(Dizzy)
"Who the hell is that man?"
I yell at Cain, as if he has all the answers. Well he should, right?
"How do I know? Obviously someone from Charon's past."
"And how did he know you? What you are? How?"
"Dizzy, I don't know. Maybe…he was someone involved? But Charon says he's trustworthy."
"And you believe him?"
"Don't you?"
I eye him really angrily, my gun still tight in my hand.
"No. Because…lots of people tried to hurt mom and dad in the past. I don't ever want to see it. Hearing about it, is a lot different, than actually living it."
"I understand that, but you also have to understand that there's no safer place than with me and Charon."
"I don't want to! This is my family, and everyone else needs to get out!"
Cain doesn't catch me in time. I push right past him, and storm back into the stupid lab. Lights from an x-ray viewer light the path, and a skeleton lies near where mom was about to get surgery. I turn my nose at it, and follow the sound of chattering voices.
"Dad!"
I yell, storming into the small sitting area. Dad looks at me, his arm around mom.
"Dizzy."
He responds, all sorts of cool and calm.
"Dad who the hell is this? You can't just go around trusting people! Isn't that what you told me? Dad! We should go now!"
To my surprise, he laughs. Dad laughs. I don't think I've heard him laugh more than a handful of times in my entire life. He didn't even laugh when we played tea-party together.
"Dizzy, relax. John is someone I once knew, as I said before. He means us no harm. Come and sit."
"No!"
"She has your stubbornness."
That stupid man says and I turn right to him.
"I don't know who you are, or what you intend to do, but this is my dad! He's mine and you're not going to take him away! I'll kill you myself!"
I raise my gun, but before I can do anything else, I feel Cain's arms wrap around me, and my feet lifting off the ground. Dad stands up and takes my gun from my hand. With a bit of a struggle, that is. He empties the bullets, and hands it back to me. John howls with laughter.
"Only you would have to deal with the sufferings of raising a daughter, Charon."
"Her stubbornness comes from her mother, and she's quite the handful."
"I can imagine boys knocking on the door, trying to break it down to get to her."
"They weren't that stupid."
Cain sits me down and I sigh angrily. I still don't trust this man, but the look mom is giving me tells me to behave.
"Dad kept me on a short leash."
"You're still on one, Dizzy."
He sits back down, while John's stupid face smirks in amusement.
"Daughters are a lot more difficult than sons, that's for sure."
He talks like he has kids himself. I cross my arms over my chest, and give Cain the death glare.
"Are you two together?"
John asks me, and the question kind of knocks me off my feet. Mom and dad really didn't ask about us, even though they both knew. I swallow hard, and nod my head, sort of afraid of the reprimand from my parents. Even though it won't happen.
"I see. And Charon, you stated Cain is adopted? That Dezbe found him?"
"No. Charon is not my father, Dizzy is not my mother. They raised me as their son, but I'm not. I am only tied to them now by Dizzy."
Cain blurts in, standing and brave.
"And your connection to Charon."
"I was based off of him. I am not him."
"Regardless of what you wish to believe, know that I designed the original blueprints for your creation. I know a lot more about you, than even you do."
"Yeah? Prove it."
At this point, Cain is more confronting than me.
"You have a connection to Charon, as it was designed that way. When something happens to either one of you, the other knows. Not only that, but the pairing bond is quite strong."
"…Pairing bond?"
I look over at mom, while John and Cain have their stupid tit-for-tat.
"I explained to Charon earlier. Had you been in the room you would also have heard. Yes a pairing bond. The main reason men and women were kept apart during training and even after, was because due to their training, had they worked for someone of the opposite sex, the loyalty to that person would be unbreakable. Life, and emotions, find a way even in the darkest of moments, and even in the most brainwashed person. Since Charon, was so alone and broken, without a mother, he is forever loyal to Dezbe, despite straying. He associates her, with safety, and care, things that nobody before him had been shown. Your bond, is much deeper than that, since it is artificial, not psychological."
"Without Dizzy, I will die."
"Precisely."
"But I already knew that, and I'm sick of people reminding me!"
Cain slams his hand down. My dad and mom are stuck together for life. I bet mom can move on if she wanted, but dad is kinda stuck in the mud on this one. Cain's issue is a lot more pressing, and I decide to keep my head down. For a minute.
"Charon, the boy is so much like you."
