Just Keep On Keeping On: Steven

Fuck.

She can't be serious. I nervously look around the room hoping that by some miracle she'll jump in through the window and yell that she got me good and all the cameras were taping and I'm going to be on television, but she doesn't and I have to wonder if what's happening is, in all reality, happening. I stumble backwards a bit, feeling dizzy like I haven't eaten and fall back onto her bed. It smells gruesome though so I jump back to my feet and slowly make my way out to the hallway. Steven is there to greet me.

"Where Jade go?" he pouts, eyes big and sad, brimming with tears. He's biting his lip as if to keep from crying and he gently tugs at the material of my jeans. Even if I don't answer him, I'm sure he has a good concept of what's going on anyway; he just wishes his suspicions were wrong. "And why all the screaming?"

I think about my options for a second before I tenderly pat his hair. "I'm not sure, Steven...I'm not sure." I meekly take his small hand in my own and lead him down the stairs, not exactly positive of what to do any more or what was even going on. When we reach the first floor I immediately regret bringing the small boy downstairs.

Jade's mother is sitting at the table, crying, her head resting in her folded arms. I feel like I shouldn't be here, intruding on her moment, but I can't just leave. Not without asking her what to do about Steven. I bend down so that I'm level with Steven and whisper in his ear.

"You should go collect your toys just in case Mommy comes back."

"You mean Jade?" he wonders aloud and I nod my head.

"Yes, Jade." He understands and takes off into another room, but I hear a loud thud and I know something must have fell. But before I can go over there I hear a scrambling or something like a rattling and I assume Steven had grabbed whatever it was that made the sound, so I take the opportunity to go over to Jade's mom and shyly say her name.

"Hm? W-what? Oh no...I'm s-s-sorry...You're s-still here?" she fires off questions, lifting her head up, and I nod my head awkwardly, pursing my lips. She looks so broken, almost a mirror image of Jade. Almost a mirror image of how Beck used to look.

"Yeah, I'm still here," I say quietly and she attempts a smile, but the corners of her lips quaver and I know she's fighting the urge to break down into sobs again.

"I'm sorry Jade had to leave like that...Y-You...You don't have a-any idea of where she might be going, d-d-do you?" she asks with such hope and I almost consider lying and telling her that I do know where Jade went and that she will be coming back, but fibbing has never been my forte and instead I just dolefully shake my head no. She bits her bottom lip hard and I spot little drops of blood forming. We're silent for a couple of seconds before I pull up a chair and sit next to her. She seems to appreciate it because she lays her hand over my own.

"I'm sorry f-f-for her behavior," the woman apologizes.

"No, no. Don't apologize for Jade's idiocy," I fiercely warn her. Jade's mother laughs, but it's short lived and dejected.

"She just doesn't know what she's doing...Do...Do you k-know when she's coming back, perhaps?"

"No...I...We never got a chance to talk about it...But she...She left and wants me to ta-"

"Take Steven. I know. I overheard the...disagreement," she dismally relays. "Listen, Robbie. You tried so hard to make her realize she's wrong and I just...It's...She's...You don't have to take Steven," she admits and then looks towards a large stack of paper sitting on her table. I take the chance to glance around the sorrowful house. It's a disaster with things broken and carpet torn up. It never used to be like this. Something had happened and now Jade's mother must have had no money left, at least from the shabby appearance of the house.

I tensely reach towards the papers and when she doesn't object even though her eyes fill with anguish, I pull the papers closer to me. I flip through them to find it's bill upon bill upon notice upon bill. No wonder there was no heat in this house. She couldn't afford it.

"I'll take Steven," I decide in a spur of the moment decision, hardly considering Steven's or Jade's feelings and just taken by pity for this old woman who, by the looks of it, has tried so hard to support her family. And I don't know why I do it, but I do, because maybe this fractured family kind of reminds me of Beck and I feel like I could change this little boy's fate. I could save him like I wasn't able to save Beck. Or maybe I'm just crazy.

