A/N: Yay Happy New Year everyone 3 I'm back from my holiday hiatus so expect regular updates again. I planned on finishing this fic soon but it seems as if I just can't keep it short so there weill be definitely a chapter 50. Maybe even more.

Have fun ;D

The watery air of the room was filled with the soft splashing sound of water and the erratic breathing of two bodies immersed in each other. Mathias had long since dropped the soap and was now drawing his hands over my skin, trailing roads of heat on my writhing flesh, mapping out every part of me with meticulous care. From time to time he would take up water with his cupped hands and pour it over me to wash off the soap that still clung to my body.

I could feel his hardened length press against my lower back, but he didn't seem ready yet to indulge himself, instead preferring to coax moans of pleasure from my raw throat as he continued his relentless assault. I lied in his arms, back pressed against his chest, head arched backwards by each new wave of pleasure that surged through me when Mathias brushed against a sensitive spot.

He had yet to lay hands on the spot I wished him to touch me the most but still I was gradually losing the grip on my coherence the longer his fingers danced over my body. But despite the warmth and comfort of Mathias arms, something felt oddly wrong.

This was how it always had been, Mathias taking care of me while I did nothing. He had never hinted that it bothered him but it was something that had started to bother me. I loved him, he was my everything, yet I never did anything to prove it except with words. And as much as he insisted on not needing any reassurance, I still wanted to do something for him. He deserved it after all.

I pushed myself away from Mathias' warm body behind me, water splashing against the sides of the bathtub as I turned around to kneel between Mathias' legs. He carried a look of surprise, hands suspended in mid air as I had interrupted him in the middle of his movement. "Lukas…?"

Already there was worry evident in his voice, worry over my actions, if he had done anything wrong. "Ssh." I took his hands in mine and blew a quick kiss on his knuckles. "This is for you." With that I bent down to fish Mathias' member out of the water, with most of my body removed from the water body it was shallow enough for me to take it into my mouth without drowning.

Mathias was a bit surprised and he hesitated as he cupped my chin with his hand, not sure if he should let me do something he knew I had been forced to do before, thanks to a few clients who had insisted on me sucking them off. I knew it held somewhat of a special meaning when two lovers did it, it meant that they trusted each other, but so far only Mathias had ever done it to me.

I had always hated it when a man had forced his dick down my throat and every time afterwards, no matter how long I had rinsed out my mouth, the bitter taste of cum had stayed for hours. For the first time ever I wanted to do it on my own, because I wanted to show Mathias that I not only loved but trusted him.

My hand gripped the base of Mathias' shaft firmly as I lowered down my head to flick my tongue against the head. Mathias' hand was still on my cheek, but he let go once my mouth was on him, the sensations overwhelming his mind as he leaned back and closed his eyes. Most cocks I had sucked off had tasted stale and unwashed but thanks to the hot water Mathias' didn't have any particular taste, but still underlining the neutrality of freshly washed skin there was a faint almost sweet flavor, reminding me of the taste of Mathias' lips.

I started slowly, licking the head, playing a bit with the foreskin before I wandered down the shaft to the base, lips gently prodding against the sensitive skin and applying pressure along the thick vein on the underside. I moved back up again, flicking my tongue against the thin slit at the top, eliciting a moan from Mathias' that echoed through the room and spurred me on even more.

It was a whole different thing to pleasure Mathias than any of those men who had paid me for it. While they had grunted like the fat heavy pigs they were, Mathias moans and gasps sounded like pure unrestrained bliss and it made my heart flutter that I was the cause of this.

I closed my lips around the head, tongue still prodding against the shaft as I gently and carefully slid deeper. I couldn't fit the whole penis in, Mathias had quite a girth, but I tried to go as far as possible without gagging. And with every inch I engulfed with my mouth Mathias' breath grew more ragged and a low deep moan escaped his throat as I grazed my teeth over the shaft. It was like wonderful sweet music to my ears, to hear Mathias coming loose like this, his hand on my head, grasping at the hair in an attempt to hold on to something while I was overloading his body with pleasure. He had given me plenty of head so I knew how good it felt and it made me glad that I finally was able to let Mathias feel the same.

I started to move my hand along the base of Mathias' shaved, pumping in time with the movements of my mouth as I slipped up and down the length. A warm feeling was pooling in my lower regions, it was not like an impending orgasm more like a light throbbing that reminded me that my own member was twitching with unsatisfied need. But that had to wait, for now I wanted to focus on Mathias.

"Hng… Lukas…" Mathias moaned, his hand tightening in my hair, but despite his obvious struggle he made no attempt at all to push me down on his shaft, not like so many other men had before. And I was grateful that he let me stay in control, because I didn't know if I could have handled it, had he tried to use force on me.