John says. It's not mocking, or cruel, more like an obvious statement. Cain looks away, angry now. I stand up and keep my arms folded. I don't like John any more than Cain does at this point.
"We don't even know who you are, or what you meant to my father, and you're sitting here passing judgment on us. I'm his daughter, and damn if nobody has taken that lightly."
"Dizzy, calm down, child. I can understand why people would rather run from you, instead of towards you. Your father is a powerful, unstoppable force when angered. I have seen so firsthand. Have you?"
All of a sudden, I hate to admit it, but John's right. I've never seen my father entirely angry. I've never seen the passion of him caring so much, that he'd tear apart towns to protect my mom. I've never seen it, but I want to. I don't know why.
"No."
"I have."
Cain says, and I look at him, confused.
"Before you were born, Dezbe was pregnant. Like, big pregnant. Raiders attacked Megaton, and I was too little to fight then, too. But Charon…the things he did to some of them. Anyone who got near Dez was killed almost instantly. And what he did to the Raider that almost shot her right in her stomach…"
Cain shudders and trails off. I look at my dad, and he nods his head.
"I'm not proud of what I do, when threats come close to my family. But I do what must be done, as anyone would."
I know my dad is strong. He's a killer, a mercenary, and powerful. To me, he's strongest in the world, and Cain is second. But to picture him hurting people so badly, it makes Cain shudder, is hard. I get why he did it, I don't think less of him, I just think of how close I really came to pushing him over the edge with all my antics. What if someone, a friend or something of mine, really got hurt?
"It's just hard to imagine. We played tea-party together."
John laughs at this. While my family is use to my dad being soft with me, he obviously, isn't.
"Did you answer a fake phone when it rang and she handed it to you, too?"
John asks my dad, who shamelessly nods his head.
"When your child does something like that, no matter how big you are, you answer it."
I'll admit it, it made me smile too. To think back to when I had a pre-war phone, taken from some rubble. I would hit the broken buttons, and play with the broken piece. Whenever dad walked by I would make this annoying buzzing sound and hand him the face-piece. I'd say 'For you! For you!' and he would take it, and pretend it was someone very important on the other line. They'd give him orders, and together, we'd execute this very intricate mission. Although it always ended with me going to bed. Or nap. I hated naps.
"I remember that, dad."
I tell him, giving him a soft smile.
"Being a father…is one thing I never expected from you, Charon. A normal life, yes, but to go as far as to make a child…"
"It was hard to envision what I once was, transforming into who I am now. I understand."
It's hard for me to see my dad as anything other than my dad. I can't imagine him being a ruthless killer, though I don't doubt that he ever was. It's just maybe, since I'm his daughter and grew up with him always loving and caring about me. I rarely, even now, see him angry.
"Your daughter…she reminds me of pre-war…"
John says, and everyone looks at me. I light a cigarette and jut my jaw out. Mom does it too when she's mad.
"I'm not pre-war."
Between you and me, I have this deep-nested hate for pre-war. Mom would show me the clothes and pictures and whatnot. It seemed so dull. So boring. What I could get from Gob growing up, was that pre-war had these things called 'taxes' and 'law'. Megaton has rules, and that's fine. Step outside the boundaries though and you're free as a Mirelurk in the open sea. Gob said it wasn't like that. That there were rules even in the open sea. I don't like the clothes. I don't like anything about it. The only thing I do like is possibly putting an awesome twist on pre-war when I get to New Vegas. I can picture those ladies mom showed me holding guns and looking all sorts of badass classy. That's the kind of stuff I like. None of this stupid, pre-war lawful bullshit.
Absentmindedly, I rub some dirt off my face. I glance at the back of my hand to see the smudge. I can't picture my mom coming over and making a fuss over how dirty I've gotten. In pre-war, moms did that. I don't want that.
"How so?"
I hear dad ask, and I look over at John.
"The short hair. The blue eyes. She has this…Charon, you remember them, right? They ran the streets at night?"
"The hoodlums?"
"Ah, yes. You see I never saw them as lawless, though. They were always free in my eyes. A freedom I still can't obtain. That's who Dizzy reminds me of. One of those wild and free children."
"My mom was one."
I say blowing smoke. I still do not like this man one bit. I toss a backwards look at Cain, asking with my eyes if we can please just go home and meet the parental units there. To my anger he looks away. As much as he's disowned mom and dad as his parents, he misses them just the same. Dumb boys.
