Definitely cooler than the Vault-Tec ones, though.
"Yeah, pretty surprised about that. Was fairly certain you were going to get us killed."
Lightly, I punch Cain in the arm. To be really honest, though, we hardly ran into trouble. There's no more feral ghouls, really. And the Raiders are really lacking. The only things we had to worry about were the big bugs, and creatures, and what have you. Super Mutants don't lurk in the tunnels, which I'm pretty thankful for. Cain and I have had a hard time dealing with them in the past.
"I'm not that irresponsible."
We begin walking up to the bridge that opens and closes. Mom used to mention that it's open most of the time now. I wonder how long it'll be until the grass in Megaton, reaches here? That is, if the fire didn't burn it all out. Thinking of that fire makes me sick. Even more sick than when I think of that crotchety old man who tried to kidnap me. I must really like my home.
"That's to be decided. Come on, I bet Dez and Charon are having some sort of mental breakdown over us."
"I don't think so. If they were, don't you think they would have come get us? I am their precious child after all."
"No, it's the males who carry on the family name."
"You're adopted."
"It's still a good argument."
"It holds no radiation, Cain."
We laugh together as we enter Rivet City. It's all sorts of shiny. I remember as a kid, they were in the process of cleaning it up. When I asked mom why, she said it was the new hope the land was given after she planted the G.E.C.K. She never did tell me what G.E.C.K stood for, and frankly I don't care to know. Really I'm just happy I wasn't around when mom was growing up. She said it was pretty bad and dog eat dog. When she first said that, I imagined people actually eating dogs. The smaller version of me didn't have the best rationalizing skills.
But back to Rivet City. So, it's all shiny, and chrome-looking. I'm use to places having a Megaton sort of feel, you know. Everything kind of thrown together on a whim. At least, that's what I've seen while out of Megaton. Even in The Pitt, things seemed to be just slapped together with steel. Rivet City, it's different, though. It's an old ship, so they had the interior built for them. Pre-war, I'm guessing. How it survived the war, I can't say. When I asked dad how the world was even still living after something like that, he would just tell me that life always found a way, no matter what. I guess, he was right. One day, I'd really like to hear about his past, in complete order.
"Think dad'll ever tell me his life story?"
Our feet take us on autopilot, as if we've walked this place many times before. People glance up from their conversations in the halls, but quickly look away. Not because they're suspicious, only curious as to who is coming in and going out.
"I don't think so, Diz. You've heard of it, but…you don't want to hear him say it. Know what I mean?"
"I guess."
I really don't, but there isn't much time to argue it. Pretty soon we're in front of Vera's, and there's a robot ready to greet us. But we don't need the robot, because Gob and Zack are standing outside chit chattering with mom and dad. It's mom who sees me first, and I think the smile she gives me is burned into my retinas forever.
Mom gets to me first, then dad. Together they wrap me in a giant hug, obviously happy to see me alive. I mean, who wouldn't? Strangely, they don't say how worried they are. Actually they don't say anything. Just hug. And when they're done, mom gives me this look as if she definitely knows something is amiss.
"I need to talk with you. In private."
Mom doesn't say anything else. Dad gives me a look, as Cain nods. It wasn't like I wasn't going to follow her into the room, but I guess I just needed some silent reassurance.
When we're inside, mom shuts the door. It's a small room, about the size of my own in Megaton. There's a single cot on the wall, and nothing else, except the silvery steel walls. I sit down on the cot, happy to rest my feet, but mom stays standing.
"You know…before you were born, I wanted a boy with blue eyes, and black hair."
I raise an eyebrow, and smirk at her.
"Yeah but you got me. I'm worse. I'm a girl."
Stressed, mom rubs her temples and closes her eyes.
"That I know, trust me. I'm happy, that I got you, I'm just trying to figure out how to start this conversation."
"What conversation?"
"The conversation to help you in life."
I raise my other eyebrow in equal confusion.
"What?"
Mom sits beside me, and I can see in her eyes she's still confused.
"Dizzy, you and Cain…look. There's going to be a lot. A lot that I can't protect you from. And things, things are going to get hard. But you can't leave him. And it's not because of any reason other than how you feel. I've left your father, and he has left me. Some relationships work that way, but sadly, you don't have the privilege to do that with Cain. I want you to understand this. "
"Mom, I do get it. I know it's going to be hard. You're worried. You're supposed to be worried."
"And why's that?"
"Because you're mom."
She laughs a bit, and we both light cigarettes. Mom seems to relax a bit more.
"I'm happy you're safe."
"You should tell me about you and dad."
Leaning back, I feel sleepy.
