Moonlit Wishes
Book 2-Part 1
He didn't have much with him, just a carry on suitcase for the plane. He hadn't really cared what clothes he brought with him and he could buy whatever necessary toiletry items he needed when he got to wherever he was going. Right now all he wanted to do was get out of Salem especially after the confrontation with his father he had last night when Stefano had realized his future intentions.
His mind replayed their conversation and while he knew his father was upset with him he was going to do things his way without Stefano's help or rather his father's interference which usually made things blew up in his face after all things were said and done. He was doing the right thing whether his father believed him or not.
"You are gone for days from this house with no explanation and suddenly you are back being very cryptic about it all," Stefano had eyed his son with a scrutiny he was known for doing. A person didn't get to the station Stefano had in life by being obtuse. He could sense something was off but he couldn't quite place his finger on it.
"Father I'm a grown man and have been for quite some time. I don't have to explain my whereabouts to you or anyone else for that matter," EJ hadn't wanted to have this conversation with his father, but he knew he was going to find out about what he had decided to do sooner than later and even though EJ would had preferred later, he wasn't going to have that luxury.
"Still pouting over losing Taylor, eh? Son, I have told you she is nothing more than a dalliance and as for Nicole, she will forgive you given time."
EJ sighed this wasn't going to be pleasant; his father was so off base it wasn't even funny. Not that Stefano would find EJ signing over his rights to his children funny at all. EJ guessed livid was going to be more precise.
"Father you were right about Taylor, she was a distraction nothing more and now the fascination has faded away completely. I'm not upset over Taylor and me parting ways, and I could care less if Nicole ever forgives me." EJ readied himself because he knew he wasn't going to be able to get out of here without a full interrogation from his father and given his mindset to leave Salam as soon as possible he knew he was going to have to tell his father the truth before he left.
"EJ how can you say that? Nicole is like us; she will make a good wife to you this time around and would have already if you hadn't fancied yourself in love with her sister." Stefano shook his head; he loved his son with all of his heart and could see he just needed some guidance from him, some much directed guidance apparently.
"Father, I slept with her sister, if that wasn't enough I am one of the reasons their mother is dead and I don't want either one of them in my life. I am done with both of the Walker sisters once and for all," EJ rubbed his temple, all he had wanted was one drink to calm his nerves after packing a few meager possessions to take with him and he inwardly cursed himself for his bad timing.
"Bah, you can't be done with Nicole, Taylor I can see since she is a pale imitation of her sister, whereas Nicole is worthy of being your wife. She thinks like a DiMera and that is what you need in a mate."
"Like your ever faithful Kate?" EJ raised a questioning brow in his father's direction. "Thank you, but no. Nicole and I are going our separate ways; we are both in agreement on this matter. I never should have remarried her in the first place."
"You are not thinking straight. Having a wife will ensure you get your children back full time with you where they belong, that tramp Samantha does not deserve to raise Giovanni and Sydney."
It was no secret his father hated Samantha, but everything was already set in motion, he was not going back on his plans now no matter what his father might threaten to do when he found out the truth.
"Father, for the first time in a very long time I am thinking straight. Nicole and I have already signed the papers for our divorce and they are filed with the courts. I'm not going to live a charade any longer with her. We don't love one another and I'm not going to prolong the inevitable. It was only a matter of time before things fell apart and it is better for us both to be free from one another."
"Please tell me you aren't foolish enough to believe you and Taylor will reunite if your divorce from Nicole is final." Stefano started to raise his voice slightly, but it still wasn't at an ear splitting decibel yet.
"I've told you already Taylor and I are over, it never should have started," EJ knew no matter how he explained it, his father wouldn't understand because Stefano viewed people as possessions, himself included, although it had taken him years to fully realize it.
'No, it shouldn't have because you have messed things up in trying to secure the future of your children." Stefano started to pace around the room and EJ could see the wheels in his mind turning.
"Actually Father, the future of my children is my concern, not yours," EJ began.
And then it had all fallen apart from there, his father outraged and stunned when he had told him the truth of signing over all custodial rights to Samantha. He had endured what had to be one of the worst fits of rage ever from Stefano yet he had refused to back down and subsequently told his father if he tried anything to hurt Samantha or the people she cared about there would be no way in hell would ever see any of them again.
He took a deep breath, knowing it had been a necessity to hire the group of men he had to look after Samantha and the children while he was going to be out of the country. He had known before he had even gone to Justin with his plan how outraged his father would be with his decision, but it was for the best. They were discreet and highly paid for their services, a pittance really since this was his children and their mother of course, at least he would not be worried constantly and if trouble arose before his appointed time back then he would deal with that when and if the time came.
Stefano was upset and angry, but for now he had agreed to let him go his own way. Maybe his father had realized how dead set he was in this new plan for his life because no matter his father had threatened him with last night had done anything to change his mind.
He looked around the airport one last time, his mind wistful thinking off all he would be leaving behind and for a brief moment before he boarded the plane he thought he saw a flash of striking blonde hair in a distance, but he shook his head. No way would Samantha ever come after him and ask him to stay, she finally had her freedom and no doubt she was celebrating the fact.
He really needed to put away all those fanciful dreams of a life with her, and hopefully after this trip away he could finally put it all behind him. His letters to her had been a goodbye and he meant it. For once in his life he had put someone else first, he knew what it was to truly love someone because he had let go of everything he held dear in order to ensure their happiness.
He found his assigned seat on the plane, closed his eyes and readied himself for the long flight, hoping in time his heart would agree with his head. He was starting a new life, one without Samantha in it.
Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part II
Sami didn't know how long she cried, she cried until there were no more tears left, it was like a cleansing from within from her shed tears. She felt a sorrow in her heart. EJ had given her what she had asked for and even more.
Had she ever done that for another person? Could she give up everything? She didn't think so, maybe she didn't have it in her or maybe she'd never come close enough to examining her own emotions to see why she did the things she did.
So much hurt and pain, yet there had been good times too, the times she had chosen to forget. She remembered the laughter they had shared, the times when she had taken herself so seriously and EJ would come up with some kind of quip or given her one of his sweet smiles to take her mind off of things.
When was the last time she had really laughed? She couldn't even remember. This past year had been nothing short of hell on earth and when she looked back and honestly thought about it all, she wasn't happy.
Was this the life she wanted to live? For all her claims of loving Rafe, that he was her soul mate, it all seemed kind of hollow. Even with Rafe back, she never felt completely sure of things. Her life was a mess, she wasn't happy and she wanted something else, something different than the lot she had drew and was living right now.
She looked at the trunk, saw all the things inside, and felt EJ's pain as sure as she felt her own. EJ had been honest with her about everything and she was tired of living a lie, the lies she had created kept swarming and if EJ could come clean about his feelings, maybe she could start anew too.
And for the first time in a very long time, she wanted more out of her life, she didn't just want to exist and have a man to validate who and what she was, she needed to make some big changes, some drastic changes and while that thought nearly paralyzed her with fear, she could also feel something else trying to come to the surface too.
She felt a small hope, that maybe she could make things right. She arose, wiped the remnant of tears from her eyes and carefully placed everything back into the trunk. If EJ had the courage to face his demons, then she could and would do the same.
First off she needed to make amends, she knew EJ had told her goodbye in his last letter to her, but maybe she could find him before he was gone if only to ask for his forgiveness, like he had done for her. She needed to find the strength that she knew was inside her, she had lived with the lies and in the shadows for so long now that it would be difficult to face the truth about her, but at least she knew she had it in her to make the changes that were necessary.
She could eat and sleep later; right now she had more important things to do. Like learning how to live her life on her own terms, not guided by what a man said or did, but what was right for her and her children. She felt scared, but she knew she could do it. All she had to do was believe in herself and the rest would come in time.
Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part III
She grabbed her pocketbook, reaching inside it for her cell phone, hesitating a moment before turning it on, but knowing she needed to do so in case her grandmother had needed her for something. She looked at the display when it lit up, seeing she had several voice mails left on her phone.
She hit the play button, instantly hearings Rafe's irritated voice on the line.
Where in the hell are you Sami? I've been home for hours and you're nowhere to be found. I called Caroline and she said you asked her to let the children spend the night.
She clicked delete and listened to the next voice mail, no surprise Rafe again.
Don't you think you should have asked my permission before you dumped the kids off at Caroline's?
She hit delete again and looked at the phone, seriously he asked her that question? Like she needed his permission to do anything with the kids, they were her kids.
Then it hit her, they were her kids, this was her life and why in the hell was she allowing Rafe to control it?
Another message, did she even want to listen?
If you think you can just go running around all over town while I'm here waiting for you to come home you are sadly mistaken.
Delete again, she wasn't going to listen to anymore from him and she was glad she had turned her cell phone off last night while she continued to read the letters. She didn't need this kind of lecture from Rafe and so she deleted the rest of the messages without bothering to listen to the rest of them. She was going to speak to Rafe although she doubted he was going to like anything she said to him.
She put her cell phone back in her pocketbook, reached into the pocket of her blue jeans she was wearing and took the key EJ had given her. She'd lock up the house and come back later. Right now she needed to find EJ before it was too late.
EJ closed his eyes, he had fought off sleep for days, determined to get the letters to Sami completed before he left town and now that he was on the plane he felt himself drifting off. He just wished he could shut off his mind, the past few days reliving all the past had taken a toll on him and all he wanted was some peace.
He didn't know if he'd find peace when he reached his destination, but he surely wanted to try anything would be better than this huge hole in his heart where all he felt was loss and regret for so many things, he missed his family and wondered if he could ever get any of it back.
Could he ever get anything back? Was it even possible?
He had no idea as he waited for the plane to take off. Hopefully he'd find some kind of answers; he really needed some time to heal his broken heart. He was determined to put his life back in order and make something of himself, a man his children could be proud of to have for a father. They deserved so much more than what he had given them.
She hated coming here, if but she was determined to face the demons of her past this was the first step she needed to do. She had tried to call EJ, but only got his voicemail, sometimes she wondered why they even had cell phones neither one of them seemed to answer when someone called them.
Maybe EJ had turned his off too, like she had when she was reading the letters from him. Maybe he needed some time away from it all, but hopefully she would catch him before he left to god knows where and then it might be months before she had the chance to speak with him again.
She pounded on the front door, oh how she hated to be here, to come to this place to ask to see EJ, but she was going to have to swallow her pride about a lot of things if she wanted to make some changes in her life. She didn't know how long she knocked in between ringing the door bell. Did the DiMera's let go of their entire household staff?
Finally the door opened to reveal a somewhat slightly bewildered Harold standing there when he saw her standing outside awaiting entrance into the mansion. "Miss Samantha, what are you doing here?"
"I need to see EJ," Sami stated as she walked into the foyer, looking around hoping she would luck up and not have to see Stefano.
