A/N: This will be my last update before I will vanish for a few days for my Christmas holidays yay. I won't update for a while because of shitty internet connection but I will (hopefully) be writing a lot. So Merry Christmas to you all and if I don't update before then also A Happy New Year 3 I love all of you, your support keeps me going so at this point I want to say thank you to you all my wonderful readers.
Fröhliche Weihnachten und einen guten Rutsch!
As it turned out I indeed got a decent night's rest, only disturbed by Mathias' light snoring and an occasional shift of position. I knew that he was completely thrashed and unable to perform, but still I found myself a bit disappointed that he had just fallen asleep without touching me. I didn't really want to admit it to myself but I had looked forward to our first night under a stable roof. I wanted him to prove me that, despite all the change around us, some things stayed the same.
But in his alcohol intoxicated state there was really no point in trying anything and despite his promising words from earlier he had fallen asleep the moment he had hit the bed. I couldn't deny though that a good amount of sleep wouldn't hurt me, on the contrary, so I decided to get my share of love tomorrow.
I woke up the next morning to a warm and comfy feeling, and I just lied there for a few moments, trying to remember what I had dreamed about. It had been a dark dream full of fear and terror, but in the light of day, surrounded by warmth and the sureness of a warm body pressed up to me it was hard to recall the exact contents. Any lingering feeling of discomfort was chased away by the sun that shone into the room, engulfing everything in a soft glow. I had to blink a few times to adjust my eyes to the brightness. It was still early though, the sun stood only a few inches over the horizon.
Mathias lied sprawled out on the bed, most of the blanket had been snatched by me during the course of the night and so most of Mathias' body was uncovered. We both were still dressed though, but our clothes reeked like days old unwashed bodies and were actually quite uncomfortable to sleep in. At least we had gotten our shoes off when we entered the room.
According to his steady breathing Mathias was still asleep and I used the opportunity to just watch his face while he slept. I had never taken the time to truly look at him like this and even if I had, his face usually was split by that huge grin of his, to see him relaxed like this was a rare occurrence.
His skin tone was a bit pale and he had dark shaded rings under his eyes, but to me he still looked beautiful. I rested my hand in his wheat colored hair, entangling my fingers with the golden strands and feeling the warmth that radiated from the skin. Mathias sighed in his sleep and snuggled his head into the touch of my hand, lips twitching ever so slightly, betraying the hint of a smile.
I leaned over and kissed Mathias gently on the lips, only a light brush, careful not to blow any morning breath into his nostrils. Part of me wanted to wake him right now to start what he had promised me so boisterously yesterday, but I decided to let him sleep a bit more. He would have a massive hangover anyway so I'd better get a nice breakfast prepared for him.
But first it was time to get rid of these clothes, and get a bath while I was at it. I ventured into the adjacent room to find an empty tub and no means of getting any water directly. That meant I had to go downstairs and ask for some hot water, which would take a while to be ready, so for now I had to postpone my bath. I sighed inwardly but closed the door nevertheless, after I had collected my bag from outside. At least I could get a change of clothes.
It felt weird to pull a more or less clean shirt over my dirt covered skin but the smell of the fresh fabric made up for it. I would ask for a bit of lye soap later so I could wash our clothes, it was about time and we didn't have an endless stock of clean change.
It seemed like we would stay here longer than only for one night. At least there were no walls here so we could just run away without having to go through all those shenanigans. It was time that we got somewhere remotely safe so that I could stop wondering how to get out and away in the case of emergency.
I returned to the main room where I found Mathias half awake and blinking irritated at the sunlight that was invading his personal space. I considered for a second to be mean and draw open the curtains even further but I decided against it, after all we had been through I had decided to show Mathias the affection he deserved. Who knew how long, until we would be separated again by some cruel streak of fate?
I walked over to the window, careful not to make too much sound as I drew the curtains closed, banning the sunlight from intruding into my lover's comfort zone. Mathias groaned a bit and rubbed his temples, cursing under his breath, but he smiled weakly at me as I approached. "Morning babe." He winced at the sound of his own voice, apart from obviously being too loud it also was hoarse and a bit scratchy. Thank goodness did I only drink one beer yesterday.
"I'll get you some breakfast and water." I whispered, placing a tender kiss on Mathias' forehead before I gently pushed him down again and covered his body with the long abandoned blanket. Mathias grunted something unintelligible and closed his eyes again; cuddling deeper into the warmth of the covers and seemingly drifting back to sleep.
