Kuroko smelled it first before he even saw it.
Granted, the students running the opposite way with noses and mouths covered by handkerchiefs was a dead giveaway. There might be a fire going on, what with another student rushing to the scene with a fire hydrant, but that was beside the point.
A few meters in front of him was rainbow colored smoke.
A student stumbled near him and Kuroko tried to balance the freshman. The kid nearly had a heart attack from the sudden contact but thanked Kuroko profusely.
"What's going on?" Kuroko asked.
The freshman looked back to the now pinkish smoke. "Acids mixing with the wrong acids. The chemistry club accidentally put the wrong hair samples together with chloride solutions among others. We didn't think that it would make such a," and here the student paused to find the right word to describe the catastrophe behind him, "…colourful reaction," he finished lamely.
Kuroko felt his eyebrow twitch minutely. "That was bad," he said frankly.
The kid shrugged, "I learned from the worst. My brother isn't exactly the best puns role model."
Kuroko shook his head. "Never mind that. What did you mean by 'hair samples'?" Kuroko had a sneaking suspicion about what hair samples meant. After all, coloured fire is swell and all, but smoke? Rainbow coloured smoke? Now something's fishy about it.
The freshman laughed nervously, "We might have stolen some hair strands from students with just as colourful, um… personalities?" The kid tried to look innocent but utterly failed.
Kuroko knew that the only group of people with abnormal hair colours was the Kiseki no Sedai. Kuroko looked back at the smoke to find it green – in the exact shade of Midorima's hair. Suffice to say, he was impressed.
But then the fire turned red.
Sure, red was not a rare hair colour, but they were in Japan for milkshake's sake. Asians don't just get red hair without European blood. (Neither do they usually get baby blue hair, European or not, but that was beside the point). Either way, there was only one person in the school that has that shade of blood red hair.
Akashi freaking Seijuro.
The chemistry club stole hair from the self-proclaimed emperor of the basketball club and school. Kuroko did not know whether he should be in awe or to fear for their lives.
The freshman saw the dawning realization on his senpai's face. "Cool, right?" he grinned.
Kuroko was speechless. Speechless in the way that he literally can't say anything in fear for his sanity. His brain and voice box abandoned him, it seemed.
The smoke turned baby blue.
Kuroko felt his eyebrow twitch again. 'How did they…?'
The freshman looked back at the smoke and saw what the senior was staring at. "Oh," he said flatly then laughed nervously again. "Do you want to sign up for the chemistry club?"
The senior sighed. "You know what? I don't want to know."
Then Kuroko hightailed out of there. He did not want to be at the crime scene when Akashi shows up and demand answers.
Kuroko walked for a long time when he finally reached another club room. He read the poster next to the door. "Robotics Club," it said. Kuroko shrugged; how bad can it be? He doubted that another club could be as stalkerish as the chemistry club. He entered the room.
Kuroko regretted everything that he previously thought. It was worse.
It was not bad in the way that the members suck at robotics, no, it was the exact opposite. They were brilliant. Kuroko wasn't surprised that they had won multiple national robotics contests over the years.
But that did not mean that they had an acute awareness of their less than stellar people skills.
"Ah, you're Kuroko Tetsuya-senpai? You're the one kicked out of the basketball club, yes? Are you here to be spared the humiliation of having to be clubless in an institution full of them?" the bespectacled girl asked.
Kuroko barely stopped the urge to walk out of the room. 'How rude,' he thought.
"Yes, I am Kuroko Tetsuya" 'I haven't even introduced myself; how did you know?' "No, I was not kicked out of the team; I resigned from it. Yes, I want to be a member of a club. No, I do not feel any humiliation at being… 'clubless'" Kuroko barely managed to keep his eyebrow twitching for the third time. Also, how did she even know that he was from the basketball team? Much less important enough that she took note of his being "ousted" from the club? It wasn't a secret, per se, but he was not exactly famous in the school since he didn't socialize much with those outside the ALS curriculum. So, how? Kuroko mentally shook his head. There are some things better left unexplained.
The girl's eyes suddenly lit up. "How did you do that?"
Kuroko raised an eyebrow. "Do what?"
"That!" the girl gushed, "The barely-showing-any-form-of-self-expression thing. How did you do that?!"
Kuroko did not know what to say. "… Why do you ask?"
"Oh, we want to make this robot, see, that also shows human facial expression. We can't make it suddenly be able to make a full blown smile or smile because that would ruin the process; we have to take 'baby steps'," the junior made air quotations on this. "Normally, we wouldn't care one whit about 'baby steps'" again with the air quotations, "but we do like challenges so we accepted it. Now, would you be as kind and be our model?" the junior smiled hopefully at him.
Kuroko's brain abandoned him yet again. First honor ALS student he might be, but he simply could not process what the girl gushed out. "Um, what?" he said eloquently.
