Chapter Seven: Loving
"Edward, touch me," I beg, spreading my legs wider and pulling my left knee up. I'm flat on my back, with Edward leaning against my right side, and I'm hoping he knows what I mean by opening myself to him like this.
"I am touching you," he counters, twisting his palm around the head of my cock. He ducks his head and kisses me passionately, forcing his tongue into my mouth as he works his hand up and down my shaft.
"Mmmmm," I moan, lifting my head to steal one more kiss before he pulls away. "Need more, Edward, please."
We've spent six weeks doing a ton of making out and jerking each other off, but not much beyond that. I'm happy to go down on Edward on the regular, but he hasn't been able to return the favor. Earlier tonight he did try something new, dropping a few kisses up and down my shaft, and I was happy with the progress... even if he killed me when he pulled away.
I can live without blowjobs-for now-but I'm fucking dying to feel him inside me.
"How, Jake?" he asks, kissing down my shoulder. "How do you need me to touch you?" He makes it sound sensual, like dirty talk, but I'm pretty sure he's also asking for instruction.
"Inside me," I tell him, spreading my legs a little wider. He takes a deep, shaky breath, and his fingers fall away from my cock. I whimper at the loss, but he doesn't pull his hand away.
Instead he traces little circles on my inner thighs, teasing me there until my legs are fucking shaking. He drops his hand to cup my balls, weighing them in his palm and tugging them gently. He lets them go, starts to move lower, and I realize his hand is relatively dry.
"Wait," I tell him, pausing with a quick peck on his lips. I reach over the bedside table and pull the drawer open, grabbing a bottle of lube and a condom. I leave the condom on top of the table and hand the lube to Edward.
He takes it, but he's not looking at it. He's staring at the condom.
"Hey," I tell him, reaching up to cup his jaw. I turn his head away from my nightstand and force him to look in my eyes. "No pressure. It's just there if we need it. If we want to. Okay?"
"Okay," he says, leaning down to kiss me again. This time it's tender; an emotional thank-you-for-going-so-slow kiss.
He arranges himself so he's sitting upright, flips the cap open on the bottle of lube, and drizzles some onto his fingertips.
I wiggle in anticipation as he drops his hand again, and he smiles down at me and my desperation.
I feel two slick fingers circling, probing, and I tense up a little.
"Start with one, okay?" I remind him, and he chuckles.
"I know, Jake. Relax," he urges me, reaching up to squeeze my shoulder with his free hand. In all our hours of late night conversation, he's admitted to having (and enjoying) anal sex with girls, so I feel pretty good about letting him near my ass.
His hand on my shoulder drifts over my neck, my collarbones, my chest. The light, swirling touches make me shiver in anticipation, even as I feel the finger of his other hand start to press more firmly against me. I can't help but gasp when it slips inside; it's been so long since I've been filled there, and the fact that it's Edward, my Edward, makes it so much better.
"God, yes," I tell him, reaching up to touch his shoulder, his neck. I want to be touching him as much as possible, in every way.
"Feels good?" he asks, but he's smirking a little. I think Edward's been uncomfortable being the inexperienced one; only when he has me panting and cumming in his hands do I see the old, cocky Edward come back.
"Really good," I tell him, wiggling against his finger.
I'm about to beg for more, for a second finger, when I notice his movement slowing down. He's not sliding in and out anymore, just moving his finger inside me, wiggling it around. His smirk has disappeared and he has an intense look of concentration on his face-it's kinda funny.
"E, what are you doing?" I ask, trying to stifle a laugh.
"I'm trying to find it," he says, swirling his finger around. I recall Edward's fascination with the idea of the prostate-he told me that he's never played around and tried to find his own, so he had no idea how good it can feel. Last week, instead of trying to explain the feeling, I pulled up a video on my laptop of a guy having a screaming orgasm without his dick ever being touched. Edward's eyes turned into saucers as he watched the man beg, scream, and cry in pleasure.
"Try to touch me here," I guide him, resting my finger against the base of my cock. His finger starts to slip out, and I correct him. "No, inside. Just pretend like our fingers are magnets."
