Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part XX

Sami kept herself busy, her new job was demanding yet she loved it. She was given the responsibility of the fitness section of the magazine while Chris was one of the co-editors over the fashion portion of Bella magazine. She was learning so much from him and it was nice to have a friend, one with no hidden agendas, something she hadn't had in years. Chris was honest with her to the point that many times it almost verged on hurting her feelings, but she was growing a thicker skin and starting to see that he meant it in a good way.

When she thought about it EJ had been her last true friend or she had thought he had been for a while until things had fallen apart. Looking back now with the distance to separate them and no way for her to contact him she really couldn't blame everything that had went wrong between them on him. She guessed the hardest thing was late at night after she had put the kids to bed and she was exhausted from work and then their never ending projects to work on improving the house that she was trying to make herself so tired that she wouldn't have time to think of EJ or any other man for that matter.

Justin had been a huge help to her, especially when Rafe initially contested the divorce proceedings, but after Sami refused to budge on the matter he was eventually backing off more with each passing week. They saw each other in passing a few times, but she no longer felt the need to speak to him or to feel sorry for her decision to divorce him.

The most embarrassing thing had been when Justin informed her that he wouldn't give her EJ's new cell phone number, reminding her EJ had specifically requested no contact with her unless it was an emergency. It had kind of brought out a panic in her when she had tried to call EJ again unsuccessfully of course only to not be able to leave him a message to call but rather a disconnection notice of the phone line.

What had triggered the need to call him the most was a conversation she'd had with the children one Friday night when they were having what was beginning to be their start of the weekend movie night. While they were talking about which movie they might watch this particular evening Johnny seemed preoccupied drawing in his latest sketch pad Sami had bought for him. He really was showing some promise with each new creation he came up with whether he used his colored pencils, crayons, paints or markers.

Sami looked over at his drawing after she had come back into the living room from washing and drying the dinner dishes. At first she had thought she didn't know if she could survive without a dishwasher, but it was all right now, just another thing she was used to doing in the house and she was teaching the children how to help her so it was all good.

"What are you drawing sweetie?" Sami asked coming to sit down on the couch while Johnny continued to draw not even looking up from his work.

"I don't know," he shrugged his shoulders and put an arm up to shield Sami from looking closely at the drawing.

"Johnny, please let me see, you know how much I love your pictures," Sami didn't want to intrude on him, but she was really curious as to what her son might be drawing.

"Johnny is making a picture for Daddy EJ," Allie informed Sami which caused Johnny to look up from his drawing while giving Allie a frown.

"Be quiet Allie," Johnny warned, "it's not like he would want to see it anyway."

"Johnny, your daddy would love it, I know he would," Sami said her heart sinking knowing that EJ not being here with his children was affecting them too more than she even realized. Why had she thought that EJ signing over full custody would be a good thing for them? It was evident they missed him especially when Johnny asked his next question.

"Did I make Daddy run away? I was mad at him for acting like a bad guy, but I'm not mad anymore," Johnny pushed his sketch pad away from him as he looked to his mom with tears in his eyes.

Sami patted the place beside her on the couch motioning for Johnny to come sit beside her which he did, settling in close enough for her to pull him in a tight hug, "Oh honey your daddy didn't leave because of what you said to him. He just needed to go away for a little while."

"Is he in jail? Rafe said he was a bad guy," Johnny didn't want to cry, but he felt the tears coming.

"No your daddy is not in jail," Sami hated this knowing she had spoken badly of EJ to Rafe several times when she had thought the children could not hear them, but apparently they saw and heard more than what she gave them credit for and it made her feel ashamed. She should have kept her opinions of EJ to herself whether or not the kids might have heard her. Plus that had been the anger talking, the anger EJ could bring up in her that few others seemed to trigger.

"That time on the TV they were talking about daddy and I thought that maybe Rafe had put him in jail," Johnny said as he began to cry in earnest.

"Everything you hear or see on TV is not true," Sami said hoping she was relieving his fears, things could seem so overwhelming for kids and Johnny had went through so much this past year, it made her want to cry, but she had to keep strong.

Allie said softly almost where they couldn't hear her, "Johnny said EJ was mean to Rafe, but Rafe was mean to me and he didn't have to go to jail."

Oh god she really was going to lose it, what had she done to damage her sweet children, they had seen and heard more than kids their age should have to encounter.

"Allie there was a good and bad Rafe," Johnny lifted up his head as he tried to explain to her what he knew about the situation.

"All Rafe's yuck," Sydney piped in with her baby voice, shaking her head with a face showing she didn't think much of Rafe before adding, "I miss daddee."

Considering how this conversation was going Sami wanted to agree with her baby girl, but she held her tongue, she'd done enough damage to them without adding fuel to the fire.

Now Sydney began to cry, which made Johnny wipe at his cheeks dispelling his own tear tracks, "Don't be a crybaby Sydney."

