A/N: Holy crap, I am SO sorry about the epic hiatus, everybody. Stupid college, I blame it for all of my problems. But it's summer now, meaning there's nothing coming between me and my writing – except, y'know, my job.

––

Mustard Mines

11:24 pm

"WAHOO!" Mario cheered, performing a superpowered Spin Jump on yet another hapless Mouser thief and finishing him off. "Now these are some nice boots! I could definitely get used to this!"

"Awesome! That's eight Gold Nuggets we've rescued already!" Hanner beamed.

"Yeah, but we have to keep hurrying," Mario reminded her, dusting himself off. "These guys could clear out of here at any time with the rest of the gold. Especially if they get word that we're all down here."

"Well, I don't reckon this feller's in any condition to go rattin' us out," Snatchel laughed.

"Urgh… where are the pineapples, Mommy?" slurred the dazed and badly beaten Mouser.

After that encounter, the band of heroes continued traipsing through the mines. As Snatchel explained to the others, this area of the mines consisted of three main floors, each one containing what felt like dozens of snaking tunnels. There were Mousers patrolling everywhere, but Mario's team made fast work of all of them.

After clearing out the top floor, they walked down a spiraling path to the second floor and were immediately greeted with a familiar sight.

"Oh, Mario, look! It's another star thing!" Stubba cheered, racing up to the group of glittering sparkles hanging in the air.

"Wow. How'd that little fella get all the way down here?" Mario wondered.

Goomblaine rolled his eyes. "Who cares?"

Snatchel started blinking furiously as Mario briefly flipped sideways and reappeared with the Luma in his hands. "Just what the heck is that thing?"

"Oh, don't worry, you'll find out soon enough," the plumber replied with a grin, recalling that Snatchel was his only partner who still had to be leveled up. The sheriff just shook his head, looking rather nonplussed that the others knew something about this place that he didn't.

––

Unfortunately, Mario had been right to worry about the Mousers getting word of their arrival. While they cornered a few more of the thieves and had Snatchel (however reluctantly) steal the gold back from them, two other Mousers were silently watching them from the shadows and were deep in discussion.

"This ain't no good! The sheriff and his pals are makin' off with all our loot!" one of them complained. "At this rate we'll be flat broke before long! We gotta do somethin'!"

"Eh, we shoulda known better to put all our eggs in one basket like that," the second one grumbled. "But they ain't gettin' their paws on any more of our gold if I got somethin' to say about it. Listen up, I got a plan."

––

"And that, Stubba, is why you don't put anything you find down here in your mouth," Mario admonished as the group traveled down the main tunnel.

"Aww, but it looked so shiny and tasty," the little Clubba sighed.

"ALL RIGHT, SHERIFF! You and yer friends are outta luck!" bellowed the Mouser as both of them leapt in Mario's way, causing him to skid to a stop in shock. "We ain't hidin' no more gold where you can just nab it back! This time we stashed it real good!"

"Oh, what're you rascals goin' on about this time?" Snatchel growled, obviously starting to lose his patience.

"You just wait! I reckon you ain't never gonna figure out where we hid the rest of it!" the Mouser cackled, and he and his companion scampered gleefully off before Mario's party could react.

"Okayyyy… what was their problem?" Hanner wondered.

"Well, we should've known this would happen," Mario sighed. "All right, guys, we're going to have to really book it if we want to find the rest of the gold. Now where would the Mousers hide it?"

"Oh, man, I dunno… maybe under that giant red X on the ground?" Goomblaine snapped at him.

"Huh?" Mario blinked in confusion, looked ahead and realized that there was indeed a large red X painted on the ground a few yards up the tunnel.

"They can't possibly be that stupid… can they?" he wondered, walking up to it. But sure enough, as he performed a Spin Jump on top of the X, a floor panel came flipping up and out flew a Gold Nugget.

"Well, there's yer answer," Snatchel said with a smirk.

"What? Oh, come on, how'd you figure it out?" whined a voice from behind them. Mario and the others turned around and realized the Mousers had been watching them this whole time.

"You moron! How d'you think they figured it out?" the other Mouser snapped, smacking his partner. "And why the heck did ya mark the ground where we hid the Nuggets?"

"…So we'd remember where we put 'em?" the first Mouser replied lamely.

The other Mouser groaned and shook his head. "We still ain't done here, Sheriff! We'll be back, just you wait!" And he grabbed his partner and dragged him back down the tunnel.

"…I'm not sure whether to find this amusing or sad," Mario said after a moment.

––

They found several more Nuggets that way, with Mario Spin Jumping whenever there was an X on the ground. As they kept plowing through the mines, though, they eventually found themselves at a dead end. The small tunnel they'd gone down ended in a steep ledge, with one of the Nuggets sitting on the other side of a large chasm.

