This chapter is a combination of two requests I got, one from Autistic and one from O.O Toon4Toons O.O. The reason they're combined is because alone I could not come up with anything that made sense or was decent. However, when I put them together, this happened. Hope the two of you, and all my readers, like it!
Disclaimer: I own this story, but not the characters.
Deep in the basement of the Smash Mansion, which can only be reached by a stairwell in the kitchen, is the large storage room. Hidden behind several large boxes of paper, old Christmas decorations and outdated technology is the door to the secret room that was built for no reason. Popular theory is that it was a mistake: the builders had had extra materials and, not wanting to waste them, built an additional room. This probably wasn't true, but whatever the real reason was, the room had no purpose, and thus was soon forgotten. Which is why Wario thought it was perfect.
Wario, having stumbled across the unknown room while searching for spare bike parts, had turned it into his own personal laboratory. Besides using it for experiments, he liked to go there to think about things because that way no one would bother him. This time, he had something rather heavy weighing on his consciousness and was at a loss about what to do about it.
After sitting for several minutes, Wario decided that fiddling with his tools might help him think. He began to sift through the piles, and he came across a set of supplies that gave him a brilliant idea. Grinning and chuckling evilly, he hefted the supplies up onto the work table and started building.
"Holy Palutena! Waffles!"
If Ike was obsessed with pancakes, then Pit was having an affair with waffles. At the moment, he had a stack of at least three on his plate, and was eyeing them hungrily when Lucario came and sat across from him.
Hello, the pokémon transmitted telepathically, that's quite the waffle stack you have there.
"It is!" Pit replied out loud around a mouthful of waffle. "It's delicious! Where're yours?"
I've already eaten.
"Oh."
It was silent for a while. Pit was just finishing off his last waffle when Lucario spoke again.
Do you know what Wario is up to?
Pit eyed him curiously. "No. Why would you ask that?"
I can sense his presence. He's underneath us, and is moving around a lot.
The tone of his telepathic message made Pit feel a little concerned. "What would he be doing in the storage room?"
Lucario sighed both out loud and mentally. How should I know? Besides, he's not even in the storage room.
Pit choked on his orange juice. "-what? But that's all that's underneath us!"
Lucario sighed again, but only loud enough for himself to hear. It seemed he would have to explain everything to this non-telepathic entity. Deep in the storage room, he began, hidden behind boxes, is a secret room. Wario is in this room, presumably building something, which leads one to assume that that room is his personal laboratory. The question is, what is he building and how does he plan to use it?
Pit thought for a moment, tapping a finger against his temple. Then: "Maybe he's building a fart bomb."
Lucario's amber eyes closed and he chuckled, a dark, rumbling sound from deep inside him. As plausible as that may be, I doubt it. He reopened his eyes to look at Pit again. Do you not recall what happened the last time Wario tried that?
Pit laughed at the memory. "I do."
Then why would you suggest such a thing?
"Because I think he's stupid enough to try it again."
True.
When the conversation ended, Ike and Marth appeared at their table.
"Lucario?" Ike said.
Yes?
"You should come outside," Marth motioned for Lucario to follow them. "There's, uh…someone who wants to talk to you."
If Lucario knew what Marth was talking about, he didn't let on. Instead, he stood up silently and trailed the prince out the door.
Ike turned to Pit. "You should come as well. This will be interesting."
Outside, a rather large crowd had already come together in a little clearing with Wario and his contraption in the center. Marth, Pit, and Ike went over to stand with Link and Zelda while Lucario headed over to Wario.
Pit turned to the princess. "Zelda, do you know what's going on here?"
"Unfortunately, no," she said, "but look closely at what Wario's built."
The angel did so, and what he saw made him want to run for cover. The thing Wario had built was round, about the size of a bowling ball, a greenish colour, and had a fuse coming out of the top. A fart bomb.
"What is he planning on doing with that thing?"
"I'm not sure," said Link, "but- hey! Look!"
Everyone looked. They couldn't hear what was being said, but it looked as though Lucario and Wario were conversing, and it seemed as though the latter one was…flirting. Pit's blue eyes bugged out of his head.
"Holy Palutena..."
Link's expression was a combination of disgust and the contortion that occurs when one is trying not to laugh. "Is this…er, are they…is Lucario even a girl?"
Zelda turned to him. "How should we know? You should ask Red that."
He did. Red response was: "I've no idea, and I am NOT checking." It was left at that.
Meanwhile, Wario was still trying to impress Lucario. It was not going over well. Lucario was trying to be polite, but it was becoming increasingly difficult not to back away in repulsion. Wario seemed to notice this, so he decided to use his secret weapon.
"Hey, everybody," he yelled, "pay attention!" When everyone was watching him, he continued, "It's-a time for me to unleash-a my secret weapon to win-a Lucario's heart!" He said the last part like a real lovesick Italian. When he was done, he pulled a matchbox out of his back pocket, and lit one. Sensing what was coming, many people took cover. Lucario decided that this had gone far enough, and decided it was time to tell Wario.
Wario?
"What?" Wario said, the hand with the lit match stopping in midair.
I believe you're confused.
Wario laughed. "I'm-a not confused!"
Yes, you are. I am the male of my species.
Wario stopped dead. He stared at the pokémon in disbelief. However, before he could respond, the match flame finally reached his fingers.
"OUCH!" he cried. He dropped the match instantly, and it fell right on the fuse. It began to spark and burn down quickly.
"Oh no," he said. "Everyone! Take-a cover!"
He was a second too late. The bomb exploded, unleashing a deadly wave of methane that caused many people to collapse on the ground, noses covered. Even Lucario was shuddering. Wario just stood where he was, unperturbed.
What's-a everyone bothered by? he thought. It's-a not that bad.
Ike, who had been one of the first to take cover, was safely behind a tree out of range of the bomb. He had watched the explosion from a distance and seen everyone fall over, and Wario standing there scratching his head. He laughed to himself.
"Love is sure strange."
Next chapter: Pokémon time! That's all I'm saying about it. Don't forget to read and review! :)