It didn't take long for me to reach our little house at the outskirts of town. The sun had barely moved from the spot it was on, when I departed from the brothel. But to me it felt like an eternity. An eternity pressed into a second.

My feet slowed their pace as the house came into sight. I took another hesitant step, than I stopped altogether. Mathias was probably waiting for me, most certainly angry with me. And I couldn't really blame him. But he would be much angrier if he knew, that I was about to betray him.

I looked down at my hands that were clenched, nails cutting in the tender flesh of my palm. He, who barely knew me, had promised to protect me, to wait for me, to be always there for me. And I had promised to betray him.

I had thought of talking to him, but knowing him, he would just do something stupid. Maybe even endangering himself. I wouldn't put it past him to just barge in on the patron and demanding he'd release me. And I couldn't ask him for the money either, I was sure he had inherited quite the sum from his grandfather, but it was highly unlikely to be enough to pay off the patron.

I never felt so hopeless in my entire life, not even when my mother died, because even then I had at least an idea of where to go. But now I had nothing.

You're not alone in this, you know?

Mathias' words sounded in my head. Then why did I feel so terribly alone?

My thoughts were interrupted as the door to our house was jerked open and a tall figure stepped out in the sunlight.

Light reflected off, of wild tangled yellow strands of hair, a flash of red shone from under a black cover, and then I was engulfed in firm arms and a steady grip of hands around my body.

"Lukas, thank god you're okay." Mathias said as he hugged my lifeless form.

Even after all I'd done, even after I had agreed to betray his trust, he was still there to worry about me, his only concern being my safety.

"Why didn't you wait?" He asked, pulling back from the embrace to look a t me. But I couldn't meet his gaze, so I averted my eyes. Why wasn't he angry? It would have been easier if he were angry. His anger I could met with anger of my own, but this, I couldn't face this.

"Lukas… is everything alright?" His voice was full of concern and he gently lifted my face with his fingers, forcing me to meet his gaze. But I still refused to acknowledge him; my eyes looked at everything but him.

"Lukas…" he started, but I could him off. I pushed back his hand and brushed past him. "I'm fine."

I walked through the still open door, glad that Emil wasn't there to inquire. I would have the door shut right behind me but Mathias beat me to it and stepped through.

I stood with my back turned on him, busying myself with some leftover dishes from the day before. Maybe he would just go back home, if I ignored him. But of course, he would never just do that, so instead, I found myself yet again in his tight embrace. He rested his face in on my shoulder, his breath tingled the skin of my neck.

"Why," He whispered, "Why won't you talk to me?" I closed my eyes, my hand moved on his own, rising to lie on top of Mathias' head. But my guilt stopped it halfway, so it hung there for a moment, before I dropped it again. "Didn't I tell you? I will be there for you, no matter what, so pleas talk to me."

And suddenly my restraint was broken; I could no longer hold back the tears that were threatening to fall the whole time. And with the tear came everything else, I broke down in Mathias' arms and told him everything that had happened. I didn't spare one detail, however shameful it might have been; all the while he was holding me tight, a silent comfort.

When I was finished, I was sitting on the floor, may hands wiping away at my eyes, still sniffling. And Mathias kept his firm embrace, sitting behind me and hugging me close.

When I was able to calm down enough to steady my breath, the silence had become unnerving. I dreaded whatever he was about to say. Surely he would be mad at me? But then why was he still holding me like that? I couldn't see his face, so there was no way of telling, what he thought. After my pathetic display of weakness, would he even be able to look at me?

So when he finally spoke up, my whole body tensed in nervous anticipation.

"Don't worry." He said. "We'll figure something out. Together."

"But why?" I whispered, barely audible, "Why aren't you mad?" "I could never be mad at you Lukas, because I love you." He tugged at my arm, until I turned around to face him. "You should know that by now." With that he cradled my face in his hands, his eyes bore into mine and then his lips closed in on mine. One mad, beautiful, breathtaking moment we were kissing, before he broke away.

"I promised you, didn't I? I'll never let you down."

His words made me flush with embarrassment. How could he say all those cheesy line, without dying of shame? Against my will I had to smile at that thought.

"I'm glad that you told me. I really don't know what's going on in your head, so you have to tell me."

