I'm actually surprised that I've gotten this many followers and faves right now! Thank you guys! *hugs*

I don't own FNAF. Just the storyline and Baby.

As much as he disliked being trapped in Fazbear's pizzeria, Mike was at least grateful that he did get a decent bed to sleep in. Granted, it was a somewhat cheap mattress dressed in basic green sheets and nestled in a plain bedframe but at least it wasn't the floor. The only other furnishings in the room were a small white storage unit by his bed (empty) and an enormous beanbag chair lying in a corner, the kind that could swallow a small child in seconds.

The overhead light illuminated the taupe walls, which could've used a little TLC and the carpet which could use a vacuuming. Or three. The only thing decorating the walls was a poster featuring the killer quartet drawn with chubby proportions and sporting "trololol" faces (at least that's what Mike thought) and "Let's have fun!" arcing over them in canary yellow balloon lettering.

If I'd known I'd be stuck here for God knows how long, he thought as he turned over in bed, I would've brought along that book I meant to start… His eyelids drooped shut and he soon dozed off.

"Freddy!" Baby trilled towards the brown bear. "You have a question to answer!"

Fazbear perked up at this, wondering what it was all about.

"Hey Freddy! Bang, Marry, Kill: Foxy, Chica, Bonnie." –Consulting Whovian of Galifrey

Freddy's face scrunched up in confusion before uttering a flat "what?"

"Which one would you have sex with, which one would you marry and which one would you kill," Baby clarified.

The brown bear rested his chin in his hand and began thinking. "Well," he finally said. "I'd bang Chica-"

Chica practically spat out the soda she was drinking, leaving a sticky puddle on the table.

"-I'd marry Foxy since I really like him…"

Foxy's face actually turned a much deeper shade of red as a small smile exposed his fangs.

"-and kill Bonnie," Freddy concluded. "Even though he's the best guitarist we have."

Bonnie snorted in disbelief. "Puh-lease," he sighed. "This place has been closed for who knows how long. I don't miss performing for the little shits! They all just yammered loudly or tried to touch my feet and I could do jack about it!"

"You did snap at some kids for tossing their drinks at you once," Golden Freddy quietly mused. "Management didn't appreciate the lawsuit threats from the parents."

The purple rabbit whipped his head around and glared at Freddy's twin. "You shut your damn mouth!" he demanded. He slumped in his seat, swearing he could feel the sticky soda pop dry on his fur and hear one mom that she'd sue the place out of existence.

Baby smirked. "You can't exactly do much about your conditions while in the food industry," she commented. "Must keep the customers happy, even if it costs you some of your sanity."

She reached into her hat and pulled out another scrap of paper, quickly scanning over the words. Baby soon turned back towards the animatronics.

"Foxy, go summon Mike will you?"

It must have only been a few minutes since he fell asleep, but Mike swore that he heard metallic thumping growing louder as it reached his room. He tried to lull his brain back to sleep, dismissing it as a hallucination from… those days.

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG

Mike jolted, but his eyes were still bleary and his body paralyzed with fatigue. He didn't even call out for a name as he closed his eyes once more.

Outside the door, Foxy blinked in surprise. Pounding the door until it may as well have broken in two scared the daylights out of Mike when he was the night guy, but this time didn't even produce a scream, let alone a "SHIT!"

With a sigh, the pirate fox decided to jiggle the door knob and found that it wasn't even locked. With a smirk, he opened the door and tiptoed towards the bed where Mike was sleeping. Foxy leaned right into the human's ear and-

"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKK"

Mike's screams echoed throughout the pizzeria, briefly startling Freddy, Bonnie, Chica and Golden Freddy. Baby merely smiled and shook her head.

A few minutes later, Foxy appeared back in the dining room carrying Mike (with a look that seemed to say "Fuck my life") bridal style and seemed quite proud of himself.

"Please tell me you sent this asshat to scare me awake for a good reason," Mike muttered to himself.

Baby giggled. "It concerns you and Foxy," she chirped before reading the paper's contents out loud.

"Meki how you feel to be with them as they wanted to kill you. For all that piesan of Meki and Foxy fics" –GodOmegaZero

Mike wrenched himself from Foxy's grasp only to fall in a heap on the floor. He jolted upright and brushed himself off before glaring at Baby with feral eyes.

"THEY-" he rasped out with an accusatory finger pointed straight at them. "-are the bane of my life! I've had nightmares of Fazfuck stuffing me into a GODDAMN suit for who knows how long! I've had to see three. Different. Shrinks. And even then it's not enough to bleach their FACES out of my head! I can't even listen to music boxes the same way since ALL I HEAR is "Los Toreadors" playing on a motherfuckin' loop every single damn time in my head!"

Mike stopped his tirade with some heavy breathing and bloodshot eyes that could've pierced Baby's soul. If they did have an effect, she didn't show it.

"So I guess you don't appreciate stories of you and Foxy being together?" she asked.

The only response she got was Mike collapsing on the floor, followed by a breathless "Fuck me sideways…"

I still wonder how the night guards coped once their time at Fazbear's Pizzeria was done…

Leave your questions and dares in a review! Thanks for reading! *bows*