And then suddenly I felt his hands on my arms as he pulled me up and into a kiss, whole body quivering as the friction of my body against his sent him over the edge and he came between us, lips pressed against mine as he moaned out my name. He was panting heavily, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath again, only to smile down at me and kissing me on the forehead. "That was amazing Lukas." I returned the smile, glad that he was mindful enough to spare me the bitter taste of his cum even though I would have swallowed it for him. "Glad you liked it."

Mathias smile turned into a grin. "Liked? I loved it!" He nuzzled his face against mine and kissed me again. "But I wanted to make you scream remember?"I resettled against his chest, after I had cleared off the water around us a bit. "Well then you should better get started." I teased, licking playfully over his earlobe, sending visible shivers through his body. "Or else you'll never catch up to that head start of mine."

Mathias smirked, and the slight feeling that I surely would regret this crept up on me. Mathias would never pass up the challenge I had just thrown at him. "Don't worry, you'll get your fun, and when I'm through with you, you won't be able to walk for the next three days." Mathias placed his hands on my hips and lifted me up until I stood in the bathtub, warm water that had lost most of its temperature sloshing around my ankles. I waited until he got up too, before I answered: "Then you'll better get ready to carry me around."

Mathias angled for a towel that hung on a hook on the wall and wrapped me in it, bringing his face close to my ear once he was done. "I will carry you to the end of the world if you want…" I felt my heart thumping at his words, it was cheesy maybe, but I could feel the sincerity and the love that permeated his voice. "Idiot…" I whispered back, but the smile on my lips was still audible in my voice.

He pressed his still wet body against my toweled dry one, arms tightly wrapped around me as he kissed my neck. "We better get onto the bed then, don't you think so?" Mathias pulled my towel off and rubbed himself dry quickly all the while pushing me in the direction of the door. I complied and stepped into the bedroom, the air there was much cooler than in the water heated bathroom so I quickly made my way over and snuggled under the blankets. Mathias followed soon behind me, his wet hair clinging flat to his skull for once, giving him a completely unfamiliar look.

He climbed in after me and wrapped his arms around me his body warmth immediately chased the cold away and I readily opened my arms to pull him closer. We lied there for a moment, without a word, just relaxing in each other's arms, before Mathias lips found mine and we lost ourselves in a long drawn-out kiss. Mathias had just had a climax so we had to start slow, but I didn't mind at all. I was getting all the attention I could ever crave with Mathias paying attention to every seemingly insignificant part of my body, playing kisses on still damp skin, trailing fingers along bone lines, flicking his tongue against every part that stood out.

My hands were tangled up in Mathias hair, drops of water leaking from his wet locks on my fingers, but the cool feeling only added to the sensations as it stood in stark contrast to the heat that followed every of Mathias' touches. I bit on my lip not to cry out as Mathias' mouth closed around my nipple, taking a felt eternity until he finally released it only to blow his breath against the moist skin, sending a trickle of goose bumps down my spine.

It was sweet but ever so torturous as he kept his hands away from my lower body, probably waiting for me to cave in and beg for his touch. And my resolve was cracking, my pride waning as he continued to let his fingers wander over my body, followed by kisses and licks. "Mathias…" My voice was breathless and scratchy as I almost begged him to go deeper to give me what I want, and when he finally heeded my plea I almost let out a scream as I felt his warm hand close around me, setting my whole body ablaze with want and pleasure.

I dug my fingers in the flesh of Mathias' back, nails scraping over the firm outlines of ribs under the smooth skin as the feeling overwhelmed my senses. Mathias almost unnoticeably flinched from the pain my nails were inducing and I forced myself to ease my grip. I needed something to hold onto though and so I found Mathias' other hand that was still on my chest and entwined my fingers with his. My eyes squeezed shut and my mouth hung open as I tried to control my breath but it was in vain, Mathias increased pumping of my erection was sweeping every hold on coherency I had away.

Warm lips pressed against mine, constricting for a moment my air supply, until my nostrils had taken up the task. Still it felt as if my nose was not up to the challenge of supplying my body with enough air and the moment Mathias released my mouth I was gasping like a fish on land. Strangely though my arousal hadn't been decreased at all by my brief exposure to asphyxiation, on the contrary the sudden burst of panicked energy even heightened my perception.

My pleasure fogged mind came up with a memory of a conversation between two of the girls in the brothel, one telling the other how a friend of her died after one of her clients insisted in strangulating her during their intercourse. According to her it was supposed to be improving the experience of sex but it was too dangerous so it was forbidden in our brothel. I had no time to dwell on that thought though, Mathias who had noticed that something was not quite right with me had stopped his ministrations and was looking at me now with concern. "Are you alright Lukas?"