"I not cry…crybabee, I big girl," Sydney began to argue with him.

Allie went over to Sydney patting her affectionately, "Don't cry Sydney, your daddy will come back soon. Mommy just said Johnny didn't make him run away."

"Johnny mean," Sydney looked at him, "he make daddy go way."

"I didn't mean to," Johnny tried to defend himself.

"Girls, Johnny didn't make EJ run away," Sami reminded them wishing EJ was here, this was difficult.

"Can I call daddy and tell him I'm sorry?" Johnny asked and it made Sami want to cry all the more seeing how much they all missed EJ not being here with them. They needed both of them, not one parent or the other.

"Your daddy's cell phone is broke," Sami hated lying to them; she didn't want to tell him that she had already tried to call him several times with no success. She couldn't deal with Johnny blaming himself for something that wasn't his fault, EJ had left because of her and how they couldn't come to a reasonable agreement concerning custody of the children. The constant tug and war they had done with these children was terrible and now they were all paying the price.

"Let me see what I can do," Sami said softly gathering them all up in a hug.

"Maybe we could make daddy EJ a video," Allie suggested, "that way he could see us and we could tell him how much we miss him. Could we do that mommy?"

Sami smiled, this might work and she could give it to Justin so he could forward it onto EJ, at least he would know they were thinking of him, this might help him too knowing his children hadn't forgotten him and wanted him home even if she didn't know how things would go between them when he came back. Would she have to move out, would the kids? She didn't have the answers and she did what she was good at, she pushed the unwanted thoughts aside for another day. She just had to deal with things with one day at a time.

The idea that they could make a video for EJ perked Allie up, she had been telling them for months now she was going to be a star one day and she began to talk to Johnny and Sydney telling them what they could do. She got Sami's permission to call her big brother Will to come over sometime during the weekend and film them since she knew he had a video camera.

Luckily Will agreed to Allie's request, he really was a softie whenever it was concerning his younger brother and sisters and while he still wasn't EJ's biggest fan he wasn't going to say to do anything to disparage their opinion of him. Sami suggested they film it at the park telling the kids it would make for a good surprise when EJ came home of how much work they had done at the house that could be their present to him because he didn't know they were working on the house.

So that weekend they made a video for EJ, Sami making sure she wasn't in any scenes, she wanted EJ to enjoy the video and somehow she didn't think her presence would be a welcome sight for him. Unbeknownst to her, Will caught a shot of her with the kids that she didn't know about, he edited it under Allie's direction of course, his little sister was quite bossy about it all so his mother didn't know the final cut he sent to Justin when he went by his office later on the following week.

"Justin, can you send this to EJ? My mom said you knew how to contact him," Will said as he gave him a hard copy along with emailing him a file attachment of their project.

"What is this?" Justin asked wondering exactly what Will was doing in his office according to his knowledge from Sonny that Will hadn't been too ecstatic over his mother's decision to move into the house EJ had purchased although he now seemed ok with her getting a divorce from Rafe.

"Something my brother and sisters wanted to make for EJ, a video telling him they missed him and wanted him to come home soon," Will offered up with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"And you were willing to do this for them?" Justin asked, knowing how hard this must have been for Will, it was no secret Will didn't seem to care much for EJ as a person.

"They love him and you know sometimes he wasn't such a jerk, I mean he was good to me at least until I turned on him," Will hung his head, he really didn't know what he felt for EJ, he had blamed him for so many things going wrong that he needed to see how much EJ meant to his siblings and he had saw that while making the video.

"It's okay not to trust him," Justin offered up, seeing how Will was torn on the subject.

"I don't know if it is lack of trust or something more," Will said matter of fact. "Maybe when EJ comes home we can talk too sometimes that is if he wants to, he might not want anything to do with me."

"Talking things out might help," Justin agreed as Will arose saying he had to go, he needed to work on the website that he, Sonny and Chad were still building so his time was limited.

Justin looked at the video in its case, he wasn't going to invade EJ's privacy by watching it so he took out an envelope and addressed it to his current address he have given him. Then he went to his computer to compose an email of the file too sending it off to EJ's new email address.

While he couldn't claim to call EJ a friend, he could say he admired him for trying to take care of his family while he was out of the country, maybe there was so good in EJ DiMera after all.

^ ^ ^ ^

As the weeks had went by EJ tried to keep himself busy, of course his mother and Edmund had been glad to see him, welcoming him with open arms and it was nice to spend time with them along with his nanny with whom he continued to have daily conversations about his life and what he should do in the future. While Nanny was telling him he should try to mend fences with this Samantha girl he would shake his head telling her once more the romantic fool that used to preside in his heart was long gone.

He had even went out with a few women while he was here, but each time he found them lacking in some area or another and then he would be mad when or if his conscience would creep in with something about Samantha. He tried not to think of her, focusing rather on getting back to being the kind of man he needed to be for his children.