"Dizzy, you have no idea what I was like."
"Are you going to tell me, in real detail?"
Mom gives me a smirk, and flips her hair back in this real smug way. I think this is the most time we've spent together in one room, all of us I mean, without someone trying to rip someone else's head off.
"I was wild…"
She says it like she's talking about sex. Weird as that sounds. I'm not too good with words. Dad rolls his eyes, and I eagerly listen as he looks at me, then John.
"Dezbe was a character back then."
"I still am."
"Regardless. Dizzy, it's hard to describe really, what your mother was back then. It was something, you'd simply have to see."
"Your father isn't the best on telling moments when he wasn't there."
I cock an eyebrow, and sit at their feet. Cain sits beside me. Although he's known their history far longer than I have, this part…is new to both of us. Mom and dad have three people, eagerly listening for their unedited version of one another. All they do, is sit a bit closer to each other.
"Before I met your father, I had two or three months to myself. Fresh in the Wasteland, I didn't know how to survive out here. But I had to learn fast, or die. I became…more or less a one-woman Raider gang, with a slight Jet addiction. The silence and solitude caused me to develop an independence, yet dependence on myself, that I didn't have in the vault. I was…am, free, in a much different sense than you are, Dizzy. You have parents who love you, and worry. My mother died before I was born, and my father at that time was off working on Project Purity. I was completely, and utterly alone."
"What about when you met dad? Did your freedom change?"
Mom shook her head at my question. It seemed for a minute, tears were going to come out.
"No, my emotions did, though. I suddenly found myself dependent on your father. There was a time, where…you see, Dizzy, your father had terrible flashbacks. It would control him, and he became someone else. During one such moment, he attacked me. I had to defend myself. I believed, for five years, that I killed him."
"You and dad were separated for five years?"
She nods, looking at the ground.
"I spent those five years in a town far south. Alone, not talking to the townspeople, not wanting to. Eventually, I returned to Megaton. During this time, your father was dealing with his own demons. To protect me, from him, he hid that he had survived the fight between us. But, fate would have it, that we both return to Megaton at the same time. Shortly after our reunion, we found Cain."
Chatter emits from John, dad and mom. Cain is quiet, and I poke my cigarette out on the ground. I knew my entire life, that my parents loved one another in a way that nobody else could compare to. But, to hear that their love, was strong enough to survive five years of being apart, saddens me a bit. I mean, how many couples do you know have no communication for that long, and then suddenly pick back up again? None. What mom and dad have…I don't think I'll ever feel that way about anyone.
Standing up, I smile at my parents.
"I'm going to wait outside. I want to go back to Megaton tonight. Or at least try to. Is it okay if I wait outside and relax?"
Asking permission to do something at this point in my life is redundant. Still, I find myself doing just that. Dad and mom simply nod their heads in my direction, as they're distracted with John. It's best to give them time to catch up. Dad seems close to this old man. I don't know why, or how. Frankly, I don't want to know, really.
Cain follows me out. Through the deep water, up the stairs, around the lopsided platforms, and out the door. Our clothes weren't fully dried from our entrance, but the air outside is warm enough to keep us comfortable. Together we find a small, secluded spot to sit. We can see the door carefully, in case mom and dad walk out. They'll wake us, if we fall asleep. Worse to worse, we all just head back to Megaton and meet up there.
Sitting down, I put my gun on the ground and stretch out my legs. Cain does the same, and above us a million, billion stars litter the night sky.
"What's on your mind?"
He asks, lighting his own cigarette. I sigh, and lie back with my arms behind my head.
"Mom and dad."
"What about them?"
"Cain…that's something unbreakable they have. It's…almost unbelievable. I know they've been together since forever, but knowing that they're so much in love, that five years of no contact meant nothing…it…puts things into perspective."
"It must have been hard for both of them to be without the other, though."
"Yeah but aside from that, think of the reunion. How wonderful it must have been."
Cain shrugs, puffing smoke from his lungs.
"Charon told me the story. It wasn't as romantic as you're making it to be."
"Oh yeah? How so?"
"Dezbe was sad. Distraught. Five years had taken their toll, and it wasn't like she took care of herself. Charon said when he first saw her, she was skin, bone, and sunken eyes. He felt so much guilt for what he'd put her through in their time together, that at first, he didn't even want to renew the romance."