"Robbie, really you don't hav-"

"I know, but I want to." She takes a long, lingering look at me before squeezing my hand tearfully.

"God bless you Robbie Shapiro...God bless you." I smile at her, a smile without any joy but a smile nonetheless. Then I withdraw my hand from under hers and take out my wallet which was residing in my back pocket. I open it up and take out all of the money I had in it and place it in front of her. She gasps, her hand flying to her mouth, but I quickly speak before she has the chance to shove the money back at me.

"Take it. It's not much, but hopefully it will help."

"Robbie, I really don't need it...I-"

"It's fine. Just take it as my apology for making Jade so angry that she just got up and left without Steven," I justify and she looks like she's about to argue but I put my hand on my arm and nod toward the money. "Please, just take it." And she does. Then I get up and head upstairs to find Steven sitting on the bed, the worn knapsack resting beside him.

"Are you all packed?" I say with forced cheeriness.

"Yep! Does that mean Jade back?" he responds wistfully which sends a stab of pain into my heart. However, I keep up with my 'happy act' and grin at him.

"No, but we're going to go on a trip," I promise him and he seems enticed by my offer even though I have only known him for about half an hour. He wiggles off the bed and drags his bag with him, but when he's halfway across the room he pauses and stares at me.

"Jade said never go no where with strangers," he cautiously states.

"I've known your mother, er, Jade, for a long time. Her and I went to school together," I offer as if that's as good as a reason to trust me as any. He eyes me for a while and then says something under his breath before speaking up.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Then what Jade last name? And not her fake one she use," he spits, thinking himself oh so clever. And for a second, it brings a twinkling to my eye because he reminded me so much of the old Jade.

"West...She has a fake name?"

"Yeah. She don't want some bad people to know her real last name so she goes by fake one. Hinderliter," he says with disgust, wrinkling up his nose. "Jade and Steven Hinderliter. I much more like Steven and Jade West," he tells me and I can't help but let a small grin light up my face, although his words ring in my head long after he says them. So there's some bad people after Jade, is there?

"I like Steven and Jade West too," I agree. "Now let's get going or do I still have to prove to you I'm no stranger?" I question with an undertone of grievance. He thinks for a moment and then shakes his head.

"No. You good." Then he leads the way out of the room and goes downstairs like he completely forgot about Jade leaving and I follow him, wondering if he was being strong or if he just didn't understand what was going on. I open the door for him and he barrels out and hops down the steps.

"Bye Ms. West," I call over my shoulder and then pause, debating whether or not to say anything else. She gives me a saddened smile and a wave and I decide to just leave, pulling the door close on my way out before pointing to my broken down car. "That one!" I call to Steven and he eagerly races to it and hops in the back. I follow him and get in the front seat and then turn the car on. I snatch my phone up from the passenger side and open a draft and type in Ms. West's address. I plan on sending her a check to help pay for heating. After I finish I toss my phone back over to where it was.

"Okay, are you ready bud?" I lean back and see him buckled up.

"Yep!" He flashes me two thumbs up with a broad grin. I can't help but find him adorable and wonder how Jade can distance herself from such a sweet kid.

"Wait, you're supposed to have a car seat, aren't you?" I remember. Kids under age ten or under eighty pounds or something like that aren't allowed to sit in the car without a car seat. Or did that only apply to sitting in the front? I wasn't sure. In fact, maybe he was to old for a car seat. I curse my foggy memory.

"What a...car seat?" he asks, baffled.

"You've never been in a car seat?"

"Nope! What that?"

"Uh...Never mind," I dismiss it. Of course, leave it up to Jade to go to all lengths to protect her child and follow the law. This is just the sort of thing she would do. I begin to get riled up and can't help but think if this is what happened to Beck when he was dating her.

"So where we goin'?" he changes the topic.

"Uh, I'm not sure," I shrug, tapping a small beat out with my fingers against my leg nervously.

