I feel butterflies run through me the closer we get to the old fairground. I don't know why I have them. I glance at Tobias and he's watching me with a look full of adoration. I swallow and something sparks in me as I realize it's him. Being this close to him makes me feel like I'm about to fall. Or catch fire. I shiver and turn my eyes from him to look back at our approaching destination. I know that I've been here before. I have very specific memories of being here and winning and zip lining that night. It was all amazing, but the longer I look at the Ferris wheel in the distance, the more I feel like I'm missing out on something. But I can't figure out what it is or at which point in the night it's supposed to be.

"We've gotta jump, Tris," Tobias says, his voice soft in my ear.

"Jumping is good," I answer. I take a step back without looking at him before jumping off of the train. I tuck and roll before getting to my feet again. I turn to watch Tobias jump off of the train and my breath catches in my throat when I realize just how beautiful he is in action. How have I really ignored seeing him like this? How could anyone not look at Tobias and see just how beautiful he is?

I am unable to keep my eyes from him as he joins me. I brush off dust and rocks as we reach the entrance of the long forgotten amusement park and swallow nervously. It's quiet now.

"This is your big night?" I ask, a little disappointed. I figured by the way he was gushing that he had some big romantic night planned. I've never been romanced and I was sort of looking forward to it. "Are we playing a game or something?"

Tobias smiles at me, but shakes his head. "No games, Tris," he says. "I promise."

He holds out his hand for me and I don't hesitate in taking it. A spark runs up my arm and my eyes widen. I chew on my lip as we walk together, past the old booths and rides. I feel anxious again, so the stupid comes out.

"So we're not playing any games," I say. "Not even stuff like this?"

I pull my hand from his and walk to a booth and throw a rock at a stack of silver cans. The rock just bounces off. Tobias chuckles before taking my hand again. "Those things are like superglued together. Totally rigged."

I glare at the cans. "That's not fair."

"That's the way of the world," Tobias says. "The old world."

"Some would say that it's still the way of the world," I say casually.

"I would have to agree with them."

The tone of his voice makes me turn to look at him. He's got a thoughtful expression on his face and it speaks to my heart. Although, my brain is having a hard time translating at the moment. I stop and squeeze his hand, and he stops with me.

"Hey," I say, squeezing his hand again. "It's not your fault that this happened to me."

"I know, but—"

I continue on like he hasn't even spoken. I'm so caught up in my thoughts that I've barely heard him. "And from the rundown you gave, it seems like it's completely my fault that this is happened. It's my fault that all of this happened." Emotion hits me hard and I pull my hand from his, turning to the falling apart booth to keep me upright. I bow my head and a sob escapes my throat.

"Tris…"

I feel Tobias' hand on my back and I jerk away from him, and I take off running. I don't know where I'm going, but I can't look at him right now. Everything is my fault. If I hadn't dropped my blood on the coal, I wouldn't be here. It's possible all of my friends and family wouldn't be dead. Wait. They're not dead. Not anymore. And there are no answers. We wanted answers. But when I asked for answers…

That's why I'm here. That's why I'm in this position. I'm breathless so I have to stop running. I rest my back against metal. I put my hands on my knees and bed over to try to get my heartrate and breathing back to normal. I run my hands through my hair as I look up at the freestanding structure.

"The Ferris wheel," I murmur. My feet start moving of their own accord and I find myself at a ladder. Something in me wants me to climb, get a better view. I look around and thankfully Tobias hasn't found me yet. That's both a good and bad situation. Why hasn't he found me? I shake my head and place my hand on the ladder rung.

As I climb, higher and higher, something clears in my mind. My thoughts are no longer fuzzy and I don't know where these thoughts and images are coming from. I shiver at the memory of fingers on my bare skin. I swallow past through the confusion before making my way higher and higher up on the rung. Once I am at the top and there is nowhere to go but down, I sit down on one of the rungs, my arms linking over to hold me in place.

I don't know how long I sit there for, thinking over everything that I remember and everything that I've been through. And Tobias…he was just there for me from day one. I jump when the rung next to me shifts. I turn and look at Tobias, whose face is covered in sweat.

"What are you doing?" I ask him, panic filling my voice. "You're afraid of heights."

"I saw you up here and I needed to…" he trails off and stares at me. "How did you know that?"

I stare at him and my eyes burn with the promise of tears. "I remember."

His face contorts into what I can only assume is relief and he bows his head, resting on the rung. I see his shoulders shaking and can't stop my own tears when I realize that he's crying. I grip the rung above me and scoot across so that I'm right next to him. I place my hand on his back and begin rubbing his gently.

"What happened?" he asks me.

"I starting climbing…and everything became clear to me. It started falling apart when I ran away from you."

He lifts his head. "Why did you run?"

I shrug. "I didn't want you to see me like that. I didn't know what I was feeling and I was terrified."

"I could have helped you."

I shake my head. "I think it was something that I needed to do on my own."

"Don't shut me out again," he says.

"I didn't do this intentionally, Tobias."

He nods. "What happened? Do you remember how it went down?"

I nod. "Yeah," I say. "Well sort of. I woke up back at the Bureau but I have no idea how they got me. I woke to a video playing of my mother talking to me when I was a kid. And it was…" I pause, shaking my head. "I don't know. Some of it is still foggy. Ask me again tomorrow."

He grins and leans over, but stops himself in the process. I raise a brow at him.

"What's wrong?"

"I told you that I wasn't going to kiss you until you asked me to."

I laugh. "That was pre-memory Tris," I say.

He shrugs. "You're the same Tris you were half-an-hour ago. I love you just the same."

I grin at him. "Kiss me then."

He grips the rung tightly as he leans over to kiss me.

"Did I ruin your big night out?" I ask.

Tobias shakes his head. "Nope. This is pretty much what I wanted to happen."

"Me remembering everything?"

"I had kind of hoped we had done it together," he says.

"You helped me, Tobias. You helped me more than you know."

Tobias kisses me again. "Can we get down now? Please?"

I chuckle against his lips. "Yes. We can get down."

"God I love you," he says.

"I love you."