I'd love you if I could

chapter 6 - Those green eyes

A/N: Okay, this is a really long chapter, worked hard on it. It's like 9 pages long while usually it's 3 1/2 to 4 pages. PLEASE READ ESPECIALLY those who are confused.

Clary moved to New York to feel closer to them and possibly see them (as said in chapter 2)

She stopped being a shadowhunter and went on the down low as a mundane (chapter 2)

left 5 years ago

City of FAllen Angels never happened since I started the story before the book.

The story is about 7 years after COG (sorry if their ages weren't right, I had to change them to fit the story)

Just putting that out there, so anyway, ENJOY :)

By the way, thanks for the many reviews !

"It doesn't matter where you go in life, what you do or how much you have. It's who you have beside you"

Clary's POV

"I-Isabelle?" I stuttered. Out of nowhere I heard a shriek and the next thing I knew, she was hugging me like the world was ending.

"OMG, Clary,y-you're here, alive!" She pulled back and grinned a grin I didn't even know existed. Then her expression turned serious.

"Where were you?" She said with a stern yet curious tone. "We looked everywhere for you!"

"Izzy, just calm down, okay, I know this may be hard to believe, but I've been in New York for about a year now."

"And you didn't bother to come see us?" She almost shouted. I eyed the chair next to me, hinting her to sit down.

"I have reasons," I looked down, ashamed.

"And?"

" I wanted to see you guys, but I was afraid. I mean I left, and didn't think you guys would want to see me."

"You should've anyway." She said, her expression lightening.

"I'm really sorry."

"I forgive you, but only for that, I'm still mad at you for leaving." The whole time, Lexi was just sitting there, stunned. I felt guilty for forgetting her, while I was all caught up in the conversation. I looked over at her.

She noticed me looking at her, "You guys know each other?"

"You didn't tell her?" Is she mundane? Isabelle mouthed at me. I nodded.

"Know about what?" Lexi asked with curious eyes. She was fascinated.

"Can I talk to Clary for a second?" Isabelle pulled me over to the corner of the cafe.

"Are you gonna tell her?" I immediately knew what she was talking about.

"Yes, she deserves to know." We walked back to the table.

"Clary?" Isabelle gestured to me.

"Ok, Lexi, I have to tell you something, please don't judge until I finish,"She nodded and I continued," 5 years ago, I left my husband and daughter,"She gasped, "No they weren't bad, I just had to leave them to protect them."

"From what?"

"I can't tell you, I'm sorry," I had to protect her from that world. She couldn't end up like Simon. Simon. I left him too, he must've been crushed.

I turned to Isabelle, "how's Simon?

"First, really upset, I mean anyone would be if their best friend just left without a goodbye."

"I'm such a bad friend!" I buried my face in my hands.

"Clary, not to make you feel bad but what about Luke, your mom, Alec, Magnus,mom and dad, Maia, Jace and Belle. They all miss you, they want you back, Jace might not admit it, but he needs you. Belle needs you. You have to go back and see them."

"I'll go back, in time, but now, I just, I'm not ready. Isabelle please, don't tell them you saw me. I'll go back, I promise."

"Fine, but you better."

"Thank you," I gave her a hug.

Jace

(third person)

Jace held Belle in his arms as he walked down the street to the playground. He took her there at least once a week, so she could meet up with her friends. Jace was never one for sitting still on the little park bench, as he was used to running around fighting off demons. But when he watched her play, it was worth it, and he sat through the whole hour. All the single mothers were always throwing themselves at him whenever he came, but he just watched Belle play, paying no attention to were flirting shamelessly in front of their children.

Do they have any respect for themselves? He thought to himself.

Belle was peacefully climbing up the steps, laughing. Jace smiled and sighed. If only she knew how much harder life would be.

"Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up"

Clary's POV

After leaving the cafe, I got dragged by Izzy and Lexi into the mall. As we entered the door, I looked up in horror. The mall was HUGE. Both of them looked around in joy, and pulled me along into the nearest shop.

3 hours later, we all found an outfit. I got a yellow shirt, with a frilly fringe on the side reaching downwards, a black jacket, and with some persuading, black pumps, instead of we hit the jewelry and makeup persuaded me into buying a black necklace to go with my outfit, lip gloss, and some mascara. On the way out, I saw a pin that said thank you for noticing, I am awesome, and I knew I had to get it.

http:/www(dot)polyvore(dot)/cgi/set(?)id=34120015

(link on my profile if you're too lazy to replace the dots)

"So, what's next?" I asked, looking at them. Lexi looked deep in thought, while Isabelle just looked around aimlessly.

