The Gilded Lilly was a tavern, or so it was advertised though neither Thor nor Fandral had seen anything like it. It was a large alehouse. The main floor alone was large enough to accommodate 200 people. There was also a stage and scantily clad women with woolen stockings covering their legs and very short skirts. While technically nothing below the waist was exposed, the very supple shape of their legs was plain. It was scandalous.
"I like this place!" Fandral said with his eye sparkling and mouth agape.
"It does look fun. The girls are certainly dressed in an exotic fashion. They barely have any nickers on."
"All the easier to kick their nickers off." Fandral said. He pulled Thor to a nearby table all while smiling ear to ear. A bar wench came to take their orders. She looked haggard and unimpressed.
"What'll ya have?"
"A pitcher of ale and two mugs please."
"Which kind?" She said.
"There's more than one kind?" Thor asked. The woman rolled her eyes, exasperated by the incessant wave of country bumpkins that she's had to deal with in recent weeks.
"I'll get you the cheap stuff."
"No. I don't want the cheap stuff." Thor reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver. "Give me a pitcher of the best ale you have."
"The best ale we have is Idunn's ale and it costs a gold coin." She said.
"Then I shall have it." Thor said taking back the silver and putting out a gold coin. For the first time since serving them, she smiled. She took the shiny thing from him and walked away looking pleased.
"A gold for one pitcher of ale. I should have been a blacksmith."
"Nay, not unless you are lucky enough to work for the army right here in the capitol. If I'm going to only come to the capitol once in my life I might as well enjoy it. At least now we can expect prompt and courteous service from the staff. This place looks like it is flooded with out-of-towners, and not the wealthy kind."
"Here you go. A pitcher of Idunn's ale. Do you gentlemen need anything else this evening?" She asked.
"Yes, we'll both have a plate of that pig roasting over the fire over there and two rooms for the night."
"Partial night or full night?"
"Full night." Thor said. "How much?"
"1 copper each for the food. As for the rooms. A copper will get you a small bed with no bathing facilities. Those are sold out at the moment. A silver will get you a larger nicer bed with a bathroom. A gold will get you a suite."
"A gold for me." Thor said. Fandral fished around his pockets and pulled out the only silver he had and gave it to the woman.
"And a silver room." He said.
"The cost for the girls is negotiated with them. Enjoy your evening, gentlemen." She said.
"I thank you for the hospitality my friend." Fandral said. The prostitutes in the room took notice of the two handsome men drinking Idunn's ale and flashing shiny coins. Four of them flocked to their table in record time.
"Well hello there, handsome." A red haired siren said to Thor. "Come to the capitol to lift the hammer?"
"Yes we have." Thor said.
"Have you tried yet?" A brunette asked.
"Not yet. Tomorrow." Fandral said. The red-haired hooker sat in Thor's lap without invitation, batting her eyelashes and bending forward to expose her generous cleavage.
"Mmmm, you look like the kind of man that is used to lifting heavy things all day. I bet you already have a nice powerful hammer, don't you?"
"Shew!" Some strange woman said behind them. She glared at the wenches and they all cowered and skittered away. Thor and Fandral looked the woman up and down. She was wearing armor, like a soldier. Her dark brown hair was pulled up into a high ponytail and she had a sword sheathed on her belt.
"Can we help you?" Thor asked her.
"Yes, you can vacate our table." She said. A big man with a red curly beard joined her. Another man, a Vanir was also with them.
"We don't see your names on it." Fandral said, flashing Sif a cheesy lecherous smile. Her eyes narrowed and she tightened her grip on her sword.
"You backwater bumpkins are a pestilence upon the city. We are regulars here. This is our spot." Sif said.
"The table is large my lady. Surely there is no need for violence. Why do you not join us and get to know two strangers? Show us how the well-bred high class people of this city display their hospitality and good manners." Thor said, being both challenging and diplomatic. The bearded man chuckled.
"It isn't every day I see The Lady Sif get bested in a battle of wits."
"He did not best me!"
"Oh but he did lass. Come, we are being rude." Volstagg took up the seat in front of him and Sif and Hogun circled round to the other side closer to Thor. Introductions were made round and the warriors sized up the blonde peasants.
"You're a blacksmith." Hogun said.
"How did you deduce that?" Thor asked him.