I left the room after I had contemplated a while if it would be necessary to put on my boots and in the end decided that I valued the overall wellbeing of my feet over the temporary relief that came with walking around barefoot. Blisters be damned.
I met Francis on the way down who had similar plans to mine regarding his hung over lover and so we decided to go together on the hunt for food and warm water. Emil was already in the tap room, feeding fish to his puffin and looking bored as usual.
The owner was busy polishing glasses behind the bar, but he nodded a quick good morning as we entered. "Breakfast is on the way." Emil informed us as he cleaned his hands from any fish residue. So then all that was left was warm water for cleaning.
"Is there any chance to get some hot water?" Francis asked after he sat down next to Emil. I remained standing since I planned to return to Mathias as soon as the breakfast was ready. "Sure, I'll send the boys up to your rooms if you like." The owner said and finished his business with the glasses.
A moment later the owner's wife entered with a kitchen girl in tow, carrying trays with fresh bread, cheese and water. I even spotted a few small and wrinkled apples. And as if he had smelled it, Tino entered the room through the main door, looking a bit tired but otherwise happy. It seemed Berwald was really on the way of recovery.
"I'll go tell the boys to get you water and then I'll be off to the village. I'll be back in a few hours so better tell your friend to be ready for the healer by then." The owner explained after he had instructed his wife on getting Berwald some food. "Could you look after Peter a bit? He really enjoyed your company."
I took a plate and stuffed a bit of bread, some cheese and an apple on it, along with a carafe of clear water and two mugs, before I followed the owner out of the room, trudging up the stairs to return to our room. Mathias was awake and hiding under the blanket, but I heard muffled groaning as I entered. I closed the door carefully and tiptoed over to place the plate and the water on the nightstand before I pulled the blanket off Mathias' hiding form.
"Come on, I brought you water, you'll feel better after you drink something." I filled a mug with water and handed it over to him. It took a while, but after some coaxing and the consuming of a shared breakfast, Mathias was well enough to bear a bit of sunlight. I opened the curtains a few inches to let natural light enter the room and returned to sit on the bed next to Mathias.
"I'm sorry babe." He suddenly said, playing with the hem of the blanket, tugging at a loose seam and twisting it until he almost ripped it off. "For what?" As far as I knew there was nothing he should be sorry for. "For being such an incompetent lover."
That came as a bit of surprise. Sure I had felt a bit disappointed when Mathias had chosen to drink himself stupid instead of keeping his promise of 'fucking me raw', but I could understand that he needed the relief from our stressful journey, to let loose for a while and forget all his sorrows. And I didn't want him to think that I was unhappy, I didn't want to appear clingy and needy every time he wanted to enjoy a good round of beer. I knew after all that in the end he would be there for me.
But it seemed that he had picked up on something. "What do you mean?" I asked, curious about what exactly he was referring to. "I promised you, didn't I?" Mathias finally freed the hapless seam string from his grip and turned to me, eyes still a bit dark from the aftereffects of alcohol but the glint in them was noticeable nevertheless. "To know that I failed to satisfy you is worse than any hangover ever could be." He continued; his hand now on my chin as he guided me closer to his face, parting my lips with his thumb to welcome in his tongue.
I inwardly smiled, I should have known that Mathias would find an opportunity to make true on his words, he was not the kind of man to let his lover wait. And as much as if I had preferred it to happen the night before, this was just as nice. Maybe it was even better, for yesterday we had been weary and tired from our journey and Berwalds condition had rested heavily on our conscience so it would have been a dampened experience at best.
But there was still something that was amiss. "Our bath water should be ready soon." I whispered once our lips had parted again, but we kept our faces close to breathe in the other's presence. Mathias lips curled into a grin and he pressed his mouth once more on mine and we just lied there for a felt eternity, relishing the feeling that we would be together for the rest of our lives, that after so many obstacles in our way we could be sure that nothing would ever tear us apart. And for a moment I saw us both, sitting in rocking chairs on a porch of a neat little house somewhere in the countryside, old as hell and looking back on a life that couldn't have been more wonderful.
"I can't wait." Mathias said and for a sweet wonderful moment I allowed myself to believe that he had shared my vision and was referring to that. "I want to grow old with you." I answered, raising my hand to cup Mathias' cheek, following the curve of his cheekbone with my thumb and watching the reflection of my smiling face in those sky blue eyes. "That would be nice…" Mathias returned my smile before his eyes grew distant as he thought about the future I had just laid out before us.
