Summary: (Harry Potter / Hetalia Axis Powers Crossover) England decides to teach at Hogwarts to keep an eye on the Boy Who Lived. But the famous Trio (Harry, Ron, Hermione) are becoming suspicious of their new profesor... Can England keep his status as a country a secret? And what does Voldemort want with him?
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Hetalia belong to their rightful owners. I do not own either.
Harry
Finally, the start of term had come. After a dreadful, nightmarish summer with the Dursleys, Harry Potter was more than ready to start another year at Hogwarts.
At the moment he was on the train to Hogwarts in a compartment with Ginny, Neville, and some strange girl named Luna who was reading a magazine upside down. Ron and Hermione were currently in a Prefect meeting, leaving Harry feeling strangely lonely. This had been the first time he had ridden to Hogwarts without the company of his two closest friends.
Harry had been relieved to be out of the halls of the train and in a compartment. Walking down the corridors was a nightmare with people whispering about him behind his back. People had always talked about Harry, but after the Cedric incident last year... the rumours had become much more worse.
Neville was chatting about a new exotic plant he had gotten for his birthday. Something called a... mimble tonic, mimbulusatonia? Something like that? Harry was having troubles paying attention and remembering the name of the ugly, wart-covered cactus-like plant.
At that moment Neville was proudly demonstrating his plant's "defense mechanism" by pricking the plant's bumpy gray skin with a quill. Just then, dark green, rancid-smelling goop spurted from the agitated plant onto the walls of the compartment and all of it's occupants.
Harry, ever the unlucky one, got a mouthful of the stinking stuff. To put it lightly: it tasted like crap.
It was at that moment that Harry's crush from last year, Cho Chang, decided to stick her head into the compartment. Talk about bad timing...
"Oh... hello, Harry," she said, nervously eyeing the gunk covering Harry. "Um... bad time?" she continued sheepishly.
That's an understatement, thought Harry to himself with embarrassment. It was lucky that the thick green liquid was covering his face, so Cho couldn't see him blushing like a brand of flame.
"Oh... hi." said Harry, his mind blank and not knowing quite what to say in this situation.
"Um... Well... I just thought I'd say hello... bye then," Cho awkwardly closed the sliding-door of the compartment and rushed away with pink-tinged cheeks.
Groaning, Harry despairingly went limp in his seat. He was almost certain that he had not made a good impression on Cho...
After a clever use of the spell "scourgify" by Ginny, the stinking sap of the plant immediately disappeared without a trace.
"S-sorry..." whispered Neville in a meek voice.
An hour and some wizard candy from the trolley later Ron and Hermione rejoined Harry in the compartment. Harry was glad that he would be able to spend the remainder of the train ride with his two oldest friends. Together they moaned and complained about Draco Malfoy's recent appointment as a Prefect, Harry and Ron made plans of how they could abuse Ron's new status as a Prefect to torment Crabbe and Goyle, and just joked and laughed together, enjoying eachother presence. However, no one laughed harder at Ron and Harry's jokes than Luna Lovegood, who in her mirth dropped her upside-down magazine. Harry managed to steal a glance at the strange looking magazine, and saw some rather odd and far-fetched titles for articles within the magazine on the cover, which was labeled "The Quibbler".
Corruption in the Quidditch League: How the Tornados are Taking Control
Secret of the Ancient Runes Revealed
Personifications of Countries: They are out there!
Sirius Black: Villain or Victim?
"Can I read this?" Harry asked curiously, bending down to retrieve the magazine.
Luna couldn't speak, still laughing at some joke of Ron's, but she nodded in consent.
Harry began to read the story about Sirius, as that had been what had caught his attention in the first place. The article went on to say that Sirius Black may not be a horrific murderer, but in fact was innocent of his crimes and was actually a singer named Stubby Boardman of the band The Hobgoblins.
What nonsense, thought Harry in disbelief. Well, at least the got the part about Sirius being innocent right...
Harry then proceeded to flip through the other articles in the magazine. There was a story about Fudge ordering goblins to be cooked in pies, which was definitely rubbish, an article about sacred runes that when read upside down, supposedly revealed a secret spell (this explained why Luna had been reading The Quibbler upside down...), a story about how the Tornados Quidditch Team were cheating, and finally an article about countries being alive. This story suddenly grasped Harry's interest.
