A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, and to my wonderful beta reader, Rosalie! I'm sorry this chapter took a little longer to post than I wanted - my computer died, and I'm having to work from a temporary one until we can figure out something more permanent. At least I had my files backed up, so I didn't lose anything I'd written, but it's been difficult to access email to get Rosalie's comments. Sigh.
Chapter 25: Tobias – His Family
A very large part of me thinks it's too soon to bring Tris to this dinner. She hasn't even been back for a full week, and I'm having her spend time with my mother? After everything that Evelyn did to her in the past?
But if I want others to accept that I've grown and changed in the last year, I have to extend the same credit to my mother. She's worked as hard as I have, and I do know that she regrets how she treated Tris the first time around.
Besides, I feel like I owe it to Margaret. My sister has been waiting for hundreds of days, as she firmly reminded me last week, to see Tris again. She wants to get to know the woman who saved her from Eric, and then showed Amanda Ritter's video to the whole city…. And it's hard to deny a ten-year-old the chance to be around her personal hero.
So, I try to hide my nerves as Tris and I walk to Candor, our hands laced together in the brisk afternoon air. We could take the bus, I know, but I've spent so many hours treading the pavement in this city that it's instinctive to go on foot at this point. And Tris doesn't seem to mind. If anything, I think she prefers it – she was probably cooped up more than she liked in Philadelphia.
"Are you sure I won't be intruding by coming to this?" she asks, sounding as uncertain as I feel. It's an opportunity to delay the "reunion" a few weeks if I want, but I already know I won't take it. The Dauntless in me would rather just face this head-on.
"You're definitely welcome there," I tell her. Smiling a little, I add, "Though I can't promise it won't be awkward at first. It is my mother, after all."
Tris laughs – a cute little burst of anxiety mixed with amusement.
"All right," she responds after a moment. "But you have to come to lunch with Caleb and Anna sometime in return."
I nod, thinking about that. The last time I saw Anna was when I returned her ring, some four months ago. That was a rough day. It was almost like losing Tris all over again to part with that band, but it was the right thing to do.
"That seems like a fair exchange," I finally agree.
A smile curves Tris' mouth. "I don't know about fair," she comments, her tone turning playful. "They both like you a lot more than I think Evelyn likes me."
My eyebrow arches skeptically at her. Given everything that's happened, I find it unlikely that Caleb is my fan. But Tris insists, "They do. Really."
Her expression turns serious again as a memory seems to intrude, and I watch her bite her lip. Her voice is quiet when she continues. "Caleb once told me that you helped him become a better person." That's a startling revelation, and I'm silent while I absorb the thought.
She clears her throat. "And Anna told me that you cared more about me than I thought. And that I should talk to you." A small smile forms on her face as she adds, "And give you a chance."
Warmth spreads through me at the words. After what I did to Tris, I didn't expect to ever receive her family's approval. And given my own childhood, I didn't expect to care whether or not I did. But in this moment, I realize that I do.
My instinct, though, is still to deflect. "Well," I mutter, "she might be a bit biased." After all, she's bound to appreciate the person who returned her wedding ring.
To my surprise, Tris laughs. "Tobias, everyone in the country is biased toward you." She shakes her head a little. "Trust me – Anna is more neutral than most, since she never heard your broadcast. She likes you for more reasons than that."
For a moment, I'm just confused. "I wasn't referring to the broadcast," I explain.
It doesn't seem to help. Tris looks at me blankly, clearly having no idea what else I might mean, and I stare back, trying to figure out why she doesn't understand. And gradually it comes to me. Anna didn't tell her about the ring.
It never even remotely occurred to me that she wouldn't.
My gaze shifts ahead, to where Candor is now visible. There's no time for a full discussion on this subject, and for all I know, there's a good reason for Anna's silence. Maybe she decided she doesn't want to pass the ring on to Tris after all. Or maybe something happened to it after I returned it.
Or maybe she wants it to be a surprise for Tris down the road….
I'm not going to restart my old habit of keeping secrets from Tris, but at the same time, it seems wrong to say anything until I at least talk to Anna. So, I pull on my inner Zeke to come up with an excuse.
Holding a straight face and an even voice, I comment, "I meant she might be biased by my dazzling good looks."
Tris can't help laughing at that. She probably doesn't really buy it, though given how much time I've been spending with Zeke and Uriah, she might. But either way, she at least seems to be willing to let it pass for now.
"Well," she says conspiratorially, leaning close enough to bump her shoulder into me, "I might be a little biased by that, too."
The first half of dinner is as awkward as I expected. It doesn't help that Margaret's adoptive parents are Candor to the core, so they insist on pointing out the strain that the rest of us are trying to ignore – as well as every attempt we make to bypass it.
To give my mother credit, she does try. She calls Tris by her preferred name, instead of Beatrice, and she engages in Abnegation small talk as if she thinks that will make Tris feel more comfortable. She even says nice things about what it was like to work with Anna. Tris smiles at that, though I can tell that it's because Anna didn't reciprocate the sentiment – not because she actually appreciates the words.
