Chapter 3

Scarlett realized with growing apprehension that Mrs. Merriweather will not be the only one to inquire after Rhett's mysterious disappearance. As the hours wore on, she began to wish heartily that Rhett had delayed his departure by one day. Especially after they had all been invited very kindly by Dr. Meade and Mrs. Meade for supper at their home. Ashley's house was shrouded in gloom and the invitation had been a welcome one. But even as she entered the house, Dr. Meade asked her where Rhett was. Scarlett gave the same reason but the doctor pursued the topic, wondering innocently about the nature of work which might have dragged the Captain away with such urgency. Mrs. Meade's eyes widened knowingly and she hushed the doctor from behind the chair. Scarlett noticed her gaze divert for just a few seconds to Ashley's direction and she flushed angrily. Across the table sat a broken man who seemed to double over with the guilt of not having told his wife how much he loved and needed her. His world of books and music had filled his mind and heart with so many abstractions that although the his wife had given him her all, he had hardly given anything of himself except his fears and his dreams. Scarlett understood this now. She saw him as clearly as day. And as she continued this vein of thought, she realized that Ashley would survive Melly's death. He would merely waft back into his world and come out whenever it was absolutely necessary.

"And to think I once thought I loved him!"

Scarlett kept her promise to herself by staying as far away from Ashley as possible. But she also burned with curiosity about what Melly had to say regarding her black-haired husband.

Years ago, if Melanie had supported or talked kindly of Scarlett, the latter would have attributed Melanie's christian goodness to smugness or pride. But it was strange how her perception had changed so drastically with Melly's death. Now Melanie's words seemed wise and full of sincere affection. If she had said something about Rhett, surely it must be something useful and good.

Aunt Pitty fussed about with her smelling salts and spent most of the evening on the big sofa in the front hall. First she would recall some sweet memory of Melly and then sinkinto a pleasurable fainting spell. She left early with India by her side. India seemed to have grown kinder and wiser now. For some strange reason, she continued her kindness to Scarlett. Scarlett puzzled her head over this and decided that perhaps India was nice to her since Scarlett had contributed generously towards the funeral and burial expenses as well as the headstone and the engravings. They took Beau along with them so that night Scarlett had the opportunity of speaking to Ashley atlast about Rhett. She ignored the disguised outrage of the Meades and mounted into the coach after Ashley.

"Ashley, please.. dont keep me waiting any longer. What did Melly tell you?"

Ashley leaned into his seat and smiled a watery smile. "Months ago, Scarlett.. the time when you had that terrible fall and lost your baby- Melanie came back from attendin you and her face, so transparent and susceptible to the realities of the world was red and full of guilt. I knew immediatly that she was frightrned and flustered over something and I also knew that she would take atleast a week to bring up the courage to tell me. Melly never kept secrets, you see. "

"Then one night, as we were going to sleep, she turned to me in tears and confessed that she had hidden something from me for a very long time."

"What did she say?"

"Scarlett, until then, I never realized that Rhett loved you. I assumed tgat he had married you for your vivaciousness, your beauty.. He made your faults so conspicuous that I assumed that he loved to tease and torment you. But when I realized how wrong I was, I.. I stayed away. "

"I dont understand"

Ashley took her gloved hands in his. "Darling, he thought he had killed you when you fell down those steps. Oh I know you told the doctor that you had tripped but Rhett still punished himself with guilt. He cried to Melly outside your sickroom-"

"He did?!" ,gasped Scarlett, tears forming quickly in her emerald green eyes.

Ashley smiled more to himself than to Scarlett. "When a man cries for such things, Scarlett, you can be sure that it is love. But what Melly told next was even more startling.. Rhett told Melanie.. cried to her that you didnt love him. That you had never loved or cared for him, that you didn't want his children-"

"Oh, that's not true! " cried Scarlett, vehemently. She pulled out her handkercheif and blew her nose. Now she realized the cold politeness thst Rhett had shown during her convalesence. He had stopped loving her then. He had somehow convinced himself that night that he had made a mistake and stopped loving her.

"Then I realized my mistake. I should have never interferred in your marriage-"

"You, Ashley?! When did you ever interfere?"

"That day at the mill, when I ranted about Rhett Butler. How he had coarsened your fineness and brutalized you with his touches. Dont you see, my darling, I put those thoughts into your head. I, out of my own selfishness, twisted your thoughts, not he.."

"That's right" thought Scarlett, stunned. "I wanted to keep myself, physically, for you.. "

"When Melanie told me all this, I wanted do much to leave yo New York. I should have done so. But like the coward that I am, I stayed. We came into some money suddenly andI was able to make an offer for your mills."

"Yes, you bought them from me-"

"Melanie told me on her deathbed thst Rhett had given the money so that Beau would have a good education-"

Scarlett was too stunned to speak. She knew instinctively that that wasnt the reason at all. And seeing the red flush on Ashley's face, she knew that he knew too. "Ashley, don't tell me anymore. I am too tired to think-

"There isn't anymore to tell. But now tgst you know about the mills-"

"I dont want the mills. You keep them. I dont want them anymore, I-"

"Poor darling, you musnt lose hope. If you could go to Charleston-" The carriage stopped outside the Peachtree house and Scarlett thankfully lept outside. She was tired of Ashley just as she was tired of everyone else. But she did understand tgat Rhett had cried for her love. Cried and then hardened his heart sk tgat he wouldnt get hurt snymore and then he had separated her from Ashley.

"He is right. I must go to Charleston." Scarlett tottered on her feet. "But I am so afraid-"