I sit up, as if I'm hearing my own love story.
"Really? What happened?"
"Dezbe took some old, pre-war medicine she found. It made her sick. Charon had promised to bring her here, to Rivet City, so she could have tests done. Between that is when she took the medicine. She got sick. Charon said that during their time laughing and joking, he just fell so much back in love with her that he didn't want to hurt her anymore. So when he knew she was safe, he left."
"…Dad left mom again? Then what happened? Do they get back together?"
I don't realize how stupid that sounds until Cain looks at me. For my own sake, and probably out of fear of what I'll do to him if he doesn't continue, Cain ignores my stupidity.
"Dez went back to Megaton. To wait. And she waited, but someone from that southern town came around looking for her. Charon went to escort an old man and a Brahmin back to The Pitt. I guess the old man had some good advice, because all of a sudden, Charon realized he was letting the woman he loved go to someone else. He felt guilty for hurting her, but I guess the guilt of hurting her in the past, didn't compare to the pain he would cause her if he didn't go back. So, he did. And then, they went to the Citadel Ruins, broke a bunch of shit, found me, and lived happily ever after."
I hang on his every word. I know they live happily ever after, I was a big part in that. But still. I guess you never really realize just how much moms and dads go through until it's all explained one day. And then all explained again. And so on and so forth.
"…You think, we could ever love one another like that?"
Since we've already seen one another naked, and done naked things together, I don't feel the need to tiptoe around him anymore. Once you see someone naked, there's not much else to be embarrassed of.
"No. I think what they have is special in its own way, and what we have is special in our own way. We haven't even started our own adventure yet, Dizzy. We don't know what the future will hold."
I shrug, displeased.
"I guess you're right but…imagine being so in love, that…nothing in the world could compare…"
"Imagine the suffering that comes with earning that love. Nothing worth it is easy, Dizzy. Even in this world. If it was, it wouldn't be worth it."
I want to argue him, but I know he's right. Instead I turn my head away and look up at the big, yellow moon. Well really tonight it's silvery, and blue-ish. I feel Cain's hand wrap around mine, and the roughness of his fingers.
"We're going to have fun, in New Vegas."
He says, almost as if he's actually excited about going. I look over at him, making sure he can't let my hand go even if he wanted to.
"You sound excited."
"I am. It's our life now. Ours. Nobody in the world can tell us what to do, how to do it, or anything. Nobody will know us there. We can even make new names for ourselves. Develop whole new identities."
"I like my name, and my identity."
"I'm just saying, it's a possibility."
I smile, and nod my head. I know what he means. While he's excited to get out of dad's shadow, I'm more excited to start my own adventure with him. I want to dance. And feel alive. People who've been to New Vegas either love it or hate it. Mom says there were too many laws for her, and she got into far too much trouble, too easy. Dad says he never went, and doesn't want to go. Something about the moral standard, or whatever.
It isn't long though, before we hear the steel door of the broken bow open up, and mom and dad walk out. They're all in this world together. So engrossed with what's going on between them that they hardly notice me and Cain walking up. We could have very well been laying there dead and they wouldn't even have noticed. I don't really blame them for that, though.
"Ready to head back?"
(Cain)
Rebuilding Megaton was no walk in the park. The fire destroyed almost half the town. Thankfully, steel doesn't burn well. It just gets hot, and since the fire wasn't hot enough to melt it, everything was still useable. By the time we had returned, most of the smaller homes had been rebuilt. Charon instantly went to check on the land, to make sure crops could still grow. He panicked for a bit, until Dez mentioned something about a 'slash and burn' technique. I don't know what it is, but I know it calmed him down. The farmers by trade and apprentice were set to work fixing that. Doc Church was busy caring to burn victims, and those annoying minor cuts and injuries that come with rebuilding a town. Everyone else just did what they could.
Really it was Gob who saved everyone in the end. His extensive knowledge of fixing the most obscure things came in handy. By the time all was said and done, a week later, we had not only rebuilt, but improved Megaton. A lot less steel went into fixing the ramps, since Gob taught everyone how to make something 'structurally sound'. Not only that, but he even had time to tinker with his own projects on the side. Zack stayed by his side the entire time, of course. I stopped him in passing to ask why he didn't spread out a bit more, and all he told me was that he was learning valuable information. Fixing things to Gob and Zack is what fighting and combat is to Charon and me. Zack figures he's more a 'stay home' fellow, whereas I'm heading out once I rest up. Fixing random things, making sound towns, that isn't going to aid me. What is, is knowing how to survive. Dizzy can pick up the slack on whatever I don't do. Though I highly doubt she will. It's going to take her a long while to adjust to the Wasteland. Especially when we're so far from home.