"Ok clary, you'll have to see them soon enough, why don't you visit all the people you used to know. I mean, even if you're not ready to talk to them, you could just look from far away, see how they're doing."

"I guess, I really want to see them though, Is that ok with you Izzy?" I asked.

"Yeah sure, and you'll need my help. I know exactly where they all are." She smiled, clearly happy that I had agreed to see them.

15 minutes later...

"Izzy are you sure they're here?" I asked anxiously.

"Yes, I even called them." She confirmed, we had agreed to see Luke and Jocelyn(my mom) first. We were all crouching down behind a car, peeking out.

A few minutes later, I shouted "Look there they are," Izzy put her hand on my mouth and shushed me. I took her hands off and mumbled an apology. I kept my eyes glued to them. They haven't changed a bit. They were still pretty young for their age, but I had learned that shadowhunters aged slower than mundanes. Luke and Jocelyn's arms were connected, they looked so happy. Even far away, you could tell they were in love. They were happy, and that's all I could ask for.

5 minutes later...

"Hey Simon, meet me at the bus stop down the street ok? Don't ask why, just go. I have to tell you something. Ok bye" Izzy said into the phone. Lexi and I sat on the bench, holding up a magazine to cover our faces, and wore big hats. Izzy was standing, waiting for Simon. A moment later, Simon appeared wearing a gamer tee that said I could be gaining levels right now. Good old Simon with gamer tees. I shook my head and smiled.

"Hey Simon." Izzy said to him.

"Hey, so what did u need to tell me."

"Um, that I uh like your shirt, well that's it, bye" She finished enthusiastically, and pushed him along. He fixed his glasses, turning back giving Izzy a weird look and continued down the street.

8 minutes later...

This time we didn't hide behind anything, because Alec and Magnus were sitting near a window in a restaurant.

"They finally got together?" Izzy nodded.

"They've been together for 3 and a half years now."

"Thats good." I was really happy for them. Magnus was as sparkly as ever talking enthusiastically, waving his hands. While Alec sat and looked fascinated with whatever he was talking about. This was what a happy ending looked like.

5 minutes later...

Hiding in a bush was really uncomfortable. Especially when you're with 2 other people squishing you to death.

And then, there was Maia, laughing. I don't think I've ever seen her this happy. There was a guy in front of her on the motorcycle. He got off and helped her off.

"Who's that?"

"That'sJordan, Maia's boyfriend of 4 years"

"Oh" was all I said as I watched them walk around the park hand in hand. So much had changed. So many people had found their other half. And I wondered if Jace was one of them. The thought of Jace with someone else broke her heart, but she knew it would probably happen. Especially since Jace was such a player before her.

"Izzy, is Jace with anyone?" I asked, my voice shaking. I wanted to know, but didn't at the same time. It was just so confusing.

"No," She stated, causing me to almost fall backwards from my squating position.

"No? What do you mean no? He's just so - He's so-"

She cut me off by saying, "I know, it's a surprise to us all. It's probably only because of Belle, but I think he's still not over you. He still looks at your pictures, tells Belle about you. He won't admit it, but I know he hopes that you'll come back one day. " I felt relieved, and a rush of happiness. Jace hasen't forgotten me. I smiled with hopefullness that he'll forgive me when I had the guts to go to him. I know he probably won't welcome me with open arms but, in time, I hoped he knew that I didn't want to leave. Lexi looked at me with that why-is-she-grinning-like-an-idiot look, but I didn't care.

? minutes later...

I felt nauseous. Butterflies were fluttering about in my stomach. In a few minutes, I would see Jace, and my little baby girl.

"Ok they should be back in a few minutes. "

3 minutes later, they came into view and my heart started pounded. Jace looked ... he looked better than ever. Got more muscles (not body builder muscle) and had the same golden blonde hair. He was carrying little Clarabelle in his arms. She had grown so much. She looked so adorable in his arms, and looked so much like him. Tears started welling up in my eyes.

"Wow, is that Jace? He is hot," Isabelle gave Lexi a look.

"Is this really the time?"

"Sorry," She said raising up her hands. I continued looking at them. Suddenly, I felt a rush of adrenaline, and ran across the street. I heard my name being called across the street, but I didn't turn back.

"Jace!" I called to him.

Jace's POV

I heard my name being called by a familiar voice. A voice that sounded like Clary. Did I miss her so much that I was hallucinating? I gripped Clarabelle tighter and walked faster, while the voice continued to call my name. I finally stopped and turned around to meet...

Those green eyes