He missed them so much; it was like a huge hole was in his heart whenever he thought of them. He did like to regale his family with stories of the children and asked for their forgiveness in not bringing them to see them. They had all been afraid of Stefano and what he may have done to them if they had tried to encroach upon EJ's life so they had stayed away.

Susan suggested they may come visit Salem in the spring if EJ would allow them, Stefano be damned which Nanny heartily agreed with her, only Edmund stating they would need to proceed with caution if they ventured to Salem especially after EJ informed them they might not even be able to see this children. He didn't have any idea whether or not Sami would see him when he returned or if she would agree to let him see the children again in some capacity.

EJ had returned from one of his many runs he now did sometimes more than once daily along the surrounding city and countryside when Susan handed him an envelope addressed to him from the law office of Justin Kiriakis. EJ frowned as he attempted to wipe the sweat off his brow before opening the envelope with shaking hands. What could Justin be sending him?

He opened the envelope; a single sheet of paper along with an encased DVD was inside.

EJ,

While you stated you wanted no contact from Samantha this is something you might want to see. I sent you an email too, but have no idea how closely you are checking your emails since you are out of the country and not working with DiMera Enterprises anymore.

I don't have a clue as to what is on the DVD; Will brought it by the office asking for me to mail it to you. I hope you are doing well and look forward to you returning home. If you need anything else, please let me know and I will do my best to help you.

Sincerely,

Justin Kiriakis

"What is it son?" Susan asked seeing her son visibly shaken, during his time here he had gradually grown more relaxed, but she could tell this wasn't something he was expecting.

"I don't know," EJ held out the DVD case for her to see.

"I guess the only way you are going to know for sure is to watch it," Susan said before adding. "Do you want to watch it alone?"

"I've told you all my dirty secrets, well most of them anyway," EJ tapped the case against his hand.

"Whatever you want," Susan went over to stand behind EJ as he got out his laptop to place the disk into it.

"You can stay," EJ said as the DVD began to play and suddenly his computer screen showed the children at the park playing and then it went to each of them telling him they missed him and wanted him to come home soon. He placed a hand to his mouth, not expecting this and he began to cry.

"They are so beautiful," Susan said in awe as she viewed them on the screen with him.

"They are," EJ readily agreed although he was having a hard time finding his voice as he continued to watch them. They looked so happy and it pierced his heart when he heard their sweet voices especially their sentiments of asking him to come back home.

"Looks like you are needed back home," Susan stated quietly, not wanting him to leave just yet even though it had already been two months since he had arrived on their doorstep his nanny proudly presenting him to them.

"I don't know where my home is anymore," EJ replied feeling more lost than before making his mother reach out to hug him from behind.

"Yes, you do, home is where your heart is," Susan patted him on the chest and kissed him on the top of his head like she used to do when he was little boy.

"Don't you know I don't have a heart mother," EJ replied his voice barely above a whisper as the tears continued to flow down his face after the screen faded to black.

"You do too and while Edmund, Nanny and I will be simply heartbroken to see you go, you have to for these precious children. My grandchildren that I am going to meet soon," Susan said firmly hoping her voice wouldn't break, her son needed to go back for them if nothing else. She hated that Sami girl didn't seem to have much sense because anyone could see her son was a catch, but he needed his children even if he couldn't have the woman he loved. She could see he loved her enough to let her go or he wouldn't have left in the first place.

"I'm not supposed to go back before Christmas Eve," EJ hit the replay button again he needed to see their faces, hear their voices again. This had to be one of the kindest things anyone had done for him and it would be one of his most treasured possessions from now on.

"Sometimes the best laid plans need to be tweaked a bit now and then sweet pea," Susan kissed his head one more before stepping back from him, she didn't want him to leave, but this was for the best for him, her son that was still so broken and confused.

"I guess so," EJ agreed touching the computer screen, his darling children wanted him back so even if he wasn't sure he was ready to return to Salem, he would do so for them.

He'd just have to make the best of things and hopefully Samantha was going to let him back in their lives. The children's lives, he wasn't going to attempt anything with Samantha, that bridge was long burned to the ground.

Burned with no chances of crossing back over it, sadly he was sure Samantha felt the exact same way about him too. He had come to realize some things were better left in the past. They just were.

Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part XXI

It took another month before EJ could arrange things to his satisfaction to return to Salem, all the while debating several times whether he should go back or not. He kept making excuses for delaying his return until Nanny threatened to take him over her knee if he didn't get a move on back to Salem. He wasn't still completely convinced that he needed to go back despite the DVD from his children, although it meant all the more to him that Allie had wanted him to come back home too. No matter what the DNA tests had proven, he'd always considered Allie to be his also. He'd felt it from the moment he had seen both of those babies in the hospital.

The time lag was not all due to scheduling conflicts as he had tried to claim to his mother, nanny and Edmund, he was just delaying the inevitable, because a huge part of him was not ready to face Samantha again. He had completely bared his soul to her, with the letters he had written to her he had given her an insight into places he had never let anyone into before and he had thought by the time he was scheduled to come back he could face her that is if she even wanted to see him.