Our house was rebuild almost identical. Back to the two-room we had before Dizzy and I left. Charon and Dez once again figured it would be a waste of resources to make us sleep in separate rooms. I didn't argue it, but I also wish that they had. Mainly since she thrashes about these days and I wind up in the living room regardless.
"Hey Cain, come look what I've done!"
I hear Gob calling me from his shop. It's been three weeks, since we finished Megaton. I don't know why Dizzy and I haven't left yet. Knowing we can at any given point in time means we don't have to rush. Personally, I think she's going to miss her mommy and daddy.
"What is it?"
I say walking up to Gob. He has a workplace in the back, an outside attachment really. A small shed for his tools, and a giant piece of flat steel set on the ground to put his projects on. Before me, though, I see something I've never seen before. It has handles, an engine, two wheels and a seat.
"It's…interesting."
Which it really is, I just have no idea what it is.
"It's a pre-war thing. Motorcycle. Figure if I could fix up an old truck, why not give it a go?"
"You could make a killing if you made these forms of transportation for everyone, Gob."
He shakes his head, smoking.
"Not enough resources, and doing it as a job means it isn't fun anymore. I like doing it for myself. Think Charon will like it?"
By now, almost everyone knows I no longer see them as my parents. They don't ask why, those not involved anyways. They just go with it, having better things to busy themselves with.
"When does his opinion matter to you?"
"He's riding it. Here he comes now. Charon!"
Turning, I see both Dez and Charon walking towards us. Dizzy is probably sleeping, since it's still fairly early in the afternoon. Lately, Charon and Dez have been joined at the hip. Neither one wanders very far from the other. It's been that way since they spoke with John.
"What do you think? Not bad for a Wasteland mechanic, eh?"
Gob asks, as Charon starts to inspect the machine that neither myself or Dezbe understand. She leans in to whisper something to me.
"It's called a moto-bike."
"Motorcycle."
Charon corrects her, hearing everything around him.
"Looks good, Gob."
He says, taking some goggles from Gob's hand. He puts them on his face, and I guess it's to keep the dust and sand out while he…rides it? I'm not sure what's going on exactly. Before I get the chance to ask, he kicks something down to the ground, and without hesitation the thing roars to life, louder than I anything I've heard before. I almost want to cover my ears. But Charon gives no time for question, he just makes it go, and before we know it, he's outside Megaton.
"He told me the other night he was trained to ride those in pre-war days. Supposedly, you never forget how. Looks dangerous."
Dezbe says, and I just shrug.
"He can handle himself."
"I didn't mean it was dangerous in a bad way."
"Don't tell me you're going to get on that thing."
She looks up at me, and from being with Dizzy my entire life, I know that look well. They both have it. That troublesome gleam in their eyes that just says 'Oh, yeah, I'm about to do something really bad'. I have no idea how I'm going to put up with that side of Dizzy, once we're away from her parents. It makes me shudder.
"Well, it would be against my religion if I didn't."
"You have a religion?"
"Myself. I worship myself, and everyone else should too."
Charon comes back, and Dez hops on without even waiting for him to come to a full stop. By now all the Megaton citizens are peering over to see what their mayor is doing on a strange, pre-war transportation device. Most of them look quite confused, some scared, and I think a few children are crying from the noise. It doesn't seem to bother either one of them, though, as they ride off past the outskirts of town. I don't think they'll be back anytime soon.
"It really terrifies me how much she reminds me of Dizzy."
I tell Gob, nervous and lighting a cigarette. Mostly because I have to deal with Dizzy alone soon enough, and if she's anything like Dez in her wanting to have near-death experiences constantly, I'm going to have more than just my hands full.
"You mean, it's scary how much Dizzy reminds you of her."
"You know what I mean."
"But you've known this your entire life. Why's it bothering you now?"
I sigh, blowing smoke out in front of me. Gob pulls up two stools and we sit down. He's always been my unofficial go-to guy. Both him and Zack, really. He ends up coming out and sitting with us, before I'm able to explain to Gob why it bothers me now, and didn't every other time.