"What about me and your father?"
"You just said you left him. Were there other women?"
Something stirs in mom. She looks like a sick mixture of hurt, and uncomfortable. I'm about to say she doesn't have to answer when she opens her mouth.
"Diz, there were only two. And honestly, I'm not sure how I got to be that lucky. I suppose, even if there were, though, I would still take him back."
"What? Why?"
"Because we were young and foolish back then. At least I was. Your father…a bit later on. But love, Dizzy. Love is a very powerful drug. Even more powerful than Jet. When you're in love with someone, no matter how much they hurt you, you still just only want to care for them."
That's pretty deep words for the Wasteland. Really, I can't imagine Cain staying very loyal. I haven't thought much about it, but then again there hasn't been time. I've been so busy enjoying the moment, I haven't thought about the future. Maybe that's a good thing, though. Cain doesn't seem like the type to be disloyal. Then again, I thought the same thing about dad, too, and look what happens.
"Either way, Dizzy, there will be hurt, and love. Everything has to balance out. Take the bad, and remember the good."
"Mom, why are you so worried, anyways? If Cain is like dad, I don't have to worry."
"I'm worried about your survival, but mostly, I'm worried about how you're going to be in an argument. I can't lose the both of you."
I can't really argue that, so I hug her. She hugs me back, and it's probably one of the most tender moments mom and I have had together. When we pull apart, she smiles at me, and rubs her fingers through my hair.
"I am so proud of you."
Those words…I had no idea, they would make such an impact. It takes everything I have to keep myself from crying. I don't know what she has to be proud of, but, still. Mom smiles at me, rubbing my cheek with her soft, smooth hand. Pretty soon, the door opens, and dad and Cain walk in. Dad smiles at me, and I can't hold myself back. I hug him. He's my daddy. My one and only. I know there are girls out there, with no dad, or no parents. I feel lucky, to have both of mine. To have them both love me and forgive all the bad things I've done. In fact, I couldn't ask for a better set of parents.
"Diz, what's gotten into you?"
Dad asks, as I squeeze him tighter.
"I just really missed you."
Which is true. I have missed my dad. A lot. Being with Cain is great, and I was happy, but in the back of my mind I was worried if dad would be okay. I knew he would be, but still. It's scary to see one of your parents like that. All unconscious and whatnot. Plus there was a lot of blood, and…the whole thing was just stupid and worried me.
"I missed you too."
Letting go of dad, I take a step back into Cain's chest. I feel his elbow resting on my shoulder, all casual-like. Glancing up at him, I catch a sideways smile. It makes me sideways smile back.
"Barrows will want to see the both of you. After that we have to go see Horace Pinkerton. From there, we'll go home."
Mom says, suddenly badass and ready to fight someone. Mom's like that. She's either really goofy, or really serious. Dad's always really serious. But they're my parents and I love them.
"But mom, I'm fine. Why do I have to go see Barrows?"
I whine, really not wanting to go. Barrows was always hanging around our house growing up because of Cain. It got annoying. I don't mind seeing him as a friend, but as a doctor it's weird. I guess I just grew to see him as an uncle, and having my uncle give me shots and examine my body is weird. Although he's actually a wonderful guy. I just hate checkups and doctors. Radiation, all the way.
"It's more Cain than you, Dizzy."
Dad says and I smile. That was almost too close for comfort. Cain lifts his elbow off of my shoulder, and I look up at him. He's not at upset at going to see Barrows as I am. Mainly because he's use to it.
"Alright, which way?"
Dad leads us all in line out of the room. Gob and Zack tell dad that they're going to stay behind for us, and when we're done we'll begin the drive back to Megaton. With all the rubble that I saw, though, I wonder how anyone could drive. I've never seen anyone drive anything before Megaton caught fire. Gob was always fixing things, it was destiny that one day something would work. But maybe there's this pathway I don't know about that brings you straight from Megaton to Rivet City with no rubble. Or vice versa, whichever way you're going.
"It's just down the hall."
Mum tells me, but she lied. We ended up taking a lot of turns, and taking stairs down to Dr. Barrows' office. Nurse Graves was with him. I've always liked her, she has this kind, gravely voice. One that really makes you feel like they care, and that you're safe. Although nobody is really safe anywhere out here. Super Mutants could come any minute and try to take over Rivet City and leave nothing behind. But Super Mutants aren't that smart.
Barrows and Graves turn around when we enter. There's no a lot of room in here for all of us.
"Why haven't you moved down to the old lab yet?"
Mom asks Barrows. He puts his clipboard down, and shrugs.
"We're in the process of that. The old lab is where patients rest, up here is where I treat them."