Somehow Mathias had a way of making me feel better; he just seemed to ease away all my worries. Well almost all worries. "But what are we going to do about… well you know? You surely can't have enough money to pay him off?" A drastic change happened with Mathias at my words. His good natured grin that had been present even now, even though damped, vanished and a look of severe determination took over its place.

"I'll talk to father about that." His voice was more serious than ever. "I won't allow anyone to hurt you. Besides, there definitely needs to be done something about that person's politics. He let a man get away with rape that is inexcusable." The last words were spoken with a menacing threat to them. The grip of Mathias' hands on my arms had become tighter and almost painful. His eyes were fierce with anger, but under that there was a slight hint of pain and guilt.

"I will find that man and punish him for what he did to you." Now his grip really hurt, and I winced under his sharp glare. "Mathias, you're hurting me." The menacing aura disappeared as fast, as it had appeared. Mathias sat back on his feet and stroke a hand through his hair, messing it up even further.

"Sorry." He muttered, "I guess this juts got me agitated."

With a sigh he got up to his feet, reaching a hand down to me and pulling me on my feet with him. "Pack your things; I won't let you stay here, while that madman threatens your little brother." This time, he didn't left space to argue, his voice was final. And to my surprise it felt almost good to comply. Maybe this was for the best, if Emil was in that big estate, the patron surely wouldn't be able to touch him. But…

"Where is Emil?" "Oh don't worry he went out to buy ingredients for breakfast." His words were accentuated by the growl of his stomach. "I hope he hurries, I am hungry." He said unnecessarily. But he was right, I was hungry too.

As on cue, the door opened and Emil entered, a bag slung over his back. "Oh you're back." He commented casually, and dropped the bag on the kitchen table.

While he was busy preparing breakfast, Mathias and I started to pack the few belongings we had a task that barely took any time up at all. I looked at the two pathetically small bags that laid on the floor, after we were done. Was that really everything we owned?

As if he heard my thoughts, Mathias hooked an arm around my waist and said: "Don't worry I have enough stuff for the three of us, we can share." Grumbling, I swatted his hand away, I wasn't sunk so low that I would take alms from the likes of him. Oh hell, who am I kidding, I didn't have a chance, I had to depend on him. No matter what my pride would think of that.

By the time Emil was finished, I had my hands full on fending Mathias attempts on snuggling away. How could anyone be so cuddly? So I gladly accepted a plate and started eating. Emil was the better cook in our family; I was capable of creating only the most horrendous meals. So Emil had begrudgingly taken it in his own hands to protect his stomach from constant sickness.

Mathias seemed to enjoy the meal, too, but then again it could just be him stuffing his face with everything edible, so it was hard to tell.

After we were finished I washed the dishes and then put everything in the bags, which added at least a little volume to their contents. Then it was time to go, and I suddenly felt reluctant to leave this house, that was my home for almost my whole life.

I looked around one last time, savoring every last detail, as if I would never see it again. But that was unlikely; it was not as if we moved out of town. We could be back here, whenever we wanted. With one last glance, I stepped through the threshold to where the others were waiting and closed the door behind me. Emil had taken surprisingly calm to the change of lodgings, but he had never been as attached to this place as I had been.

A warm wind was blowing, rustling the leaves of the nearby forest and swaying the laundry lines back and forth, almost as if they were waving goodbye. It should only be temporary relocation, so why did it feel like the last time I would ever see this place?

I shook of that feeling and turned toward the path that led away and into the town. But this time we wouldn't walk into town, but take the fork to the mansion on the hill, overlooking the town.

It was the first time I walked this path, since the time my father had worked on the construction, and I had frequently visited him to bring him his lunch. That had been years ago, but I could feel the uneasiness approach, the further we came. Was this really alright? Emil and me, living in that very house that cost our father his life? But there was no helping it, and so I instead concentrated on my surroundings.

Mathias was babbling on and on about this and that, Emil was seemingly lost in his own little world, the puffin he had picked up the other day from who knows where, was perched on his head. Did puffins actually even live in this climate? Certainly not, but then, where did Emil get him from? Unwilling to save that puzzle now, I took in the scenery around me. Autumn was at its peak, the trees were bathed in color, and so was the ground besides the path. It was still decently warm, so we wouldn't have to worry for winter clothing anytime soon. But wait, we had Mathias now, so maybe it wouldn't be such a pain in the ass to take care of that after all.