"I guess really, because I know I'll be out there alone with Dizzy. I don't doubt my abilities to protect her, but I worry things will get out of hand. That I'll mess up or something."
Gob leans back, while Zack looks around the town.
"I get what you're saying. There's always room to worry out in the Wasteland, be it Mojave, or Capitol. It's nothing to busy yourself with right now. There's nothing you can do about it when it happens."
"You're right. I'm going to head back to the house, see if Dizzy is awake yet."
"Alright kid."
Gob always gives good advice. Mostly he just states the obvious. Charon used to tell me it was Gob who often reunited him and Dez. Once, when I was younger, I saw Gob kiss Dez on the cheek. I asked her if there was ever anything between them. With Dez always talking to him, him being the first friend she made out here, and them being so close, one has to suspect something. She confided in me, that yes, there was. Charon didn't, and still doesn't know about it.
The story goes he up and left once. Left to fight the Outcasts. At the time, he hadn't informed Dez of anything. She didn't know if he was coming back, or if he had left her for good. So in her loneliness, she sought comfort with Gob. I understand her actions, but I also understand why she didn't tell Charon. Why neither of them did. Imagine the anger he would have felt, knowing his woman slept with his best friend. But he did bring it upon himself. I'm not sure, if at the time, he would have saw it that way, though.
Getting back home, I shake the thoughts of those two from my mind. The only reason they're there, is to remind me that if they can survive, I can too. Mainly, if Charon can survive, I can too.
"You're back."
Dizzy says, catching me off guard. She's dressed in one of my shirts, and it hangs to just the tip of her thighs. Strutting around the kitchen table, she hugs me and kisses my cheek. Her annoyance factor has definitely diminished lately, although she has her moments.
"Where were you?"
Erica came round here while we were working on the interior of the house. It made Dizzy mad, so now she thinks I'm always gallivanting around somewhere with her. But her passive-aggressive nature of it doesn't bother me. We'll be leaving here soon enough anyways.
"I was talking with Gob and Zack."
She raises an eyebrow, but knows the story can be proven if she goes to ask Gob. Which, she has.
"Why do you not trust me, anyways?"
I ask as she dips into the living room, yawning and stretching.
"Good looking guy like you, and our relationship all secret…I have to worry."
"No, you should just trust me."
"I trust you. I don't trust…her."
She curls her nose at the thought of Erica, and sits down on the pre-war sofa. I follow, and sit beside her, putting out my cigarette in a nearby ashtray.
"If you trust me, then everything should be good."
"Yeah, well, I just don't like her."
"Stop being a brat."
"Cain, you're really handsome. And strong, and safe. A lot of girls out here go for that."
I roll my eyes and run my fingers through my hair.
"And what about when we get to New Vegas? There's women everywhere there. Half-naked, too, according to Dez. What're you going to do then? Fight the lot of them?"
"I can try."
I sigh. There's no winning.
"Diz, you have to understand that even if I wanted to leave you, I couldn't."
That comes out worse than I had intended it. Before I can correct myself, Dizzy gets up and storms off in a fit of quiet rage. What I had meant to say was that I couldn't leave her, because I didn't want to. Reminding her that we're stuck together, despite if we like it or not, wasn't probably the best way to go about things. Groaning, I get up and go follow her up the stairs.
"Dizzy, you know that's not what I meant."
Sometimes I think she just likes the negative attention, because it's negative attention. The bedroom door slams shut, and I make my way up the steps.
"Come on, stop being a brat."
Opening the door, I see her sitting on the bed, with her back to me. I shut the door, knowing we're alone for an undetermined amount of time, and also knowing that I'll hear Charon and Dez before they actually get here. Getting on the bed, I wrap my arms around her and kiss the side of her face.
"You know I didn't mean it like that. Come on, stop being a child."
"Yes you did. You did mean it like that. What if one day you decide you don't like me anymore?"
"That's impossible, Diz."
"Impossible because of feelings, or programming?"
She squirms out of my grip and folds her arms over her chest. I rub my eyes. Relationships can be a pain.
"Is that what this is about?"
Recently, Diz picked up a new paranoia on if I love her because of her, or because I have to. I'm not sure where it came from, but it was just after the Erica incident, so I'm sure whatever seed was planted due to that, grew into a giant, twisted tree.
