"Haven`t you heard?" Sirius retorted, recovering quickly. "I`ve officially been blasted out of the family."
"Well, I certainly hope that doesn`t mean you`re too poor to replace the perfume you mutilated on your way in."
Harry`s eyes drifted over Narcissa`s shoulder, taking in the silver and green, moving poster clad walls before settling on the nightstand where, among bottles and bottles of mysterious substances, the coveted mirror glimmered.
"At least I won`t have to rely on Mummy and Daddy`s money to buy it for me."
Narcissa scoffed. "Since when has Sirius Black ever worked a day in his life? I didn`t know slacking off and skiving classes was a profession. Unless you`ve started charging now for all those broom closet excursions?"
"Why don`t you ask your roommate? I bet you`ve been wondering why she`s been out so late all week…"
"You`re such a disease. Ugh, and I let her borrow my jumper yesterday!" She physically recoiled, and Harry could see a frightening resemblance to Malfoy in her scrunched features. "What do you want, anyway?"
Sirius chuckled, taking the gap in the doorway as an invite further into his cousin`s room. "Good to see you`re still as easily ruffled as ever, Cissy. Don`t worry, I don`t go for snakes. Well, rarely."
Annoyed, Narcissa crossed her arms and her resemblance to her future son exponentially increased. "Same question, less of a chance of you getting out in one piece after answering."
"Ooh, princess is gonna call for big sis and the boys to come rescue you?"
"You know I don`t need them to make you squid food."
"Your sister misses you." Said Sirius, changing the atmosphere in the room dramatically. Suddenly, Harry felt like an intruder, much more than he`d been when they were caught, anyway.
To her credit, Narcissa didn`t pull any crap with pretending she didn`t know who he meant.
"She wishes you`d visit her."
"If I was Bella, here`s where I would say that I wish she hadn`t been so selfish." Narcissa muttered.
"What about you?"
Glancing quickly at Harry, as if to remind herself not to show emotion in front of a plebian, Narcissa shook her head. "If she wants me to visit her, she really is selfish. She knows full well I`ll end up just like you two if I as much as set foot on her front porch."
After a hollow moment, Sirius finally decided to answer her question. "Can I have your mirror?"
"Fine. But if you take it, you only get a two minute head start."
Sirius grinned, and as he reached for it, stance of a sprinter, he locked eyes with Harry. "Ready?"
"Do it."
As soon as Sirius`s hand wrapped itself around the mirror, Harry was out the door, his godfather catching and then matching his pace with ease.
"Wouldn`t it be less suspicious if we walked this part?" Harry huffed, the thought just occurring to him.
"Only if arising suspicion was a concern. Thanks to my lovely ex-cousin, I believe by the time we actually run into anyone, the point will be moot."
As Sirius had suspected, Narcissa`s concept of time didn't quite match up to accepted standards, and by the time they reached the common room, the only door back to the rest of the castle was guarded by two goons that had to be ancestors of Crabbe and Goyle. In the passage behind them, footsteps pounded on the murky stone, counting down the seconds until their capture.
"Come on," Sirius commanded, dragging Harry past a couch he`d later sit on with Ron while trying to see if Malfoy was the heir of Slytherin. "I hope you can swim."
Before Harry could even question what degree of insanity his godfather was planning, Sirius hip-checked the ancient glass and pulled Harry with him into the dank and surely squid-infested lake.
Unprepared for this sudden transition, Harry forced himself upwards, not thinking about the half-lung of air he`d managed to get before being dragged in, not thinking about how if Sirius lost the mirror even the smallest homes of returning home the short way would be gone, not thinking about how much he wished Dobby was there to give him some gillyweed for this, not thinking anything except up, up, up.
Somehow, after what could have easily been thirty years, Harry broke through the surface of the water. In, out, in, out. Where was Sirius? Looking for any other signs of life above the water, Harry paddled back towards the castle lights and the welcome safety of the shore. A loud splash erupted behind him as he collapsed on the grass.
An oblong object landed on the ground next to Harry, and from the (now not unwelcome) fire coming from the list, he knew it must be the mirror.
"What took you so long?" Harry managed to pant.
"Just making sure those snakes actually had a hydro-repellant spell in place on those windows."
Staggering up, Harry scooped up the mirror and started towards the castle, a shivering Sirius not far behind him. Thankfully, the door by the greenhouses was unlocked, and nobody seemed to be around to witness the two sopping wet Gryffindors (because, according to the mirror, their Slytherin disguises seemed to have worn off somewhere in the chase) trudging through the halls.
So they thought, anyway, until something whacked them both from behind.
"Sirius Orion Black! Of all the miserable, selfish….!"
"Oi!" Turning to their attacker, Sirius` belligerent expression turned to a scowl as he registered the familiar figure of Lily Evans. "Merlin, Evans, easy with the compliments! Who told you my middle name, anyway? I bet it was Remus, that treacherous bas-"
"You really couldn`t have chosen literally any other girl in the school, could you? Ugh, I know you`re probably as clueless as always, but honestly, could you go without breaking half the school`s hearts for just one day?"
"Whom did I fault this time, O Lilykins?"
"Alice."
"Alice?" He repeated, genuinely puzzled. "I don`t remember breaking Alice`s heart. Isn`t she dating Whatshisface?"
"Well, all thanks to you, she and 'Whatshisface' are no more. After your little stunt at dinner, asking Marlene to the party and all, Marlene just had to go dump Aaron, who asked Hadley to go with him instead, which caused Stupidface-Ryan to evidently get jealous and realize he had a thing for Hadley, and so you`re the reason why I had to just run into my best friend`s cheating boyfriend in a broom closet during my prefect rounds!" Lily roared, punctuating her words with another whack to Sirius` head before blindly charging off.
"Lils, don`t be mad at me…!" Sirius called, dripping after her and subsequently leaving Harry to his own devices.
Figuring this would probably be a good time to drop off the first two items with Madeline, Harry pulled out the Marauder's Map and started to search for her when he noticed Alice Prewitt frozen at the top of the grand staircase, not ten feet from where Lily had just declared the ill-conscience of her boyfriend.