He knew deep down her impromptu arrival at the airport that day was a knee jerk reaction, in typical Samantha fashion. While she had surprised him by coming there, a part of him had almost expected some kind of grandstand performance from her; it was what made her the one woman he somehow still couldn't get out of his mind.

He had wrestled with his emotions ever since he had left Salem, by writing the letters and giving her those objects he had held onto and some of them against her; he had truly wanted to close the door to his past with her. Writing the letters had been cathartic and he had thought it would provide some kind of closure on a chapter of his life that didn't need to be revisited ever again. He would always be grateful for the blessings of his children, but he couldn't say the same for his time with Samantha. The woman had ripped him open literally and left him to die, something he needed to keep in mind when he had to deal with her again.

Well he'd put if off long enough it was early November, he wished he could wait, but he'd made the children wait long enough. If their video was any indication of their wishes, then they wanted him back in their lives. He didn't know what kind of game Samantha was playing by sending it to him through Justin, was the video just to taunt him of what he had lost by his various heinous actions or was she truly trying to reach out to him?

One never knew with her, many times he had believed he could trust her and every single time she had betrayed him. At least this time away had strengthened his resolve not to fall prey to those mesmerizing blue eyes that somehow still haunted his dreams.

All these things he thought on the flight back to Salem. There were so many lose ends he needed to tie up. He had avoided contact with anyone, especially avoiding the attempts from his father. He knew it would be difficult to make his father see why he had decided upon this new juncture in his life, just another reason he had tossed his cell phone, he'd felt guilty enough especially after receiving the video from the children.

Johnny, Sydney and Allie were the sole reason he was returning to Salem. He knew he would never be whole again if he didn't have some kind of role in their lives, and he hated the uncertainty of everything being contingent upon the one woman who could cause such havoc in his life. As the announcement that the plane would soon be touching down his anxiety increased tenfold.

He'd always been in charge of his fate or so he had thought until the day he'd met that blue eyed devil named Samantha Brady. He was glad he had declined the last offer of drinks he would need all his facilities intact when he saw her again because Samantha held all the cards on whether or not he would see his children ever again.

He just prayed this time apart she had decided he was worth the duty of being a parent, he didn't know what he would do if she decided it would be better for the children if he didn't see them. Hopefully she would see he had changed, he was no longer a good DiMera soldier for his father, and he was his own man.

One that only wanted to share a part of his children's lives no matter how small it might be, his future was all in Samantha's hands whether she realized it or not. He hoped she wouldn't crush his dreams again like she had done so many times before.

Well he'd find out soon enough, as soon as he departed the plane he was headed to see Justin no matter that it was late, he had paid him generously for his services and he needed to see him to get some kind of gauge on how to deal with Samantha.

Not that gauges ever helped with her, but he didn't need to be going into things blindly, he may have changed his devious ways, but he wasn't a simpleton either. He felt better emotionally than he had in years, but he knew that all could be wiped out in mere seconds of Samantha deemed it so.

After departing the plane with his carry-on bag he took out his new cell phone, dialing Justin's number before he even started driving his Mercedes. While Justin didn't seem thrilled with EJ announcing his arrival back in Salem, he agreed to meet with him.

So within the hour of his return to Salem, EJ was seated in Justin's law office, them being the only ones in the building since it was nearing eleven in the evening.

"Justin I wanted to thank you for all of your help and to apologize for the lateness of the hour in which I summoned for you…"

"Adrienne isn't too pleased that I left her this late in the evening, but I was curious as to why you have returned before you told me you were coming home," Justin interjected wanting to know the reason why EJ was back in Salem. He wasn't sure of his motives, but he had only seemed to want to help Samantha and the children so that was why he had agreed to help him in the first place.

"While you are privy to my current business affairs, I don't really feel the need to share my entire life story with you," EJ wasn't sure he could trust Justin beyond what he had helped him draw up in the custody papers and the trust funds for the children.

"EJ, I'm not trying to pry, that is more the style of some of the nosy citizens of this town, you just had my curiosity piqued that was all," Justin shrugged his shoulders, EJ was a hard man to figure out, and he still wasn't sure why he had chosen him in the first place beyond thinking that Sami would trust him with the news he had imparted to her when EJ had left town.

"I didn't mean to come as standoffish, it's just that I really don't know what to expect and I needed some help," EJ hated showing any kind of weakness to anyone especially a Kiriakis, but Justin had proved he was more than worthy of his trust because he had handled these legal matters for him with discretion.

"What kind of help do you need?" Justin eyed him carefully, EJ was such a contradiction of sorts, one moment being closed off, and the next seeming to act like a friend to him or what he considered a tentative friendship would be with them since they were on warring families and had been for as long as he had known the DiMera family.

