Chapter 5
Winter was coming to Tara. But before dainty white hands tugged warm cashmere shawls closer and eager black hands kindled roaring fires, there was the glorious autumn reprieve. Oak trees in varying shades of brown stood like timeless stalwarts against the blushing orange and red of the sugar maple trees. The countryside seemed to burst into a riot of colors, bordered at the horizon by red rolling hills and dark sighing pines. As Scarlett gazed at the fiery foliage, she likened the burning beauty of the trees to the blazing fire in Rhett Butler's coal black eyes. That intense penetrating look. Eyes that followed her every move like a cat watching a mouse hole. It had annoyed her before in New Orleans. That must have been the brief interlude of autumn before winter extended its icy fingers around his heart and turned him so bitter and cold. Scarlett's heart grew heavy as the coach turned down one winding lane and Five Points disappeared from view. Although Tara was waiting with open arms of comfort, Atlanta was where Rhett had courted and married her. Every street, repaired and renamed, reminded her of the buggy rides he had given her, her lithe figure in sharp contrast beside his bold,masculine form. Every hall sang memories of danceables and every house, of pre-war parties. Tara could give her no wistful reminiscences of Rhett simply because he had never come to Tara. Scarlett's heart began to twist in pain. Suddenly the glow of returning home disappeared. The familiar, muddy red roads stirred no happiness in her and the unfolding green wilderness seemed dull and lifeless. Just why hadn't she ever brought Rhett to her plantation home? Why ever had she been content to bring only Wade and Ella alone? Then her conscience accused her of her preoccupation with Ashley.
"They were the two men to whom I spoke of my love." thought Scarlett, sadly. "And both of them didn't believe me. Ashley gave some nonsensical twaddle-twaddle about me being so full of life and spirit and Rhett carried on as if I was some spoilt-"
A thought struck Scarlett. Why, she had never given Rhett a proper explanation of why she had lost her love for Ashley. She had tried to toss Ashley away from their conversation as irrelevant but obviously Rhett would need a more convincing reason for her changing affections. That's why he was so suspicious and disbelieving!
She remembered these words,
"Something, someone has made you realize that the unfortunate Mr. Wilkes is too large a mouthful of Dead Sea fruit for even you to chew. And that same something has suddenly set my charms before you in a new and attractive light."
"He thinks I might still compare and tease him with Ashley. That's why he is so afraid to tell me that he loves me!"
Scarlett's green eyes lit up with dawning hope. "But if I tell him, then he can't pretend that he doesn't care any longer-"
Her spirits rose at this. She watched the changing scenery with renewed pleasure. How quickly the coach swallowed up the miles to Tara. Why, they were down the red cedar avenue already! Scarlett smiled and her cheeks dimpled. Tara gave her strength and Tara gave her hope. Once she reconciled with Rhett, she promised herself right then that she would bring him to Tara. He must see her love for this gorgeous red earth, the wide vistas of the plantation home, the furrowed hills and the pines. New Orleans was luxurious and entertaining, Atlanta was raw and exciting but Tara- Tara was everything! She belonged to Tara just as much as Tara belonged to her.
Then at the back of her mind, there rose a nagging fear of Rhett refusing to have another child with her. "Oh but he couldn't have meant it!" dismissed Scarlett. "Rhett was just angry and upset for being ignored by me for so long that he rebuffed me the first real chance he got. But when he knows that I truly love him-"
Scarlett was distracted from her train of thought by the road leading across the river and up the hill to a place where there had once stood a beautiful white-columned house. Twelve Oaks had graced that hill and the sights of the gardens and the shade under the great oaks was still fresh in Scarlett's memory. "Twelve Oaks was Ashley's world" she mused. Then she stared down the road to Tara. Tara must be her world too but Scarlett could never think of it that way. Of course it was a fine plantation and she drew her strength from it but she could never lose herself in idle fantasy. Life was too short and it had to be lived through fine dancing, parties, feasts and fun. Scarlett shook her head at how silly it was that Ashley would rather die than to live in a changed world.