"I'm sorry, but…"
"Look it's really important or I wouldn't have come to the haunted mansion in the first pla…"
"What is this ruckus?" Stefano asked as he walked into the foyer from the library, his eyes instantly narrowing when he saw who was causing such said ruckus. "I should have known it would be the likes of you slinking around here. Harold haven't I told you not to let such trash into my home?"
"Stefano, I don't have the time or wish to waste what time I do have talking to you. I need to see EJ," Sami stressed wishing to herself for what seemed like the millionth time Stefano wasn't EJ's father.
"I don't care about your time or anything about you seeing as how you have wrecked my son's life once again, turned him against me, caused him to believe he needed to sign over custody of his children to you and forced him to leave town," Stefano sneered at her, wishing he could get rid of this annoying bitch once and for all, but knowing if he did he would never get another chance to repair the damage she had caused this time to bring such a rift between he and EJ.
"He hasn't left yet has he?" Sami asked, her pride be damned, she needed answers and apparently Stefano knew where EJ was and she didn't.
"I've said too much, more than you deserve to hear," Stefano waved her off with his hand ready to make his exit from her.
"Please Stefano, I need to speak with him," Sami reached for Stefano's arm, hating to ask him for this small favor and having to touch him even more, but she was desperate to see EJ, she needed to talk to him, to tell him she understood why he had done the things he did.
"I need my grandchildren back in my family too, but it looks like we can't always get what we want," Stefano grumbled as he shrugged off her hand and left the room, leaving Sami and Harold standing there by themselves.
She was going to remain calm, it was apparent Stefano was not going to tell her anything and she wasn't going to concede letting him see the children in order to get a location for EJ. She'd find another way somehow.
She took a deep breath and turned on her foot ready to walk out the door when Harold quietly said, "Miss Samantha, while I know it isn't my place to say anything, I was the one who instructed Chance to ready the limo to take Master EJ to the airport."
Sami's face broke into a bright smile and she quickly hugged Harold to her, "Thank you Harold. Thank you so much."
And then she was out the door, hoping she'd make it to the airport in time.
Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part IV
She drove like a madwoman, well most times she drove like that anyway, but today it was very important she got to where she was going. If one of her daddy's patrol men tried to stop her she would just outrun them, she didn't have time to stop explain why she was going way too fast for conditions, she had to get to the airport before EJ left.
Luckily she made it to the airport in record time without having to deal with any of the Salem PD trying to pull her over for a traffic ticket. She quickly pulled into a makeshift parking space, she didn't have time to try and find a proper one, she'd deal with that later, and right now she had to find EJ.
She ran through the corridors, looking for the face she knew so well, but all she saw were strangers, she thought it would be easy to spot him, after all EJ was usually one of the tallest people even in a crowd, but she didn't know where he was going and she didn't have time to try to explain to someone why she would need to page him.
She thought she might have seen him as she strained her eyes, it could be EJ, but he was so far away and for a moment she thought he might have seen her too, but then he turned away and he was gone from her sight.
She sprinted, ran until she got a hitch in her side and inwardly cursed herself for not going to the gym lately. She didn't care if people were staring at her like she was crazy. She only hoped airport security didn't try to detain her because she was sure she had seen EJ.
She got to the last boarding terminal which was at the end of the building, out of breath and looking all around for someone, anyone to help her because apparently everyone for this particular flight had already boarded the plane.
She ran to the desk, maybe this lady would help her, she had to see if EJ was on board of this flight, she needed to talk to him before it took off.
"Miss Do you need some help?" The Delta airline employee asked as she looked Sami over, hoping she wasn't going to have to call security because this woman standing before her had kind of a wild eyed look about her.
"My husband… he forgot his credit card," Sami lied thinking if EJ was on board he would have to have shown his ID so she couldn't have used that excuse to gain entrance to the plane. "I saw it on the dresser after I awoke this morning and knew he would need it when he got to," Sami looked up at the flight destination board for the place the plane was going, "England. I just don't want him to be without it or think he has lost his credit card."
"Miss, they've already boarded the plane, and the flight is in the process of being cleared to take off," the lady began to patiently explain to the very much winded person watching her as she continued to suck in deep breaths of air, the poor thing must have ran the entire length of the airport from the looks of it.
"I need to see him, this is important," Sami said with a plea in her voice. This lady just had to let her on the plane or get EJ off the plane whatever would work, she needed to see him face to face.
"I can take it to him," the lady suggested, hoping this would remedy the situation, she had a protocol to follow and letting unauthorized persons aboard the plane was most definitely not allowed.
"Please, I just need a moment with him, please," Sami knew if she had to produce this mythical credit card to the man who was nowhere near being her husband than her ruse was over and she was more than likely going to be in trouble to with the airport officials.
"It's against the rules," the lady began then stopped before saying more when she could clearly see the desperation in this woman's eyes and while she wasn't completely sure it was a credit card she needed to give to her husband there was something in her manner than made her want to help her. "How about I call for him to come off the plane? What is his name? He'll only have a minute or so."
"EJ DiMera. A minute is all I need, thank you," Sami said with a look of gratitude in her eyes, she forgot sometimes you found kindness in strangers when the people you knew were less likely to give it to you, especially in her case when it was undeserved.
"You can go to the walkway, they'll let him off the plane, just don't go to the entrance or you'll be escorted out of the building by security," the woman warned Sami as she picked up her phone to call to the plane. "Hank, I need for you to page a passenger on the plane."
Sami really hoped EJ was on this plane, if not she sure was going to have some major explaining to do.
Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part V
He must have dozed off to sleep EJ thought as he felt someone call his name over the plane intercom. He opened his eyes and looked around; maybe he was just imagining things until the flight attendant came up to him.
"Mr. DiMera, I need for you to come with me."
"All right, any particular reason why?" EJ asked as he arose from his seat causing the passengers in first class seating to look his way as he walked with the flight attendant the short distance to the front of the plane.
"Your wife needs to speak with you," the flight attendant smiled, Sandy was her name apparently or at least that what was written on her name tag.
"My wife you say?" EJ asked thinking what in the hell would Nicole want from him especially since when they had parted he had thought they were on the same page concerning the divorce. He didn't need this kind of aggravation from her, he was ready to go and they had certainly said all they needed to say when they both signed the divorce papers.
"Yes, she was very adamant in needing to see you before your flight left," Sandy shrugged her shoulders while thinking to herself if the man walking beside her was her husband she wouldn't let him fly alone anywhere because he was all kinds of hot. "She's waiting for you in the breezeway, but you only have a few minutes before we have to go."
"Thank you," EJ gave her a small smile and exited the plane ready to face Nicole to give her a piece of his mind when he stopped short in his tracks.
There was Samantha, standing all alone, switching her weight from one foot to the other while she waited that was until she saw his face and then all movement ceased from her.
For once he was at a loss for words when he saw her, he guessed he had used up his word quota for Samantha with his letters. He was shocked to see her standing there waiting for him, not to mention she was calling him her husband.
"Mrs. DiMera I presume?" he finally asked her when he got up the nerve to say something to her at all.
"I had to tell that lady something, somehow I knew she wasn't going to let me see you if I told her I needed to see my ex-husband/friend before he left the country to escape being around me," Sami began to explain only to have EJ interrupt her.
"So you being you, chose to do what you do best, lie," EJ stated matter of fact with little inflection in his voice, not wanting to get caught up in her crazy schemes this time, he was going away to gain some perspective on his life, not get tangled up in hers again.
"Look she told me I only have a minute, so I'll get to the point," Sami walked up closer to EJ where she wouldn't have to speak so loudly. "I don't want you to go. I read your letters to me and I…I need to…"
"You need to get on with your life, like I'm trying to do with mine," EJ finished for her, it would do no good for him to expect more from her, this was just her reacting to him saying he was going, not that she cared about him. This was classic Samantha, nothing more.
"I need to tell you that I'm…"
"I've got to go Samantha, please respect my decision to leave. I did what you asked of me, I gave it all to you, everything, I have nothing left to give to you," EJ said his voice close to faltering as he turned away from her, ready to go back and board the plane when he felt her hand reach for his, grasping it within her own, causing him to turn back to face her.
"EJ, just don't go, we need to talk, there is so much to be said," Sami began once more only to have EJ shake his head at her.
"Please don't make this harder for me than it already is," EJ said in a voice barely above a whisper as he tried his best not to meet her eyes, he had made up his mind and he needed to stick with it. "I'm getting back on the plane. We both need some space away from one another and if after this time apart you still want to talk to me, you know where I said I would be that night."
"EJ, please," Sami said doing her best not to cry.
He released her hand and leaned forward enough to kiss the top of her head, "Goodbye Samantha."
Sami closed her eyes, not wanting to watch him walk away from her. He was going and she hadn't even had the chance to tell him she was sorry. Didn't her coming here after him mean anything at all?
Story of her life, she was much too late and as she watched him board the plane without a backwards glance in her direction, she turned and walked back into the airport corridor, determined not to cry, she was going to have to bide her time before she talked to him. She stopped walking for a minute to watch the plane taxi down the runway and take off in flight, she knew it might be a while before it happened, but she'd have her say and maybe it would be better in the long run if she waited.
She had a lot of things to take care of before she made things right with EJ any way. She walked out of the airport seeing a parking ticket stuck to her windshield and shook her head thinking receiving a parking ticket had been worth it, at least she had seen EJ before he left and maybe that would mean something to him later on if not now.
It had to mean something to him, didn't it?
Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part VI
Why had she come to the airport? Why had she lied to see him? He had been sleepy before and now after the flight had taken off, he was a bundle of nerves. It made no sense, she had asked him to give everything up for the sake of their children and he had done so after pouring his heart and soul out in those letters to her.
He guess he thought she wouldn't read them, much less be affected by them. They had been more of a purging of his wretched soul, for him to finally be honest about so many things, things he had kept hidden from everyone, even himself sometimes. He hadn't imagined all the things that kept pouring out, one random thought to another and then another and another until he had gotten to the goodbye.
She shouldn't have come, he hadn't expected it and when she had he hadn't known what to say to her. It baffled him because somehow he always found a way to articulate what he was thinking, but seeing Samantha and her wanting to talk to him had thrown him off balance.
It hadn't been part of the plan, then when had anything gone according to his plans from the moment he had met that woman? He was doing the right thing by leaving, he couldn't take it anymore, the loss of everything he held dear to his heart, the heart he was determined to steel against the woman who had actually surprised him by showing up unannounced claiming to be his wife just to get him off the plane and see him.
It was good he was going, he needed to be strong again, strong enough to withstand the foolishness of his heart that had actually skipped a beat when he saw her standing there waiting for him. He took a deep breath, he shouldn't put much stock into her coming to see him, she was a reactionary creature just like him and given time she would be glad he was gone.
