The rest of the day was rather uneventful compared to the turbulent morning. After a bit more talking we learned that Gilbert most likely resided somewhere in the capital, and since we were heading there anyway, it was decided that Ludwig's gang could just tag along, much to Jan's chagrin. The wounded soldier was still an issue. But after a close examination James deemed his survival as unlikely and in the rare event of him recovering, James promised to find a solution that involved no more bloodshed.

Mathias could still ride a horse, more or less, so we would stick to our plan of departing on the next day. No matter how often James insisted that we could stay for the rest of the winter, nobody wanted to delay much longer. The weather had been stable throughout the last days and we didn't want to risk waiting any longer in case of another snowfall. James and his family had taken us in with much warmth and care but we all longed for home, even if said home in most of our cases was more an idea than an actual thing.

Still I wanted to see Mathias' home, the city he had been raised in and the house he had grown up in and I wanted to have a place to live in that was actually mine. Sure, I would miss James, Hannah and even Peter, but I missed a peaceful life even more. The others all felt similar, I was not the only one who had grown restless during the last few days.

Jan still kept a close look on Ludwig and his two remaining men but they behaved themselves and even helped with the work. Since Mathias was injured he couldn't do his chores and I, even though uninjured, was allowed a break to keep him company, just as Tino had been when he watched over Berwald. The aforementioned was much better than he had been when we arrived, the wound was aching and red, but mostly healed and he could walk around without any mentionable pain. Riding would be tough though, but Berwald was determined to try it and no one had the heart to deny him since he wanted to go home just as much as the rest of us.

We spent the rest of the morning with talking to the soldiers, or rather Mathias talked to them, I was content with just listening. They were a hearty bunch, full of bawdy jokes and good natured slaps on the shoulder, and I could see how much he enjoyed their company. Jan was somewhere outside, keeping an eye out on Ludwig, Roderich and Eli, and I couldn't really say that I blamed him for that.

I trusted them in a way, there was no reason to disbelief their story, but Ludwig had not only been present during but also been a major cause to some of the key moments that endangered my life so I would never really stop being wary around him.

The afternoon was even more uneventful; we kept Hannah and Francis company in the kitchen as they prepared a big multiple course meal for the goodbye party that James insisted on throwing in the evening. According to him he had never before had so much fun with guests than with us and he wanted us to keep him in the best possible memory. Not that it needed a party for that, he had done plenty enough for us already, but James was so excited about the whole thing that no one really felt like telling him that.

Francis was of course in top form, he whirled through the kitchen like a tempest, stirring sauces, decorating pastries or dousing chunks of meat with spices until the whole kitchen smelled like the Spicer's market. Hannah was chopping up vegetables with a sureness and speed that I was sure was supernatural, I couldn't even make out the blade as anything else than a metallic blur. And through all of it Francis kept on flirting with Hannah in a light teasing tone, but Hannah simply brushed him off with an ease that hinted to a long going tradition.

Mathias and I were lucky enough to be allowed to taste a few of the dishes, but Francis had to slap Mathias' hand away more than once to keep him from the mountain of delicious looking cakes and pastries and a few other choice desserts I couldn't name. All in all it was a very nice way to spend the evening.

And just as soon it was time to deck the tables that James had prepared in the main room with the help of Arthur and some of the soldiers to prepare one big u-shaped long table that would fit everyone. I helped Hannah with the table cloths and was then ordered to distract Mathias who had already shattered a few plates in his attempt to carry them while wobbling on one leg.

It was then, while I was sitting on Mathias' lap to prevent him from walking around, (and being groped in the process) that I noticed Berwald talking to Francis. They seemed nervous and Berwald kept glancing around every now and then but whatever it was that he was looking out for it was neither me nor Mathias since he acknowledged us with a nod. Francis seemed thrilled about something and he winked more than once at Berwald causing him to slightly blush.

Mathias was too busy with feeling me up to notice anything that was going on around him and I didn't have the heart to swat his hand away every time. Okay to be honest I was simply too lazy and it was not that I didn't like his touch, on the contrary, I had started to quite like the attention and more importantly the promise of what would come later that came hand in hand with his touches.

