A/N: Back by popular demand! Okay, confession time: I've had this in my head for a while, I just couldn't get it down. I kept getting major blockage. So I gave up and called it nothing more than a one-shot so I wouldn't feel quite so guilty. Then, just today, I found a message in my PM inbox from more than a month ago that had somehow never made its way to my e-mail and so I had never seen it. Lo and behold, it's a message from kath46 telling me that I should totally continue and write the next chapter. I was suddenly inspired to write the elusive second chapter! So everyone, give kath46 a big round of applause. This chapter is dedicated to her.
And I'm sorry if it's a little rough around the edges. As always, my work is unbeta'd and while I'd love a beta, is has to be someone who is a rather intense editor. So this is a very rough draft that I whipped up and hope isn't so full of holes that it sinks.
Oh, and rivendellelve, yes, the Case Gods thing is from one of the episodes, I believe, although I cannot rightly remember which.
"Where are we going, Deeks?" Kensi asked.
They had been silent up til then, strangely enough considering her declaration that they needed to talk. Deeks had looked at her, nodded and then led her out to his car, motioning for her to get it. She had complied, and had been left in suspense about where they were going or what he planned to show her.
"A daycare," he said.
"A daycare?" she asked incredulously.
"Yes." His answer was short and clipped, belying none of his intentions or emotions regarding the matter.
Kensi let it go. Her partner was in a strangely taciturn mood, and she had a feeling that it wouldn't be too easy to break him out of.
Still, the silence was stifling. Usually, he had the radio playing, music or talk in the background behind his incessant chatter. Now it was just awkward. She wished for even NPR to start playing.
Finally, he pulled into a parking lot. The sign read, "2nd Century Adult Day Healthcare" and Kensi was filled with a sense of awful understanding.
"Come on," he said shortly.
She followed without complaint. The building looked cheerful enough, but Kensi couldn't help but regard it with sadness. It was a terrible thing, she thought, just masked in brightness.
"Hello there, Marty," the receptionist greeted her partner warmly. "You're here early. And who's this?"
"Hey Martha. This is a friend of mine from work, Kensi. Kensi this is Martha." Addressing Martha, he continued, "We got let off early. Thought I'd bring her by when I came to say hi."
It was a clever enough lie, simple and believable, but she could see that Martha didn't believe it for a second. Still, the receptionist let it slide and instead ushered them into a hallway.
"You know how to get there," she called to Marty as they left.
"Seems like a nice lady," said Kensi, conversationally.
"Yeah," Deeks said. "I made sure of that before I brought her here. I wanted her in good hands."
Kensi didn't have to ask who "she" was. She was enough of an investigator to figure that out.
Deeks led her to a nice little room with a lot of seniors sitting around, playing bingo, watching TV, yelling at each other, doing puzzles, telling stories of younger days and younger grandchildren. "I will sometimes come by and see her when I have time. Usually, though, she's here all day and her nurse comes and takes her home at night. I wish I could do more for her, be there for her more, but..." he trailed off. "I guess I just can't handle it. I don't know what to do with her. I would never be able to look after her, not with my job. The thing is, even if I had I different job, I think I might do it the same way. I can't handle it." He sighed, looking down at his hands. "I'm pathetic."
Kensi said nothing. There was nothing to say. Nothing that could possibly make him feel better. She laid a comforting hand on his shoulder instead.
"Where is she?" she said at length when the silence had stretched on.
Deeks looked around for a moment before pointing to a woman watching cartoons on a small television. Kensi couldn't see too much resemblance at first, but then she saw the woman's eyes, the exact same crystal blue eyes.
Her partner seemed to follow her thoughts. "I look a lot more like my dad. Lucky me." He was, in fact, nearly a carbon copy of his dad, something he wasn't all that proud of.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be." He sighed again. "Do you want to meet her?"
"That's what we came for, isn't it?"
They shared a somewhat uneasy glance and started walking up to her. The nurses glance up and waved at Deeks as they passed. "You're quite the lady killer here, it would seem." Kensi smiled good-naturedly.
"Yeah, well, I would never date these women. They actually know my mother." The two of them laughed softly. His laugh was pained.
It felt like years, but they finally reached Deeks' mother. "Mom?" Deeks asked, his voice shaky.
The woman didn't respond.