It was what she had wanted all along anyway, wasn't it? For him to remove himself from all of their lives, for his children to have a normal life without him being around, it was what she had asked of him. He closed his eyes hoping he could stop his heart from breaking whenever he thought of the children; he loved them and couldn't imagine never having a part in their lives again.
He looked out the window of the airplane to only see the clouds below, the town of Salem having disappeared a while back, and he hoped the age old adage of time heals all wounds would be true. In his case his wounds ran pretty deep and he didn't know if he would ever feel whole again.
How could he go on without them? How could he?
She drove much slower on the way back to the apartment; this wasn't something that was going to be easy. Hell she didn't know what she was going to say or do, but EJ's letters to her had made her see that the last year of her life wasn't what she wanted, she had been running from things for far too long. She was through with playing by the rules of someone else's game, she wasn't sure about her future, but one thing was for certain she had to make some much needed changes or she was going to be living a lie for the rest of her life.
And for once, she wasn't willing to accept what everyone else thought was best for her, she was going to live her life on her own terms and if people didn't like it, then they could just be upset with her. She had screwed up her life enough and now she had to do what was best for her and her children.
She parked the car and sat there in the driver's seat for a few minutes without exiting the vehicle. The next few hours were going to completely change the course of her life along with the children's, but for once she was going to be truthful with herself and those around her. She tried to calm her nerves, she was going to need all the strength she possessed to face the future, her future and for once she wasn't going to let anyone bring her down and tell her she couldn't do things anymore. No more limits, she was going to take the first steps necessary to start reclaiming her life.
She could do anything she put her mind to; after all she was Sami Brady.
Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part VII
Part of her was filed with dread, another part determined to get this over with Sami thought to herself as she nervously twisted the key into the lock on the front door. She kind of wondered why Rafe wasn't at work, but it was better to get things out in the open and then she would go from there.
He was asleep on the couch, no doubt he had given up on waiting for her arrival and who knew what he had said to her on those last cell phone messages she had erased? Seeing the empty beer bottles scattered on the coffee table and the surrounding mess of food wrappers on the floor she wrinkled her nose in disgust thinking she'd be the one to clean it up later on.
Then the thought hit her, no she wouldn't be cleaning up any mess Rafe made because she wouldn't be here. She hated waking Rafe up, he would be furious with her for being out all night, but it had been important for her to read the letters and for once she was taking a long hard look at what her actions had done and were continuing to do to other people.
What had she done? How did she dig herself into such a hole? How was she going to fix this? Someone was going to get hurt. Somehow whoever she was with ended up getting hurt by her, she didn't know why, but it always was the case.
She needed to fix herself before she could be in a relationship with anyone and she was afraid Rafe wasn't going to understand where she was coming from when she asked him to let her go and do what she needed to do to be the kind of person who didn't hurt people, a person who didn't cause other people to flee Salem just to get away from her.
Austin, Brandon, Lucas and now EJ were gone because of her and it was way past time she owned up to her part in causing them all to leave. For the girl who had only wanted someone to love her she sure had them leaving in droves when they had been around her long enough. She needed to get off this marriage merry go round she was on to see if she could make it on her own.
It was now or never had she thought as she reached out her hand to gently shake Rafe awake.
"Rafe we need to talk," Sami said after she finally managed to rouse him after giving him more than a few shakes on his shoulder.
Rafe grunted and groaned, trying to move up to a sitting position on the couch without making his head hurt so badly. He must have drunk more beers than he thought as he tried to focus on his surroundings. His eyes narrowed when he saw Sami sitting in the chair opposite of the couch.
"Where in the hell have you been Sami? I was up all night…"
"Drinking?" Sami asked with a quirk of her eyebrow as she eyed him from her vantage point of the chair.
"Worrying and maybe I had a few beers too," he mumbled as he tried to sit up straighter even though the effort was only making his head hurt worse.
"Like I said, we need to talk," Sami began only to have Rafe interrupt her.
"You bet we do, if you think you can go wherever you want without even asking my permission…"
"Whoa, back up right there, I don't need your permission to go anywhere."
"You're my wife and you'll respect me," Rafe stated as he started to come over to the chair, but Sami held up her hand in protest.
"Respect goes both ways and I think maybe…"
"That you'll apologize for being so rude and making me wonder what was so important that you couldn't even come home? That you ignored my repeated calls?"
"I turned my cell phone off last night. I just needed to do some soul searching and didn't need any distractions," Sami started again, but it was just so hard, how was she going to make Rafe understand something she didn't fully understand herself?
"Oh so I'm a distraction now? You'd think after all I've done for you that you'd be a little bit more grateful to me," Rafe was tempted to pick up one of the beer bottles on the coffee table because right now Sami wasn't making any sense with this talk she said she needed to have with him.
"Grateful? Why am I supposed to shower you with gratitude?" Sami asked, her temper starting to arise a tad bit with Rafe's attitude toward this situation.
"Are you serious? I mean look around you, I got you away from the DiMera's and given you all of this so that you and the kids would have a stable home life, something before now you have never been able to provide for your kids. You should be thanking me daily for coming into your life and putting up with your crazy to boot." Rafe said smugly as he looked around the apartment with pride.
"You put up with my crazy?" Sami asked quietly, his words cutting into her more than she would like to admit.
"Well you are kind of out there most days," Rafe stated like he didn't even realize how awful it sounded to her, like she should be grateful he was even with her given how unstable she looked to him.