"Oh...When Jade comin' back?" he jumps topics again, ever the short attention span of a child.

"What do you mean?" I ask, hoping to buy time to think of an appropriate answer. What am I supposed to tell the kid? Never? Your mother is never coming back?

"Jade always come back. Always smells bad, but always come back. This time no different, yeah?" he pesters and I let out a big sigh. I still was not sure how to respond to his question. I didn't want to give him false hope, but at the same time I didn't want to disappoint him. Ha, I'm so sensitive sometimes it's almost unbearable. No wonder Rex made fun of me for all those years.

"What are you saying Jade always smells bad?" I press, even though I'm well aware of the reason why. One look at her gaunt figure and I knew. I wasn't as oblivious as I was in high school anymore, and apparently neither was Jade.

"Peoples tell me it's drugs. Alco...Aloca...Beer," Steven replies sourly, sticking out his tongue and scrunching up his nose while crossing his tiny arms over his chest. He kicks his feet out and hits the back of my chair a few times, although when he sees me wince when his foot makes contact with the seat particularly hard, he immediately stops and looks at me with an apologetic face like he did something very, very wrong.

"Does she do it very often?"

"Sometimes she do it, sometimes she don't do it."

"Oh."

A silence is cast over the car and I turn away and hit the gas. I decide to go back up to my college because by the time I got back, it would be late. I could find Jade another day. At least hopefully, seeing as though she goes by a fake last name now. Hinderliter. Jade Hinderliter. I have to agree with Steven; it sounds ugly.

My thoughts are interrupted by a little voice coming from the back seat. I'm barely able to make out what Steven is saying.

"She scares me when she's like that...she's scares me a lot," he mutters darkly.

Yeah? She scares me too.

.

In a couple of hours, we're back at the college campus and Steven is sleeping soundly in the back, his head resting against my jacket that I balled up for him and allowed him to use as a pillow. He looks cute, I grin to myself as I put the car in park and cast a look over at him. I reach a hand out to shake him awake, but he looks content and I don't want to wake him up and have to explain just yet that we're hours away from his mother and most likely he won't see her for a while. The longer he doesn't know the better.

I swing the door open and step out, taking a moment to stretch in the darkness. It's night now and a little past midnight. I shiver as a chilling wind blows past and I know I need to hurry up. I throw open the door and unbuckle Steven carefully, trying hard not to wake him up, then pick him up bridal style because I'm not exactly sure how to carry a kid, let alone a sleeping one (no one would ever previously let me near one). I track to my apartment and then fumble around until I'm able to open it with one hand while still supporting the weight of Steven who was growing increasingly heavier.

Finally I'm able to get in and I make my way towards my bed in complete darkness based on memory and memory only. I place Steven down gently on my bed and take the blanket I keep at the foot of it and drape it over him. He's still sleeping soundly; I suppose he got that from his mother.

I look over at the other bed which was only a few feet from mine. My roommate sleeps there. Or, at least, if he's ever here. I haven't seen him around lately which doesn't surprise me. I'm not sure why he never came back, he just never did, which was fine with me. Still, it was odd and I found myself wishing when I was bored that I knew more about him. Sadly, I only knew his name. Ethan.

I decided to climb into his bed, without changing into my pajamas, trying to ignore the weird sensation that was crawling up my spine from the realization that anything could have happened in this bed. Someone could have been killed in here and I might very well be dozing off in their blood. I close my eyes tightly, trying to think about happy rainbows and pretty unicorns, or at least anything but the events that might have taken place in this very bed. But my mind is soon taken by different thoughts. Like Steven.

What am I supposed to do with a child? Jade's child? I wasn't a father and I certainly wasn't his. But I couldn't just let him stay at Jade's mother house...could I? Because now I'm left with a toddler, in college, with almost no way to deal with him.

My troubles soon dissipate as I find myself growing sleepier and sleepier...

Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry for the (very) late update. There was/is some major things going on...But anyway, here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoyed!