CHAPTER SEVEN – FIRE IN THE HOLE
"Going to the printer" had been talked up so much that Matt Sneider wasn't sure he would be impressed unless it was an absolute paradise.
Which it wasn't, of course.
True, there was a decent-looking reception area with couches, TVs, a few computers and phones. Many of the couches looked as if they had been slept in. Clearly many people had spent a lot of time waiting in this room for their orders to be filled.
However, the manager of the printer was a chubby, amiable fellow.
"Welcome! You're a new face!" he exclaimed, pumping Matt's hand.
"Thank you—Matt Sneider, Goldman Sachs," Matt greeted.
"Daisuke! Daisuke Matsuzaka," he said.
Matt paused in the middle of his handshake. "Wait, really?" he asked.
"That's my name!" the short Japanese man said proudly, placing his hands on his hips.
Matt stared at him for a second. "You realize that there's a guy who pitches for the Boston Red Sox who has the same name as you, right?"
Daisuke nodded enthusiastically. "Absolutely! The best team in the world! You agree?"
Matt bit back a disgusted snort. "I'm a Cubs fan, myself, actually," he remarked. How was it there were Red Sox fans on the other side of the world? "Anyway, Mr. Matsuzaka, how long do you think it'll take for Goldman's order to get printed?"
"Well, we've actually got a backlog of orders right now," said the manager. "So, it could be at least four hours in my experience."
Matt shut his eyes in exasperation. "You're serious?"
Matsuzaka shrugged. "It's just how we have to do things. We only have so much capacity, and everyone's always trying to demand their project get done first."
"If we got it done instead of making stupid unnecessary changes all the time, we wouldn't have this problem," Matt fumed to himself. "So…can I just…make myself at home then?"
The printer manager nodded. "I'll come out and get you when we're ready, but it could take a very long time. Only contact me if there's an emergency."
"Got it," said Matt. "Is it cool if I take a walk around the block?"
"Of course. Now, I'll have to go supervise the next shift."
Matt then killed some time watching some random Japanese game shows, which never failed to amuse him. After watching a contest involving an octopus and copious amounts of yelling and swearing, Matt decided to sneak out to Chinatown. He carefully checked the surrounding rooms to make sure no one was around before walking out the front door.
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"Where's our banker friend?" Makoto asked as she and her friends waited in a hawker center filled with food carts. People hustled back and forth, carrying containers of food of varying shapes and sizes. Lines snaked around the most popular stalls, and throngs of people sat and stood, eating, drinking and talking in a hive of activity.
"Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of Usagi chewing," said Rei irritably, as the blonde noisily chomped down on mouthful after mouthful of spicy chicken and rice.
"Hmpf?" she asked wordlessly with her mouth full.
"Never mind," said Rei, rolling her eyes.
Ami returned with a cardboard box full of takoyaki, chewing happily on one of the tasty dumplings. "I haven't had those in such a long time," Rei mused, looking at the food. "They're so unhealthy."
"It doesn't matter—what matters is, they're delicious!" Makoto interjected.
A blond guy wearing a business suit and a loosened tie entered the hawker center, staring at his Blackberry and shaking his head.
"Sneider!" Makoto called, waving. "Over here!"
"Hey guys," said Matt, walking over. "Sorry I'm late."
Rei glanced at her watch. "It's only 10:03. You're within the five minute grace period," she told him.
Matt nodded, although he still looked a little annoyed with himself.
"Hungry?" Makoto asked him. Matt glanced down at his stomach, which had just growled in response.
"There's your answer," he said with a smirk. "What's good around here? I just realized I haven't had anything to eat since lunch."
Ami offered him her box of takoyaki. "Try one," she said.
Matt chewed thoughtfully, paused, then resumed chewing. "That's…that's kinda good, actually," he said appreciatively. "Would be better with some Tabasco on it, but…yeah, that's pretty good. What's in it?"
"Octopus."
Matt's eyebrows shot up. "You serious? Show me where you got it. Now."
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"Matt, stop eating those so fast—you could give Usagi a run for her money!" Rei admonished.
"Be quiet," Matt grunted.
Usagi smirked. It reminded her of how often she and Rei used to get on each other's nerves.
"Rei, tell me something—has anyone ever smacked you?" Matt asked with his mouth full.
"Why you—" Rei started to retort, but she was interrupted by Makoto, who needed a way to nip the argument before it started.
"Punch me instead, Matt," she commanded.
Sneider stared at the brunette as if she had suggested that it was presently snowing pink monkeys. "No way," he said.
"Hit me," Makoto told him. "Or try to. Come on—we're going to go into the restaurant soon, and you need some practice, so hit me."
"I'm not going to hit you, Makoto," Matt insisted. "I don't hit girls."
"Hence the emphasis on the word 'try,'" she smirked. "Go on. Give me your best shot."
"Look Makoto, let's just—" as he said this, Matt tried to surprise her by aiming a punch directly at her face to see what she would do.
It turned out to be no problem as the Senshi of Thunder in disguise quickly blocked his punch with an open hand, grabbed his shoulder, and used his momentum to flip him over her back and onto the ground. Matt groaned in pain and humiliation, his surprise gambit a failure. All four girls burst into laughter.
"Not bad, but you need to do more than that to survive the Negaverse," Makoto told him, helping him to his feet. "Nice effort, though."
"Question…how does it feel to know that at any time, any one of you could beat the crap out of anyone you want?"
"Now that you mention it, it feels pretty good. Now…what's our plan again?"
Usagi reached into her bag and carefully withdrew and elaborate pink locket. "For some odd reason, this is what the Negaverse always seems to want," she explained. The blonde carefully opened it, revealing an immaculately clear gem that played a subtle, soothing melody. The girls all stared at the crystal with something approaching reverence.
"The bad guys always think that if they get their hands on this, they can use its power to suit their ends," said Usagi as Matt looked back and forth between her and her crystal.
"Not that we think it's possible," Ami added. "Even if they did get it, the positive energy in it would be incompatible with their plans. We think."
"But that doesn't stop them from trying," Rei finished.
"We aren't giving it to them anyway," Usagi said calmly, putting the crystal away. "Matt, nobody from the Negaverse knows who you are—or at least, they haven't seen your face, and the only one who did is now conveniently a pile of moon dust. I think it's best if you go in first, if the Negaverse knows our secret identities."
"Bluff my way in?"
Usagi nodded. "Something like that. Go in and demand to see Lucretius. Then, when they're distracted by you, the rest of us will move in. If they try anything funny…well, we'll know what to do, won't we?" As she spoke, doubt flashed in her mind at what an important job she was asking him to do. She didn't want him to get hurt. But it seemed to make the most sense to her, and there was a job to do. But if the youma knew their civilian identities, the mission would be over before it even started.
Everyone nodded. Sneider took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and marched through the entrance of Hang Fung restaurant.
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Matt strode confidently into the restaurant. It was crowded and noisy, with waiters and waitresses bustling to and fro carrying large platters of delicious-smelling food. He approached the hostess near the entrance.
"Good evening sir; table for one?" she asked amiably.
"Actually, I was wondering whether you could help me," said Matt. "I'm here to see Lucretius. Can you tell him Matt Sneider from Goldman Sachs has arrived?"
The hostess blinked and had a confused look that was almost a little too practiced. "I'm sorry, who?"
"Lucretius," Matt repeated. "You know, with the big, deep, intimidating voice?"
"What does he look like?"
"He's…well, I'm not sure exactly, but I imagine he's pretty ugly."
"I'm sorry sir, but I have no idea what you're talking about," said the hostess. "But if you'd like a table—"
"Listen," Matt channeled his inner arrogant investment banker. "Lucretius called me and told me to meet him here; he's my client and I'm his financial advisor. It's an emergency, and another one of my clients could be in big trouble because of it. I need you to stop this little charade right now and tell him I've arrived."
The hostess opened her mouth, considering whether she should continue to stonewall him. Matt played his trump card. "Look, I know you think you're well disguised, but you can't fool me…youma."
"Quiet down!" the hostess hissed, shiftily glancing around. "It's my first night shift, alright?" she whispered angrily.
"I see. Why don't you go get him then, and I'll—" Matt snatched a nearby menu—"sit right here." Sneider took a seat at the closest empty table.
The hostess sighed. Was her disguise really that terrible? She started to walk towards the back of the restaurant. Sneider quickly looked at the first page of the menu and remembered what Makoto had said earlier that morning. "Oh, and while you're at it," he called to her—its?—retreating back, "if you could bring me a plate of your famous steamed pork buns, that would be great too. Thanks."
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"Shouldn't he be in there by now? What's taking him so long?" Rei hissed.
"Ami, why don't you go in next?" Usagi suggested, as if she hadn't heard Rei at all. "They'll recognize my hair a mile away," she added with a smile. "Rei, you're going in afterwards. Then Makoto and I will follow."
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The hostess youma in disguise entered a large room at the back of the Chinese restaurant. About a dozen youma lounged around the room, looking bored.