"I wanted to know how my children were," EJ began haltingly, "umm, it's just that I want to see them and since I gave Samantha sole custody, I'm not sure where to start."

Justin was quiet for a few moments before he phrased this question to EJ, "Are you wanting to know about Sami?"

"Well things hinge on her allowing me to see the children again, I gave up my rights to them at her request," EJ looked down at the floor this was awkward, he had hated relinquishing his rights, but at the time he had thought it was for the best for the children, they didn't need to be caught up in the cross fire of their father slowly self destructing.

"She is doing well," Justin supplied, "more than well actually, I mean she has surprised me by her actions."

EJ raised his head up meeting Justin's eyes with curiosity of his own, "Surprise you how?"

"You need to find those things out from her yourself," Justin replied cryptically.

"I hate having to go to that bloody apartment complex to see her," EJ said before he even realized he was letting Justin in to his personal thoughts on the matter.

"EJ, Sami isn't there,"

"Where is she then? She hasn't left with the children has she?" EJ felt a cold dread start to form inside of him. What if Samantha had left Salem with the children? He hadn't even thought of that option before since he had been so wrapped up in own personal journey to find out who he was without welding the DiMera power and influence on others.

"No, she hasn't left Salem," Justin assured him, wanting to avert the instant panic that had come across EJ's face when he had pondered the thought that Sami might have left Salem with the children. "Sami is here, she just isn't living at the apartment anymore."

"Where is she then? Where are my children?" EJ asked, relief flooding through him that his fears of the children being gone was just a terrible thought he had and not some new kind of reality for him to face upon his return to Salem.

"They are at your house."

"The mansion?"

"No your house, you know the one you bought before you left Salem?"

"Really? I never thought she would go there," EJ said in disbelief.

"Did you not want her to? I mean you left her instructions that she and the children could go there if they so desired." Justin didn't know what to think of EJ, he seemed to be all over the place emotionally.

EJ shook his head, "I just never thought she would go there. I specifically told her in the letters she wasn't to go there with Rafe."

"Rafe's not there," Justin offered up, looking at his watch, knowing Adrienne was waiting at home for him in their bed and he really wanted to get back to her. "So EJ let's make an appointment for tomorrow, I'd really like to get back to my wife."

EJ nodded his head; his mind spinning with all sorts of scenarios, none of them had Samantha not being with Rafe.

"EJ, I'm going home," Justin said as he stood, patting him on his shoulder as he walked past him.

"Okay, I guess I'm going to my house then," EJ said kind of dazed, wondering exactly why Samantha and the children were there at the house, but he had told her she could go there if she had felt the need.

"Good idea," Justin led EJ out of his office; trying to stifle a chuckle that threatened to come up because there weren't many times he had seen any of the DiMera's baffled so this was something for him to savor.

EJ held out his hand to shake with Justin's, "Thank you."

"No need to thank me, I'm just doing my job of being your lawyer," Justin replied matter of fact to EJ.

"Of course, goodnight Justin," EJ shook his head, trying to come out of this fog his brain seemed to have came upon with the news of Samantha being at the house, the one he had bought when he was being sentimental and reflecting on his life. While he had hoped she would go there he hadn't really believed she would even consider his offer.

He drove away from Justin's office feeling like he was on autopilot, driving past many of the familiar sites of Salem before heading out to the place he had bought never thinking Samantha would go there. When he arrived it was almost midnight, the house was dark with the exception of one lone light that was on in what he thought had to be the living room.

He almost didn't go to the front door, but he guessed if she was up she had heard the noise of his car driving up if she was still awake. He didn't want to worry her if she was up, he was sure the kids had been asleep for quite some time if they were still on their sleeping schedule they had before he had left the states.

He stood outside the door, hesitating before he knocked on the front door and then he reprimanding himself, he wasn't some cowardly timid man afraid of facing Samantha. So he rapped on the door, quietly at first and then with more force in his knocking so that she would hear him, he didn't want to ring the doorbell if it even worked because he needed to talk to Samantha before he saw the children if she let him see them.

He almost turned to leave, it was apparent no one was coming to the door, maybe Samantha had left the light on and she was asleep. He could wait until tomorrow to see her, it wasn't like she was expecting him to be there anyway and then the door opened to reveal a very sleepy looking vision of Samantha.

"Will, it's late," Sami said sleepily as she stood in the doorway, trying to adjust her eyes to the darkness of the outside when she paused, it wasn't Will standing in the doorway.

It was EJ, oh my god he had come back and he was standing on her doorstep awaiting some kind of response to her. She almost shut the door in his face, she wasn't prepared to see him again, but it was his house after all, she was a mere guest here so she stepped back and opened the door wider.

"Come in," she said softly while she waited for him to cross the threshold, which after a few moments he reluctantly obliged, neither one of them saying a word to the other as she shut the door behind him as he entered the house.

