Hey everyone, I'm finally back! Sorry it took so long for me to update but I'm going to stop trying to set deadlines for myself since that obviously doesn't work. Merry Christmas and happy Hanuka to everyone, or whatever you do or don't celebrate. I'm really going to try to update more often and now that I'm over my writing block of where to go with this, the next chapter should come sooner but we'll see. Either way, I will not abandon this story so don't worry about that. I hope you guys like this chapter even though it's just a bit of a filler that explains some stuff and it's a little confusing. Even so, I hope it's not too bad and you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural.

Chapter 8:

It would all be over soon, that much Vivian knew. Death was coming and nothing she could do would stop it. Whether it got Dean, Lilith (the demon they had discovered held his contract), or even her, Vivian knew that no matter what, it would all be finished in a little while. Someone would die and Vivian hoped to any god, goddess or deity there was that it would be Lilith.

Vivian had a connection with the other two; Lilith and Dean. She was tied to Dean, connected in such a way that by the time his last few days were upon him, Vivian could practically feel his heart beating in her chest. Lilith had tied them, and therefore she was connected to them as well. Dean couldn't feel her but Vivian could. She supposed it had to do with the ritual used to find her for Dean or maybe as a "pure" woman, whatever that meant, she sensed things others couldn't. She wasn't sure. What she was sure of, however, was that she could feel Lilith and though it was slight, just little bits in pieces, she could feel enough.

She was impatient for Dean's soul, that much Vivian knew, but anyone could tell you that. Vivian knew that one of them would die soon as well though and she also knew that after that happened all connections would be severed. Maybe Lilith had unknowingly linked the two of them or maybe she did this just to give Vivian more false hope, another being to be on the short list of possible deaths; she didn't know. Perhaps Lilith could sense her as well. Whatever the reason, the tie, as any tie Vivian had researched short of a soul binding contract, would break once one of the spirits of the people involved was in someone else's possession. If Dean died, his soul would belong to Lilith; if Lilith died, there would be no soul to belong to anyone and if Vivian died, well she would be dead and unlikely to be able to connect with anyone.

The past few days had been a jumble of emotions and events going by much too fast. Bela had died, telling Dean that Lilith was the one who held his contract and therefore the one who had connected Dean and Vivian. Dean's time was running out but Vivian wasn't giving up hope, especially now that the Winchesters were back and standing in the same room as her.

They had arrived sometime late last night while she had been sleeping. She had felt Dean enter the house immediately, jolting her awake and causing her to panic for a moment, wondering if something had happened to him. She had rushed downstairs in a rather odd combination of ugly, stripped boxer shorts and a button up pyjama shirt with clashing orange polka dots. She had nearly stabbed Sam with a knife she kept on her bedside table but dropped it once she realized who it was, somehow ending up in his arms with her head buried in his chest. He was comforting and strong and almost as much as a part of her as Dean was by this point, though with him it was by choice.

"Hey," he whispered into her hair as he gripped her more tightly than needed. Vivian understood him and him, her. With her connection to Dean, she was the only one who even remotely understood what Sam was going through; other than Bobby. It was different with Vivian though. She was different with Dean. She wasn't family; not like Bobby and Sam were, but she wasn't a friend either. She was something in between and that was almost as dangerous.

"Hi," Vivian replied, pulling away from the comfort of Sam's arms and turning to older Winchester. "Hey Dean," she had said softly, with such an odd tenderness in her voice that it almost seemed as if she were breaking just by holding his gaze.

They had changed. After months of dreaming of each other, weeks of calling one another late at night, days of feeling the other's presence at the edges of their mind, they had become something. They weren't what they had begun as, something between hormonal teenagers and bitter adults but they weren't what Lilith had intended them to be either. They never spoke of their feelings for one another, Vivian not knowing if the other man truly felt anything romantic for her at all, other than the desire the dreams had given him. She felt something though. Something she pushed down violently at the sight of him.

They both cared for each other though and you could see the pain in either's eyes as they avoided each other's touch that night; keeping a safe distance from one another and their own thoughts.

Vivian had led them upstairs to research or sleep or whatever they wanted to do in the few hours before daylight, the few hours before Dean's time was up, and then she had gone back to her room; knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep.