"The burn scars on your forearms. Apprentices often get them while training."
"Plus you smell like burning wood and smelt. It is baked into your skin, hair, and clothing." Sif said. Thor frowned and he lifted up his arm to sniff his pits.
"I was not aware that I smelled." Thor said.
"It's not unpleasant, just distinct." Fandral said.
"Aye, that is true." Volstagg said. "So have you lads tugged on the hammer yet?"
"Later on tonight we will. Then tomorrow we'll try to lift Mjolnir." Fandral said. Thor pinched the bridge of his nose and tried not to laugh. He could tell the female warrior was ready to take offense to just about anything.
"Oh well, we are so glad that the two of you found each other." Sif said. Fandral's smile melted off his face. Thor burst out laughing then, and it irritated Sif. She was trying to pick a fight still and Thor was supposed to take offense.
"Hey! Wait! We aren't...I just met him!" Fandral said, getting more red faced and flustered.
"Don't worry lad, we won't judge you." Volstagg said, carrying on the joke.
"I'm not ergi!" Fandral yelled. He was getting angry. "You know there is nothing more irritating than a beta pretending to be an alpha." He said to her.
"What I find irritating are country bumpkins pretending to be noble dandies. Neither persona is desirable and yet you appear to be both."
"Fandral my friend, I fear we have wasted our money this evening." Thor said with his eyes full of mirth.
"Why is that?"
"Because we are probably going to end up in the dungeons tonight." Thor sucker punched Sif and then flipped the table to block her friends from drawing their swords. Thor and Fandral jumped up on top of the nearest table and started hopscotching towards the exit. People yelled in anger as they knocked over ale and stepped in people's dinner.
"What's the plan?" Fandral asked.
"They have swords and we don't. Run." Thor said.
"That's your plan? We're going to die!"
"Maybe. Unless they are satisfied by killing only one of us, in which case I just need to outrun you." Thor said.
"Some friend you are!"
"We'll need to run towards the garrison and try to steal some weapons from the armory."
"At the Palace? Are you insane?"
"You got a better idea?" They jumped off the last table near the door and ran like hell outside.
"I regret I ever met you."
"Come back here! Come back and fight!" Volstagg yelled. For a fat man he could run pretty fast. The Vanir man was even faster. Sif seemed propelled by rage alone as her nose left a trail of blood in her wake.
"Come back here you coward!" She yelled. "To arms!" She yelled to a group of Einherjar.
"Oh great! Now the army is chasing us." Fandral said.
"This way!" Thor said and they turned right down an ally, only to come up against a wall of soldiers. Thor and Fandral screeched to a halt and spun on their heels to turn back.
"Shit! They gained on us." Fandral said. Sif was only a few strides behind him. The crowd of soldiers behind them was growing and soon they hit a dead end. They were at the steps of the palace, where they started. They ran up the dais and stood beside Mjolnir and turned to face the crowd. Fandral grabbed a big rock from some nearby bushes and held it aloft. The sound of dozens of swords unsheathing echoed in the night air. The wind was blowing hard and it began to rain. Above, the clouds circled like a miniature hurricane with an eye at the center. Thor's leg bumped into Mjolnir's handle and he heard the rock budge. He grabbed the handle and lifted it, holding it up in a stance to attack.
Everyone stopped advancing. Dozens of eyes locked onto him and Sif's mouth went agape. Thor felt it then, the surge, the power, the…
CRACK!
A bolt of lightning snaked down his body and he glowed with golden light. Magic armor encased him and a red cape grew out from his shoulders. The thunder rolled so loud it shook the air. It awoke the residents of the city, to include those in the royal apartments. Odin and Frigga rushed to their balcony to look outside. Loki likewise to his.
"Kneel!" Volstagg yelled. Everyone dipped to one knee, except for Sif. Volstagg had to grab her arm and tug her down. Fandral's rock slipped from his hand and he stood there gawking at him.
Thor felt transformed. He felt one with the wind, as though it were a lady whispering her intensions in his ear. And then he realized that Mjolnir was singing to him. It sounded like the lingering ring of a bell, and reminded him of the purr of a cat. He felt ancient seidr flowing through him, deep and primal.
Fandral took in the scene around him and realized his ass was still in a sling. "I'm with him." He said, and threw his arm around the heir presumptive.