Of Fire

Chapter 7 – Headache

The early rays of the rising sun filtered through the deep red canopy. She groaned mentally, a sharp pain jabbing into her head. She winced at the sudden unexpected pain. Something was off, she realized it the instant the sleep-induced fog cleared from her mind. Her head pulsed almost violently as endless voices filled her head. Instinctively she placed her hands over her ears, curling into a fetal position. Though, it did nothing to stop the onslaught of voices, each new voice louder than the next. She wanted to scream but all that came out was a light whoosh of hair, her voice box producing no sound.

A knock came to her door, the sound vibrating into her head, increasing the pulsing and the sharp jabs. "Princess." A servant's voice. She knew this voice and focusing on it dulled the pain of the others. "Is she in there?" the words rung in her head, whether they were said or thought she couldn't tell. But they joined the endless others as they all crashed into focus like a tsunami. "Princess," The voice was closer this time "you'll be late."

Late. The word echoed in her mind, how it did that with the clutter of the other voices she didn't know. But she didn't care. She couldn't be late. Her mother would not approve if she was late. Bad things could happen if she was late. The covers over her head lifted from her, whether she did it herself or the servant did it she couldn't tell. She turned towards her window to judge the time and was sent reeling. Never had she hated the sun until that moment as its golden rays pierced her eyes like white-hot knives. The voices in her head grew louder as the spikes of white crashed into her eyes, lowering her defenses. The combination of the two blinded her for a moment longer than normal.

Vaguely she heard the servant sigh, "Come now, princess. It's not that bad."

She wanted to growl but instead set as still as possible as the servant dressed her, building the walls in her mind to keep out the voices. The servant lifted her from the bed and set her on her feet, a moment of vertigo causing her to stumbled backward. "Honestly," the servant thought, the sound jabbing into her defenses like a well placed ball of fire to a wall of ice. The walls tumbled down violently and she almost fell. "Your mother will come looking for you if you don't hurry."

With all the stability she could muster she nodded and made her way to the door. She knew she must hurry, but every step was shaky and her trek was slow. A hand on the wall guided her down the halls as she kept her eyes closed, mitigating the light from the rising sun somewhat. By the time she actually made it the training area, where the sun was at its brightest, her mother had been waiting for well over half an hour. "You're late." The accusation stabbed sharper than the other voices, causing her to jerk back in pain. "What took you?"

The question was met with silence as she tried to make coherent words form around the voices. It didn't work and the silence lingered. Her mother worried, though annoyance was the emotion that showed as the woman walked into the darker part of the arena where her daughter lingered. "Detia." her mother called softly, noticing the way the young child slouched and the paleness of her face.

A warm hand fell to Detia's cheek, a caress that eased the stabbing pain a little. Detia leaned into the touch and sighed lightly at the relief, as minimal as it was. "Are you alright?" the question cut through the endless voices.

She had to be alright, she could not show weakness. Her mother did not accept weakness or failure. Fighting for her strength the young girl nodded, ignoring the nausea and the faintness. She could not be weak. She simply could not. The sentence repeated itself, dulling the hundreds of meaningless voices. "Good. Then let's begin."

Again Detia nodded, following her mother into the sharp unforgiving rays of the sun. She winced and stumbled but her mother didn't see. Everything had been going so well. Detia had just turned two, her small birthday party – which consisted of only her parents, cousin, and aunt and uncle – had gone off without a hitch. This wasn't supposed to happen, whatever this was. Her mother was starting too actually like her, to openly show her affection. Their bond was just starting to grow strong. The Princess Azula did not tolerate weakness, everyone knew that. And whatever was going on was making her weak. Detia's golden eyes looked up at her mother, who continued to walk to the middle of the arena. If she knew how Detia was feeling right now what would she think? Would she hate her, again? Would she look at her in disapproval or disgust?

Detia did not want to find out. Their bond was still too fragile. She could not be weak.

They stopped in the middle of the arena and began their stretches. Azula kept a close eye on the little monster, watching her shift and wobble. Never had Azula seen Detia act in such a way. That alone made her worry. Ty Lee's words from earlier that week rang in her ears as she watched her daughter fight to stay upright. The acrobat worried that Azula hadn't been forthcoming with the change in her feelings towards their daughter, that Detia didn't know Azula loved her. At the time Azula had brushed the comment off and hadn't thought about it again until this moment. Maybe Ty Lee was right.

Azula sighed as Detia stumbled for the tenth time in two minutes. Clearly something was wrong with her little monster. For whatever reason, though, Detia was trying her hardest to fight it. Azula hated to think of what those reasons would be. It was common knowledge that Azula did not accept failure and weakness in those under her. But Detia was the exception. Not that Azula thought her daughter was a failure or weak. The girl was only two years old and practicing fire bending techniques Azula didn't learn until she was ten. Detia had nothing to prove to Azula. It appeared that Detia did not know this, however, and that would have to change.

