I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, SO… sorry. For both the facts that I haven't updated in forever, and that this isn't a chapter. Just another filler. I'm having the writer's block of the millennium. Most times the chapter's story lines just come to me. But, now, I've got diddly squat going on in my brain. So to pass the time, I created this. So again, I am so sorry I've been taking so long. It's been rude of me. I do not own Red Vs. Blue or Halo. Nor am I getting paid to write my crappie stories.

Two weeks before The Meta comes

All was well in Blood Gulch Out Post Alpha. The eternal sun was shining, Command sent in more cases of beer, and Church slipped five sleeping pills into Caboose's orange juice so it was quiet. And to top it all off, Sister was sun bathing on the top of Blue Base, so Church and Tucker were watching her lay there in only her bra and underwear. A bit of drool came out of Tucker's mouth when she began to eat her chocolate covered strawberries that Command had sent in. Yep, life was tolerable in the Blood Gulch that day. All in all, things could be worse. The other ladies of the blue team were down in the base, trying to entertain themselves. However, their attempts became fruitless.

"Dear Gød, I'm so freaking bored!" Tex yelled into a pillow.

"Then go read a book." Taylor replied.

"There are only so many books here. And I've read them all." Tex yelled back. "What are the guys doing?"

"Doc is baby sitting, Caboose is asleep still, Sister is sunbathing, and Church and Tucker are watching her sunbath." Taylor answered. "Ya know, we really should see if Caboose is still alive. He's been asleep for thirty two hours."

"We'll do that some other time." Tex said. "Tell me what to do!"

"You could always put on your Sunday best and open an umbrella and skip around out side." Taylor said. Tex took her face out of the pillow and looked at Taylor. And if looks could kill, Taylor would be bleeding of the floor screaming in pain.

"Get serious here." Tex said.

"Well, we could actually try to fight the Reds today. Or we could annoy Tucker and Church." Taylor came up with.

"Now you're speaking my language kid." Tex said with a grin.

"Okay, here's what we do…" Taylor started.

-Some time later-

"Okay, Commencing Phase One of Insanity." Taylor said.

Taylor and Tex crept over to Jr. who was sleeping and gently woke him. Tex showed him a giant gallon of blood and Jr. nearly got it if it weren't for Taylor holding him back.

"Not yet you little mutant you. You'll get your food if you do a little job for us." Tex said.

"Blarg?" Jr. said confusingly.

"We need you to follow your uncle Church around for a while. Can you do that?" Tex asked.

"Blarg!" Jr. said happily.

"Okay, I'm going to take that as a yes. So go get started." Taylor said as she let him go. Jr. walked out of the base and began his part of their plan.

-Twenty minutes of following later-

"Gød damnit!" Church yelled at Jr. "Cut the crap and stop following me! You stupid piece of-"

"Church! Shut the fuck up and quit yelling at Jr.!" Tucker yelled at him. Tucker picked up his kid and walked away with him.

"Gød damnit! That thing never quits!" Church said as he sat down next to Tex.

"You know, from past observations, I can guess why he's following you." Tex said coyly.

"Oh really? Why?" Church asked.

"I think Jr. is in love with you and wants to impregnate you so you can have his alien baby." Tex said with a smug face underneath her helmet.

For a long while, Church didn't say anything. At first, Tex thought the plan failed. That is, until Church got up, grabbed his shot gun and began to walk away.

"Where're you going?" Tex asked.

"To go kill that spawn child." Church replied as he walked away.

-Later-

"I must admit, my favorite part was when Tucker and Church began to argue whether or not Jr. was gay." Tex said laughing.

"Yeah, that was fun. Okay. Time for Phase two." Taylor said.

"Yeah, about that. What was it again?" Tex asked.

"Fine, I'll repeat it. But you better remember it." Taylor said.

-Later-

"Hey Tucker!" Taylor yelled.

"Yeah what?" Tucker yelled back.

"Vic says he has an important message for you." Taylor replied loudly.

"What's the message?" Tucker asked.

"Something about the sniper rifle you ordered. I don't know. You'll have to ask him your self." Taylor answered.

"Kick ass! I'll call him now!" Tucker yelled. What he didn't know was that Vic was on vacation and all calls would go straight to voice mail. His freakishly long voice mail.

"While he is busy, time to commence Phase three." Taylor said. "You're up Tex."

"Got it." Tex said as she walked over to Church and sat down next to him.

"Church, I no longer harbor feelings for you." Tex says bluntly.

"Wait, wha-" Church didn't finish his question before Tex interrupted.

"I think I'm going to start dating Caboose. I don't know why, but I find his idiocy quite cute and charming. It's quite attractive." Tex said matter of factly.

"You're fucking with me, right?" Church asked hopefully.

"No I'm dead serious. His stupidity is very sexy at times." Tex said in a seductive voice. "Anyway, I'm going to go wake Caboose up. See you around Church." Tex began to walk away. Church was very shocked at what just happened.

"What?" Church said in sad voice. Little did he know that Taylor was at the top of the base recording the entire thing. Taylor giggled silently as she watched Church through the lens die inside. She turned off the camera and went inside the base.

From a long distance away, she could hear Tucker yell, "There is no eleven you FUCKING WHORE!"

"Oh this is fun." Taylor said. "Tex! Is Caboose awake yet? It's time for the Final Phase."

"Yep." Tex yelled back. Taylor walked into Caboose's room and sat on his bed.

"Hey Caboose. Do you know what day it is today?" Taylor asked him.

"Nope." Caboose said.

"It's 'Be with your Best Friend all Day' day." Taylor said gleefully.

"It is?" Caboose asked happily.

"Yes it is. Now you have to spend all day with Church and be best friends with him. And since Tucker doesn't have someone to spend this special day with, you should be his best friend too." Tex said.

"But I don't like Tucker." Caboose said.

"Nobody does. But he doesn't want to be alone on this joyous of days. Just try." Tex replied.

"Okay. Thanks pretty ladies." Caboose said as he jumped off his bed to go find Church.

"Today was fun." Tex said.

"It was, wasn't it?" Taylor replied. "Now come help me."

"With what?" Tex asked as they left Caboose's room.

"I want to send this tape of you and Church to the Reds." Taylor said grinning. Tex placed her arm around Taylor's shoulder and said something she thought she'd never say.

"Keep this up kid, you and me are going to get along fine." Tex stated.

"Caboose, GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" They heard Church yell. They both began to laugh.

So that's that. Hope you guys liked it. I'll keep trying to write the final chapter. So just hang in there. Reviews mean a lot to me so please tell me what you think.