I got the feeling that I knew what was going on and I smiled to myself, knowing that in the midst of all the trouble it would be a good thing. The food and the table were mostly finished and the others started to trickle in one after another, looking around the decorated room before they picked a seat to their liking. The moment Tino stepped in Berwald was there to guide him to his seat that was across from where Mathias and I sat, and helped him in his chair. I slid down from Mathias' lap, now that everything was done there was no need to restrain him, but I allowed him to keep an arm around me.

Emil came in a bit after Tino, followed by an eager bouncing Peter who seemed to be in the process of chewing Emil's ear off with his talking. Emil walked over to us and sat next to me, he didn't show it but I could tell that he was exhausted from Peter's constant attention. Thankfully Peter then decided to bother Berwald and Tino but was intercepted by his mother who dragged him into the kitchen.

Arthur came in together with Ludwig and Roderich, Eli was nowhere to be seen. It was an odd picture, Arthur engrossed in conversation with a man that was our enemy only hours ago, but whatever it was they talked about it had both of their eyes shimmer with excitement. Roderich seemed impassive as he walked over to a chair and I suddenly noticed that Jan wasn't with them. Maybe he had finally started to trust them.

Francis burst out of the kitchen, a spoon covered with thick white cream in hand and as he spotted Arthur he almost jumped him, startling him and Ludwig in the process. Arthur's angry protest was cut short by the creamed spoon in Francis' hand and I remembered the conversation I had with Francis about my surprise for Mathias and how he commented on Arthur's love for whipped cream. The sentiment made me smile, that Francis would safe his utensils so that Arthur could lick off the cream. The look of fondness in Francis' eyes was heartwarming as he watched his lover licking at the cream with blissful abandon.

Ludwig had politely excused himself and was now sitting next to Roderich and a moment later Jan entered, talking with Eli in an animated way I would have never suspected him capable of. As if their appearance had been the cue, Francis shoved Arthur on his chair and vanished in the kitchen, to appear only moments later with Hannah and James in tow, carrying a big plate with lots of delicious looking food on it. It took a while but together the three managed to fill the entire table with plates and bowls of food.

The banquet had officially started.

It was the first time in my life that I participated in a banquet and the first half of an hour I was busy with getting to taste as many different dishes as possible. In a way it was really satisfying to have this much of a choice but a small part of me felt bad for I only ever tried a small part of every dish in favor of leaving room for the rest. This was so wasteful, there had been a time in my life when we had been close to starving and now my biggest problem was if I should try roasted chicken (without cinnamon) or steamed venison.

I had seen parts of James' store rooms but I had never suspected that they were filled with so many delicacies. Compared to that the meals we had eaten before were actually meager. But I figured that James saved the good stuff for special occasions like this.

Peter had come in at some point and said goodbye, he had to go to bed early and would most likely still sleep when we departed on the next day. But aside from that short teary interlude the party had been loud and mirthful. James kept a firm hand on the alcohol, not out of spite but because we all would need a sober head tomorrow, riding in the snow was no easy piece of cake. And in all honesty, I was more than glad that I was spared another episode of 'Arthur's dangling dick'. One time as enough, thank you.

Mathias had showered me with affections the whole time, sharing the dishes he found delicious with me and wanting to have a bite of half of my servings. If this was how couple life felt, I had to admit I rather liked it.

But the highlight of the evening came towards the end of the meal, when Berwald suddenly got up and knocked a knife against his glass, casting silence over the whole room. It was maybe the first time that I had seen him nervous. He blinked a few times before he spoke and it took him three tries until he finally managed to produce words, but his voice sounded clear and there was almost no trace of his nervousness when he addressed Tino.

He didn't say much, and as significant as the evening, as that specific moment was, I couldn't remember at all his exact words. But I remembered with almost uncanny clarity the way his eyes were shining behind his glasses, the tiny barely noticeable tears that formed in the corners and the slight tremble of his lips as Tino cried 'Yes' and fell into his arms.

Tino was a mess afterwards, he alternated between sobbing and laughing, or both at the same time and he showed everyone the tiny silver band that now adorned his finger, it was not much, it was all that Berwald could organize on such short notice but for Tino it was everything.

Berwald was beaming, there was actually a wide grin on his usually stoic face and he would glance towards his now fiancé whenever there was a gap between congratulants. Apparently Francis had helped him to set things up; he had gotten both the ring and Tino's measurement by tricking him into dipping his finger into one of his desserts and then measuring the indentation.