"Oh and I forgot to tell you." Mathias' chatter suddenly broke through my intake of scenery, "My cousin will come to visit tomorrow, and he will bring his friend with him, and… oh wait I have told you that, haven't I? Oh dear, I can't remember, but it doesn't matter anyway, 'cause I told you know."

I couldn't say I was too eager to meet his cousin, he probably was as loud and annoying as Mathias, but I refrained from speaking my mind in favor of being polite. Mathias didn't even seem to notice our constant silence; he just commenced his happy chatter.

We followed the road until we came upon a well groomed pathway that led straight to the villas' entrance. It was more like an alley though, neatly aligned trees shadowed our approach. It almost felt like we were in a tunnel.

The mansion itself was impressive, all white marble, don't ask me how they got marble here in this remote place near the border, wide parks stretched put on either side, and a mighty balcony overlooked the front. There was a fountain right in front of the house, white angelic figures pouring water out of amphoras in an endless cycle.

I had only been here, when the house still was under construction so I had never seen it finished. I couldn't help but watch with wide eyes at the abundant display of wealth and power. Suddenly I felt small and insignificant, I didn't belong here. I would have stopped right then and there, had dragged Emil with me back to where we belong, but Mathias pulled me along relentlessly.

His grip was comforting, so I swallowed and walked up the wide marble steps that led to the entrance. Emil followed right after, looking almost bored, but I knew that was just a façade. Underneath he was probably in awe, just like me.

I almost expected to be greeted by servants, who would fuss over Mathias as soon as we entered, but to my surprise there was no one beyond the grand doors. Mathias just shrugged at my questioning look. "My father doesn't like the presence of too many servants, so we only have a few. And they are mostly hidden in the servant's area of the house. He also thinks that getting attended to all the time makes people weak. So basically I took care of myself all the time." He sported a proud grin at that, obviously pleased that he wasn't the 'spoiled brat' I had accused him of being.

I ignored him though and took a good look at my new home. As the outside the inside was just screaming 'wealth' at me from every corner. The carpet was thick and lush, the wood that furnished the walls was dark and smooth, the paintings adorning the walls were surely masterpieces and the giant candelabra that hung over the staircases leading to the upper floor glinted in what appeared to be pure gold. I would learn only later, that pure gold would have been too heavy so it was only gilded brass, but still.

We followed Mathias upstairs in what appeared to his room, where he deposited the bags he had been carrying the whole time and bid us to wait until he was back. He was going to see his father and convince him in allowing us to stay. I just hoped that his father would comply, or else we would have to return to our house, and then we would have been at just where we started.

I looked around uneasily. This room was just too big, and there was hardly any furniture. Emil had occupied the only chair, a luxury armchair, all plushy with red fabric and looking exceedingly comfort. According to the look on his face it actually was.

The bed also was enormous; it took up the most space by far, even before the giant of a wardrobe. The sheets were also red, a darker shade than the chair though. Heavy curtains lined the windows, ready to be pulled close and block out the sun at any moment. The floor was covered with a thick and soft carpet that almost swallowed up my feet and invited to just lie down and snuggle into it.

A bookshelf took up one side of the room, but since I couldn't read that didn't hold any temptation. Due to the lack of seating furniture, I sat down on the bed. Oh god, this was a real bed, with a real mattress and not just some straw stuffed in. I sprawled out on it with a content sigh and let myself sunk into the sheets. This was perfect.

"It's nice here." Emil said, and I just nodded, not caring if he could see me from his position or not. He seemed satisfied with that, though.

After a while Mathias came back, with an unreadable expression on his face. "Emil, why don't you go down and find us something to eat?" He suggested. "The kitchen is right from the staircase, it's hard to miss." Emil, even though we just had breakfast, got up and left the room. Obviously Mathias wanted some time to speak in private.

I rose from my comfortable position, lying on the bed; head supported by one propped up arm, to get a better look at Mathias. He closed in on me, falling heavily in besides me and resting his head on my shoulders. He seemed exhausted, but I couldn't say why.

"Everything okay?" This time it was me, who asked.

"Mhm."

"Did your father agree?"

"Mhm."

That hadn't been much of an answer but I chose not to inquire further. Instead I leaned my head on his, and said what had been on my mind for a long time now.

"Mathias?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

...