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Warning this chapter contains Poop. Stinky poop.

Thorin reached down scooping the now screaming Kili in his arms. He held him close whispering in his ear. "I'm so sorry Kili. I didn't mean to. Please forgive me." But Kili continued to cry loudly. "Suhhh, baby it's alright." He jiggled Kili, and gave him little kisses, as he'd seen Dis do this to calm the boys so he gave it a try. He looked around for anyone who could help him. But there was no one. He was on his own. But he already knew that.

"Kili?" Fili came wobbling in the living room worry all over his sick face. "What happened uncle?"

Thorin was bouncing Kili in his arms trying to calm him. He could see a red mark on his little forehead. "He fell." Dropped was more like it.

The one thing Dis had warned him about not to do. From the moment the little ones were babies she always feared he would drop them. And now he had and he would not tell her in fear of never seeing them again.

He looked down at Kili brushing his bangs from his small face. The redness that was almost in the middle of Kili's head was starting to grow. "O boy." No it couldn't be swelling up. How would he hide this? Dis was sure to see it. What if Kili was seriously hurt? Maybe he should take him to a healer.

"Let me see." Fili said tugging on the end of Thorin's long shirt.

Thorin bent down hoping Fili's presence would help calm his little brother. But then he remembered the smell. The burning smell that he smelt just before Kili fell off his lap. He looked towards the kitchen, thick gray smoke was coming out in puffs. "Durin!"

He handed Kili off to his brother running to the kitchen. The chair he had been sitting in was now in flames. The soup was no more for it had bubbled out of the caldron and flames surrounded it. The grease from the chicken that was in the soup must have helped aid the fire.

Thorin looked around for the bucket of water he knew was in the kitchen just for this purpose. He looked all over the place for it but the only thing he could find was the cloth that covered the table. He grabbed it pulling it off not caring about the unlit candles and flowers that were resting on it.

He wadded it up smacking it against the burning chair hoping for it to burn out. But then the cloth went up in flames causing Thorin to throw it to the ground. He stomped on it until it was nothing but black ash, the chair still burning hot. The room smelled so bad he started coughing. He ran out the door and yelled at the first Dwarf he saw, to go get water and lots of it.

He turned and bumped into Dwalin. Thorin stood there with smoky face, his hair singed on the ends. Dwalin smacked at it and waved his hand in front of his face.

"What's' going on, Thorin?"

"Oh, a little mishap in the kitchen. Don't you dare mention it to the others." Thorin was embarrassed that he didn't know how to take care of his nephews the right way

"Ah, did you burn your biscuits?" He said with a smirk.

"No!, come on I could use the help. You do the kitchen I'll take care of the boys." Thorin was glad he was able to get out of fixing his kitchen mess.

Dwalin came in and headed to the kitchen, glancing at the crying Kili that Fili had wrapped in his arms. He looked in the kitchen. 'Dis is going to kill you. The walls are sooty, and there's burnt stuff everywhere.' He smiled as he began to put out the rest of the fire. He found the bucket in a corner behind a chair with water and used that.

Thorin went over to Kili, knelt down beside him. "Kili?"

"Uncle, he has a bad boo boo. Fix it, you can do anything just like mama." Fili coughed at the smell that drifted from the kitchen.

Thorin looked at Fili. "I'll try." He turned to Kili. "Come here little one. "He pulled him to his chest and hugged him. "I'm going to fix it." 'He just hoped he could. "I need to get you little ones out of here."

Thorin didn't want to take a chance that the smoke might hurt his nephews. Kili's crying had come to an almost stop and Fili's face was still pale

Thorin picked up both of his little ones and carried them out the front door. He wasn't that far away when he heard a sound. It was squishy wet sound and it was long and dragged out. He looked between his two nephews. "Please tell me that was the forest."

But he knew what it was as soon as that horrific smell from an hour prior hit his noise. "For Durin sake! Fili!" Thorin looked down at his oldest nephew.

Kili let out a long laugh pinching his noise shut. "Fili." Kili stuck his tongue out at his older brother not feeling sorry for him in the slightest.

Fili's eyes were starting to get watery his cheeks flushing red. "I didn't mean too."

Thorin didn't want to change his (too old) nephew's cloths. "You ok?"

Fili nodded wiggling in his uncles arms. "It was just a toot. Sorry." Fili's face went from pale to red in his cheeks.

Flashback

It sent his thoughts back to years before when Fili was a baby. Ah that was not a good memory at all. It made him gag to think about it. Dis was making bread and had her hands in the dough and baby Fili was crying. She wanted the bread to be done before he husband got home so he would have something to eat.

"Thorin, change Fili for me, please."

Thorin looked up, and over at the baby laying in the cradle by the fire. "But Dis, I don't know how. I don't need to know how. I have no kids!"

"Well one day you will brother! And believe me you will. Practice now. Fili won't mind."

Thorin stood up and went over to the cradle and picked up the squalling red faced baby. He took him into the other room where a table was set up with clothes and a bowl with water and a towel. "Now what do I do?"

He looked down at Fili's cloth, it sure did look full. It hung way below his tummy as Fili kicked his legs crying. "You could help you know. Is this any way to treat your favorite uncle?"

He laid the baby down and pulled up his little gown. Then untied his cloth and pulled it down. "Ahhh. Where did that come from? That is the stickiest thing ever."

He pulled it off while holding Fili on the table. As he turned to dump it in the bucket he glanced behind him hoping Dis was there. She wasn't. He dropped it, then as he lifted his hand to grab a new cloth he saw it. The horror! He stretched out his hand as far away from himself as he could. He wiggled his fingers. Nasty black stuck to his fingers, and he just knew it would never come off. He could never eat with that hand again, or use it. Chop it off!

"NO!" He yelled. "I'm going to die of disease! Dis, help me!"

When Dis came running in she saw Thorin waving his arm around, eyes big as saucers and he was hopping.

"Calm down Thorin. You aren't dying. Unless I kill you. Now stop acting like your nephew. You've touched worse than that. Wipe a bit under your nose and you will soon not notice it at all." She came over and smacked Thorin hard on the back of his head. "Big bad Thorin, scared of baby poo."

"It's nasty. My hand…And I would not put that anywhere near my beard!"

"Thorin! Now I'll hold Fili you wash your precious hand, then you clean him up and then you can play with him." Thorin reached for the soap not wanting to touch the other hand. He could feel his sister's glare on the back of his neck. 'I'm never coming back here,' he thought. 'And I'm never going to have kids of my own.' He added to his thoughts.

The next day however he did come back to his sister house. His promise to himself not to come back died. He could never stay away from his sister and especially his nephew! Dis' husband worked a lot so it gave him an excuse it to come by and help. By the time Kili was born he had changing poopie cloths down pat. Even better than his sister! Or so he thought.

End of flash back

Thorin smiled down at his nephew glad he didn't mess himself. "Let's get you two to my place until your mother's house is clean of smoke and ash."

"Thorin?"

Thorin looked behind him nephews still in his arms. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of his sister. "Dis!"

"Why does my house smell like it was caught on fire?" Dis had her fist pressed against her hips and she looked pissed.

Hu-oh. What will Dis do?...Sorry to make that happen to poor Fili but I had to in order for Thorin to have his flash back. Hope you all laughed. Please help me get to 60 Reviews! I'll be so excited. More tomorrow. I am loving where this is going