Detia's head rested against her chest as she touched her toes. Vaguely, she noticed Azula stand straight, her perfectly manicured hands resting on her hips. "Detia." her mother's voice called softly. Detia continued her stretch until Azula's hand was on her shoulders forced her into an upright position. "Detia that's enough." Azula's voice was like a beacon of light in the dark ocean of voices, drawing Detia's glazed golden gaze to her. Azula knelt in front of her, her hands never leaving Detia's shoulders. "Tell me what's wrong."

Detia shook her head very slightly in the negative, finding that moving her head to quick would result in her head spinning. "No, something is clearly wrong."

Golden eyes focused momentarily on Azula's before they closed. 'Fine.' The one word rang in Azula's head.

Azula almost growled but caught herself. This was not the time to be angry but stern instead. "Don't lie to me. You can lie to anyone else but not to me."

Flinching at the tone Detia nodded, pressing her hands to her ears. 'So many.' She managed.

Confusion lit Azula's eyes. "So many?" She repeated.

At that moment dignitaries from the other countries entered the arena, given a tour by one of the servants. Azula's cold golden gaze glared at them as she growled. By this time she and Detia would be finishing up their training for the day, but that wasn't what made Azula angry. She just didn't like being interrupted.

Had Detia been in the frame of mind to read Azula's thoughts she would have agreed. However, the instant the dignitaries entered the arena their thoughts added to the wave of voices already in her head. Crumbling like sand her walls fell, her mind overloading and she broke. A scream echoed in Azula's head, snapping her attention to her daughter. Her grip tightened around the small frame of the child as young golden eyes rolled back and the two-year old body went limp. "Detia?" There was no answer.

For a second Azula panicked before forcing herself to remain calm. Easily, she picked her child up and walked out of the arena, forcing herself not to run. After all there were others in the area and running would undoubtedly cause a stir in them. So, she walked, albeit quickly but walked non-the-less. Thankfully by some miracle Azula managed to avoid bumping into Ty Lee. The acrobat did not need to see Detia in this state, at least not until Azula could explain what was going on. She made it to Detia's room in record time, noticing her daughter jerk every time the sun hit her face as she did.

Carefully, Azula placed Detia on the large bed and quickly pulled the curtains to the windows closed. Detia lay silently, her breathing coming in slow even gasps and for a moment Azula thought the child was sleeping. Azula moved closer to her child, vaguely thinking that the bed was far too large for such a small child. The crimson layers of silk seemed to almost consume Detia. On her way to the bed Azula bumped into a raggedy old stuffed kitten-owl. Well it use to be a kitten-owl, the wings had long since been removed. Probably an 'accident' produced by one of Ty Lee's sisters when the toy belonged to the acrobat. But it was one of Detia's favorites now and Detia hardly slept without it. Not that Detia would ever admit that.

Usually the stuffed animal was hidden under the covers, where no one could see it. It being on the floor worried Azula even more. Detia jerked and whimpered when Azula placed the toy beside her, increasing Azula's worry. She need to find a doctor, was the thought that came to her mind. And luckily she knew just where one was.

~x~

Mai lay on one of the couches in one of the sunrooms, a cup of warm tea sitting in a saucer not far away. A warm hand rested gently on her bulge. 'Only four more months to go,' she thought tiredly with a mental smile.

She was bigger this time than she was with her son. But the doctor had informed that that wasn't unusual and neither was the fatigue and forgetfulness and increased appetite. Said doctor was sitting in a chair across from her, smiling and laughing with her husband. Honestly, she didn't dislike her doctor or the wet nurse. But she wasn't stupid and this wasn't her first pregnancy. She had felt two set of small feet kicking inside her. She knew, no matter how much the doctor tried to deny it, that there were two lives growing inside her. The doctor had only heard one heartbeat then promptly assured her that most expecting mothers at one point or another in their pregnancy worried about having twins.

The Fire Lady had only rolled her eyes, she wasn't making this up. She sighed lightly, once she gave birth to twins that would show them. Idiots. Still, she wished her pregnancy was as easy as Ty Lee's had been. Luck was not on her side in that manner, Mai was still reeling from morning sickness and walking down the hall seemed to be a daunting task and oh by the spirits she hated it. To make matters worse (or better depending on how she felt that day) Zuko was always hovering nearby. He was such a mother hen. She was pregnant, not invalid, even if she was ordered to partial bed rest.

