A/N: Where I found out how hard it is to name a horse.
We finished our breakfast after that in relative peace and I was grateful that Francis refrained from mentioning the night before. I doubted he would mind but I really didn't want to tell Mathias that I had to confer with Francis to get the idea. Or that Francis had seen me naked.
He had never said it outright but I sometimes felt that Mathias didn't like the idea of me being used by other men before him. Well he mostly didn't like it for obvious reasons, namely his lover being abused by dirty old men while he failed to safe me, that was at least what he said he regretted the most. But there was another side to it. He was not exactly jealous but he hated the thought that someone else had his hands on me before he ever got the chance to. But like the big fool he was he blamed himself for that too.
Maybe that was one of the reasons I loved him for. No, not maybe; for sure.
I slipped a hand under the table and rested it on Mathias' knee to show my appreciation. Mathias was still in the middle of his and Arthur's conversation but he cast me a questioning glance and I smiled in return. That was something that I had done a lot recently, smiling. It was a good feeling though, I could get used to it.
I noticed Emil watching me with curious intent and even though he couldn't have possibly seen the position of my hand, I blushed a bit. But I didn't remove my hand. And then I felt a warmth engulfing my fingers and I realized that Mathias had placed his hand on mine. My smile, that had temporarily faltered under Emil's gaze rekindled and I looked down on my plate to hide it from view. I must have looked pretty stupid by then.
"Does it really feel this nice?" Emil asked and there was a the slightest hint of longing in his voice. I looked up, surprised, and I noticed the same expression of longing on his face. I remembered our conversation on the way here, when Emil mentioned that he wasn't missing someone by his side. It seemed that had changed now.
I entwined my fingers with Mathias' so that we were holding hands under the table, it felt warm and reassuring which was exactly what I needed in that moment. "It feels much better than only nice." I said and smile at my brother who looked at me with eyes so innocent. In many ways Emil was just like me, we didn't have any friends in our childhood and so naturally he had latched onto me. And just like I had been, he was completely oblivious to the wonderful feeling that was love.
"It is hard to explain but being in love makes everything seem brighter. I never realized it before, but my life was just a continuity of pointless events. Had I continued like this I would have wasted my life away, but since I met Mathias I know that there is more to it. Just to know that he is there gives my life a meaning. Don't get me wrong you are there too and you are as important to me as Mathias but eventually you will be able to stand on your own feet and then you will no longer need me."
I paused for a moment to think of my next words, it was hard to put my feelings into speech like that. "But Mathias will always need me and I will need him, so we complement each other. Without Mathias I am only half a human but with him I am everything. And there is no feeling that can compare even closely to the feeling when you are held in your lover's arms. When you embrace each other and become one."
I hadn't intended to make such a long speech out of it but describing love to someone who had never experienced it was not that easy. Emil was looking at me, I could see the wheels turning behind his forehead as he tried to make sense of what I said. The picture was strangely endearing with the puffin perched on his head that seemed to mimic its owners expression. Sadly, I didn't feel like I had made a good job with describing love. If all, Emil seemed even more confused than before.
"It's like being only one half of a tea cup." Arthur suddenly said, I hadn't noticed until then that the rest of the table had started to listen to us. "Alone you are useless, no one can drink tea out of you but with your other half you are complete and functional." Arthur looked at Francis with a so far unknown fond expression in his eyes and Francis returned his smile warmly and for a moment they just stared in each other's eyes, lost in the depth of their emotion.
"And no matter how cheesy something is, when you are in love it becomes the most romantic thing you ever heard." Mathias grinned his wide face-splitting grin and looked for some reason very pleased with himself. Maybe because he had listened in to my confession about love, I had admitted after all some very 'cheesy' things.
"Or you just turn domestic like these two." Mathias announced as in that exact moment Tino entered the room, followed by Berwald. "Wait what?" Tino slumped down on a chair and grabbed a piece of bread, glancing back and forth between Mathias who was trying to pull off a look of innocence and Berwald who was more interested in his tea than his lover's confusion.
"We're telling Emil about love." Francis had used the opportunity of Arthur's docile behavior to get a generous share of kisses that hopefully would last him through the day. With Arthur it was always a bit unpredictable whether he would accept the affection or chide him for his 'lewd behaviour'.
Tino's face lightened up immediately and he clapped his hands together in excitement. "Oh Emil that is wonderful, I didn't know you were interested in that. But don't worry I can tell you aaaall about it." I didn't miss the look of dread that flashed over Emil's face, even though it was so fast gone that no one else noticed it. Sure, Tino, and the others too, meant well but Emil came to me, his brother, for advice and that certainly didn't include a group session about love. And now with Tino involved he would definitely get more then he had bargained for.