Lucretius, black and white demon mask on, cut an imposing figure as he sat in his plush leather chair. "This human food is pathetic," he muttered as he observed the customers through the two-way mirror in front of him that looked out onto the restaurant floor.
"Sir, someone's just come in an asked to see you," the hostess saluted.
Lucretius' face remained immobile. "Do they match any of the Sailor Senshi profiles we've gathered?"
The hostess looked confused. "It's a man."
"What?" Lucretius glanced at his subordinate and thought deeply. All of a sudden, it seemed that something clicked within his brain. "Clever girls," he muttered. Then he rose from his chair and began issuing orders.
"Get the Senshi of Love out of here now," he ordered. "If they're going to send their lackeys to do the job for them, they clearly haven't fulfilled their end of the bargain. Send out a decoy just in case they try anything smart. And bring that fool back here so we can…persuade him that he has chosen the wrong side. We'll see if he's as tough in person as he is over the phone."
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"Man, these are good," Sneider said to himself through a mouthful of steamed pork bun. Makoto hadn't been kidding—they were delicious.
"Haven't you had enough to eat already?" said Ami, who had just walked in and noticed him sitting there. As the analyst shook his head, she thought about all the times she had had a fourth meal around this time during the week. Late hours of studying did strange things to one's diet, she realized. Ami wondered whether she had discovered a potential topic for her thesis…
"Lucretius will see you now," said the hostess stiffly. She didn't even notice the blue-haired girl standing near him.
"About damn time," said Matt, putting down his chopsticks and rising from his chair. "Follow me," she said, walking away.
"As soon as you hear gunshots, get in there after me," Matt said quietly to Ami as Rei stepped through the front entrance as well. "It's gonna get a little dangerous in here, I think."
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The door closed behind Matt Sneider as he took a few steps into the large back room. Several large chairs and a couple of tables stood around, most of them occupied by youma in human disguise.
Matt glanced around casually, as if he was surveying a new apartment. "So…which one of you guys is Lucretius?" he asked.
He took a step back as the imposing figure advanced toward him. The guy was a mountain—almost seven feet tall. Sneider found himself unable to look at the cruel expression that was permanently etched onto the black and white mask that he wore. Matt suddenly felt very uneasy, and his confident manner evaporated.
"So this is whom the Sailor Senshi send to do their dirty work for them," the monster growled behind his mask. "Not very intimidating now, are you?"
Matt warily looked at the monster. "I just need to know if the prisoner is okay," he said quietly.
Behind the mask, Lucretius grinned evilly. "She's perfectly fine…now, come across with the Imperial Silver Crystal and we'll have done with it." In truth, Mina was probably kicking and screaming wildly while his partners threw her into the back of a vehicle to flee to another location.
"Where is she?"
"Ah, ah, ah…" Lucretius wagged a finger tauntingly. "You are not in a position to make bargains here. Show me you have the crystal, and we'll bring you the girl."
"…okay," Matt resigned, shaking his head. "I've got the Imperial Silver Crystal right here in my coat…"
Later on, as he did with so many of his rash actions, Matt Sneider would wonder exactly why he thought he could pull a fast one on one of the Negaverse's most powerful soldiers. Especially since Makoto had proven to him only fifteen minutes before that sneak attacks weren't exactly the most effective thing in the world. But the overconfident Matt Sneider tried it anyway. He reached into his inner jacket pockets, whipped out both Moon pistols as fast as he could, and emptied about a dozen shots straight into Lucretius' body.
Lucretius stood perfectly still, not affected in the slightest. He didn't even wince.
Matt's face drained of color. It was a miracle he didn't drop both guns right then and there. If "oh, shit" could have been encapsulated by an expression, Sneider's face would have been it.
The youma leader cocked his head slightly to the left, as if amused. Then he forcefully grabbed Matt's collar and lifted him off the ground. The guns dropped to the floor; Matt's choking noises filled the room.
"You fool," Lucretius growled. "You are pathetic." He bodily threw the analyst into a table on the far side of the room, which broke into several pieces with the weight of the impact. Matt lay there motionless, breathing heavily and feeling completely humiliated.
"Comrades," he motioned to the other youma in the room. "Disguises don't mean much at this point. Finish him...and don't spare the pain." With that, he turned to leave.
He wasn't expecting Sailor Mars to body-slam through the two way mirror with a gravelly scream, shattering it into a million pieces. The Senshi of Fire rolled onto the floor, clutching an ofuda in each hand. She flung each to one side, immediately taking out two youma in the room.