His eyes wander over to Cain, and whatever stress he had sort of dissipates. It's like Barrows was worried about him, or something.
"I'm happy to see you're holding up just fine."
Cain nods.
"Yeah, well, things are…different."
"How do you feel?"
"Same, but different."
"Good or bad?"
"Good."
He shines some light in Cain's eyes, and looks at his teeth. I don't know why, but he did.
"Horace Pinkerton would probably be better suited to see Cain at this point. With no visible injuries, there's nothing I can do. But maybe he would have some words of advice."
Horace Pinkerton? Mom and dad nod knowingly at Barrows.
"Can he be trusted?"
Dad asks, and Barrows shrugs.
"I can't say. I don't know him too well. But I doubt he's dumb enough to pull one over on you two."
With that we leave the room. Cain looks at me, a bit worried, and I take his hand. Squeezing it lightly, as mom and dad walk ahead of us, I give him a look that says everything is going to be okay. Even though I don't know where we're going, or who Horace Pinkerton is. (Cain)
Things resume like nothing ever changed. It's strange, but comforting. I can't remember, any point in my life, where things were this calm. Dezbe and Dizzy laugh and talk, as if they're best friends. They were close before, but now, it feels like everyone is just a bit closer. In this family, I no longer feel like an outcast. Perhaps maybe, it's because Dizzy and I did our own thing. I finally feel like there's a connection to these people now, other than the sympathy Dezbe showed me years ago. Charon says nothing, but every now and again he'll glance back at me. I know he knows. It's this strange , biological connection we share. There's no need for us to have words, to understand one another. Maybe that's why I was closer to him growing up, than anyone else.
In a world where everyone talks, moves, goes, fast-paced, killings, defense, everything…there was Charon. And within that fast-paced environment, if something happened, he knew. I knew. Time would cease, and we'd share a knowing look, and continue on. Sometimes a silent understanding is a lot better, than words and flapping lips. But he hangs back, letting Dezbe and Dizzy lead the way out of the city. He walks beside me, our height matching, our build the same. I have always felt inferior to him. As if I'm this genetic mistake, based on his achievements and greatness. But now, walking beside him, silent, I feel something different. I feel like…I'm his equal.
"You know now, Dizzy is your responsibility."
He says, not asking. I nod, keeping my eyes set forward.
"I do."
"Can you handle it on your own?"
"Could you handle Dezbe?"
"It took learning."
"This will too."
We keep it short. A soft pat on my back tells me this man who raised me like his son approves. But I'm not his son any longer. I am my own being, in a sense. I belong to Dizzy, because without her I will die, but this self-awareness, this feeling of finally no longer standing in Charon's shadow, is the most powerful thing I've ever felt. My life is similar to his. I have Dizzy, he has Dezbe, and yet, the similarities end there. When Megaton is rebuilt, Dizzy and I will go off to New Vegas. Something Charon and Dezbe never did. We will adventure, just the same, but they'll be very different ones. Charon had a lot of time to gather information about the world, before meeting Dez, and creating their story together. Dizzy and I, have little knowledge of the areas beyond The Pitt, our survival skills need great improvement, and who knows how we're going to stand one another for such a long time? Without being able to get our own space until we reach New Vegas, things will be tough. But there's also something inside, that tells me I'll appreciate those hard times. They'll make us stronger, closer, but never tear us apart.
I foresee nights spend alone, angry at one another. I can tell there'll be angry and heated arguments, paired with passion that could burn the hot desert sun. But those moments, we'll in time come to laugh at. And the good we'll share together, the bad, we'll have to endure. It's what everyone out here goes through. Those lucky enough to go through it with somebody else, that is. Dezbe and Charon have a love story that nothing could ever measure up to, but, Dizzy and I will make our own. And it will be something big, in its own right.
The sun is almost gone when we leave Rivet City. Dezbe and Dizzy still talk together, about things men don't understand. Charon and I keep our silence, knowing that our conversation is in watching the surrounding areas.
"Charon? Is that the broken part?"
Dezbe turns and points to the broken bow of Rivet City. Charon stares at her, a bit dumbfounded.
"Yes."
She smiles at him, a wide-toothy grin. He chuckles in tolerance, and we make our way over. As we get closer, guns begin to come out, and I hear the familiar cocking of Charon's shotgun.
"Cain, Dizzy, there's Mirelurks in there. Mirelurk Kings are much stronger than Mirelurks. They use a supersonic attack, for lack of a better term. It can cause severe headaches, and distortion. So be on your toes."