Instead she had read. She had seen everything that had anything to do with soul contracts already and read all the books on Hell and demons a hundred times until they were memorized but she looked at them again in a desperate hope to find something else, something new before it was too late.

Apparently Bobby had been doing the same thing.

"So you need a name, that's the whole kit and caboodle. With the right name, right ritual, ain't nothing you can't suss out," he said the next morning as they all stood around a map he had pulled out from who knows where. Above it was a sort of tripod with a crystal ball on top that had a sharp spike protruding from it. Vivian assumed that this was some type of tracking device Bobby had stolen or illegally bought.

"Like the town Lilith's in?" Sam asked, gazing at the object over the map.

"Kid, when I get done, we'll know the street," Bobby scoffed before beginning the ritual.

Vivian watched in fascination, always becoming immediately calmed by the sound of Latin, as odd as it seemed. It was the only thing that had kept her sane after she had killed Jeremy, the only person she had ever taken a life from. Learning incantations and exorcisms helped her focus, remain composed until she could come to terms with what she had done. She still wasn't entirely over it but at least by now she could didn't vomit the moment she awoke or imagine blood on her hands every time she went to clean up.

The pendulum of the large tracking device began to move as Bobby continued to chant until it eventually paused above a spot on the map.

"New Harmony, Indiana," Vivian read, feeling an odd sense of overwhelming stillness. The sort of thing one feels just before a huge storm hits or during the breath you take before jumping into the water.

Dean looked up at her, his expression showing her that he could feel it too. Everything was coming to a close and they both knew it.

Bobby interrupted their silent conversation with an "And we have a winner," before Sam pushed the pendulum away.

"Alright," the younger Winchester said, turning to leave. "Let's go."

"Wait!" Vivian exclaimed at the same time as Dean said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on."

Sam turned back to look at them, something between a question and a warning in his eyes.

"What's the problem?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

Vivian was about to answer when Dean beat her to it, frustration evident in his tone.

"What's the problem? Come on, where do I begin? I mean, first of all, we don't even know if Lilith holds my deal. We're going off of Bela's intel? Now when that bitch breathes, the air comes out crooked. Okay. Second, even if we could get to Lilith, we have no way to gank her. And third, isn't this the same Lilith that wants your giant head on a pike? Should I continue?"

"Ain't you just bringing down the room," Bobby muttered as Dean shot him a look.

"Yeah, well, it's a gift."

Sam sighed exasperatedly.

"I'm sorry, so then what are we supposed to do, Dean?"

"Just cause I gotta die doesn't mean you have to, okay. Either we go in smart or we don't go in at all."

Dean looked around at all of them, his gaze resting on Vivian for a moment longer than anyone else.

You don't have to die, Vivian told him desperately with her eyes. We can fix this.

Better me than you, he told her, causing Vivian to start. She hadn't known that he had felt the nearing death too. She hadn't known that he knew that she was one of the options.

"Better Lilith than anyone," Vivian said aloud, surprising everyone in the room.

"What?" Sam asked, confused just as Bobby said, "What in Satan's fire are you talking about, girl?"

"One of us is going to die." Vivian informed the group.

"And it's going to be me," Dean replied forcefully giving her a look. "This is what I chose. You have no business coming here and getting in the middle of it. I'm sorry I put you in this position but I'm not letting you get into an even bigger mess."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Bobby demanded to know.

Both stopped staring each other down and turned to the older man.

"Dean might not have to die," Vivian explained. "It could be me. Or Lilith, for that matter."

"Lilith?" Dean asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"I'm sorry," Sam interrupted. "I still have no idea what you're saying."
Vivian closed her eyes and sighed, trying to think of the best way to phrase this.

"Look, I can't trade places with Dean, that's not how it works but I can feel it, and you're going to have to trust me on this one, I can feel that he can be replaced. We're going to go find Lilith and there one of three things will happen. Either Dean will die and go to Hell as intended, Lilith will be destroyed and Dean's contract with her, or something will happen that ends in my death and his life. I'm not sure how but I know it's an option." She looked desperately at Sam. "I know this sounds ridiculous and it doesn't make sense to even me but I can feel it. It might be the blood tie, it might be something else but I know. And Dean knows it too." She turned to the sandy haired man. "Well about me at least. Now he knows about Lilith too."