He gets it then, and starting exploring again.
"It feels like a little bump, I guess, like a ball," I guide him, moaning as I feel a second finger start pressing against me from the outside. "You'll know it when you- oh, fuck!"
He found it.
"Right there?" he asks, his face lit up with a grin.
"Yes," I hiss, my hand drifting to my cock. I wrap my fingers around it, but Edward swats my hand away.
"No," he says, "I wanna play." He pushes a second finger inside and I wince at the good, tight, stretchy feeling. He works both fingers in and out, hooking them slightly so they drag against my prostate, making me moan like a little bitch.
He's getting closer to me as he works, no longer sitting upright. His long, lean body is pressed up against mine, and I can feel his dick pressing against my leg.
"God, E, I can feel how fucking hard you are," I groan, lifting my head a few inches so we can kiss. There's nothing hesitant about this kiss, it's deep and thorough and so fucking satisfying.
Edward is grinding against my thigh, slowly, and I can feel his fingers moving apart, scissoring inside me, stretching me. Preparing me.
"Baby, do you want to?" I ask him, wrapping an arm around his neck and pulling him close. "Do you want to fuck me? It's okay if you're not ready... but God, I fucking want you."
"I want you, too," he says, nodding his head. A soft lock of his hair brushes against my forehead, and he tilts his head to kiss me sweetly. "It feels... right."
My heart fucking swells, knowing he's happy with me, with us, with this.
Edward pulls his fingers from me, and I wince at the loss. I feel way too empty now. He leans across to grab the condom from my nightstand and flops onto his back to open it. I kiss him as he rolls it down his cock, covering his neck and his chest in little kisses. I grab the lube away from him and pour some into my palm before wrapping it around his cock.
He grunts and gasps as I stroke him firmly, coating him with lube. "Jake, how do you want... how do you want to do this?" he asks, turning on his side to face me.
"Just like this," I tell him, letting go of his dick and urging him up. He complies, climbing over my leg and settling between my knees.
"Do you need more?" he asks, his still-slick fingers sliding between my cheeks.
"No, I'm ready," I tell him. "Just... just kiss me, again," I beg, hoping it doesn't sound too pathetic. He doesn't laugh at me, though, or blanch at my request. He bends over, his slick cock brushing against mine, and kisses me fiercely.
I can feel the emotion in it, and it chokes me up.
He kisses me for so long that I wonder if he's forgotten what we're doing here.
When he pulls away, finally, he rests his forehead against mine for a moment, breathing heavily. "Jake," he says. "Jake..."
He's nervous.
"It's okay, baby," I tell him, stroking his cheek. "We can go slow. Or we can stop, we don't have to do this," I assure him. My dick is protesting that idea, but I know we'll regret it if we rush things.
"I've just never..." he says, shaking his head slowly, his nose brushing mine. "I've never done this with someone that means so much to me. With someone... that I love." My heart lurches at his confession. I didn't think this moment could be any better, any more perfect, but it is-I've never felt more sure that we're meant to do this. To love each other this way.
"It'll be so good, Edward," I promise him, blinking away my tears. "Everything with you feels perfect. Amazing. Every kiss," I tell him, pressing my lips to his cheek. "Every touch," I add, letting my fingers grip his shoulder and then trail lightly down his back. "Everything about you." I punctuate that by thrusting my hips up against his, and he groans as I move against him.
"So good," he echoes, kissing the corner of my mouth before he leans back, sitting up on his knees. He looks down and lines us up, scooting forward just an inch before pressing the head of his cock against me.
He watches, fascinated, as his dick pushes inside me. I can't tear my eyes away from his face, watching him bite his lip as we come together.
"Christ, Jake, you're so fucking tight," he says, reaching up with one hand to push the hair out of his eyes. He's sweating with the effort of going so slowly, of pushing into me an inch at a time.
"You feel perfect, baby," I tell him, spreading my knees a little wider for him.