The girl rolled her eyes while crossing her arms. "Would. You. Be. Our. Model?" she said, stressing every word like they were individual sentences – or like she was speaking to a toddler.
An almost twitch yet again. 'Rude. Very rude,' he thought once more. "No," he answered flatly.
"Oh, come on! Don't be a spoilsport," the girl whined, "It would be fun!"
"I don't know about that," Kuroko answered in a strained voice. He could literally see the girl with her cronies – 'fellow club members,' Kuroko's conscience corrected. It was not nice to be rude, even if it was true and not spoken out loud – invading his personal space every day for the rest of the school and making him do unspeakable things like making constant facial expressions. No, not happening.
"No," Kuroko repeated.
"How rude," tsked the girl while narrowing her eyes.
'At least the freshman from earlier wasn't as pushy,' Kuroko thought, nearly reaching the end of his patience. That was when he thought of something absolutely brilliant. He had to stop himself from smiling, thus giving himself away.
"You know," Kuroko said slowly to the junior, "I do know some people who are excellent in making minute facial expressions."
The girl immediately perked up. "Really?! Who?"
Kuroko sighed faux dreamily, "The Kiseki no Sedai of course! They're my heroes in minute self-expression. You should see them on the job; they're really really good at it!" He was laying it on thick, but he didn't care. He just wanted to be as far away as possible from this place.
"Really?!" she said excitedly.
"Really really." Kuroko forced a small grin on his face. He wanted to puke.
She giggled in anticipation, "Do you know where they are right now?"
"Well, I can't be so sure," Kuroko drawled out, "But you might find them in the first string gym."
"I must tell kurabu kaichō!" she exclaimed. She very nearly bolted when she turned to Kuroko at the last minute. "Do you have any advice for us?"
"Hmm," Kuroko pretended to think, "Ah! When you… interview them, it's best to do it when they're all together. And bring lots of cameras for future reference. They're highly photogenic and they would love another 'interview' if you also place your self within their personal spaces."
The junior squealed. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Kuroko smiled genuinely this time. "It's no problem. But if you please not mention my name to them? I'm a bit shy." Kuroko wanted to gag at his last sentence.
"I see," she grinned, "Oh, but do you still want to be a member? I'm afraid the slots are full but I might be able to ask kaichō to make an exception –"
Kuroko chuckled nervously, "No, that's alright. I don't want to make you go any trouble. I might lend a hand when you might need it." 'I would want to think that that would be never.'
"Is that so?" she actually looked dejected but immediately brightened up again. "I must thank you then, on behalf of my club. Do you want anything in return for your help? Food and refreshment perhaps?"
Kuroko grinned. "Oh, there is something…"
Five minutes later, Kuroko was sipping on a large vanilla milkshake and a pocket full of the drink's coupons from a convenience store nearby.
'I might get used to this,' Kuroko hummed happily.
"I beg your pardon? An interview?" cue camera flash.
Akashi barely managed to keep up his polite persona in the company of the girl and her fellow robotics club members. She nodded vigorously while inching very close to the basketball club president. Akashi kept his composure as he gave a strained smile. He could not say the same for his star players though.
("Please get away from me," Aomine nearly begged the freshman desperately trying to get close to him. Momoi berated him for being rude even as she tried to stop her giggles. Another student caught picture after picture of him. "Would you cut that out?!"
Kise was soaking the attention at first but started to get antsy from the constant press of bodies to him. "Ah ha ha… could you please, um, move a little ways away from me?"
Murasakibara's death glare did not manage to make the juniors get away from him and his snacks, much to his displeasure. They also did not stop picturing him.
Two freshmen looked apprehensive near Midorima. Said bespectacled senior raised an eyebrow. "I'm allergic to human touch as well as cameras, but Kise would highly appreciate the contact."
"Midorimacchi!")
"Hai! Oh, well no. We need your first string players to model for our club," she said excitedly.
"Model?!" Aomine exclaimed in horror from where Momoi and he were arguing about his manners while Midorima nearly spat out the water he was drinking.
"You want us to model?!" Kise asked brightly.
The girl scrutinized the blonde. "No, not you. You're not cut out for it."
Kise's mouth dropped open while the others were just as surprised. "I'm not?" he asked blankly, too shocked to make any inflection to his words.
"Nope," she said, popping the 'p' while trying to get closer to Akashi, who was inching away very slowly. "You show too many facial expressions."
Akashi raised an eyebrow, "Pray tell then, what are your qualifications in choosing your… models?"
The junior giggled, "Well, that's very easy! We need you to make very little facial expressions!"
"What?" Akashi asked blankly, admittedly dumbfounded. The girl caught another photo.
She nodded again, "A very helpful source told us about your way of minute self-expression that is very inspirational for him. So do you want to model or not?"
Midorima hid a smile as he watched the others get increasingly uncomfortable with the continued contact of the robotics members. 'That Kuroko…'