For this chapter, and future chapters, to make sense, I should explain something to you. I imagine the Smash Mansion to be in a different realm of sorts. The portal outside the front door is the inter-dimensional portal that is used by smashers, staff, and mailmen alike to travel between the mansion realm, our realm (which will be referred to as the Head Realm by Ganondorf as it is where the president is), and the home lands of the smashers, such as Hyrule and Crimea. Cell phone signal for inter-dimensional calls would be increased the nearer one was to the portal, which is why Marth's signal is better outside the mansion than inside. I hope that makes sense to everyone and doesn't sound too far-fetched.

Anyway, this is Autistic's request for a chapter starring Dark Link and Ganondorf. I apologize if Dark Link seems OOC, but look him up on google; there is frustratingly little information on him, so I did the best I could with what I had.

Disclaimer: I own tiddly-squat.

In the basement of the Smash Mansion, past the storage room and Wario's makeshift laboratory, even farther than most smashers have ever gone, is a giant, steel-plated door with a combination lock. The existence of this room is common knowledge to staff and smashers alike; what is not, however, is the combination. The sole possessor of such knowledge is the president - Mr. LePhant - but even he never knew what lies behind that heavy door. Unfortunately, Ganondorf managed to stumble upon both what lies behind the door and the combination, which led him to devise a plan to put the Super Smash Bros. industry out of business.

"There. It's ready."

After several hours of sitting in front of the master computer in the control room, the final step in the plan was ready to be initiated. Dark Link smiled to himself as he bypassed the final firewall and prepared to insert the infected disc.

Ganondorf leaned heavily on the doppelganger's shoulder; so heavily, in fact, that Dark Link had to turn his head away quickly to avoid being overwhelmed by the smell of moth balls. He toed the disc drive gently; it whirred shut. The computer screen flared blue, and numbers began to appear at the bottom, race up the screen, then disappear at breakneck speed. There was a small countdown clock in the top right-hand corner. At the moment the disc drive shut, it read 14:00, and was now steadily counting down.

"Fourteen minutes," Ganondorf mused in awe, "until every piece of technology in the mansion is infected with our irremovable computer virus. Phones won't work and portals will shut down, effectively cutting us off from the Head Realm." He laughed darkly. "It'll be the end of Super Smash Bros."

"But not us, right?" Dark Link choked; Ganondorf's breath was worse than his cologne.

Ganondorf took his massive fist and slammed it into the back of the elf's head. Dark Link's forehead connected with the table with a cracking sound.

"Of course not, you fool," the evil overlord growled. "We will make our escape back to Hyrule at the last second, so as not to alert everyone of our treachery so soon."

"Yes, of course," Dark Link responded, doing his best to keep the pain out of his voice.

Ganondorf glanced at the countdown clock. It read 13:06. Grinning, he stood up and reached down, lifting Dark Link by his collar and depositing him roughly on the floor.

"Let's get out of here," he said while striding over to the door. "I could use a snack."

"Right behind you." Dark Link picked himself up off the floor and hurried after Ganondorf. As he neared the door, he caught a flash of blue out of the corner of his eye. He spun around and stared at where he thought the colour came from: behind the filing cabinet. He watched the spot for a few seconds; seeing no further indicators, he left the room, shutting the steel-plated door behind him and proceeding through the storage room to the stairwell leading to the kitchen.

"Did you see that? He was staring right at us! I nearly had a heart attack!"

"Hush up, will you? He could still be listening for us. Besides, it was your hair that nearly gave us away."

"Don't diss the 'do, now will you hurry up and use your bounty-hunting skills to get us out of here?"

"Calm down, it's all under control. Let's go…"

Ten minutes later, Dark Link and Ganondorf descended the stairs back to the control room to double check everything before they made their escape back to Hyrule. At the door, Ganondorf plugged in the combination and the heavy slab of steel swung open silently. The traitors entered the room. Dark Link made to check the computer, but something was blocking his path.

Samus stood in the middle of the room, twirling the end of an electrical cord that traced back to the computer in one hand and holding the shattered fragments of a disc in the other. She bore a smug expression on her face, and the countdown clock was frozen at 12:52.

Ganondorf snarled in rage and lunged at the girl, arms outstretched. His hands were inches from her throat when he felt something cold and sharp press into his neck, causing him to stop in his tracks.

"You will not touch her."