They looked at each other, still silent until Sami held out her hand in what appeared to be a greeting of sorts, "Hi, I'm Sami Brady."

EJ looked at her warily, what kind of game was she playing with him and she was using her maiden name too, this woman was so confusing. He almost didn't take her proffered hand, but he knew that would be terribly impolite so he decided to play along with her taking her smaller hand in his larger one, trying to stifle the instant electricity he felt as soon as their hands touched one another.

"Hi, I'm EJ Wells DiMera."

"Wells huh?" Sami asked wanting to pull back her hand, but she wasn't going to appear meek and mild in front of him despite his late night appearance throwing her off balance.

"Brady eh?" EJ countered back with a question of his own to her as he let her hand drop from his, not knowing how much longer he could take the contact with her without wanting more from her and he wasn't going down that road again.

"Yes, Sami Gene Brady," she supplied to him standing up straighter, wishing she wasn't in her pajama pants and a tight tank top, but she hadn't been expecting company at this late hour.

"Is Sami a nickname?" EJ asked her as if he didn't know the answer to the question he was posing to her.

"Yes, Sami is short for Samantha, but everyone calls me Sami."

"Would you mind if I called you Samantha? The name Sami doesn't seem to be worthy of such beauty," EJ wanted to kick himself mentally, but the words had slipped out of his mouth before he thought about them, this woman had that air about her, no matter how many times he had told himself he needed to leave her alone when he saw her in person she just did something to him and all rationale seemed to go by the wayside.

She didn't answer him immediately, but secretly she was happy he asked her that question. She tried to look nonchalant and replied with a shrug of her shoulders, "If you wish."

EJ nodded his head and gave her a smile, not a big one, but a smile none the less as she motioned for him to enter the living room. He wasn't sure where this conversation was going, but it was start and maybe they could come to some kind of amicable arrangement concerning the children, and that was all he wanted nothing more, nothing less.

Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part XXII

EJ took a seat on the somewhat spacious couch in the living room while Sami chose to sit in the chaise lounge which was situated a little away from the couch in a corner angle, all the while she unconsciously pushed some stray strands of hair from her face which had apparently fallen from the messy up do while she had slept. Neither of them knowing exactly what to say, so many things had happened between and it was difficult to make small talk.

Sami wished she were more appropriately dressed, being here with EJ in her pj's, no makeup and hair that wouldn't behave wasn't what she had planned for when they would see each other again. She was thrown off with him coming here in the middle of the night, while she had thought he may have come home sooner after the video the children had sent him than he did, she still wasn't prepared to see him in the flesh.

It wasn't fair that he looked good even if his suit was slightly rumpled from what she guessed was the plane flight in from god knows where he had been, thinking of which made her frown slightly. Exactly where had he been and what had he been doing? Then she shook her head, it wasn't any of her business, not anymore, she had given up that right long ago to know EJ's whereabouts.

EJ made the room seem smaller, Sami deduced as she squirmed opting to grab a throw from the chair she was sitting in, wrapping it securely around her form, and hoping it provided some kind of barrier. EJ could unnerve her with a single glance and she needed to give off a confident air around him instead of one of being unsure of everything about her.

"Are you cold?" EJ asked the obvious as Sami grasped the throw around her a little bit tighter.

"A little," she admitted, not wanting to let him know that it kind of embarrassed her that she was hardly clothed in comparison to him.

"Sorry for the late night intrusion, I just got in a little while ago and after seeing Justin he told me you and the children were staying here," EJ slouched a bit, placing his elbows on his legs while his chin rested in the palm of one hand as he looked at her, his eyes not giving any indication of what he was thinking.

"That's all right isn't it?" Sami asked, tucking her feet up under her body, seeming to draw away from him more physically. She had always hated surprises and EJ arriving in the middle of the night wasn't something she was ready for no matter how many sleepless nights she had wondering if and when he would return.

EJ shook his head, "Of course, I offered…"

"In your letters to me," Sami stated quietly, guessing now was as good of a time as any to bring up the reason she was here in the first place. If EJ hadn't of written the letters to her, she would probably still be playacting like she was happy being married to Rafe in the loft apartment. Something she was glad she wasn't doing anymore, but still she wasn't sure exactly where her life was going to lead her in the future.

"Yes, the letters," EJ shifted and leaned back on the couch. He hadn't expected her to bring them up so soon, if ever, he wondered to himself if she thought he was a fool for even writing them to her in the first place, but she was here with the children so that had to mean something, didn't it? "I guess this means you've read them?"

"Every last one of them," Sami replied with a slight nod of her head, wishing she didn't feel like she was a teenage girl again, his letters had been the most real thing she had ever read and they had literally changed the direction of her life. It was more than a bit disturbing that EJ could have seen into the real her by exposing what she knew had to be his true heart to her even if it was via the stack of letters she had in the trunk which was now situated at the foot of her bed, kind of like some kind of hope chest young girls kept long ago before they were to be married.