"We'll live in a house next to Berwald and Tino and we will have loud sex all day so that the two of them are crept out and get all jealous over us." I snorted and poked a finger in Mathias' side. "Is that all you can think of?" Mathias chuckled and caught my hand in his, raising it to his lips and kissing every digit, one after another. "Have you seen how hot you are babe? Of course all I can think of is having sex with you." I pulled back my hands and put on a mock pout. "Idiot." I grumbled, but I kept my smile to show that I wasn't mad at all. After all most of the time I wanted to have sex as much as he did.
"But really, you are gorgeous and I'm so glad to have you in my life. The only way I know to show you how much you mean to me, is making love to you." Mathias leaned over to place a kiss on my temple, his hand resting in my hair and playing with the strands that fell loosely, for once not held back by my cross shaped pin.
"That's not true, you tell me all the time how much you love me; how could I ever forget that?" If anyone it should be me who had to put more effort into showing the other their feelings. "It never feels enough though. You are the best that ever happened to me Lukas and I always feel like I couldn't possibly measure up to what you give to me." It was not often that Mathias was sincere like this so I appreciated it even more. Even though I didn't understand how he could ever get these misconceptions. He was perfect.
"What I give you? What about what you give to me? You saved me, remember?" I took Mathias hand and pressed it against my chest, right over my heart. "But I was too late." A look of sadness and guilt flittered over Mathias'face as he remembered our encounter after I had been raped. My heart clenched as I recalled how I had yelled at him and pushed all the blame on him only because I was not able to face the harsh reality. It had been one of the most horrible things that ever happened to me but it had only helped to show me how deep Mathias' love truly was.
"You weren't too late; there was nothing you could have done. And it doesn't matter anymore, I have you know and nothing is going to change that ever." I pulled Mathias into a deep kiss, his hand still pressed against my constantly beating heart, the warmth from his body and his lips flowing into me and making my mind float with happiness. "The present is all that matters." I whispered once the kiss was broken and looked into Mathias' eyes.
The moment was interrupted as someone knocked at the door. Mathias, who looked as if he had wanted to say something in that very moment, turned his head to look at the door. "Seems like our water is here." He murmured, brushing through my hair one last time before he got up and opened the door to the two men outside.
With combined effort we managed to get the pails of hot steaming water into the bathroom and filled them into the bathtub. It was far from being filled but I didn't want to wait any longer so this would have to be enough. After our romantic exchange on the bed I felt it was time for some solid action and it would even be better if both of us were clean.
It just hadn't felt right to have sex with all that dirt on us. Come to think of it, it might even be a good idea to change the sheets of our bed. And I wanted to wash our clothes anyway so I could just wash them myself.
The men left after we had reassured them that this was enough water and finally we were alone again. Suddenly it couldn't be fast enough to get all our clothes off, Mathias was a bit handicapped because of his still lightly throbbing head but he made up for it with virile vigor. He pushed me into the hot water and followed close behind, a piece of soap that came with the water in hand and with both of our bodies; the water level actually was high enough to be called a bath.
The water was a bit too hot for my taste but I soon lost myself in Mathias' touches as he scrubbed the soap over my body, taking care of every inch of skin almost meticulously. I leaned back against Mathias' chest as he reached forward to clean my chest, the soap teasingly brushing over my nipples until they both stood hard up into the air.
I lifted my arm to bury my hand in Mathias soft golden locks as he continued to wander down, rubbing over my stomach, over my hips, along my legs, but staying away from my body parts that craved his attention the most. His breath was hot against my ear as he pressed his face into my neck, kissing the skin gently and continuing his way down my legs.
"You're beautiful." He whispered, fanning out his other hand out on my thigh, his lightly tanned fingers dark against the paleness of my skin. "Like an angel." I sighed deeply; it felt indescribably good to finally feel the touch of my lover again, after all these times of danger and insecurity.
"I love you." I said, hand tightening its grasp in Mathias' hair and I closed my eyes to fully enjoy the extent of his caresses. "I love you too." Mathias kissed my earlobe, flicking his tongue out to play with the sensuous spot behind my ear and I moaned softly, encouraging him to go farther, to stop teasing already and to start giving me what I wanted.
"Don't worry babe, I'll make you scream soon enough…" The husky promise reverberated through the humid air, making my body shiver with want.
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