"Hmmm and you think I couldn't make it on my own at all? That is what you are saying isn't it?" Sami questioned as she looked around the apartment also, wondering if she could live like this the rest of her life with a man who apparently thought she was off her rocker and that she should be grateful to him because he rescued her from the big bad DiMera's.
"Sami you can't handle anything on your own that is why we are perfect together, I take care of you and the kids, you need me," Rafe said giving her an incredulous look like this was something she should already know. "Before I came into your life you didn't have a clue on how to do much of anything."
"Rafe you came into my life because I was in the witness protection program, not because I needed a man to take charge of my life."
"Your life was a complete mess, you were pregnant with DiMera's child which you didn't want to tell him since he had Nicole knocked up too, thank goodness I helped convince you to keep that from him. He never deserved you or your love," Rafe hated EJ DiMera with a passion, the man had stole more from him than just a few months of his life, but he had gotten the girl from him in the end even though it had been a challenge for him in the beginning.
"I shouldn't have kept it from him," Sami shook her head thinking of all the hurt and pain she had caused by keeping the secret of being pregnant with Sydney from him. She had hurt so many people along the way, hurts she didn't know if any of them would ever overcome, especially her children.
"Of course you should have kept it from him. He's a DiMera, he is a bad, evil person, the entire lot of them are, rotten to the core each and every one of them."
"Johnny and Sydney are DiMera's," Sami added softly thinking how the hatred toward the DiMera family name would only get worse if time went on if she didn't do something to change things right now.
"They are our kids, you know I love them no matter who their daddy is," Rafe looked at Sami curiously, why it was almost like she was feeling sorry for EJ and that bastard didn't deserve any sympathy from anyone at all.
"Rafe, I just can't do this anymore, I can't pretend my children are our children, it isn't right or fair to any of us," Sami looked down at the wedding rings on her left hand and started to remove them. "I think our problems are too big to overcome and I need some time to sort things out on my own."
Rafe looked at her like she had lost her mind, "Are you freaking serious? I've bent over backwards to make your life great and this is how you repay me? You don't think I'm their father? I'm a better father to those kids than either one of those losers who are their father."
"My children don't need that kind of attitude surrounding them, they need to know that no matter who their father is that I love them and that their father loves them and that I can take care of them without having a man telling me who and what is best for them and me. You came into my life when I was trying to escape my problems and I let you take over, let you take care of things and maybe that was my biggest mistake of all. I lost who I am and I've got to get that back not just for my sake, but for my children too."
"You won't make it two weeks without me," Rafe scoffed thinking Sami was embarking on another ride on the crazy train.
"You really think so?" Sami asked as she pulled her wedding rings off and laid them on the table.
Rafe looked at her wedding rings now off her hand and lying on the coffee table amidst the empty beer bottles. "Sami, I don't know what has gotten into you, but you aren't seeing reason. I'm the one who has helped you try and make a decent life for yourself and the kids. Come on Sami, are you going to let DiMera win? Are you going to let him tear us apart?"
"If our love had been so strong, that we were soul mates, then how didn't I realize you weren't you when I kissed that imposter, even worse when I slept with him? Hasn't that even crossed your mind Rafe? Was this all about sticking to EJ that I was some kind of prize in a twisted game of wits between the both of you? I can't blame EJ for my role in what I did in things. I'm not an innocent victim in all of this, yet you claim that I am, you even helped me cover things up when I shot EJ!"
"He deserved to be shot; I wish you would have killed him!"
"I shouldn't have ever accepted your proposal so quickly after I broke things off with EJ, I was upset with him and rightly so for his role in Sydney's kidnapping. I shot him and we decided to get married while he was fighting for his life. So yes, I guess I am crazy, but not how you think I am, I needed some help and all I did was sex it up with you instead. Then when EJ found out the truth we planned a wedding? How crazy am I?"
"When did he get to you? You haven't given him a second thought and now you are blaming yourself and me? We are the victims of those fuckers and yet you are defending him again?"
"We are as much to blame as EJ is and I'm going to own up to my mistakes even if you never want to do so. Be glad I'm giving you your freedom; you won't have to put up with my crazy anymore as you so aptly put it. And no, before you even ask it I'm not going back to the mansion to EJ, he didn't get to me the way you think. He's gone." She wiped the angry tears from her eyes, her life was such a mess and it was going to be difficult to extricate herself from this marriage but she was going to do it no matter what it took.
"Good, I hate him," Rafe stated heatedly, still not believing Sami was going to go, why would she leave him now, DiMera was out of their lives.
"I wish I did because it would make things so much easier, but I don't, not anymore," Sami said and it hit her then she didn't hate EJ, she didn't hate Rafe either, she just needed to sort things out without either one of them around. She hated it had taken her this long to see things clearly.
"You're a fool then, DiMera won't ever do anything but hurt you and those kids if you let him," Rafe stood, picking up the rings from the table and holding them out to Sami. "Don't let him ruin us too."
"We were already ruined long before this; I just didn't want to believe it. I'm sorry Rafe, one day you'll see this is for the best. I'm filing for divorce, please don't fight it," Sami said as she opened the door.
"Sami, where are you going to go, the pub, your dad's? You aren't thinking things through as usual."
"For once I am thinking things through, don't worry I'll have someone else come pick up our things," Sami looked one more time around the apartment before adding, "Take care Rafe, I'm sorry. I have to do this for myself, I've lost too much of myself already and if I don't do this now I may never have the courage to do it."
He came up to her before she could leave out the door, she really was serious, she was filing for divorce from him, and he could see it in her eyes. "Please don't do this Sami, we can make it work out, we just need some time."