Marth emerged from his hiding place in the shadow, steady right arm keeping Falchion in place against the overlord's neck. When Ganondorf stepped back away from the blade, Marth glided out in front of him, shifting the sword so that its sharp point remained millimeters from Ganondorf's nose.

"Get out of here," Samus addressed Dark Link without taking her eyes off Ganondorf. "Go on," she urged when he didn't move. "Get!"

The doppelganger flinched at the tone in her voice, whirled around, and shot out the door. He didn't stop running until he was outside the Smash Mansion and passing through the portal.

Next time Ganondorf asks me for my help, he thought as Hyrule Field appeared around him, I'm putting an arrow through his forehead.

"So, Ganondorf…now what?"

Back in the control room, Ganondorf was being subjected to much interrogation. Falchion was still way too close to his nose for comfort, and Marth's unwavering cobalt eyes shooting daggers, coupled with the cold edge creeping into his voice was enough to make even Ganondorf's massive ego shrink considerably.

"What'll it be?" Marth's voice was now dangerously quiet. "Will you lay down here and beg for your release, or will we call the president and get you evicted?"

Ganondorf's mouth curled down in a snarl. Samus could see that Marth's patience was beginning to wear thin; it wouldn't be long now before he snapped.

"Decide now, Ganondorf," the bounty-hunter commanded, "or I'll call the president this instant without a second thought." She pulled out her cell phone and flicked it on to show that she was serious.

The evil overlord looked from the bounty-hunter, to the prince, and back again. Suddenly, he drew back his fist and slammed it into the wall, yelling in frustration. He then took a deep breath and said:

"Fine. I…concede. Just don't call the president."

Samus clicked her phone shut and hummed in satisfaction. While Marth's outward appearance softened only slightly, and he never lowered Falchion, on the inside he was grinning madly; they had won.

"Well then," the prince continued, "we need to make sure that you don't go completely unpunished." The cold edge was gone from his voice, now replaced with a deadly serious tone. "If you ever attempt to harm or otherwise endanger the Smash Mansion or any of its residents, the president will be immediately notified of the events of this afternoon."

"Also," Samus added, "the evidence of the crime, namely the security tapes and this shattered disc, will be kept in a secret location where you can't get at it." It wasn't until this mention of security tapes that Ganondorf finally noticed the security camera opposite where he was standing. He mentally cursed his stupidity for not seeing it sooner.

"So, in short," Marth summed up, "if you screw up again, we'll screw you over. Clear?" When Ganondorf didn't respond immediately, the prince pressed Falchion's point into the overlord's nose. "I said, are we clear?"

Ganondorf grunted in response. Marth slowly lowered his sword, and then swung it in the direction of the door. "Get out of here."

Ganondorf exited the room, glaring at the Altean the entire time until he was out of sight. Finally, Marth relaxed. He made for the door as well, but Samus stopped him when she grabbed his shoulder and spun him around.

"So," she said, "it seems you're not going to allow anyone to touch me?"

Marth was incredibly aware of how close she was to him, and he could feel his face heating up. Samus could see the powdery pink blush settling across the boy's cheekbones. "I…er…well, what I meant was…" he stammered, "I was just…um…I was just referring to Ganondorf…you know…because he…er…tried to kill you…and all…"

"Oh," Samus tried to sound disappointed, "that's too bad." She leaned very close to Marth's ear, and he visibly tensed when she whispered, "I was so hoping that you'd meant everyone." Then she quickly walked out the door.

Marth waited until he was sure Samus was out of earshot before he exhaled the breath he hadn't fully realized he'd been holding. He stayed in the room until he felt his face cool down and his heart stop racing, then he stepped out and shut the door behind him. He leaned on it and thought to himself, Since when did she have feelings for me? He looked off in the direction she had walked. He could still feel her as she had stood so close to him, and unwillingly let a small smile grace his face. And…is it possible that I…have feelings…for her?

O.o where could I be going with THIS one…sometimes I wonder where this stuff comes from in my head, but one thing's for sure: the next time Marth and Samus meet, something's gonna go down.

But besides the romantic undertones, that got a little intense there! Ganondorf's a meathead, though, and a total jerk to Dark Link. Wonder if that whole ordeal will ever be used as blackmail…:)

Next time: Valentine's Day! (No seriously, don't expect any more updates before then. I've got finals to write!)