"Ha ha! Whadda you fellers make a' this?" jeered one of the Mousers, who were standing on the other side next to the Nugget. "I'd like to see ya try and get all the way over here! Looks like we win this round!"

Snatchel gave them a strange look. "Yer jokin', right?" He twirled his lasso and shot it across the gap, roping the Nugget and pulling it back without breaking a sweat.

The Mouser blinked in shock several times before he seemed to realize what had happened.

"Shooooooooot!" he bellowed, spinning around and violently kicking the wall. "Dangit, Sheriff! I swear you ain't gettin' away with this! You can't outsmart us forever!"

"I reckon we don't have to. That was only a few minutes," Snatchel replied with a grin. Mario burst out laughing while Hanner and Stubba started making faces at the rodents.

The Mouser's eye started twitching. "All right, that does it!" he snapped. "I didn't wanna do this, but you forced us into it! No matter how clever you and yer pals think you are, we still got somethin' you don't!"

"And what's that? A wicked case a' body odor?" the sheriff joked, clearly having the time of his life.

"No! What we got is – " The Mouser suddenly pulled out a large box with a handle set into it. " – a whole heckload a' DYNAMITE!"

Mario and the others immediately stopped laughing. "Oh, son of a – " Mario muttered, growing deathly pale.

"Ha ha! EAT THIS!" the Mouser shrieked, pushing down on the handle.

"RUN FOR IT, FELLERS!" Snatchel screamed, but it was too late. A deafening explosion burst through the tunnel, hurling Mario and his partners backwards and sending them crashing to the ground. As the enormous plume of red smoke rushed by them and nearly suffocated them, the ceiling began to crumble and collapse all around them.

"The whole tunnel's caving in!" Hanner cried in a panic.

"I dunno about you losers, but I'm gettin' outta here!" Goomblaine shouted, jumping to his feet and racing down the tunnel. Mario and the others took off after him as fast as they could, but the collapsing tunnel threatened to catch up to them in a matter of seconds.

"Guys! Down this way!" Mario alerted them, making a hard right and dashing down an adjacent tunnel. His partners all followed after him, and not a moment too soon. The instant they were all together, the ceiling caved in directly behind them, blocking off the exit and trapping them.

"Oh, no!" Stubba cried. "Mario, Mario, we're stuck! We can't get back out!"

"Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh…" Hanner whimpered, biting her nails.

"Hey, now, calm down, both of ya!" said Snatchel. "I'm the sheriff here, and I say when we panic. Now let's just follow this here tunnel and see where it goes."

He turned around to do just that, only to see it led to a dead end approximately ten feet away.

"…All right, I reckon we can panic now."

"Hmm…" The gears were slowly turning in Mario's mind. "Not yet, we can't. I have an idea. Everybody get in close."

His partners turned and saw him pull out the Aeon Hourglass, and immediately understanding, rushed over to him. Just because the tunnel had collapsed here didn't mean it collapsed in the other half of the world, right?

"Here goes nothing," Mario muttered, turning the hourglass over. All five of them disappeared in a flash.

––

Mustard Mines

11:39 am

As the light faded away, Mario and the others looked around and sighed in relief. As they were underground, there was obviously nothing to indicate it was now daylight out except for the lanterns burning more brightly – but more importantly, the tunnel here was completely intact and their exit was clear.

"That's a mighty fine hourglass a' yers, Mario," Snatchel remarked fondly as they walked back out.

––

Eventually the group arrived at another spiraling path that led them down to the third and bottom floor of the mines. By now the air was almost unbearably stuffy and the temperature was dangerously high, but still Mario's intrepid team made their way through.

"Okay, how many was that?" Goomblaine groaned after Snatchel had roped another Nugget from a ledge out of their reach.

"That was twenty-nine… only one left," Mario replied, languidly wiping the sweat off his forehead. "Although… something's bothering me, guys. We've gone through this whole place, and we still haven't found the Sun Soul anywhere."

"Man, I almost forgot that's why we came here in the first place," Hanner admitted sheepishly.

"No doubt them Mousers found it already," Snatchel sighed as he walked along. "Just another reason fer us to beat 'em. Those good-fer-nothin' rodents don't even know what that thing really is. Just thinkin' about it bein' in their grubby little mitts… I can't hardly stand it."

Mario glanced sideways at the sheriff. He seemed strangely worried about the fate of the Sun Soul. Deep down, did he already know…?

"Uh oh… what's this?" asked Hanner, snapping Mario back to attention. He turned and looked; the tunnel they were walking down had suddenly opened up into a huge, wide cavern, with the ground dropping out and descending into blackness not too far in front of them. Running through the cavern and spanning the seemingly bottomless drop were a series of mine tracks.