One of the twins kicked and Zuko's smile softened but he continued to converse with the doctor. Mai had long since stopped listening and really wanted to take a nap. The doctor was giving them a verbal list of what Mai should and should not do. No strenuous activity (duh), lots of sleep (if he'd leave she'd get right to it), No alcohol or any kind of smoking drug (she didn't like those anyways), eat plenty healthy foods and not to worry about any stretch marks (not that she had any, thanks to the many days spent in the royal spa).

She was almost relieved when Azula burst into the room, not bothering to knock. Not that Azula ever bothered to knock. "Azula." Mai addressed lightly in her deadpan way, not failing to notice that Azula was still dressed in her training clothes.

The Fire Lady looked out the window. From the position of the sun, Azula should have stopped training her daughter for the day and be in her normal royal attire. "Mai." Azula responded and turned her attention to the doctor.

Just as she opened her mouth to speak Zuko interrupted her. "Azula, what's the meaning of this?"

Azula growled as her hard golden eyes glared at her brother. "Detia collapsed for no reason that I can see." She informed.

"You've been training her to hard. She's only two." Zuko remarked, still somewhat sore over the incident with Detia when she was one.

Mai could see it in Azula's eyes and posture. Azula wanted nothing more than to attack her brother. "We had just started stretching. Her training hadn't even started yet, which she was late for."

The other three adults grimaced at that last statement. Everyone knew what type of person Azula was and tardiness was unacceptable, especially from her daughter. The doctor stood immediately, "Where is she? I'll see if I can help."

Mai gave a sigh of relief as Azula lead the doctor out of the room. "Finally, I thought he'd never leave." Zuko looked at her with a forced smile, clearly worried about his niece. Mai sighed again. "Go after them, Zuko. You know you want to. I'll be fine and trust me, I'm not moving anywhere."

The Fire Lord smiled lovingly at his wife and stood, kissing her softly and telling her that he loved her before following the doctor and Azula.

~x~

Azula lay on her side on Detia's bed, her child laying calmly beside her. The doctor had been useless, at least in her opinion. He said he thought she was suffering from extreme exhaustion but every time a word left his or Zuko's mouth Detia would flinch. Then of course things got worse when Ty Lee found out. The acrobat was a mix of fury and concern, which of course she didn't hesitate to voice and every time her voice raised Detia would whimper and flinch. The instant Azula pointed this out to her wife Ty Lee calmed down, though it took a good ten minutes. Once the acrobat calmed and had time to think on the things she had accused Azula of doing to their daughter she promptly apologized, kissing the princess several times to help get her point across.

It had been a day since then, making this day two that Detia had been 'asleep'. Detia had been still, aside from her breathing, for more than six hours. Ty Lee spent most of her time with Detia and though Azula hated it she had to continue her role as Zuko's head advisor. Every spare moment she had found her in her daughter's room. This was one of those moments. Mai had pulled Ty Lee away from the room an hour ago, telling Ty Lee that the very pregnant Fire Lady needed help with something or another. Azula wasn't listening, not really, but from what she heard she was sure Mai would later regret letting Ty Lee help decorate the baby's room. It was an obvious lie, anyways, but Ty Lee was tired with worry and followed with only a little complaining. Leaving Azula with Detia.

Azula placed a large warm hand on her daughter's chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breathe. With all the amazing things the little monster could do it was easy to forget that she was only a little girl, no more than a toddler. Hard golden eyes became vacant as Azula thought over her actions for the past year. The going had been slow with bonding with her daughter, she realized. Yes, she loved Detia but she never did show it physically. Not like she should have. She reasoned in the past year that Detia was smart and could read minds so surely she knew how Azula felt.

Ty Lee was always open with her emotions. There was no doubt to anyone that the acrobat simply adored the little girl, would do anything for her. The same could not be said about Azula, and Azula knew it. The princess knew that people still questioned her consanguinity to Detia. She heard it enough from the nobles and the servants when they thought she wasn't listening. Most of the time they were discreet about their gossip but other times not so much. Thinking about it, Azula realized that she really gave them no reason to think anything else. In the public eye she was the same princess she had been during the war. No one saw or noticed how her expression softened just a bit when her daughter entered the room. No one saw the pride shinning her hard golden eyes as she watched Detia practice.

Still, she wondered how much of what Detia heard, or overheard as may be the case, she believed. The princess knew first hand that if you heard something enough eventually you started to believe it. A warm hand brushed along Detia's cheek gently, smiling when the little monster sighed happily. Almost impulsively Azula leaned over and kissed her daughter's temple.

Detia's eye fluttered open for a second before she turned on her side and curled up to Azula. The princess gasped lightly before wrapping her arms around the little girl. "Are you awake?" the little girl shook her head no, making Azula chuckle. "What happened the other day?"

'Other day?' Detia questioned, the sleepy haze clearly showing through her thoughts.