The experience had not been bad and I was sure that Mathias didn't do it on purpose but I decided then for myself that I would never put Mathias through something like this. I couldn't imagine doing it myself, putting my hands around Mathias' neck and squeezing the life out of him so I would never even think about asking that of him. Even though I found myself curiously wondering that if Mathias would ever express the highly unlikely wish to nearly asphyxiate me, I would allow Mathias doing that, I would entrust my life to him at any moment.

In a way it felt both terrifying and wonderful at the same time to trust someone so completely and without question. That feeling was entirely new to me.

Mathias grew more concerned as my silence stretched out, but I had to sort out my thoughts first, before I could answer his question. I smiled and rested my hand on his cheek. "I'm fine; I just realized how amazing you truly are." At first only light confusion showed on Mathias' features but his face soon was split by an enormous grin as he leaned forward to place a slobbery kiss on my cheekbone. I pushed him away with a look of mock disgust on my face but in truth I couldn't have felt happier. "Now continue with what you were doing." I commanded, a smile tugging at my lips as I watched Mathias' gleeful expression.

I half expected him to tease me, asking me to what exactly I wanted him to go back to, but he just kissed me again and replaced his hands on my body. My eyes fell closed again and I leaned back to lose myself in the sensations of Mathias' hand around my length, moving up and down and his other hand that was drawing circles around my nipples, occasionally pushing against one or disappearing completely from my skin only to return on another spot, sending my mind off into a spiral of bliss.

I was trying to hold back for as long as possible but eventually the built up pleasure was too much and it only took as little as a brush against the sensitive underside to send me over the edge. Mathias caught my release with his hands, engulfing my member with warmth as he stroke out the last waves of orgasm. The sheets had gone astray at some point and I lied on the messy bed, limbs sprawled out and heavily breathing as the heat finally left my body.

Mathias got up and rustled around in the room a bit, I was still too groggy to pay much attention to him. In reality it hadn't been that long since our last time together, only a few days but it felt like an eternity and I knew that both our lust was far from being sated. Having been so close to death repeatedly had taken a toll on us and now we were trying to reassure the fact that we were still alive and that nothing could keep us apart. I wanted to feel Mathias in me to make sure that the connection between us hadn't changed at all. I was willing to take it slow though, after the recent hardships we both weren't exactly healthy and I still had that nasty cough sleeping somewhere in my lungs.

The mattress sank a bit in as Mathias returned to the bed, hands wiped clean and a promising smirk on his lips. The sole sight of it made my stomach flutter and I could feel a bit of warmth pooling up in my nether regions. I was still exhausted from my previous orgasm but that wouldn't hinder me from playing around with Mathias. I was positive that sooner or later he would get me going again.

Afterwards I couldn't say how much time we spent in bed, touching, feeling, having sex and talking but when we finally were hungry enough to make our way downstairs to eat lunch or dinner, depending on the time, the owner had returned with the village's healer in tow. The sun was still standing high above the horizon but noon was long gone so I figured it was somewhere between late and early afternoon. Not that it really mattered.

As Mathias predicted I had some difficulties with walking but I grit my teeth and stalked down the stairs, ignoring Mathias' attempts at helping me. Not that I had a problem with accepting his help, I just didn't want Emil to see his brother in such a pitiable state. But despite the stabbing pain in my backside and the awkward position I had to sit in at the table I still felt content and happy, so full of love and joy that I felt the constant urge to smile. The only thing that would make the situation even more perfect would be Berwald being able to walk around and join us.

Mathias apparently felt similar, for he was almost glowing with satisfaction and I could tell by the occasional grin he threw my way that he was more than pleased with himself. Arthur and Francis had already been sitting at the table, chatting with the owner who explained us that the healer was currently taking care of Berwald. Tino was with them and Emil was in the stables, grooming the horses with Peter. I had completely forgotten about the promise we made the owner about his son but thankfully the others had taken care of that.

I was handed a small vial with a bluish liquid from the owner, the healer had given it to him together with the instructions. I had to take a few drops before each meal and my cough would be gone in no time. I eyed the vial suspiciously, I had never seen something like it before but the owner reassured me that it would work. He was only a healer with knowledge in herbal medicine but with that he could cure almost everything, unlike all those doctors and physicians who claimed that bloodletting and leeches actually were medicine. Since the only doctor I had encountered so far had resorted to herbs too I couldn't really provide a backed up opinion on the matter so I only nodded politely.

If it eased the constricted feeling in my chest then it was enough for me.

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