For thousands of years rumours and tales have circulated about beings who personify the Nations of the world. Great men and women who represent their Nations and who fight in the wars of their respective countries. Sightings have been reported since the beginnings of civilization, and yet the Ministry refuses to acknowledge even the possibility of countries being people.
Harry paused in his reading. This was strange. He had never heard of something like this before. The idea of countries being people as well as land-masses and goverments just seemed to far-fetched, and yet... it was still intriguing.
Hermione glanced over his shoulders at the magazine, sniffing with disdain slightly. "Anything good in there, Harry?" asked Ron. "Of course not, Ron." Hermione said scathingly. "Everyone knows that The Quibbler is absolute rubbish. I mean, look at this article here. The idea that countries could be people, I mean, honestly..."
"Ehem," interrupted, Luna, her voice suddenly serious and lacking the dreamy-quality it usually had. "Excuse me, my father is the editor..."
"Oh, um, I... well, it's rather interesting, um, quite... yes..." muttered Hermione, suddenly looking extremely uncomfortable.
"And for the record, countries are real. As real as the Crumple-Horned Snorkak." Luna added with passion. "I'll have it back now, thank you." she said, coldly reaching for the magazine with an icy stare.
Harry concluded that Hermione was right, and pushed everything he had read from The Quibbler to the back of his mind.
Time passed, and an unfortunate visit from Malfoy and his goons later, the train arrived at Hogsmeade. Ron and Hermione left again to help supervise the unloading of passengers. Luna helped Harry carry Pigwidgeon's cage. Meanwhile Harry was listening for the familiar, gentle booming of Hagrid's voice, calling out the usual "firs' years, firs' years, firs' years over 'ere..." But instead, Harry heard a very different voice, a strict and authoritative voice.
"First years, this way! All first years, over here!" said the male voice.
Harry caught a glimpse of the man who was yelling. He was a lean but thin man, who stood straight and tall with almost perfect posture and appearing to be in his early twenties. He was wearing a muggle suit, and was holding a lantern. In contrast to his bearing, his golden hair was messy and unkempt, not unlike Harry's own hair, but not quite as wild. His eyes were deep green, and looking into them from a distance seemed to remind Harry of the Forbidden Forest: dark and mysterious. Pulled over his eyes were the thickest pair of eyebrows Harry had ever seen on a person, and they made the man look permanently serious.
"Where's Hagrid?" he confusedly wondered aloud.
"Dunno, but we'd better get out of the way, we're blocking the door..." said Ginny.
"Oh, yeah..."
Harry strained his neck in the crowd of students leaving the train, peering over the heads of passengers for a glimpse of his friend Hagrid. He can't be gone, he has to be here... thought Harry to himself. Spending time with his old friend Hagrid had been one of the things Harry had most being looking forward to at Hogwarts. However, Harry saw no sign of his large friend. He's probably just sick of something...
Harry made his way to where to horseless carriages usually stood waiting for the students, but this time the horseless carriages were no longer quite so horseless...
Deadly still creatures were hitched up to the carriages, but though they maintained an equine-like shape, they weren't quite horses... They almost seemed like an undead mix of a dragon and a horse. They were skeleton like, with absolutely no flesh clinging to their bones. Their black leather skin was pulled taught over their bones. Their heads were sharper than a horse's, and lacked the round features typical to a regular horse. The heads almost seemed to have... a reptillian look about them. They had wings like Pegasi, but instead of the beautiful feathery wings of a winged horse, they were bat-like, like a dragon's. The eyes were the worst, dead and milky white, like they were blind... except they pierced through your very soul.
Harry could not understand why the school would use such ghastly and horrible horses when they could just as easily enchant the carriages to pull themselves.
Soon Ron, Ginny, and Hermione came and joined Harry in a carriage. While they waited for Luna to reemerge from the crowd with Ron's owl, Harry mentioned the horses to Ron.
But no one in the carriage could see the strange horses. Only Luna Lovegood claimed to be able to see the deathly creatures.
England
Since England was to take over Hagrid's duties in the half-giant's absence, he stood waiting at the platform in Hogsmeade to wait for the train, so that he could escort the first years to the castle. When the train arrived, England quickly proceeded to usher the nervous but excited children towards the lake and into little boats. After loading all of the children into the boats, England placed himself in a boat with an anxious little girl with red hair. England gave the firm command of "Forward!", and the boats pulled themselves from the beach and began to move, propelling themselves towards the castle that was slowly looming in the distance.