Azula ran her hand through soft short white hair. "This is the second day you've been asleep."

'Oh.' Was the only thing Detia said, her tone still very sleepy.

"So, what happened?" Azula tried again, vaguely aware that the repetitive stroking motion of her hand was putting her child back to sleep.

'Everybody was thinking at the same time. I couldn't handle it.' Detia answered honestly, if not a bit meekly.

Azula paused for a moment before pushing her little monster back just enough to look in her in the eye. The silence prevailed. Suddenly, Azula set up, dragging the little girl with her. "Come on, sit up."

Detia did as she was told, her mother's hands lingering on her arms. It took much doing to drive away the sudden dizziness from sitting up. She fought it, the strain visible on her youthful face. A thumb pressed against one of the strain lines at her brow. "You don't have to do that." Azula assured, smoothing out the line. Confused innocent golden eyes turned up to her as the thumb moved down to caress her cheek. "You don't have to be strong. You don't have to fight like this. If you're not feeling well you don't have to force yourself. I won't be mad or disappointed."

Detia's golden eyes looked down in embarrassment at being caught. 'You…you promise?'

Azula pulled her little monster into a warm embrace, forcing the tears back. She didn't realize how much it would hurt her to hear Ty Lee's words proven true. "By the spirits, I swear." She pulled away, a single finger lifting Detia's chin before the child could look down – a gentle gesture that contrasted greatly with Azula's suddenly stern expression. Detia only glanced up for a second before casting her eyes down again. "Look at me." Again Detia did as she was told. "I love you. No matter what anyone tells you or you over hear I love you. You're my daughter, my little monster." Detia's small hands balled up, fighting the urge to bit her lips. "You don't have to be strong. You have nothing to prove to me."

Within seconds she found the two-year old in her arms, clinging to her tunic as tears rolled down her cheeks. Azula wrapped her arms around the little girl once again, kissing the top of her head. Right at that moment she vowed to not be like her father or her mother. Her daughter was not a weapon, was not a tool to be used and thrown away, and she most defiantly was not a monster to be avoided and scorned. Her daughter deserved more than what she got.

Things would be different. She was not her father. 'I love you too.' Detia responded hesitantly.

Azula's grip tightened as the words rang lightly in her head. For what felt like forever they stayed in that position, until Azula gave one final squeeze and let her go. "Okay, that's enough. I still have a reputation to maintain." She sighed and looked sternly at her daughter. "I do not want a repeat of what happened." Detia nodded, acting as if she was being properly chastised. "This means if things get to hard or you're not feeling well you will tell me." Again Detia nodded. "Also," she pulled the stuffed animal from under the covers. Detia blushed and looked down at her hands when she realized what it was her mother was holding. "This is not something you should be ashamed of." She handed the little kitten to her daughter.

"Detia?" Ty Lee's astonished voice called lightly from the door, turning mother and daughter's attention to that direction. "You're okay?" Detia nodded with a smile and before she realized what was going her mommy had her in the air and in her arms in seconds. "I was so worried. We were all so worried."

'I'm okay.' Detia replied, holding tight to her mommy.

Ty Lee placed her daughter back on the bed, smoothing out her hair as she kissed her forehead several times. "What happened? The doctor said you were exhausted."

Detia smiled softly. 'The voices were too much. It was like I was suddenly hearing everyone at the same time.'

"I see." Ty Lee said, though the explanation clearly baffled her. She shrugged it off easily enough and picked Detia up again, hugging her tight. "As long as you're okay now." Ty Lee stopped. "You are okay now, right?"

Detia nodded, glancing back at her mother. 'I'm okay now.'

~x~

It was early morning, like it usually was when Azula practice, the sun barely over the horizon. The princess suppressed a yawn as she made her way to the training area. A slight smile tugged at her lips, Ty Lee had kept her busy all night long. She sighed lightly, she really loved those long nights. The servants who passed, which weren't many considering how early it was, could tell that The Princess was in a better mood than normal but none of them said one word to Azula. For her part, Azula didn't even notice them pass.

She stopped as she entered the arena, hiding the smirk on her face at the sight before her. "Detia." Azula called, grabbing the attention of the two-year old child who was sitting on the ground meditating.

'Yes' Detia answered, opening her eyes as her mother approached.

"What are you doing here?" The princess inquired.

Detia stood with a lifted eyebrow. 'We usually practice this early, don't we?'

"Well yes. But are you feeling well enough to practice today?" with her concerns voiced Detia smiled.

'I'm fine. I'll tell you if I've had too much. But I don't think it'll be a problem.' Detia assured.

Azula looked skeptical. "You're sure?" Detia nodded as pride blossomed in Azula's chest. She sighed dramatically, "Alright. Let's get started."

TBC