"I guess you think that was quite foolish of me, but given the circumstances," EJ's voice trailed off, he didn't have a clue of how or if his letters had affected her they way they had for him while he had written them to her amidst the drunken days he'd spent here in this very house before he left town.

"No, it wasn't foolish, it was quite romantic," Sami said, the throw slipping off her form as she moved off the chaise longue and went to sit by EJ, wishing she could reach out to him more, but this was all she could give him at the moment. He made her feel skittish and more than part of her was afraid to say more to him.

EJ scooted back a bit after Sami sat down on the couch beside him, he couldn't get closer to her. He shook his head, opting not to look into her eyes while he admitted softly, "Well you don't have to worry about that emotion from me anymore, that hopeless romantic within me died the moment I finished writing the letters to you."

"Did he really?" Sami asked him before she thought better of it, maybe it would be easier not to know the truth, but she was trying to live without the lies she had lived with for most of her entire teenage and subsequent adult life.

"He did," EJ said with finality in his tone that Sami hadn't heard before coming from him. He had many more questions for her, but it was late and he needed to go. He hadn't thought the conversation would be steered in this direction and he knew how wrong things could go between them, misunderstandings with Samantha were the norm, not the exception.

He attempted to stand to take his leave from her when she reached out her hand, placing it on his arm.

"Stay," she suggested, before removing her hand from his arm when he looked at her like she had burned him with her touch.

"The children…"

"Will want to see their father," Sami said thinking how delighted they would all be to see his face again. They had missed him so much and she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret from them that EJ was back in town.

"I guess I could sleep on the couch," EJ shrugged, hoping it would be comfortable, even though he detested sleeping on couches.

"Uh, we fixed a room for you," Sami began to rise from the couch; she couldn't believe she was saying it, but it was true, she had chosen another bedroom when they had moved into the house, opting to leave the master bedroom if EJ returned.

"Why would you do that?" EJ looked at her with confusion; he didn't understand her at all.

"It's your house," Sami replied as she motioned for him to follow her.

EJ almost said aloud that it was their house, but luckily he stopped himself before he uttered the words. He didn't follow her, just stood in the living room considering his options, he was tired, but still he didn't want to confuse the children by his sudden presence here in the house.

Sami realized he wasn't following her and she turned back to him, "Look I know it may seem strange…"

"That's an understatement," EJ broke in before he saw her narrow her eyes slightly so he kept mum from saying more to her.

"I know I've hurt you and you've hurt me. So I guess what I'm asking is can we just call it even and try to go on from there?"

"Even, like we just forget the past?" EJ asked, with a shake of his head, feeling like he had stepped into some kind of weird version of the twilight zone with her.

"The kids need you here, I'm not asking you to stay for my sake," Sami huffed, not wanting to fight with him, why couldn't he see this was the best option for them all. "I mean it's not like I'm asking you to move in with me, not romantically or anything else of the sort."

He guessed she was throwing in the romantically part for his sake since he had informed her earlier he wasn't that kind of man anymore which was good, no use in him pretending to be something that was long gone.

"So you suggesting we both live here?" EJ raised a curious brow in her direction.

"Yes, platonically, you know as friends," Sami stuttered slightly, not wanting him to think more into this than what she was offering.

"We're not friends anymore Samantha," EJ stated matter of fact hating to see her face fall after he said the words to her.

"We could be, if we really tried," Sami said her blue eyes searching his hoping they could do the impossible, they needed to for their children. "For the children, EJ, we need to do this for them. God knows we've screwed up their lives enough as it is already."

Oh great now she was throwing in tons of guilt about their kids, something he knew she was quite capable of, hell he was too for that matter.

This wasn't a good idea, it wouldn't work he thought as he pondered if such a thing was actually possible given their past history. All he knew was that it always hurt to have her close, but out of reach, because he knew she'd never be his. He was sick of the constant heartache; he was tired of feeling like his heart had been stomped upon by being around her. That was the reason he had left Salem to find some kind of release from the strange hold Samantha had on his heart from the first moment he had laid his eyes upon her.

He had willingly stepped out of the picture so they could find some kind of peace and solace away from each other. Now she expected him to move on like she cared and actually wanted to be his friend again.

He should get out of here now while he still could, but then he looked back into those fathomless sapphire eyes that could still bewitch no matter how much he claimed they didn't. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her no, that he'd find somewhere else to stay, but those eyes were almost daring him to take her up on her challenge.

He let out a deep breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and nodded his head, "Okay, show me to my room."

He only hoped he wasn't making a huge mistake by agreeing to stay here.

Moonlit Wishes
Book II, Part XXIII

He had to admit, it was a nice room, the bedroom Samantha had ushered him into before telling him an abrupt goodnight. He guessed it would be complicated for them to both live here together, well not in this room, they would be roommates. He sighed it wasn't like they were going to share this room together.