"Mercury Bubbles—BLAST!" The Senshi of Water filled the room with her trademark impenetrable fog. The two Senshi went to work.
Sailor Mercury dashed through her fog, cutting down a youma with a furious kick. She turned around quickly in time to block one of its friends aiming to tackle her; the momentum of the monster's body slam pushed her back against the wall. Mercury grabbed the monster's evil head with both hands and heaved it into the wall beside her with all her might. Grunting, the beast dropped to the ground.
Sailor Mars saw the action out of the corner of her eye with satisfaction. Ami didn't always appear as gung-ho to fight as the other girls, but she certainly had her share of "Action girl" moments. Mars saw a demon picking up its automatic weapon and moved to attack first.
"MARS FLAME SNIPER!" She drew her flaming arrow, the intense otherworldly heat searing her face. The celestial projectile flashed across the room, striking the monster dead on and transforming it into a column of fire and ash.
She wasn't quick enough for another monster that began blindly spraying the room with lead. Bullets thudded into chairs, walls, and tables. Mars frantically covered her head and dashed behind an overturned table for cover, breathing heavily. She carefully peeked over the edge and saw the monster's silhouette in the center of the room. Glancing down at her feet, she saw a piece of wood that had once been part of a chair.
Mars picked it up and heaved it across the room towards the monster, striking it in the head. The machine fire came to a halt.
Another beast came charging towards her. Mars lifted the table that lay in front of her and let it take the impact of the monsters' hit right in the midsection. Mustering all her strength, she heaved the table and youma up and over head, flipping both onto the ground behind her. The wounded monster didn't even have time to get up before a red heel to the throat ended its life.
Mars whipped her head around and clothes-lined yet another charging youma with her forearm. She whipped out another ofuda and began wrestling with the monster on the ground, struggling to touch it with the charm. The beast clawed angrily at her forearm, holding her back. Their arms shook with the effort as each tried to overpower the other.
Mars pushed forward about an inch and was forced back just as quickly. The youma was lying on its back now, locked in the struggle. It was as if nothing else mattered but the personal battle between the two of them. Mars sucked in a mighty breath and reached down inside of her for a final push.
The monster fought back hard and fought back well, but all Rei needed was just one little corner of the ofuda to touch it, and it did. The youma froze up and quickly dissolved into dust, its expression of pained defeat vanishing.
"Mars! One of them is getting away!" cried Sailor Mercury, who took off through the opening in the mirror made by Sailor Mars' dramatic entrance.
Painfully heaving himself to his feet, Matt grabbed his guns and limp-ran after her, followed by Mars.
All of the people who had been in the restaurant had thankfully fled it by this time after hearing the gunshots and the commotion. The youma they were following was running for its life into the kitchen, probably hoping to find a back exit. It flipped over one of the stoves, trying to escape its inevitable fate.
"Mars Fire—IGNITE!" Rei yelled, blasting a projectile of flames at the fleeing youma's back.
The next thing the three of them knew, there was a tremendous explosion and nothing but blackness.
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Sailor Moon and Sailor Jupiter were about to charge right in through the restaurant's front entrance, but thankfully they stopped before all hell broke loose.
"Oh my God!" Sailor Moon cried as the back half of the restaurant exploded and the building started to collapse. "How did that happen?"
"My guess is, it has something to do with Rei's fire attack and a fuel tank," Jupiter observed. As she did, a piercing cry for help cut through the night. Squinting, Jupiter could see two or three dark figures hauling something into the back of a white van about one hundred yards away.
"Sailor Moon! Over there! It's Mina! Let's get her!" As they both began to run, the van's back doors were quickly shut and the engine gunned. With a screech of rubber, the vehicle took off with the captured Senshi inside it.
Sparks crackled from Makoto's tiara. "I'll stop them right in their tracks," she said threateningly. "Jupiter Thunder—"
"No, don't!" the Moon Princess stopped her. "You'll hurt Mina!"
With a curse, Makoto discontinued her attack. "Well come on! Let's get above them." With that, she promptly began climbing up a fire escape to the roof of a nearby apartment building. Sailor Moon quickly followed.
Once they were on the roof, Makoto peered around for a moment. "There! I can see the van." Sure enough, there it was, cruising along side streets in an attempt to lose them. The driver was clearly convinced they were going to simply run after it. But these were the Sailor Senshi. They were smarter than that.
The two of them started to leap from roof to roof, never letting the white van out of sight. They leapt daringly like shadows in the night, skidding on the roofs with their boots. They gained ground on the van from above far faster than they would have on foot. Breathing heavily, they were soon within striking distance.
