A/N
Wow thank you for all your reviews, they actually inspired me to write a second chapter :)
The song to this chapter: /watch?v=xuiSFDuo3ac
Btw. There is another song hidden in the chapter. If you can all guess which one and by whom, I might write another update ;)
Thank you BETA :D
Enjoy!
Long Distance
-2 months later-
Holding her mobile phone in her right hand Jenny walks restlessly around the various rooms in her parent's London house. She continually looks at the screen of her phone silently willing it to ring. Ever since getting back to London the only time she felt alive was when she talked to Emma on the phone or through Skype. Her life was miserable; she missed Germany and she missed Emma so much that she felt she could barely breathe. She didn't sleep very well and she hardly ate anything anymore.
She had started on the apprenticeship that her father had set up for her. She did what was expected of her. She showed up on time, did her job and went straight home every day after work. Her colleagues had asked her out for an after work night-cap a couple of times but she had politely declined and hurried home to wait for Emma to call or message her. She didn't enjoy the work, but she did it to please her father, perhaps eventually he could see that she had matured and was capable of taking care of herself again, so she could move back to Emma in Germany.
She let out a sigh as she thought of Emma, the woman that stole her heart so completely. Oh god she missed her so much. She still didn't know if she hade made the right decision by letting Emma talk her into not breaking up and trying to have a long distance relationship. For a moment she got lost in her thoughts thinking back on that horrible day when she had called Emma and asked her to come over so they could have a talk.
- Flashback begins -
She had decided to break up with Emma; she couldn't handle the thought of not being near her everyday. It was the worst thing she ever had to do. She would never forget the look on Emma's face when she had ended it and told her everything. It absolutely broke her heart into a million pieces to see Emma break down and cry. They had both sat on her bed crying and holding each other seeking a bit of comfort from each other.
After a while Emma had stopped crying but had stayed in Jenny's arm just sitting there in silence. Suddenly she had stood up and paced back and forth in Jenny's room saying "no no no no no Jenny".
Turning around Emma had looked at Jenny with a very determined and stubborn expression Jenny had only seen a couple of times throughout their relationship. "No Jenny I won't let you decide that it is over between us like that. Not without talking to me first. I love you and you love me. It is not over Jenny. We can fight this. We can survive this. We can survive the distance. It is going to be hard, but we can. We just have to show your parents how strong you have become and perhaps they'll let you come back to start uni next year. Jenny it is not over, I won't allow you to break up with me." Emma said determinedly as she looked Jenny right in the eyes.
Jenny had tried to tell Emma that it was impossible but Emma wouldn't hear of it. She had cut Jenny off and asked her if she still loved her.
"Yes" she had admitted to Emma and told her that she still loved her with every fiber of her being.
Determined Emma had walked over to Jenny again and sat down taking Jenny's hands in hers. "Good because I also love you with all of my being. You are my dream girl, my life and my future. Jenny we both love each other and after all we been through I'm not letting you end this. We can do this. Together we can be strong and get through this. We love each other and that is all that matters. Ok?"
Jenny had been lost for words after Emma's love declaration and the faith that Emma showed in her and their relationship caused Jenny to tear up. This time they weren't only sad tears but also happy tears from again realizing how much Emma loved her.
Emma had wiped away the tears with her hands and cupped her face before giving her a long, searing kiss that expressed all of the love she felt for Jenny. The kiss took Jenny's breath away and she realized that her heart wouldn't bare it if she left the blonde.
They had sat kissing and hugging for a while, all the while Emma reassured her that they could do it and that their love for each other was strong enough to last.
Exhausted and emotionally drained they had fallen asleep in each other's arm after agreeing that they were going to get the best out of their last month together in Cologne.
- Flashback ends -
Looking at her phone yet again for god knows how many times that afternoon, she sighed when she realized Emma was late. Emma usually would have called or texted her by now. Impatiently she pressed Emma's number hoping she would answer. "Hey how ya doin'- Sorry ya can't get through -Why don't you leave your name -And your number - And I'll get back to you" she heard through the phone.
Just to hear Emma's singing voice made her smile "Hi honey it is just me, calling to talk, call me back when you get the message. Miss you a lot".