He stays on his knees until he's fully seated, until every inch of him is inside me, and then he falls forward to kiss me again. His kisses are sloppier this time, desperate, needy.
"C'mon, please," I beg him, shifting my hips underneath him. "Fuck me, Edward. I need you to."
He groans and drops his head against my shoulder.
"It's too good, it's too much," he says. "I'm gonna cum so fast."
"It's fine, E, it's fine. Don't worry about that. I want you to feel good," I promise, running my fingers through his hair. "Just please, just... fucking move, please?"
Edward lifts himself up a little them, resting on his left elbow and gripping my shoulder with his right hand. He pulls back slowly, and I watch his eyelids flutter as he feels my body trying to hold him in.
"Fuck," he groans, pushing back in slowly. Too slowly, for my taste-it's like fucking torture-but I know he needs to go at his own pace.
He moves just like that for a few minutes, slowly and carefully, with his face buried against my shoulder. It feels good, but it's not enough.
"Edward, I need you to... I need it harder, baby, please," I beg, trying fruitlessly to speed up our rhythm. I don't have any leverage like this, though, and I'm just straining against him.
"Harder?" he says, sitting up on his knees again. "Or faster?"
"Yes," I answer, nodding very seriously. He smiles, resting his hands on top of my knees.
"Like this?" he asks, thrusting into me, taking my breath away.
"Fuck, yes," I tell him, gasping and reaching down to wrap my fingers around my cock.
Edward likes harder. He relaxes a little when he realizes he's not going to blow his load immediately, and I get to watch his muscles tense and flex as he puts some force into his thrusts.
"Am I hitting it?" he asks. I tilt my head in confusion, and then I realize what he means.
"No, baby," I answer, honestly. "You would know."
He frowns and his rhythm falters just a little.
"It's okay, though, it's okay. It still feels good, it feels amazing," I assure him. But he's fucking determined.
He hooks his elbow under my knee and pushes it back, folding it up against my chest. He leans backwards and tilts himself forward, trying different angles, watching my face.
"Holy shit!" I yelp, bucking my hips against his. He's found it; the perfect angle, the perfect position. I can feel every inch of him sliding in and out of me, and the thick head of his cock nudging my spot with every thrust.
"That's it, isn't it?" he gasps, panting with exertion and excitement.
"Yes, oh fuck, yes," I moan, my hand flying faster over my own cock, swollen and needy and about to erupt. "Gonna make me cum, baby," I warn him, sucking in a deep breath.
"Me too," he says. "Fuck. Me too, Jake. Fucking cum with me, please, " he begs, slamming into me over and over again. I couldn't hold off if I tried.
I can feel my own cum spilling out onto my hand and my stomach, but the orgasm feels like it's coming from deeper inside me. It's like my whole body is shaking, tensing, exploding. I can hear my own voice but I have no idea what I'm saying-my brain seems to have temporarily shut down. All I can feel is Edward over me, inside me, on top of me.
He says my name when he cums. Screams it.
When it's over, when we're both spent and sweaty and sticky, he pulls out and collapses on top of me.
"Wow," he says, his face buried in my shoulder again.
"Yeah," I answer, not able to find the words to tell him how I feel. Not just yet.
He rolls off of me, onto his back, and my body follows him automatically. I curl into his side and he tucks me under his arm, holding me close. We lie like that for a few minutes, until we both catch our breath. Edward strokes my back lazily and I drop tiny, reverent little kisses on his chest.
"It's definitely better," he says, finally, breaking the silence. He kisses my forehead, and I look up at him.
"With a guy?" I ask.
"With you," he says. "With someone I love," he clarifies, his eyes flickering around my face. He looks really fucking vulnerable, and I realize that I didn't say it back to him before. I feel like I've been loving him so long he should just know. I think those words a thousand times a day.
But he doesn't just know. He needs to hear it, too.
"I love you," I tell him, tracing his lips with the tip of my finger.
They curl up slowly, into my favorite smile.
"Love you too, Jake," he says.
A/N: Soooooo. A couple of big moments here. What did you think?
Reviewers will get a teaser for chapter eight.