Then the driver of the van made a mistake. Turning right, the van emerged onto a main street where there was a lot of traffic even this late at night, where it quickly became trapped in the gridlock. Despite frantic horn honking and maneuvering, the vehicle would soon become easy bait.
The pair of Senshi found their way to the bright roof of the closest available building. Headlights of cars and streetlights glared in their faces as they leapt down into traffic.
Makoto, who had landed on the hood of a nearby taxi, leapt onto the front of the van and punched through the windshield. The startled youma driver reached for his weapon too late as the Senshi of Thunder grabbed him and flung him out into the street. Clenching her fist, strings of lightning appeared in Makoto's hand, and she landed a mighty punch into the side of the youma's face. Sparks, youma blood, and electricity flew as the monster collapsed.
Sailor Moon jumped onto the roof of the van and rolled off of it, crossing around to the back doors. She tried opening them; couldn't. Whipping out her Moon Spiral Heart Rod, she gave an angry slash at the doors, which sprung open, revealing a charging monster.
Reflexes working at maximum, Usagi swung her weapon as if she was using a tennis racket, startling the monster and destroying it in a bright flash of pure brilliance.
Not seeing any more threats, she jumped into the spacious trunk to untie the prisoner within. But something seemed wrong; the figure didn't seem to be struggling. In fact, it wasn't moving at all.
"What the…" Sailor Moon pulled the black sack cloth off the prisoner's head and saw, instead of a grateful Minako Aino, a mannequin lookalike.
"Are you kidding me?" Sailor Jupiter groaned in frustration, who had circled around to join her princess.
Usagi let out a sigh of defeat. She angrily threw the sack away and exited the van, hands on her hips. She lowered her head. "I think we've just fallen for the oldest trick in the book," she said.
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Cut and bleeding in several places, but miraculously alive, Sailor Mercury shakily climbed to her feet. Her knees hurt terribly, and her uniform was cut and seared away in the back. The bright orange flames that consumed the restaurant lit up her pale face as she looked at it. Sailor Mars must have hit a fuel source of some kind, triggering the explosion. She shook her head. Did the girl think before she used a fire attack indoors? Clearly not.
Glancing down, the Senshi of Water saw a dark shape that was Matt Sneider. She ran over to him and crouched down to see if he was alright. Gently, she shook the analyst.
Matt groaned in intense pain. His jacket and shirt were covered in ash, and large holes had appeared in them. He was a mess. "Fuck my life," he whispered shakily as he opened his eyes and raised his head. The ivory moon pistol lay about two feet in front of his head. He stared at it for a second, as if not remembering what it was before reaching out to grab it.
Ami helped him to his feet. "You're alright," she said. "Do you feel any dizziness?"
Sneider shook his head to clear it. "I feel like I've just been put through a blender…how is it that we're alive even though we were just right next to an explosion?" he asked her.
Mercury stared at him. "They don't call me the Senshi of Water for nothing," she shrugged. Then her eyes widened in shock. "Watch out!" she yelled, pulling him to the side as a white van screeched down the block they were on and nearly ran them over. As it raced away, Mercury had a realization.
"They've probably got Mina in there!" she cried. "Come on!" She took off running; Matt drew the ebony pistol and squeezed off several shots in rapid succession before Mercury yelled, "Stop! You might hurt Mina!"
They began to give chase, but didn't get very far as they started to hear sirens. A huge fire truck had pulled up outside the flaming wreck of the restaurant along with several police cars. One of them screeched to a halt right in front of their path.
Three officers got out. "Halt! What's going on here? Why do you have those weapons?" one of them called to Matt.
"I, uh…" Sneider didn't know what to say.
"Please, officer—someone was trying to kill us!" Sailor Mercury protested. "We were in the restaurant when it blew up."
"Why are you running away, then? Why didn't you call us?" the officer questioned.
"Looks pretty suspicious to me," his partner added. "And why are you dressed like that?" he eyed Sailor Mercury's sailor fuku.
"I think you're going to have to come with us—both of you," said the head officer.
"What? You've got to be kidding me! There's no way you're putting me under arrest!" Matt panicked.
"You're fleeing the scene of a crime, heavily armed, with a suspiciously dressed comrade," the policeman quipped. "You're lucky we don't arrest you on the spot. Get in the car, both of you."
"Please, listen to me—" Sailor Mercury started, but the policeman, losing patience, grabbed her from behind while his partner put handcuffs on Sneider. As they were both slammed onto the hood of the police cruiser, their wounds crying out in agony, Matt could only grunt one thing to the world in general:
"How could this night get ANY worse?"