"Oh, just terrific. Now what?" Goomblaine growled.

"Well, this is the only part of the mines we haven't explored yet… looks like we'll have to cross through here somehow," Mario decided. "And I think I know how."

He walked up to a large mine cart that was sitting on the tracks right in front of them. Luckily, it looked big enough to fit all of them.

"You're kidding, right?" Hanner asked nervously.

"That doesn't look very safe," Stubba protested, still staring at the bottomless pit.

"Guys, we don't have a choice," Mario sighed. "Besides, they wouldn't have put this thing here if it weren't safe for people to use. Right, Snatchel?"

"Well, actually, there've been quite a few complaints about safety code violations in this place – "

"Okay, forget it. Just get in, everybody."

"Wait a sec. We can't use this thing anyway," Goomblaine pointed out. "The tracks go to a dead end."

"Huh?" Mario looked up and saw Goomblaine was right. Just after the floor dropped out, there was a switch track that turned left and led to a dead stop. The other set of tracks seemed to lead clear through the cavern, but they had no way of reaching the switch.

"Okay… well, this is a problem."

"Oh, just leave that to me, Mario!" Hanner said brightly. She drew back her arm and threw her hammer across the gap, hitting the switch perfectly. With a whirring sound, the tracks shifted and clicked right into place.

"Nice job, Hanner," Mario said with a smile. "All right, everybody, let's do this."

Very reluctantly, Mario's partners jumped into the mine cart. Mario stood behind it and gave it a push, starting it rolling before he jumped in as well. Ever so slowly, the cart rolled along the track, passing over the deep dark drop…

And then it plummeted down a steep slope like a roller coaster.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" everyone shrieked.

"WE'RE GONNA DIE, WE'RE GONNA DIE, WE'RE GONNA DIE!" Hanner screamed.

The mine cart reached the bottom of the drop and started zigzagging through the cavern, wobbling dangerously on its tracks and threatening to dump Mario and the others out. Mario fought back the urge to throw up as the cart raced along the tracks, up and down, left and right, without any rhyme or reason.

And just when he thought it couldn't get any worse…

"Where d'you varmints think you're goin'?" came a jeering voice from behind them. All of them turned around to see the Mousers riding in another mine cart just a few feet in back of them.

"What the – don't you guys ever stop?" Mario cried in exasperation.

"Why don't you leave us alone?" Stubba shouted angrily.

"Heh! Not likely!" the Mouser in front snarled at them. "Let's see how ya like this!"

Suddenly, their mine cart put on a burst of speed, ramming into Mario's cart and causing it to lurch dangerously forward. Mario's group cried out as they were flung to the front of the cart, nearly causing it to flip over.

"They're gonna kill us!" Hanner cried.

"No matter how many people try to kill me, it never gets any less annoying," Mario sighed.

The Mousers' cart rammed into theirs again and again, even as they continued racing along through the rocky cavern, winding around enormous stalagmites that rose up out of the darkness.

"You goody-goodies ready to give up yet?" the Mouser mocked them.

"All right, I've had enough!" Snatchel declared, jumping to his feet. He grabbed his lasso and flung it at the lead Mouser, whose eyes bulged as he ducked out of the way just in time. The one behind him wasn't so lucky.

"What the – WAAAAAAAUGHHHH!" he screamed as he was yanked out of the cart, hurtling through the air and crashing into a stalagmite. Hanner and Stubba laughed and cheered.

"You'll pay for that, Sheriff!" the remaining Mouser snarled, pulling out a very sharp-looking pickaxe. As his cart caught up to Mario's he prepared to lunge at the group, but Mario beat him to it. The plumber jumped onto the ledge of the cart and swung his hammer, whacking the Mouser and sending him staggering backwards.

"So, that's how you wanna play it!" the thief growled. He jumped onto the ledge of his own cart, and he and Mario began duking it out with their respective weapons.

"If I weren't so terrified right now, this would be the coolest thing ever," Hanner remarked, watching the whole thing.

"Shouldn't somebody be watchin' where this thing is goin'?" Goomblaine demanded. The other partners turned and saw they were headed directly for another switch track. One set of tracks swerved off to the left, the other to the right.

"Mario! Get back down here!" Hanner shouted. Mario turned around, saw where they were heading, and gave a yelp of surprise, jumping back down in the cart. They reached the junction and veered off to the left, and Hanner threw out her hammer and hit the switch just in time to send the Mouser's cart off to the right.

"YES! We did it!" Mario cheered.