Sami shook her head sadly, "No, it never should have begun in the first place. You need someone who is going to love you and only you and I finally see I can't do that no matter what you have done for me. I really am sorry Rafe, you deserve more than what I can give you. Goodbye."
She walked out the door, hoping he'd let her go without a fight, she needed to start anew and it was going to be hard enough as it was without him trying to cause problems for her. She knew her family was going to be upset with her, but this was the first step in finding out whom she was and who she could be if she only took that first step into the unknown.
She smiled a sad smile when she made it to the elevator without Rafe following her and demanding she come back, maybe in time he would see this was best for them all. She surely hoped so because right now she was scared, she was truly going to be on her own with the kids and she just prayed she wasn't going to screw things up any worse than they already seemed to be at the moment.
This was the start. Now to face her family, somehow she didn't think it was going to be a banner day for any of the Brady's, especially her.
Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part VIII
What was she doing here now? It made no sense to him at all as EJ saw Samantha, each standing so close to one another that he could study her face clearly, see her tears falling freely now. His breathing was heavy from the exertion of trying to understand how they found themselves here and what was even happening to them.
"You lied to me." She slowly whispered because she was desperately taking her last chance to change something that had been forgotten somewhere along the way with them. "How could you have kept lying to me when you knew all along where Sydney was? How could you kiss me and tell me you loved me and made me fall in love with you all over again when it nothing more than a lie?"
"What are you talking about, Samantha?" he asked, slightly annoyed with her, she knew why he had done what he had chosen to do, he had told her with painstaking clarity the myriad of reasons why in his letters to her. She knows he doesn't wants to be here, there's really nothing more to say, for Christ's sake. Although he guesses he owes her that, at least a chance to accuse him once more, he figured she was going to finish what she started a little while ago.
"You said you loved me, that you wanted to be with me each and every day for the rest of our lives and yet you let me suffer for months on end and then when I found out the truth and said I was going to take the kids and leave you, I find out you planned to kidnap them all over again. What other choice did I have but to shoot you?"
This is their last chance to say goodbye properly and she wants to go on about shooting him? This really wasn't what he wanted to do with her, all he wanted was to escape the past, it was over and done with, and they were over for good this time. And now that he's thinking about it, for his own good, he should forget about it all, about those stolen kisses in the stairwell, about every single touch, every single time they lips met, how incredible it always felt when his skin touched hers.
Because this hurts too badly and there's nothing he can do about it, at least not anymore.
"We can't change the past Samantha, what's done is done." He answers, and she finally looks at him. He feels his heart speeding up a little bit whenever she turns those amazing eyes of hers on him and him alone. When she looks at him that way is feels like nothing was impossible for them. Almost liked they belonged together.
Hot tears are burning her cheeks now, and she can see his fingers reaching out to wipe them away, but she doesn't let him. "Stop it. Let me finish, EJ."
He waits patiently for her to say something, anything and then when she tries to begin to speak she falters, so she leans up slightly to drag his lips down to hers instead. He can feel his racing heart beat blending with hers to create a rhythm all its own that reverberated throughout both their bodies.
And then before they can get closer, he feels something or someone trying to pull them apart, he shakes his head, he doesn't want Samantha to leave after all, he needs her still.
"Mr. DiMera, you need to wake up, your flight has arrived and all the other passengers have already gotten off the plane."
He looks up at this woman, he knows her from somewhere and then he realizes it was all a dream, Samantha isn't here with him, his flight has arrived.
"Excuse me, I've just had a tiring couple of days and I guess it finally caught up with me," EJ rubbed his eyes, trying to shake off how real his dream had felt to him, it was almost like Samantha had been right there with him.
"It's quite all right," the flight attendant tells him and then he remembers her name, Sandy, she was the one who had told him before he left Salem his wife had needed to speak to him.
If she only knew the truth, Samantha was never going to be his wife again and he needed to stop thinking about her, he was leaving Salem to get over her, not to start dreaming about her every time he closed his eyes. They were over.
He only hoped he would be able to convince his heart of that fact because at the moment it seemed to be very stubborn. Much like Samantha, he shook his head as he reached for his carry-on bag thinking this was going to be harder than he imagined. Then again when were things ever simple when it concerned Samantha Brady?
Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part IX
To say he had been surprised when EJ had called him up last week and asked for a meeting would be an understatement, Justin Kiriakis thought as he was speaking with Sami this afternoon. To now also have Sami in his office as he went over the details of the trust funds for all of her children generously endowed by EJ seemed even more surreal, although he gave no hint of it to the more than slightly bewildered woman who sat in his law office.
He hadn't liked EJ from the moment he had met him, the man was a DiMera and that name to most people struck a bad chord with them if they were a resident of Salem, much less to be a member of the rival family of the Kiriakis'. So when EJ had asked for his help in a very personal matter Justin had been dubious at first wondering if this was some kind of new ploy in what seemed like a never ending battle between said EJ DiMera and Sami Brady.
Sami listened carefully as he outlined the provisions of the legal documents EJ had drawn up and he in turn worked on with EJ to ensure everything was legally correct. She hadn't interrupted him once as he went from one document to the other, just wrote in what appeared to be a small journal of some sort.
When he was finally finished he looked to her and asked, "Do you have any questions?"
Her first question in return was really not surprising considering the amount of paperwork and legal jargon he had covered within the last hour. "Justin, do you think this is all above board? There isn't some kind of legal loophole I'm missing is there?"