Charon tells us, as Dezbe opens the door. It's dark, but soon a light emits the walls in a dull glow. It's only then I realize, Dezbe put her Pip-Boy back on her arm. It suits her. As if she was simply made to have it.
"We're gonna have to take a swim."
Dezbe says, standing on top of stairwell. The whole bow is lopsided, and walking crooked gives me an uneasy feeling. Dizzy taps my shoulder, holding her small Magnum.
"This might be fun."
"Or dangerous."
"Which is fun."
I shake my head at her and we follow Dez and Charon down the steps. Charon steps into the water first.
"It's up to my waist."
He calls, which means on Dizzy and Dez, it'll be close to their chest. But that doesn't seem to bother either one of them, as Dez jumps right in, and Dizzy pushes me forward.
"Be careful."
Dezbe warns us, and soon enough I hear the screech of what can only be a Mirelurk King. Nobody gets alarmed, or scared. Everyone simply draws their weapons. Pretty soon, there's bullets flying, and creatures coming up from the water as we navigate the dark and flooded halls.
"Watch for ricochet bullets!"
Charon yells, even though there's no place to really dodge an oncoming bullet. Soon enough, we make it to a dry area. The Mirelurks, Kings and not, are dead. A door in front of us possibly leads to the mysterious Horace Pinkerton. It's Dez who opens the door, and we all step in.
I'm not sure what I expected when I heard of Horace. A doctor who can fix androids and give facial reconstruction reminds me something of Dr. Barrows. But the man who stared at us as we barged in, was nothing like Barrows. He's short, and old. Older than I've ever seen anyone before. I felt just getting too close to him would make him turn to dust. Everyone put their guns away when they saw he was nothing but a harmless old man. Except for Charon. He kept his tightly clenched in his hands, aimed at the ground. His eyes follow Horace closely. Something tells me, this man, isn't at all what he seems. And Charon feels the same thing.
"What the bloody hell is going on here?"
He asks, an old, gruff voice. Dezbe steps forward.
"Dr. Barrows says you fix scars, and androids."
"How the hell did you find me?"
"It wasn't that hard. I'm Dezbe. This is my partner Charon, my daughter Dizzy, and her partner Cain."
Horace stares at Dezbe, but when she says Charon's name, he doesn't hesitate to look. He stares at him, their eyes meet. An uncomfortable silence fills the room, as they stare down one another. Charon doesn't flinch, and eventually, Horace does.
"I see no android here."
Dezbe motions towards me.
"He's an advanced…uh…I forget the word. But he's an android. I mean, built by machines. His organs look and feel real, but they're all synthetic. His mind is like this computer, thing. And I have this scar I want removed, too."
"You think you can barge in here and demand my services?"
Horace is angered, and yells. Charon and I step forward, in front of the women. He stares at both of us, our matching height, our faces, eyes, everything. I feel like I'm back in the Citadel Ruins. Back underground, being poked, prodded, and examined under giant microscopes. He staggers back a bit, raising his arm, his face turning to disbelief.
Just as quickly as the disbelief sets in though, he hides it. I glance at Charon, and he glances at me. This isn't an ordinary man. He's hiding something. We came here seeking help, and found something a bit more disturbing.
"Alright. Alright. I'll take a look at your scar."
Dezbe pushes through us, excited.
"It's this one right here."
Behind us, I hear Dizzy tinkering with tools and surgical supplies lying around. As long as she doesn't break anything, she should be fine. Dezbe shows Horace the scar on her neck, and Charon watches carefully.
"Easily fixable, will have to put you under, though."
"I'm immune to radiation. You're a doctor, that should be useful information."
"It doesn't matter."
Horace turns away and goes behind a white curtain. Pulling it aside, there's an operating table, with a monitor, and other such machines. It reminds me of Doc Church's office, and Dr. Barrows. Dizzy creeps up behind me, and takes my hand.
"I'm scared."
She whispers. Charon follows Dezbe to Horace, and I look behind at her.
"Why?"
I whisper back. She hands me a small piece of paper. It's dated from pre-war, and extremely delicate. On it, a small sketch of someone strongly resembling myself. Only this person has a lost, vacant look in the penned eyes, and they stare off at something. They're wearing a white tank top, and the bottom half of what looks like pre-war leather armor.
I glance up from it to see Dezbe laying on the table, Charon keeping a watchful eye on everything. Walking over, I get Charon's attention, and silently slip the paper into his hand. He feels it, and looks down. It feels like a lifetime, as he stares at it, examining the age. Some pieces of it fall off, worn with three, or four hundred years of age. It's yellowed, and stained. He looks up at Horace, and points his gun at him just as he's about to put Dezbe under.