"Ha! The joke's on you!" the Mouser shouted over at them as the carts raced along on parallel tracks. "If you get away from me, how're you ever gonna get this?"

He reached down and dramatically held up the very last Gold Nugget. Everyone gasped.

"You had that thing all along?" Mario demanded.

"You got that right, fatty!" the thief cackled, holding the Nugget up for all to see. "Looks like I got the last laugh after all, huh? How does it feel knowin' you got this far only to get outsmarted by a little mouse? I reckon you'll never be able to show yer faces in town again! Why don't ya just – "

He was cut off as Snatchel threw out his lasso and grabbed the Nugget right out of his hands.

"What? …Aw, dangit…"

"All right!" Hanner cheered as Snatchel caught the Nugget in his hands. "We did it! We really did it!"

"Awesome work, everybody! I knew we could do it!" said Mario as everyone laughed and celebrated. Finally, the ground rose up to meet them again and the carts began riding along on solid earth.

"Thank goodness that's over with… we're safe now, right?" said Hanner.

Snatchel looked over his shoulder in the direction the cart was heading, and suddenly blanched. "Uh… I wouldn't say that."

The tracks came to an abrupt end directly ahead, just in front of a large hole in the ground.

Mario and the others turned and noticed this, but were too late to do anything about it.

"Well, this stinks…"

All of them screamed as the cart crashed into the edge of the tracks, dumping them out and sending them plummeting head over heels into the massive hole, down to who-knew-where.

The Mouser watched this and grumbled to himself, ducking down into his cart and pulling out a walkie-talkie.

"All right, fellers, it's me!" he hissed into it. "Now listen up, the sheriff and his posse are on their way down. At this point there's only one thing left we can do to possibly stop 'em… prepare the Mechaminer!"

––

Mustard Mines

11:59 am

Mario landed on the hard ground with a painful thud. After wincing and groaning for a moment, he rubbed his spinning head and slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position. All around him, his partners did the same.

"Nice going, genius… 'We're safe now, right?' You just had to say it!" Goomblaine shot at Hanner.

"Hey, that wasn't my fault!" Hanner snapped back defensively.

Mario looked around slowly and cautiously. They had fallen into what appeared to be a large, circular room with rock walls on all sides. The lanterns that were strung up provided some light, but all that did was illuminate the fact that there didn't seem to be a single way out.

"Mario, are we stuck down here?" Stubba whimpered.

"I don't know, Stubba," he replied, trying to ignore his quickening heartbeat.

Suddenly, there came a wicked laugh from high above their heads. They looked up to see the Mouser peering down at them with a malicious grin before he performed an acrobatic flip and dropped down to the floor next to them, landing gracefully.

"It's the end a' the line for you fellers!" he taunted as Mario's team got into fighting stances. "Too bad all that hard work a' yers went to waste! 'Cause now we got ya right where we want ya!"

"What are you talking about?" Mario demanded. "You're the ones who wasted your time! We took back all that gold you tried to steal from this place!"

"And if it's a fight you want, we can take you!" Hanner chimed in.

The Mouser just laughed again. "That's where yer both wrong! Even if ya did nab back all our gold, there ain't nothin' stoppin' us from gettin' it all back and more!"

He took a step backward. "I think it's high time y'all were introduced to our secret weapon – the thing we're gonna use to mine this place empty!" he declared. "There ain't no way you jokers can stand up to the sheer might of… the Mechaminer 2400!"

Mario's party gasped. They braced themselves, but after a long moment of silence, nothing had happened. The Mouser blinked and turned to face the wall behind him.

"I said, the MECHAMINER 2400!" he shouted at it.

"Oh! Sorry!" came a voice from behind the wall. All of a sudden, there came a series of scuffling and whirring noises, along with the sound of something very large starting to move…

"What are they up to?" Mario wondered.

"Whatever it is, we can handle it," Hanner said confidently.

The noises suddenly began to grow louder, and along with them, there came a large rumbling. Mario cautiously took a step back as the earth trembled and shook dangerously beneath their feet, causing rubble to fall from the ceiling and threatening to throw them off balance…

And then an enormous machine came ripping through the paper wall, leaving a huge gaping hole. It was made mostly of wood, and had come rolling out on two large wooden wheels. Extending from its frame were a bunch of long jointed arms that were tipped with all manner of lethal-looking mining tools: whirring drills, razor-sharp pickaxes and snapping metal jaws. Three other Mousers were sitting on top of it and piloting it, and the last one gave a sinister laugh before flipping backwards up onto the machine to join them. Mario's party stared up in bug-eyed horror as the Mechaminer 2400 rolled up, bearing down on them and looking ready to tear them limb from limb.

"Although… this might be a problem," Hanner decided.