She hung up and sighed as she thought that she would just have to wait for Emma to call her back. She knew that Emma had vocal rehearsal this afternoon and it must have dragged out.
She lived for her talks with Emma now, but deep down talking with her also hurt her a bit. She felt a bit envious of Emma, when she excitedly told her about all the things she experienced at uni and all the new people she had gotten to know. She wished that she could be with Emma and experience it with her. Last time they had talked Emma had told her about a girl whom she was doing a song with for one of her musical classes. She couldn't help but feel a bit jealous. She wanted to be that girl. Deep down she feared that Emma would eventually get tired of their long distance relationship and find someone else from her uni that shared her interest in singing and dancing. Jenny's biggest fear was loosing Emma. The thought of Emma being with another girl, made her heart constrict in her chest, as though someone's cold hands squeezed it tight.
She was sick and tired of this whole situation. She missed Emma so much that it physically hurt her all the time. She was sick of waiting. She felt her life was on stand still with no real meaning. All she lived for were the small moments when she had a little contact with Emma. Sighing she went into the living room and sat down by the piano yet again.
She had found that playing the piano and singing brought her some sort of comfort for a short moment. So she often found herself there playing and singing when she wasn't at work or talking to Emma.
Opening the case to the keyboard she closed her eyes and started to play the first thing that came into her mind.
"There's only so many songs
That I can sing to pass the time
And I'm runnin' out of things
To do to get you off my mind
All I have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face everyday"
She looked down at her phone at the screen photo of her and Emma together. It was taken the day they had gotten the good news that they both had been accepted into the University in Berlin. They both looked so happy. Emma was staring into the camera, while Jenny was looking at Emma and kissing her chin.
"With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
It's so hard, you're so far
This long distance is killin' me
I wish that you are here with me
But we're stuck where we are
It's so hard, you're so far
This long distance is killin' me"
"It's so hard, it's so hard
Where we are, where we are, you're so far
This long distance is killin' me
It's so hard, it's so hard
Where we are, where we are, you're so far
This long distance is killin' me"
"Now the minutes feel like hours
And the hours feel like days while I'm away
You know right now I can't be home
But I'm comin' home soon, comin' home soon
All I have is this picture in a frame
That I hold close to see your face everyday"
She hoped that she would come home to Emma. With Emma was the only place she felt at home. She had given up trying to talk and persuade her farther into letting her go back to Germany, so now she just hoped she could show him she was fully capable of taking care of herself and wouldn't fall back into her old ways.
"With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
It's so hard, you're so far
This long distance is killin' me
I wish that you were here with me
But we're stuck where we are
It's so hard, you're so far"
"Can you hear me cryin'?
Can you hear me cryin'?
Can you hear me cryin'?
Oh, oh, oh"
Tears started to run down her cheeks. She missed Emma so much. It tore at her heart not being with her, being able to hold her and kiss her everyday.
"With you is where I'd rather be
But we're stuck where we are
So hard, so far
This long distance is killin' me
I wish you are here with me
But we're stuck where we are
So hard, so far
This long distance is killin' me"
Jenny kept singing and playing, not noticing the figure standing in the door behind her watching her.
"It's so hard, it's so hard
Where we are, where we are, you're so far
This long distance is killin' me
It's so hard, it's so hard
Where we are, where we are, you're so far
This long distance is killin' me"
Unknown to Jenny her mother had watched her play and sing the whole song. It was breaking her heart to see her daughter struggling so much and being so unhappy. She didn't eat anymore; she had lost weight and was starting to look pale and with black lines under her eyes. She wondered if Jenny got much sleep because every night she could hear her daughter cry herself to sleep. Lately she had started to wonder if her and her husband had made the wrong decision making Jenny move back to London. Watching Jenny finish the song, she slowly walked away thinking to herself that she had to talk to Rolf about Jenny again. Perhaps they could figure something out to make Jenny happy again. Jenny's happiness was all that mattered she thought as she made a decision that she knew her husband wasn't going to like.
"There's only so many songs
That I can sing to pass the time"
Finishing the song Jenny sighed, closed the lid on the piano keyboard and wiped away the tears. Right as she was about to get up she heard the very familiar ring tone from her phone. Smiling she picked up her phone and answered it "Hi honey, how are you?"