As the magnificent castle came into view, with its great towers and turrets and light-filled windows, the first-years were immediately struck with awe. Their mouths fell open and their large, innocent eyes grew wide to make a very comical picture. England chuckled lightly at their expressions.
After a moment, England tried to engage in conversation with the little, lonely girl that he was sharing his boat with. She had been silent almost the entire ride, with her eyes down-cast as she fiddled quietly with her thumbs.
"Hello, my dear," he said in his most gentle, kind voice possible. "What's your name?"
The little girl meeped quietly and looked up at England shyly. "R-rose. Rose Zeller," she said. her voice barely louder than a whisper.
England smiled comfortingly. "How are you, Rose? I'm Professor Kirkland." (Goodness, did it feel weird to refer to himself as a "Professor"...)
"I'm good... a little jittery..." she admitted meekly. "It's nice to m-meet you Professor..." she added.
"There's no need to be nervous," England reassured her with another smile. "You'll do just fine."
"R-really?" she said her eyes hopeful.
"Really," he affirmed.
"Thank you..." she said gratefully, her eyes less panicked and filled with a bit more confidence.
When the boats made it to Hogwarts, England helped unload the first years, and then proceeded to deposit them in the Headmistress' care to be orientated and then sorted. The Headmistress, a woman named Mrs. Mcgonagall, was a proud and stern looking woman whom England had a feeling would tolerate zero-nonsense. Still, England decided that he liked her enough, and would have no problem working with her for the year. England said goodbye to Rose and made his way to the Great Hall.
As he walked between the house tables to the head table for staff at the head of the hall, he felt eyes on him and hushed whispers.
England seated himself near the far end of the table, closest to the Slytherin table, next to a man with greasy black hair, pale skin, a large hooked nose, and cold dark eyes. The man turned to stare frigidly at England, his thin, sallow fingers twitching slightly.
"...I don't believe we have met," he said. "I am Professor Snape, I teach Potions here," he introduced himself in a monotone voice. "And who might you be?" Snape inquired with a cocked eyebrow.
"I'm Kirkland. Arthur Kirkland. I'll be taking the post of Assistant Professor this year. I'm looking forward to working with you in the future," England replied formally, though secretly he was taking an instant dislike to this so-called "Professor Snape".
"A pleasure," murmured Snape, his eyes contradicting his words. It was obvious that he found England's apparent youth amusing, thinking himself superior. Snape instantly turned to face forward again.
Well... that was a warm welcome... England thought sarcastically.
More and more children began to file into the Great Hall, filling in the tables and chatting to each other about their summers. England saw Harry Potter enter, and the whispers that accompanied his entrance were almost deafening.
Soon the first years filed in anxiously, led by Mrs. Mcgonagall and lined up in front of the staff table. The Headmistress put a stool in front of them, and placed the ancient, ripped Sorting Hat atop the stool. Everyone was silent and attentive when the hat suddenly sprung and up and burst into song:
In times of old, when I was new, And Hogwarts barely started, The founders of our noble school Thought never to be parted. United by a common goal, They had the selfsame yearning To make the world's best magic school And pass along their learning. "Together we will build and teach" The four good friends decided. And never did they dream that they Might some day be divided. For were there such friends anywhere As Slytherin and Gryffindor? Unless it was the second pair Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, So how could it have gone so wrong? How could such friendships fail? Why, I was there, so I can tell The whole sad, sorry tale. Said Slytherin, "We'll teach just those Whose ancestry's purest." Said Ravenclaw, "We'll teach those whose Intelligence is surest." Said Gryffindor, "We'll teach all those With brave deeds to their name." Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot And treat them just the same." These differences caused little strife When first they came to light. For each of the four founders had A house in which they might Take only those they wanted, so, For instance, Slytherin Took only pure-blood wizards Of great cunning just like him. And only those of sharpest mind Were taught by Ravenclaw While the bravest and the boldest Went to daring Gryffindor. Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest and taught them all she knew, Thus, the houses and their founders Maintained friendships firm and true. So Hogwarts worked in harmony for several happy years, but then discord crept among us feeding on our faults and fears. The Houses that, like pillars four had once held up our school now turned upon each other and divided, sought to rule. And for a while it seemed the school must meet an early end. what with dueling and with fighting and the clash of friend on friend. And at last there came a morning when old Slytherin departed and though the fighting then died out he left us quite downhearted. And never since the founders four were whittled down to three have the Houses been united as they once were meant to be. And now the Sorting Hat is here and you all know the score: I sort you into Houses because that is what I'm for. But this year I'll go further, listen closely to my song: though condemned I am to split you still I worry that it's wrong, Though I must fulfill my duty and must quarter every year still I wonder whether sorting may not bring the end I , know the perils, read the signs, the warning history shows, for our Hogwarts is in danger from external, deadly foes And we must unite inside her or we'll crumble from within I have told you, I have warned you... let the Sorting now begin. (c) J.K. Rowling)
One of England's thick dark eyebrows rose in interest. The Sorting Hat rarely gave warnings... only in times of extreme caution. That meant that the situation in his country was even worse than he thought... and it was only going to get worse.