He looked to the bed, it was big, big enough for two and that was saying a lot considering his height and body frame. He shouldn't think of the bed in that context though, he was finished with impossible dreams and schemes of trying to win Samantha over. He had meant it that he wanted no part in anything resembling romance.

His days of being a fool for love were dead to him. He wasn't going to risk his heart ever again, especially not to the woman who was sleeping in another bedroom somewhere in this very house. He wanted to check in the rooms to see his children sleeping, but he didn't want to wake them.

He would have time to see them tomorrow; it would be Saturday which meant no school for them. While he didn't know what type of routine they were now in with this school year he would familiarize himself with it during this next week. He paced the bedroom, even though he was tired after speaking with Samantha he wasn't ready to go to sleep, plus he didn't want to go to sleep with her on his mind, no doubt he'd be dreaming of her and he didn't want his subconscious to bring visions of her into his dreams.

It was going to be difficult enough living here; he might just stay for a day or two until he found another place to live. He wasn't going back to the DiMera mansion; he had meant it when he had told his father he was breaking ties with the family business. He wasn't going to be involved in things that could come back to harm his family in any shape or form.

You would think his father would understand his decision to step down and away from more of the sordid aspects of their business. While EJ could claim DiMera Enterprises did in fact have several legitimate businesses, it was the other side venues that he no longer wanted to have any involvement in because ultimately when the children grew up they would be confronted with some very ugly truths about their father unless he stayed true to this new course of action and distanced himself from his own father, their grandfather.

The drug running and distribution, illegal gambling, money laundering, even prostitution were things his family were involved in and while he had partook in overseeing some of these less than seemly projects he didn't like it. His own life was a mess, he certainly didn't want to add to other's misery any more and the bottom line was those sidelines of their business destroyed others.

Not that he was now some sort of do-gooder, but he really wanted to be a man his children would be proud of to have as their father along with their family name and it was going to be an uphill battle to make those necessary changes. So if being a man of ethics was what it would take to facilitate this change, he was going to have to buckle down and do it.

He thought back to the many times Stefano told him about the importance of family. It was a mantra his father repeated to him time and time again.

"Family comes first in life. It is a man's most important duty to protect his family from any form of harm. Be willing to lay down your life if need be to ensure they will be safe. The bonds of family are strong, stronger than anything else in this world. Honor your family with respect and loyalty. Without family we are nothing!"


EJ only wished his father had taught him of love, of the sacrifices a person must be willing to give to others, of how to bring happiness into a home without hidden agendas and threats to have other comply with your wishes. His father had taught him what his father had taught him, too bad neither had stressed the importance of the power of love.

EJ loved his children, had loved them enough to let them go, now he hoped Samantha would see that he was going to do whatever it took to make his family feel safe, protected and most importantly loved.

He took off his jacket and placed it neatly on a nearby chair, his other clothes followed until he was left with only his boxers on. He was too tired to retrieve his suitcase from his car so he would just try to get some rest, he would need it for tomorrow. He and Samantha had so much to discuss, but he wanted to see his children first.

He turned off the lights in the room, then pulled back the comforter on the bed and settled into it, thinking that Samantha had put a lot of work into this house because it had been in desperate need of restoring and repairs when he had purchased it months ago. He hadn't thought she would take him up on his offer of taking sanctuary there, but then again she often surprised him when he least expected it.

There would be time enough to talk things through with Samantha. He had been out of the loop for months, cutting himself off from Salem so that he wouldn't think of her. He was going to remain true to his resolve to steer clear of her; he really didn't know what her angle was by inviting him to stay in the house with them.

He was quickly falling asleep, the exhaustion of the trip was finally catching up to him, but before he closed his eyes in slumber, something caught his attention in the moonlight. He rolled over in the bed to get a closer look at the picture that was placed on the nightstand beside the bed. Sitting up he reached over to retrieve it from its resting place and his breath caught.

He'd almost missed it, but there it was the picture he'd framed of Johnny's drawing of their family that he'd given to Samantha when he had written her the letters. The one thing EJ had told Samantha before they were engaged that he wanted most of all, for them to be a true family in every sense of the word.

He was confused, why would Samantha make him a room for him even when he hadn't been there with them and then placed what was one of his most prized possessions in there for him? He held the picture to his chest momentarily and then gently placed it back on the nightstand, careful not to put it too close to the edge where it might fall off and break.

He wasn't sure of anything at all anymore; he turned away from the picture and faced the other way. He shut his eyes tightly and did his best to push the images away of that summer he had thought they would all be a real family once and for all. He didn't need to get sucked back into believing anything was possible because the heartache he had endured over the last year had almost killed him, literally and figuratively.

He was going to do his best by his children, but that was all. He wasn't going to harbor hopes of sharing a life with Samantha any longer. He doubted they could even be friends like she had suggested earlier. His last thoughts before he fell asleep were of not being sucked back into false hopes; he would never survive another round with her ever. His tattered heart just couldn't take it.