"Well how do I really know you care? It could be you really caring, or some program telling you to care."
"That's now how it works, and you're aware of that."
John sent home the blueprints he had of, well, me, with Charon. We went over them together, just me and Dizzy. I am a machine, but one with free thought and will. Except when I get close to someone. Then I protect them, or else I die, really.
"Look, nothing in what created me said that I had to feel anything for anyone unless it was to protect them. I do protect you, I do keep you safe, so therefore I fulfill all that I need to do. The emotions are mine, and mine alone. You were right there with me when I read it. I shouldn't have to remind you."
"But you should reassure me."
"I do every night. I give you attention, cuddle, talk to you, and all that other fun stuff."
"I guess."
"Now will you stop being a brat?"
She sighs, and looks over at the floor. I follow her gaze, and see that there's a pack sitting there. It's half full, with trinkets around it.
"You've started packing for New Vegas?"
Dizzy nods, and lights a cigarette.
"I was wanting to go soon. It's getting stuffy here."
"Is Dez questioning you about us?"
Dez is like a teenager. She always has to know everyone's business. Especially her daughter's. I understand that, but Dizzy, she's a bit more than just overprotective of what we do when we're alone. She's been that way since we were kids, though. She's always seen our time alone together as special and important, not wanting to share it with anyone else.
"She's always asking about us. I don't know why."
"You're her daughter. She has a right to worry."
"It isn't worry, it's just curiosity I think. It's annoying and I hate it."
Dizzy lays down, putting her head on my chest. Whenever we're apart, I always get fatigued and tired. It's always been there, but since our first kiss and the night we spent, it's gotten worse. Of course before I knew what I really was, I always thought it was me getting sick a lot. I notice the difference in my energy levels, though, from when we're apart and together. Like right now I feel like I could move mountains, with just one hand. I know if I go down to see Gob again for a few hours, I'll feel tired and sluggish.
"Well, just keep doing what you've been doing and you'll be alright. Pretty soon we'll be out on our own. Maybe she knows that and wants to spend time with you."
"Maybe. I guess."
I stroke her short hair, and look up at the ceiling. The plane that Charon made me was destroyed in the fire. It makes me sad, for some reason. I always liked that plane. Dizzy lifts her head, and presses it into my chest. She mutters something, but I can't hear it.
"I can't hear what you're saying. Pick your head up."
She does, but looks away.
"I said…that I love you."
To be honest, neither one of us have really been very verbally emotional. On my end, I figured it was understood how we felt. On Dizzy's end, I can't really say. She bites her lip, nervous and looking away. It takes me a minute, to really soak in what she's saying. The last time she said that, we were really small kids, and she meant it in a totally different fashion. It all of a sudden hits me.
I mean everything to her. We're leaving home together, and I will be the only thing she has to depend on. The only person, keeping her safe, making her laugh, giving her company. Dizzy won't ever admit it, but she's a daddy's girl. She was never too far from him growing up, and knowing that she's going to be leaving both her parents for an undetermined amount of time, must terrify her.
All her life, I've been there for her. Except, not in this way. Now it's different. I have to be there for her, in an entirely different sense. She needs my support, as her protector, and boyfriend, I guess. I never gave this journey much thought. Now, I have to. Because I have to be strong for someone, in more than one way. And if I feel the same, I have to tell her.
"I love you too, Diz, you know that."
She gives me a smile, and relief washes all over her. Admitting it made me feel something strange. It's not bad strange, but good strange. I can't quite put a finger on it.
"You never told me before. I didn't know if you did."
"I didn't think there was a need to. I thought you knew."
"A girl likes to be reminded, of how their man feels about them."
I smile at her and kiss the top of her head. She's still smiling, and in the distance I hear the noise of Charon's go-bike. Or whatever it's called. Motorcycle.
"What the hell is that noise anyways?"
"Charon's new toy. Come on, let's go see them."
I sit up, and Dizzy grabs her Raider outfit. She still loves that thing.
"Dad has a new toy? What is it?"
"I don't know. Some pre-war bike thing. As you can tell, it's loud."
"I gotta see this."
The noise drowns out the conversation, and the second she gets her boots on she runs past me. I hear him cut the engine just outside the house, and leave the bedroom in time to see Dizzy running full force out of the front door. Sighing, I go and follow. So much for a tender moment.
