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THE WRONG PONY

"To know love is to know the sacrifices which eternity exacts from life."

John Oliver Hobbes

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"So that was when you met the princess. Wow."

"Yes. 'Wow' indeed. She taught me all sorts of things. I didn't know names or patterns or anything of the kind because those are all attempts to create order out of chaos."

The pony sits back, taking it all in. "So you were the first thing to exist, then?"

I shrug. "Something like that, I suppose. It's impossible to truly explain. Really, I am more than this form, than my tricks and my ambitions. Those all came with time, because why would I have need for tricks or ambitions when I was All That Is?"

"Wow," she says again. There's a pause. "So I guess I have you to thank, then, for my own life."

I was not expecting that, and am caught off guard. "Oh, well," I reply, thoroughly befuddled by her statement. "I suppose I may have set things off, possibly, but they worked on their own quickly enough. Really, you should probably be thanking Celestia."

The pony's head drops, her mane limp with sorrow. "Yeah…" she says sadly, and tears pool on her cheeks. "Princess Celestia…"

I frown and, after a moment's hesitation, put my lion paw on her back. "Twilight," I say, "I'm sorry. None of this should've happened to you. It should've been me alone, here, like it used to be. You should never have been roped into… this kind of immortality."

"I miss her so much," sobs Twilight, leaning into me. "Why did she have to go? Why couldn't it have been me?"

Because all order has ended. I consider for a moment what eternity with Celestia would be like. I always considered this as the possibility that would be. Instead of always at war, like before, perhaps after what happened, we could have been friends. Order and Chaos together in harmony—but of course, that goes against our natures. We would have destroyed each other in the end, as I always assumed.

Never, though, did I expect it to be Twilight instead.

"I am glad it is you," I tell her, and the words are out of my mouth before I am aware that I even thought them.

The pony sniffs, looks up at me. "What?" she asks, as bewildered as I. "Why?"

I clear my throat awkwardly. "Well, I don't know. You are about as boring as Celestia was." I add my characteristic levity to my tone, hoping to cheer her with the old me. "All your silly rules and order… nobody wants to hang around for eternity with Lawful Good people, you know."

"You aren't glad it's me," she insists bitterly, though she is sounding more like herself with every word. "Me or Celestia. There's only one pony you wanted."

"Don't—" I hiss, my voice catching in my throat. "Don't—I thought we already established that we wouldn't talk about her!"

"And we won't." Twilight turns her head away. "Can't you do something fun? What about chocolate rain? You haven't done that in ages."

I scoff, still smarting at the mention of—don't even think about her. "Chocolate rain? Why, Twilight Sparkle. You've always hated my chocolate rain. And besides, where would the rain go? It certainly wouldn't fall. Things don't work like that when there is no orientation."

"So make it fall," she snaps. "I'm tired of you saying nothing can happen anymore. You just told me the story of how you basically invented the universe. If your story is true, I find it highly implausible that you don't have the ability to do anything now."

"How do you know?" I bark back. "Maybe I made all that up just to cheer you up. Maybe I've just been lying this whole time. How would you know the difference? Why would you trust the master of chaos and deception?"

It's Twilight's turn to scoff. "Please. As if I have a choice?"

"As if I have a choice?!" I repeat at her. "I simply can't do the things I've done in the past! Not anymore."

"You won't, you mean," she corrects me sharply.

My lip curls. "For someone who needs my friendship so desperately, you sure aren't being a very sympathetic friend!"

"I'm sorry that you're here with the wrong pony!" she shrieks, red in the face. "I'm sorry that I'm not her, that it's me and not her, but that's the way things are. What would you have me do? Sit here and mope around with you for eternity? I lost her too, you know!"

I turn away. "It wasn't the same for you. You had all the friends in the world. You're the Princess of Friendship! And you had a family, and people you loved who loved you."

"Yes, and I lost every single one of them!"

"Well, I only had her! Ever, in all of my life, since the beginning of time, it's only ever been her for me. And I lost her." I feel the weight of the words in my throat and behind my eyes, and I can feel my whole body heating with the agony. "Why would you ever think I would feel like getting up to my old tricks? Making chocolate rain or making stars—why would I want to do any of that when I know none of it will return to me my only friend?"

"Aren't I your friend?" she asks, her voice breaking. "You didn't have only her. You've had friends. You have me. You've had the Princess—"

My eyes go wide and my body suddenly cold. I whirl on her, expecting to explode, but my words come out between my teeth, through a layer of pain. "You think Princess Celestia was—was my friend?"

For once, she's momentarily speechless. She averts her eyes from my gaze, bites her lip. Then, weakly, she asks, "Wasn't she? In the old times?"

Wasn't she? In the old times?

You've had the Princess…

All at once, I feel my age and my timelessness crush onto me. I slump down and heave a heavy sigh.

There's silence.

I feel Twilight more than see her as she moves close to me, puts a hoof on my arm. "Tell me about it. Please."

I comply. What else is there to say?