Margaret, in the meantime, chats about how the city has changed as a result of Amanda Ritter's video, and how glad she is that Tris showed everyone the truth. It's a very Candor attitude…until she talks about how much safer it is to be Divergent now. That catches Tris' attention, and we have the first real conversation of the night as we discuss what it was like to hide in the faction of the honest and how Margaret feels about the new options she has available in life these days.
Tris opens up even more when my sister asks about life in the rest of the country. My mother joins in then, too, and we end up having an interesting discussion about government and politics and the challenges of getting people to change. It spreads a new type of warmth through me to have this kind of family conversation with the people I love most. I wonder what it would have been like to grow up with this.
When we finally leave, Margaret gives Tris a genuinely affectionate hug before doing the same with my mother and then me.
"Don't lose her again," she whispers in my ear, and I can't help smiling in response. It's nice to have my sister truly care about my girlfriend.
"I won't," I murmur into her hair before releasing her, and she nods seriously at me. Clearly, she plans to hold me to that promise.
Evelyn walks out with us, and I'm instantly nervous again. She obviously wants to talk to Tris a little more without Margaret or her adoptive parents around to hear, and I know why. It's valid, and necessary, but it's hard to trust that my mother will handle the conversation well. Her history isn't exactly great that way.
"Dinner was very enjoyable," Evelyn begins, her voice somewhat stiff. "I'm glad you joined us, Be…Tris."
"I was glad to come," Tris responds in her polite Abnegation tone. The exchange makes me grit my teeth against all the awkwardness that's hiding just beneath the surface.
My mother clears her throat before adding, "Margaret has been wanting to spend time with you ever since you saved her from Eric." It's the transition into what I know is coming, and I'm glad that Tris doesn't respond – she just gives Evelyn time to continue on her own. It takes a moment.
"I never thanked you for that," she finally murmurs, "and I should have. She looks down, her face largely hidden in the dark night air. "I didn't thank you for saving Tobias' life, either, though I knew about that, too."
She stops walking and faces Tris directly, taking a deep breath. "I want to apologize. You never did anything to deserve the way I treated you. I was…in a very dark place at that time, but that's not an excuse. I was petty and jealous and…awful to you, and it wasn't right. I'm sorry for that."
We're all silent for a few seconds before Evelyn adds, "I don't expect you to forgive me today – or ever, necessarily – but I wanted to tell you that. And to say that…I hope there's some chance we can start fresh."
Tris hesitates, and I can see her biting her lip in the dim light. She's forgiven some enormous wrongs in her young life, between me and Caleb and Peter, and it might be too much to ask her to accept my mother's apology, too.
But her eyes turn to me with a thoughtful expression, and slowly she nods. Turning back to Evelyn, she speaks softly. "I'd like that."
We walk my mother back to her home before continuing on to ours. It's much colder now that night has fallen – cold enough that we seem to be the only ones outside. But it's also beautiful, with the full moon clearly visible in a cloudless sky. I watch Tris in its light as we walk together, my gloved hand holding her arm gently.
We're a few blocks from our faction when I pull her to a stop in the middle of the sidewalk. The need to touch her has been building up all evening and has reached the point of being overwhelming, so I remove my gloves, shoving them into my pockets before allowing my fingers to trace her cheekbones.
"You're amazing," I murmur, sliding my hands lightly through her hair. "You know that, right?"
She doesn't have a chance to answer before I tilt her head up and bring my lips to hers. It's a sweet, delicate kiss.
"Thank you for giving my mother another chance," I add when we draw far enough apart.
She smiles a little. "I'm glad she wanted one," she says quietly. The corners of my mouth lift in response as I drop my forehead to rest on hers. "And…." Her voice gets even softer. "I'm glad to see that she's trying to be the mother you deserve."
And as I did earlier, I feel warmth spreading inside me at the thought of having a real family. At the thought of deserving one. And especially at the thought of it including Tris.
"We've both worked on our relationship," I tell her, leaning down to kiss her again. My lips are still brushing hers as I add, "It's been kind of nice."
I can feel her smile against my mouth before she pulls back far enough to meet my eyes. She caresses my cheek with a gloved hand.
"I love you, Tobias," she whispers, and it's as if everything good in the world is pulled into that phrase. I will never get used to hearing her say that.
My mouth fits itself to hers again, more deeply this time, as my hands move down her back and hold her to me. I breathe her in, letting all of the incredible feelings that go with her scent fill me until there are almost no words left in my brain.
"I love you, too." It's the only thing I'm capable of saying in that moment, but that's fine. It's the only thing I ever want to say.
A/N: Please take a moment to review this chapter. I'm still fighting the whole temporary computer mess, so it's difficult to write, and I could definitely use your encouragement. Thanks!