Outside the house, Charon and Dez are getting off the bike. Dez has a wide grin on her face, while Dizzy runs around them checking out what it is.
"No, you're not getting on it."
Dezbe says, running fingers through her windblown hair.
"But mom! You did!"
"Because I am your mother and can do whatever I want. When you get to be my age, you can too."
"You hardly act or look your age."
Dizzy tries to insult her, but it fails.
"Thank you."
Charon chuckles as he shakes himself off. Layers of sand and dust come off his leather armor, and I lean against the outside wall of the house.
"I haven't done that in years…centuries…wow."
"Fun?"
I ask, lighting another cigarette.
"Yes. Not as miserable as I remember it to be. Then again the last time I rode one I was travelling up to Anchorage, so things were grim."
Dizzy gets bored with staring at the bike, and comes over to me. She puts her hand in mine and stares at her parents.
"I want to leave soon."
Of course, that's not the right way to tell your parents you've already half-packed your life into a small rucksack, and that you're heading out on a cross-country trip with your android-boyfriend with little to no experience of survival. Needless to say, they freaked out. Not at me, I had nothing to do with any of this, but at Dizzy.
"You need more supplies than what you have. How the hell do you think you're going to get there in one piece, on foot, with supplies just for a few weeks? It's going to take months to get there by foot! And no, you're not hopping a ride like I did. That's irresponsible and dumb! Charon!"
"Your mother is right, Dizzy. I agree with her. You need a lot more training and knowledge about life in the Wasteland."
"Not only that but you're barely eighteen! You can't wait another year? I know we said we'd let you go, but honey the two of you only just got home, and you're both finally so happy, why ruin it? Why put so much strain on a relationship, when there doesn't need to be any?"
Charon clears his throat at that, and gives Dezbe a wayward look.
"Not to play Devil's Advocate, but we did say we would allow the New Vegas trip. And there were many times, far too many, in which you put our relationship through turmoil. Unnecessary danger, as well. Not to mention the countless near-deaths…"
"Charon! That was before I became a mother! What we did-"
"You."
"What I did was stupid and irresponsible! I don't want my child going through every little bit I did. Do I have to remind you of how the Outcasts enjoyed mine and Amata's visit to get you?"
Charon winces, and clenches his fists. I'm not sure what exactly happened, but it couldn't have been good. Not with the way Charon is acting about it.
"I trust Cain to not let anything like that happen to Dizzy. Not to mention, I was contracted back then. Cain, is not. He is an improvement over my creation, and you need to trust in that as much as I do. We told them they could go. It is up to them to decide when to leave."
Charon looks over at a calm me, and an annoyed Dizzy.
"Stay for the reminder of the week. You know the town is having a celebration now that trade is good and homes are finished. The Brahmin have even returned. Leave after that. For…appearances sake."
Charon hates the public functions, but as mayor of Megaton, he has to go. I don't like them either, but Dez and Dizzy always do. Which makes both mine and Charon's night even more miserable. To my shock and surprise, Dizzy doesn't argue with either one of her parents. She just nods her head and shrugs.
"Okay. But then I'm leaving."
"Young lady you better make sure you do your best to keep in contact."
Dez says, trying to be stern. I think it's hard for Dizzy to take her mother so seriously, what with her looking so young.
"How? Yelling?"
Charon chuckles again.
"She has a point, Dez."
"If I knew parenting would be this way..."
"Imagine what you put your father though growing up."
"Just shut it, Charon."
They go walk around Megaton together, playfully bickering the entire way. I smirk at it. Even to me, it's refreshing to see a happy couple out here. Dizzy tugs on my hand, grabbing my attention.
"They're strange parents."
I laugh at her statement. Sure, Dez and Charon have strange parenting techniques, but their hearts are in the right place. I stop laughing, and smile at Dizzy.
"Yeah, but they mean well. You're their only child. It's natural to worry."
"…Before you got all…different, you were their child, too."
I shake my head, looking off in the distance towards the Citadel Ruins.
"I'm not anyone's child, Diz. I don't have a mother, or father. Scientists created me."
"But they loved you like their own."
"Scientists created me, and humans raised me. That's the only reason I am who I am now, and we know it. Dez and Charon aren't my mother, or father. They're just the people who supported and raised me."
Diz looks at me, cocking her eyebrow. I take a drag of my cigarette, and mimic her expression.
"To me, that sounds like parents."