But before things could get out of hand, Berwald spoke up: "Tino," Was all he said, but together with the stare he gave his lover it was enough to shut Tino up. The blonde faltered a bit and smiled sheepishly, but he seemed to understand nevertheless. "I'm sorry Emil I get too excited about things at times and then I start to ramble. Berwald always needs to stop me then."
"It's okay. You guys have helped me out enough I guess." Despite his words I couldn't help but feel that there was still something on his mind but I wouldn't ask Emil that, while all the others were listening. Emil stayed silent after that and since he didn't look like he was going to say anything soon, everyone returned to their breakfast.
"So you need me, huh?" Mathias asked once the table's attention was drawn elsewhere. I put the last piece of bacon in my mouth and chewed deliberately before I leaned over to Mathias and whispered in his ear: "Of course I need you. Who else is there to stuff his dick down my ass?" The look that passed over Mathias face was priceless. There was an obvious leer, followed by a look of fake hurt. "So you only like me because of my body?" Mathias pouted and started to poke his food dejectedly with his fork.
The whole scene had something endearing and I felt the sudden urge to ruffle Mathias' hair. And it wasn't so far of the truth really, Mathias of course knew my feelings but with how I had difficulties expressing my feelings at the beginning of our relationship there had been times when Mathias easily could have believed this.
I pulled Mathias in for a kiss, a long and sweet one, and when we broke apart I smiled at him. "I don't only like you, I love you. And granted you're body is great but that's not the main reason I love you." For a moment Mathias looked as if he were deep in thought, then his usual wide grin returned and he threw his arms around me. "Lukas you are the best." I tried in vain to pry his clinging form from me and eventually settled with returning the embrace. "I know." I answered with a smug grin on my face.
Mathias chuckled against my neck and then I felt something warm and suspiciously wet press against my skin. "And don't worry; you will get enough opportunity to be penetrated with this great body of mine."
Somehow we were actually able to finish breakfast like this, and since all of our duties had been canceled we could go on our ride immediately after we finished eating up. I had to admit I was a bit excited; I had grown tired of riding endless circles in the paddock rather quickly, so I had been looking forward to this for quite a while now.
James' horses were mainly used for work, so they had a heavy built and were pretty strong, but he also had a pair of riding horses, with a slim build and well-trained. James had trained all his horses for possible riding, in case it came in handy, which could happen all the time, according to James, but since they were not bred for riding the work horses had a rougher way of moving and were overall a bit more restless. Emil and I, the only beginners in the group, naturally got the two horses that were the easiest to handle, and since we had spent the last few days on their backs, the horses had gotten used to us.
I came to quite like my horse, she was an even-tempered beauty, long dark tresses fell over her kind brown eyes and she liked to nibble at my shirt, no matter how often I would push her head away. Her mane was darker than her coat, which was a reddish shade of brown, almost like a chestnut and the only light spot was the white blaze on her forehead. Her name was Ariadne.
Emil's horse on the other hand was a gelding with the most bored expression I had ever seen on a horse. But then again I hadn't seen that many horses before in my life. His coat was brighter than Ariadnes and sometimes I thought that she outright bullied him. I had seen more than once how Ariadne snatched away his oat and all he ever would do was snorting and looking even more bored. But no matter how bad she harassed him, the moment one of James' pack donkeys looked at him the wrong way she would turn on them. She was more a show-off than a real threat but whenever she trotted around the paddock, striking up the sassiest pose in her repertoire with neck and tail bowed, she looked rather impressive, almost a bit intimidating.
The moment the donkeys returned to their idle munching of grass and hay, she would start with the bullying again. It was no surprise to me really when James told me they were siblings. The geldings name was Faro, and I had the slightest hunch that his continued indifference towards his sister's shenanigans was one reason why she was so persistent.
There was not much to be said about the other horses, they were all big and intimidating and I wouldn't have dared to come anywhere close to them. But James promised that they were tame enough and so Mathias, Arthur and Francis mounted their big hairy hoof beasts.
It was still cold, albeit the snow had cleared up mostly, it was a pristine morning with the air as crisp as it could be. We all had put on thick and warm clothing for it would get rather cold on the back of a horse. With the help of one of the stable boys I managed to get on Ariadne's back, to my frustration I was still not able to mount her on my own.
