Sometimes, there are worse things than a loved one dying..
Sometimes, it feels like they are behind a glass wall, jail bars, etc. They can see you, you can see them, but a barrier keeps the two of you apart.
Sometimes, you have the urge to break that glass. But as you reach out, you stop. Doubts cloud your head. Maybe they are happy. Maybe they would hate you for trying to break it.
It hurts. Worse than death, because at least when someone is dead you can never talk to them until you die yourself.
Every tentative look claws at your heart until you can't breathe. You have the urge to weep and give up, but you can't because then they would see the damage.
So you hold it inside. Stand up straight and act content. Maybe they won't see it.
Erik stared at Allegra through the glass of the hospital door, thinking about the wall he kept between them. Thinking about Christine, and when they had stared at each other through his wall.
That kind of barrier wasn't that bad, since he loved Allegra, but the barrier he was keeping between Allegra and himself was starting to quiver. He could feel it since he professed his love out loud.
She was lying in her hospital bed as he thought about what to do, sleeping.
Did she remember when he had said he loved her?
Oh, it didn't matter what she remembered. The emotion burned inside him like conflagration in the darkness of his heart.
It was pretty obvious, but then again Allegra looked like a lost puppy at times.
A cute, loveable-. Gah, what was he doing? The last time he fell in love it ended his life. Now what would happen?
The girl had a bad habit of ending up in the hospital, he admitted. And someone had to solve this mystery before she really did die.
He paced back and forth, hitting the opposite wall a couple times to take out some anger and confusion. In a weird way, the anger helped him think things through.
The past shouldn't matter as much as he has let it. Unlike movies where they constantly flashback to previous moments, the future is a blank canvas.
If he wanted to be with Allegra, then Christine and Meg and Raoul and everyone else shouldn't matter so much.
A few nurses rushed into Allegra's room, and he peered inside, expecting the worse.
After they cleared away he watched Allegra sit up, her green eyes blinking rapidly and her eyebrows knit in confusion.
He was invisible, so for now it was okay to show the mix of love and pain on his face.
He knew this was the fork in the road.
He could either continue his adventure with Allegra, or he could run away to Italy. Run away from what his heart was telling him was right, and to his brain what was wrong.
Erik was told that he was a monster so many times it was cemented into his brain. That he would never find someone that would love him seemed like a truth for so long..
Despite the pain that would occur every time he looked at Allegra from now on, it was better than not feeling anything at all. Living life as an emotionless, wandering ghost didn't seem as great as loving Allegra.
And so he chose his heart after all.
(Again, super sorry for the short chapter. It's like the transitional phase right now, so you can experience what the character is feeling before the real action starts. My heart is in this chapter though, so don't hate it too much. It's a good outlet sometimes when times are really tough.. Anyways! I promise to make the next chapter twice as long to make it up to you guys. I'm planning on giving myself a relaxing vacation for the next few days so I can write. I've had too many stress-induced headaches. As always, thanks for reading! You guys mean a lot to me, because a big dream in my life is for my words to be read. :) 'Till the next chapter.)