"I admit I was skeptical too, more than skeptical considering EJ came to me with this request," Justin removed his reading glasses and placed them on his desk, and then waved his hand over all the documents before them, "but I researched this fully before I even considered being EJ's legal counsel on the matter and there isn't a gotcha in any of the documents. Well other than one maybe…"
"Which is?" Sami asked knowing there had to be something, the things EJ had apparently given or wanted to provide for her and the children almost seemed too good to be true. Plus she had no reason to believe he'd had a change of heart concerning her specifically beyond the batch of letters and the things he had given her which she had retrieved from the trunk in the old house.
"I have been instructed if you so choose to move into EJ's home he purchased, Rafe Hernandez is not to be allowed to live there with you and the children. On that one point he was very specific saying if it were to be the case then you would be asked to leave the premises immediately," Justin stated matter of fact wondering if this would be the point where Sami told him she was not interested in anything EJ could provide for her and the children, although her response was quite different from what he was expecting.
"There is no worry of that happening; in fact I need to ask for how much you would charge in drawing up divorce papers for me?"
Apparently he also realized Sami was probably going to have a name change sometime in the very near future.
Damn if both of them weren't full of surprises for him Justin thought wondering exactly what might happen in the future between those two. For all he had thought Sami hated EJ the woman sitting here in his office appeared to be quite calm despite the obvious overload of information he had given to her.
"Well how about we finish this up first and then we can go over some possible strategies if you want to pursue obtaining a divorce from Rafe?"
"All right, anyway may I ask if you know when EJ purchased this house? Was this just something he had purchased recently or had he bought this before now?" Sami had a feeling somewhere in the back of her mind when EJ might have bought the house, but she wasn't completely sure. She recalled a conversation she and EJ had shared a few days before their non wedding, but surely it couldn't be what she was thinking.
She remembered EJ coming up behind her, snuggling her close in one of those rare moments they had been able to find their selves alone. Despite the DiMera mansion being so huge it was almost comical how almost anytime they might have had a chance to be alone with one another it rarely happened without someone managing to intrude upon them.
But that afternoon, she had been contemplating if she could go through with this upcoming marriage to EJ. She had been so torn over what to do, if she was doing the right thing, if she could forget about Rafe if she went ahead and married EJ.
He had leaned down to kiss her neck, catching her completely off guard and of course flustering her all at the same time. He had a way of doing that as she thought it would be for the best if she moved away from his embrace to look into his eyes, ones she couldn't quite make out if she saw disappointment in when she had spurned another advance of intimacy from him.
She almost relinquished, but something had kept her from going ahead and sleeping with EJ before they married and while a kiss on the neck wasn't anything remotely connected to them having sex, she tried her best to keep some distance between them. EJ had no idea how much he affected her and she had planned on keeping that way even though he had managed to procure some cracks in her strong veneer she strived to maintain.
"Sorry," she began only to have EJ shake his head at her apology; it was like he knew he could wait; besides they only had a few more days before they were married.
"It's okay, I didn't mean to scare you," EJ said softly, and he gave her one of those stares with those beautiful dark eyes of his that made her want to jump his bones, but still she stayed strong.
"It's not that, I was just thinking about our future together."
"Good thoughts I hope," EJ's voice held a slight less than confident tone to it which he usually had when he was speaking to anyone, especially her.
"EJ," she reached out to touch his face with her fingertips only to have him be the one to back away from her this time.
"Before we speak of such things, maybe I should wait a while until I tell you the good news or rather what I hope you will consider a good wedding present from me," EJ started to smile and it changed his entire demeanor.
Sami felt bad, she hadn't even gotten anything for EJ yet, and it was that everything seemed to be happening so fast that she hadn't had time or was it something more?
Whatever he had planned to say to her, he didn't say because his cell phone had rang and reluctantly he had taken the call, turning away from her to speak to whoever had called him. Could the house had been her wedding present from him and he had never got the chance to tell her?
"Sami, are you all right?" Justin asked bringing her out of her memories and back to the present. "It's like you haven't heard a word I've said after you asked about the house."
"Excuse me, my mind was wandering for a moment," Sami apologized hoping Justin wouldn't think she was being rude, but these last twenty-four hours had been pretty much life changing for her in more ways than one and she thought this was just the beginning of changes that were going to happen in her life.
"No problem, I know this is a lot to absorb in such a short amount of time," Justin gave her a small smile, wondering what she would do with all of this information he had given to her, she had a lot of things to decide upon doing if she so chose to do so. "Since I'm in charge of EJ's estate until I have further instructions I guess it will be all right to tell you about the purchase date of the house and surrounding property."
"Which was?" Sami asked although she had a sinking suspicion after reflecting back to that day a few moments before.
"June 2010," Justin supplied the answer and then Sami knew for sure.
EJ had bought the house for her as a wedding present, one he had never been able to give to her after everything had occurred when the wedding hadn't taken place after all.
The question was could she move into the house now?
Then she pondered another question, how could she not especially if she wanted to make a clean start away from Rafe and try to live her life on her own terms without any interference from her family too?
She smiled a grim smile, she knew what she had to do and if everyone else thought she was crazy then so be it.
Sami Brady along with her kids was moving out of the loft apartment today.
She hoped she could make the kids understand even though she really didn't understand everything yet herself, but as long as she and the kids had a place to go without being beholden to anyone; it was going to be the right thing to do.
What EJ had called their safe haven from the storm was going to become her new home.
At least for a while anyway, until she got her feet planted firmly on the ground and then after that she would see where life would take her and the kids.