"Alright," Bobby said, trying to understand everything that was happening. "So what you're telling me is that you have some sort of feeling or premonition that tells you that someone's gonna die and while it might be Dean, it might also be you or, if we're really lucky, Lilith?"

Vivian nearly winced at the sound of that before nodding. It didn't seem very believable that way. Nor did it sound like it was boosting morale in the way she had hoped when she announced it.

"Okay, fine," Sam said, holding up his hands as if in surrender. "Either way, Dean will be the one that dies if we don't go there at all and I know a sure-fire way to confirm it's Lilith and a way to get us a bona fide demon-killing ginsu."

Dean all but slammed his fist onto the table.

"Damn it, Sam, no!"

Sam's temper seemed to be rising as well as he looked at his brother.

"We're so past arguing. Dean, I am summoning Ruby. It's our only choice."

Vivian's skin tingled at the sound of her name. Sam wanted to summon a demon? A "helpful" demon, sure, but a demon nonetheless. If Vivian knew anything, it was that you could never trust a demon and as far as she knew, this demon in particular was a bad one to give your vote of confidence. Dean's next words only backed her up on that.

"Come on man, she is the Miss Universe of lying skanks, okay. She told you that she could save me, huh – lie. She seems to know everything about Lilith but forgot to mention, oh right – Lilith owns my soul!"

"Okay, fine. She's a liar." Sam agreed. "She's still got that knife."

"Dean-" Bobby began but the very Winchester he was talking to cut him off.

"For all we know, she works for Lilith!"

Sam simply looked at his brother, desperation and hopelessness unmistakable on his every feature.

"Then give me another option, Dean." He all but pleaded. "I mean, tell me what else."

Vivian would've done anything to provide that option to both of the brothers in that room right then. She would've given her life, her heart, her soul; anything just to keep the two men from staring at each other with such brokenness and pain. But she couldn't. They were running out of options and they all knew it.

After a long silence, Bobby spoke, turning everyone's attention to him.

"Sam's right."

"No! Damn it!" Dean shouted, making Vivian jump slightly. He took a deep breath before continuing, much calmer now. "Just no. We are not gonna make the same mistakes all over again." He inhaled shakily. "You guys wanna save me, find something else."

Something broke inside Vivian at that. Maybe it was his choice of words, or his stupid superhero complex, or just his ridiculous stubbornness that caused Vivian to react the way she did, but no matter what had caused it, the fact remained the same that Vivian was at the end of her rope.

"If we want to save you?" Vivian asked angrily. "If we want to?!" She stared at the green eyed man she had grown to care about, rage consuming her. "Are you kidding me, Dean? You have less than 30 hours to live and we have given you every option in the book and you have thrown away every. Single. One. What more do you want us to do?" She asked, tears appearing in her eyes. Her next words were whispered, knowing she would break if she spoke regularly. "Do you even want to be saved?"

"Look, I won't have you all dying for me!" Dean yelled back. "You have a future! Sam has a future! Heck, even Bobby has time ahead of him! I'm not going to cut that short to try to reverse a deal that I made! I did this and this is my problem and every single option you have given me involves other people! I'm not going to leave this world knowing that I took three of the people I care about most with me!"

The words didn't even register until she was out of the house, slamming the door behind her. She couldn't be in the same room as him, she couldn't. Not right now, when everything hurt so much and even looking at him brought her pain. It wasn't until she had sat on the hood of some car in the middle of the scrap yard that his words truly sunk in.

The three people I care about most.

The people I care about most.

She was on that list.

"How do you think I feel?" she whispered to no one in particular as her tears escaped her eyes and ran down her cheeks. "Knowing I can't help the man I'm in love with?"

Love it? Hate it? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW! It means so much and really does give me motivation to continue. Reviews mean more chapters for you guys. Vivian's in love with Dean now too so things should get interesting. What do you think about her feelings? Think he loves her too? Think she'll save him? If she doesn't, will she remain "faithful"? Will she die? Put what you think in a review and tell me if this chapter was any good.

Thanks,

~Liliana