The first child to be sorted was placed in Griffyndor, and as the sorting went on, England did his best to push his worries to the back of his mind. Rose Zeller, the little girl England had talked to on the way to the castle, was sorted into Hufflepuff, and England clapped extra loud for the bright eyed, red-haired girl as she made her way to her new house's table. He caught her shining, elated eyes as she sat down, and gave her a rare wink of congratulations. Rose beamed.
As the last of the applause faded away, Dumbledore stood to begin his start-of-year speech.
"To our newcomers, welcome! To our old hands, welcome back! There is a time for speech-making... but this is not it. Tuck in!"
At these words a magnificent feast appeared on the tables, beckoning those who were seated to gorge themselves.
So much for the start-of-year speech... Arthur thought, chuckling lightly to himself. I think I fancy a nice biscuit, he decided, reaching for delectable-looking biscuit.
Once everyone had stuffed themselves silly with excellent British cooking, (A.N. England is very defensive of his cooking, XD), Dumbledore began his speech for real. He started with the usual warning to not wander into the Forbidden Forest, and a reminder of the caretaker Filch's rules of "no magic in the halls" and certain prohibited magical items. Next, Dumbledore moved on to the new additions to the Hogwarts teaching staff.
"We have two changes of staffing this year. We are pleased to welcome Professor Dolores Umbridge and Arthur Kirkland on board this year. Professor Umbridge will be taking over the Defense Against the Dark Arts position, and Professor Kirkland has consented to become an Assistant Professor here at Hogwarts. He will be filling in for any absent or incapacitated staff members. Professor Kirkland will be taking care of the Care for Magical Creatures Lessons, and will also be teaching some History of Magic classes, alongside Professor Bins. (there was a round of applause at this statement.)"
Dumbledore continued to talk about other matters, such as the tryouts for Quidditch, before he was suddenly interrupted by that Umbridge woman.
"Hem, hem," came her voice.
She then proceeded to stand, and it became clear that she intended to make a speech of her own.
At that moment England got his first real look at Dolores Umbridge. ...She was from the Ministry, England was sure of it. If he remembered correctly, she was the undersecretary to the Minister. She was a short, unpleasant little woman that looked an awful lot like a toad. Her eyes were bulging, and her mouth was rather wide. England had also never seen so much pink on a single person before.
Umbridge smiled a sickeningly-sweet smile, but her large, toad-like mouth ruined the image. She spoke her own, dull speech, which mostly comprised of hints that the Ministry would be interfering with how things were being run at Hogwarts.
Great. Just great. The last thing England needed was the Ministry interfering at the school. This could create unlimited problems... The Ministry still refused to accept that You-know-who was back, and no doubt this Umbridge woman would but a stopper on Defense Against the Dark Arts training for the children, even though the students would need to be prepared for a future war that England was sure was on the horizon... Not to mention that England was not keen on a Ministry official snooping around... she may become suspicious and discover his secret.
England sighed as Umbridge seated herself again. Well, I got through my first day... ten months to go...
Rose Zeller is an actual character in Harry Potter. She is mentioned only once to my knowledge, in the 5th book. I decided I wanted England to interact a bit with a first year. :3
Just a filler chapter, sorry that it's similar to the book.
Review please! It helps me write faster!