But at least Emil needed some assistance too; I didn't need to feel that bad about it. James would be the leader of our small party obviously; he was the only one who knew the way after all. Berwald and Tino had come out with Peter to see us off and after a bit of waving and cheering we were off.
It was maybe not the smartest thing to go on an excursion when there could be enemy soldiers around, but Steve had promised us to send word should we be in any danger. He and the rest of their group had left shortly after David to fulfill their duty and since then we hadn't heard anything from them. But it wouldn't take long now until the King's army would reach the area and then there would be hopefully peace again.
One of the things James wanted to do in the village was checking if any news arrived on the status of the war, if this whole thing could really be called a war since no one really seemed to know what was going on anymore. But mostly he just wanted to show us the scenery.
James rode ahead, pointing here and there and explaining as much as he could, but the only one who really listened was Arthur who listened intently to everything James said. Francis was riding behind them and seemed lost in his own thoughts, as was Emil who gazed off into the distance. For once his puffin didn't come with us, he had left him in Peter's care but I suspected he did that for Peter's sake who had taken a liking to the bird and not for the puffin.
Mathias and I were the last and even though I couldn't really hear what James was explaining I still enjoyed the beautiful sight around us. We were riding along a dirt path that meandered through fields and a pine forest stood in the distance. The sky was clear blue and even though it was winter the view over the vast fields and the tree line in the distance was amazing. Maybe it was just the calming motion of the horse underneath me but riding through nature was irresistibly soothing to my mind.
It seemed as if it was true what they said about horses and the luck of the world.*
Even Mathias was silent and there was a content smile on his face as he swayed in time with the steps of his mount. Ariadne was not small by any means, as wasn't her brother, but compared to the other horses they were mere dwarves. It could have been accounted to their built but I felt more than intimidated by them. Faro and Ariadne on the other hand didn't seem fazed by their presence at all. The former simply didn't care while the latter was too full of herself to ever be belittled. True to her nature Ariadne wasn't merely walking, no she was strutting, head held high and whenever Mathias' horse came too close she would flick her tail in dismay.
This horse was the biggest diva I had ever encountered. But at least she behaved under me. I hated to admit it but I would probably lose a battle of wills against her.
Fortunately my little bed adventure from the day before had remained without any bad consequences, my legs were a little sore but I had grown used to that. After taking riding lessons for days I had suffered from quite a lot muscle aching and now it finally seemed that my leg muscles adapted to it. The only thing that still bothered me was the soreness of my skin, caused by the constant rubbing against the saddle. James had given us riding pants that cushioned the contact but that only helped so much.
Yet it was undeniable that this whole business of horse riding was relaxing and I could get used to that. Not to mention that travelling on horseback was much more comfortable than walking around the whole day. Hopefully David would manage to get us horses; we would reach the capital in no time.
I was actually beginning to look forward to that, Tino had told me so much about the winter solstice and the Yule celebrations that I couldn't wait to see it myself. And I remembered Mathias' promise to joust in my favor, which for some reasons made me feel giddy like a girl. I had already decided to reward Mathias for his efforts then; even if he would lose I would prepare something special. I had taken a liking to surprise Mathias or more precisely I had taken a liking to being in charge.
But there was something else I would like to try one day. And if Mathias would win, I could take the opportunity to try that out, if I could wait so long that is. I surely liked being in control, but seeing Mathias so helpless beneath me, completely at my mercy, had aroused another desire in me. I wanted to be dominated; I wanted to be the one at Mathias' mercy, shamelessly begging for my release, doing everything to please him, and at the thought of Mathias smirking down at me, I could feel a certain warmth in my lower body parts.
I cast a glance to Mathias who was oblivious to my thoughts and tried to imagine what he would look like when he found me in his bedroom, again in woman's lingerie but this time bound and gagged and completely helpless to whatever he would do. I almost moaned at the thought, it was too delicious and more arousing than I had expected.
Oh yes, I was definitely going to do that, and from the feeling I got from just imagining I probably wouldn't be able to wait for the solstice celebration. And I would need Francis help again, not a pleasant thought but I was sure that it was worth it.
I grinned to myself as I continued watching Mathias who at some point realized that I was staring but at his question if I was alright I only deepened my grin. "I'm more than alright."
This was going to be great.
...
A/N: There is a saying in German that translates to this: The luck of the earth lies on the back of a horse. I don't know if there is an equivalent in English but I liked this one so I decided to reference it.
Original: Das Glück der Erde liegt auf dem Rücken der Pferde.