He turned to Kensi apologetically. "She gets like this sometimes. It's like she isn't aware of anything. Sometimes she pretty clear on what's going on, who I am. Sometimes she thinks it's back about 20 or so years ago, and I'm my dad." His laugh is humorless and biting with pain. "I guess it makes sense. Still, it's always a bit freaky with she reacts to me like she expects me to hit her. I can never get used to that."
Kensi couldn't find that words to respond. Anything she said would been stale, trite. Something that one would expect on a Hallmark "I'm sorry for your loss" card. And Deeks deserved so much better. So much more than he'd gotten.
Instead, she turned to his mother. "Ms. Deeks?" Aside to her partner, she said, "Is that her name, or is it something else?"
Deeks nodded in affirmation, wondering where his partner was going with this. "Her name's Marissa Deeks."
"Marissa, my name is Kensi Blye. I work with your son. I know you can't exactly hear me right now, but there are some things you should know; he's someone to be proud of. He's done a lot of good, and I am lucky to know him. I wanted to thank you for that. Without you, he wouldn't be here. And since he's saved my life on several different occasions, you can know that I wouldn't be here either." She didn't look at Deeks, knowing that if she did, she'd falter, start stumbling over her words like a seventh grader on her first date. "I owe you my life. So do a lot of other people. You might never remember any part of this, but hopefully, it will stay there in your heart, somewhere."
She turned back to her partner, who was doing a very lifelike impression of a goldfish. "Come on, let's get out of here. We can go for a beer or something."
Wordlessly, he followed her out.
They were in her apartment. Her phone had on it two messages, one from Callen and one from Hetty. They had both said pretty much the same thing: Come back when you're ready.
"Are you okay?" It seemed the most pertinent question to ask, Kensi thought logically.
"Yeah." Kensi gave him a hard look. "Okay, I'm not perfect, but I will be."
"You bet your ass you will." Her tone brooked no argument.
"Yes, ma'am."
"Don't call me ma'am, Deeks."
"Yes, sir."
She couldn't help it; she laughed, and suddenly all of the built up tension spilled out into hilarity and they were crumpled up in mirth, nearly knocking over the six-pack of beer that they had yet to open.
The stress of the situation have finally dissipated, the partners simply stayed and chatted, enjoying each other's company and sipping on warm beers.
"Did you mean what you said?" Deeks asked sometime later, out of the blue and somewhat shyly.
"What I said when?"
"At 2nd Century. To my mother."
Kensi looked at the nearly empty beer in her hand. "Of course. Kensi Blye doesn't say things she doesn't mean."
"Kens, you lie all the time. It's your job."
"No, Tracy lies. Or Leah lies. Or whoever I am at that moment lies. But Kensi Marie Blye? She says what she means and she means what she says."
"An elephant's faithful, one hundred percent?" Deeks grinned at her.
"Something like that." She grinned right back.
Deeks took another sip of beer. "You know what's sad? I think that's the first time anyone's said they're proud of me, despite the roundabout way you did it. My dad never would've... and by the time I did anything to be proud of, my mom barely remembered her own name. It's kind of..." he scrambled for words, "surreal," he said lamely.
"Well, your dad was an ass." Kensi was blunt and firm. "It makes me think of an old saying I heard once: If they're shooting at you, you know you're doing something right. So if he isn't happy with you, you're probably doing something right. 'Sides," she added, "you've got plenty of people who are proud of you now. They'll just never say it to your face. They're too manly for that."
"If Callen or Sam heard you say that..."
"They wouldn't do anything."
"Maybe not to you," Deeks conceded. "But me? They'd kick my ass for not disagreeing with you."
"Probably."
They lapsed into a silence that was finally comfortable.
The next morning, they came into work together. Sam and Callen made a few lewd comments and Deeks and Kensi deflected them with practiced ease and some banter of their own. No mention was made of the day before.
Eric whistled from atop the stairs. "We've got another case. The Case Gods have definitely been busy."
Hetty watched her team approach and smiled. Mr. Deeks would be just fine.
A/N: So, yeah. I'm a little nervous about this, cuz I put it together so quickly. writeordie is a pretty great site, by the way. It also helped me to finally finish this. Hopefully you all like it and think that this is a bit of a better ending than before.
With love,
32, formerly known as WCG