Early morning, Scarlett, now settled in her room at Tara, set off towards the direction of her parents' grave. Ella made a garland of cape jessamine flowers and this she carried, along with assorted blooms gathered from the gardens to adorn the headstones. The last time she feared she'd lost Ashley, she sought the comfort of her mother's presence and now again, after losing Rhett, she longed for the same. Ellen had all the answers. Ellen always knew just what to do.
She reached the small area by the trees and sat down on a rock nearby, her crepe veil fluttering in the gentle autumn breeze. Her eyes fell on Ellen's grave, so silent and surrounded by trimmed patch of grass. A few wildflowers had grown here and there, specks of color in the green. Her father's gravestone was chipped and a small crack ran almost to the middle. Tall grass grew here, unkempt and wild.
"Even in their graves, they seem so different." thought Scarlett, wondering for the hundredth time how two people, so different in disposition could have loved and lived together for so many years.
She heard heavy breathing and turned to see Mammy shuffling towards her with a shawl in her hands. "Miss. Scarlett, I wanna thanks you for speaking those kind words about me to Miss. Suellen. She's been at me for weeks about why I quit your house and hurried on back to Tara-"
"Oh, she's just a plain old cat, Mammy." retorted Scarlett. "Don't you pay any attention to her!" A small tear fell down Mammy's cheeks upon hearing this and she lifted her apron and dabbed at her eyes.
"When I left your house and came back to Tara ,I felt so ashamed cause Miss. Ellen never called me back home. That was just what I said cause I couldn't understand what was going on between you and Mist. Rhett. All that yelling and screaming, blaming each other over the little Miss's death-"
"Mammy dear, all that doesn't matter now" said Scarlett, her features softening with feeling.
"Miss. Ellen would have told me to go on back and stick right next to my little lamb"
The next minute or so, Scarlett's head was on Mammy's bosom and her gnarled hands were combing through her hair. "Oh Mammy, I wish I could go back to the old days, or even to that barbeque afternoon at the Wilkeses plantation. I would have done things so differently if I had another chance- So many people keep telling me that for two people to marry and be happy together, they have to think alike but look at Ma and Pa. They were as different as chalk and cheese. But they got along fine, didn't they? And I thought that like Pa, I would-"
Scarlett's voice trailed away for she knew it was useless to talk about Ashley. Mammy's deaf ears did not pick up on most of what Scarlett said. If she had known that Scarlett's poor choice in husbands was because she thought her parents were different and so much in love, she might have hinted that Ellen had left her heart in the Savannah and only a soft shell of herself lived at Tara. But she was always a loyal old soul. She would have never told of that night when Ellen cried "Phillippe! Phillippe!" before slipping into eternal sleep. It was a pity for it would have helped Scarlett understand why she was the way she was. A child caught in two worlds, suppressing her wild, fiery nature and reaching for her Mother's unattainable ladylike standards-"
Months later, Scarlett received the first letter from Mrs. Butler. It ran as follows,
My dear Scarlett,
I am grieved to learn of Mrs. Melanie Wilkes's death. I pray that God will grant you the strength to recover from your loss of a sister and a very dear friend. My own daughter Rosemary has decided to marry Mr. Heyward who descends from a long line of the illustrious Mills-Heyward families, who have lived more than forty years in Charleston. We hope that you could join us in the planning of this happy event. And I long to see your own children, Wade Hampton and Ella Kennedy..."
Scarlett beamed with pleasure as she read this. It was so nice to feel wanted. So, Rosemary was getting married. Happy thoughts of flowers, candles, balls of honor and parties filled Scarlett's head. And in the midst of it all, Rhett would be there and she will make him see that he loves her after all. Scarlett re-read the letter before tossing it aside. Mrs. Butler struck her as a very straight-forward, unpretentious person. And she said so many times that she welcomed Scarlett to Charleston. Scarlett felt strangely flattered as she began to pack her trunk for the trip.