Tino took the chance to hire both Emil and I as bridesmaids, but I only accepted after he had promised that I wouldn't have to wear a dress. Mathias decided over Berwald's head that he would be his best man and the other was simply too happy to care about it. But the wedding was still far off and so the planning somehow got off track and when Tino started fantasizing about fluffy troll-like suits, I decided that it was time to go to bed. It was late enough as it was and I wanted to get at least a little sleep before the next day.

A few of the soldiers had pushed back the tables back then and started to play on some instruments James had hidden somewhere in his cellar and Tino was dancing with Berwald and Francis was using the excuse of dancing to feel Arthur who, for a change, didn't care at all.

Mathias would have dragged me to dance too, hadn't he been impaired. But so he readily let me pull him up from his chair and then out the room. I had made the mistake of looking back before we left and the image of Emil dancing with Ludwig was honestly a bit disturbing even though Ludwig seemed as stiff as if someone had shoved a stick up his ass.

On a side note; Eli and Roderich were kissing in the corner. This was getting really tragic if this continued, then straight couples would die out throughout the next two years. You go Hannah and James.

I decided to really call it a night at that, my thoughts were starting to get weird and so I pushed the door closed and walked up the stairs. Mathias hopped up the stairs with his crutches and I was glad that I didn't have to see the probably more than wobbly affair. I only hoped he didn't break his leg while falling down the stairs. Maybe I should warn him about stairs.

We reached our room unscathed however, even without a stair warning so I figured my lover was more competent than I gave him credit for. I flopped down on the bed and contemplated if I should just go to sleep or have some fun beforehand. At the moment my desire for both was equally high and I wondered if I should just combine both and make Mathias do all the work. But that idea was quickly disposed of as Mathias' crutches clattered to the floor.

It was only his ankle, true, but I didn't want to risk anything. It wouldn't be good if he put any weight on his leg and that left only one position. "Mathias, I want to ride you." I said, flat out to my own surprise. I usually wasn't so open about these things, but after I had witnessed Berwald's proposal I felt that I should be more open about what I wanted. And I wanted to do something good for Mathias.

"Naah, we did that already." Mathias sat on the edge if the bed and was looking at me. He was right though, not that we couldn't use that position again after we had used it once but the last time we had sex, I had ridden him and I wanted to do something else now. But we could only have sex when Mathias was lying down in the process, I wouldn't want him to put any strain on his legs.

"Then you'll have to let me top." I said, but I was only half serious, the sleepy part of my mind had taken over and demanded to be heeded so I was slowly drifting into dreamland. I wouldn't expect Mathias wanted to be topped anyway; most clients in the brothel would have been outraged at the proposal.

My tired mind had failed to take into account though that Mathias was not at all like the clients I knew from my time in the brothel.

Shame on me.

"Okay." His answer was so unexpected that I would have probably fallen from the bed if I hadn't lied down already. I pushed myself up on my elbows; thankfully my sleepiness had disappeared due to shock, and looked at Mathias. "What?" I asked, sounding incredibly intelligent. "Yeah, why not. I can't move around much and I always wanted to have a dick shoved up my ass once. I would prefer your dick though."

I slumped back into the cushions and closed my eyes with a slightly tormented expression. Did he have to be so vulgar about it? It made it sound unnecessary dirty. But while I was lying there, Mathias eyes still on me, not expectant just watching, I was thinking that maybe it was worth a try. I had seen the expression on Mathias' face when he entered me, the look of intense pleasure that crossed his features, and the way he grabbed my hips when he thrust into me. A small part of me had always wondered how it felt form him, to be inside of me, to feel the heat and the trembling of my body beneath his hands.

Mathias slid over to me, leaning over me until he hovered only inches away from my face. "I love you Lukas, I would do everything for you. And for one time at least I want to feel you inside of me." He leaned further down to kiss me, his lips lingering on mine for a while and in that moment I realized that I wanted to do this.

I wanted to see the same thing Mathias got to see, his body under me, writhing while I pushed into him, filling him up to the brim and finally spilling my seed deep inside of him. I wanted to make him scream.

"Fine." I said. "But don't come complaining to me afterwards when your butt hurts."

...

A/N: I doubt I have ever put as much allusions in one chapter than this one. And they are in two adjacent passages. (And they are crappy as hell)

Anyway, happy 50th chapter or something!