Chapter 10
Interviewing Soto
"Hello everyone! Welcome back! Beside me now is someone who also made the first ice age movie amazing... though most may not like him... Soto the saber everyone!" I announce, gesturing at another blank, dark cage. Everyone booed as a small growl echoed through the cage. I gulped nervously, knowing that in there was a homicidal manic, probably ready to kill me in there now... But I restrained myself and forced a smile on as I looked into the cage, seeing a pair of dark, evil eyes staring back.
"Okay Soto," I began slowly. "I have questions from your fans and all you gotta do is-"
"My haters you mean," I heard him mutter.
Silence fell upon us all. I felt a shiver down my spine.
"And I'm going to read them out and you answer them if you want, and just say pass if they are too personal." I continue.
"Yeah, sure." He said in a 'I am not going to bother trying' kind over voice. I nod quickly as I got a move on with the questions.
"TeamPeaches asked you the first eight questions." I began. " Question 1. Weren't you dead?"
"Well what an interesting question." Commented Soto, coming towards me only to be stopped by the bars in front of him. "That's what I thought as well! But I was given a second chance to live."
"Something that you didn't deserve," I mutter.
"What was that lass?"
I froze. God he heard me!
"W-what?" I stammer.
Soto gave me a cold, evil smile as he chuckled out a 'forget it and just continue.'
"Okay question 2 is," I say without needing to be asked twice. "Have you ever dated before? Or are you dating right now?"
"No I am not dating now," He started. "But I have dated some ladies in the past."
"Never worked out I suppose?" I ask.
"Nah." He replied.
"Who woulda thought?" I say aloud.
I suddenly heart a growl again coming from the cage, and it made me jump back and reach for a bottle of chloroform, tissue and a pair of pliers. Soto hopped back when everyone started laughing.
"Holy mother of my mother and all the saints! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE THERE?" He shouted.
"Chloroform and pliers! Both very lethal! Don't go anywhere near me! I ain't afraid to use them!" I threatened. I jumped up and pretended I was in the middle of a fencing match, jabbing the open space in front of me with the pliers, then jumping back again.
"Woah-ho! You dare bite your thumb at me sir? Put up your derks and fight like a man! Up! UP I say!" I shout. Soto's eyes went as big as dinner plates.
"Where in the world did you get them!?" He said.
"DontheHero. Who is in the audience with us in case if anything bad happens."
Everyone cheered as DonTheHero (whom I'm assuming is a boy?) waved at the camera with a big smile on his face, before turning serious when he looked at Soto... who actually cowered away into the corner away from the cage.
"I got my eye on you Kitty." He said. Soto remained in the far corner of the cage as I sat back down, the pliers still at hand. Maybe I was over reacting a little too much, but you could never be too careful with someone like Soto sitting near you.
"Jeez... I gotta hire DonTheHero to be one of my security officers!" I declare. "Okay question 3. Do you think that Shira is hot?"
I heard Soto making vomit and heaving noises, causing everyone to boo at him.
"...That explains you answer plenty... okay question 4. Are you jealous of Diego? If so, WHY?"
"Why would someone like me be jealous of someone like Diego?"
"Well first off," I began, ticking everything Diego had that Soto didn't with my fingers. "He had a pretty mate, 3 hilarious sons who are only 2 year's old now, a beautiful daughter who could easily knock you over by just looking at you, friends...and he has... oh that's what I was forgetting! He has a life."
"Ooh! Put some ice on that burn!" Said someone in the audience.
"You just got served with mash potatoes and gravy!" DonTheHero yelled from the audience. I stopped being so serious for a second and started laughing at the remarks. Soto himself could help letting out a chuckle.
"Question 5.Why are you such a jerk?" I said after laughing for ten minutes.
"'Cos I was born this way!" Said Soto. I smirked and start singing that part of Lady Gaga's Song; 'born this way':
"He's beautiful in his way,
'Cause God makes no mistakes
He's on the wrong track, baby
He was born this way!
Don't hide yourself in regret
Just love yourself and you're set
He's on the wrong track, baby
He was born this way, born this way!"
I bowed with an embarrassed giggle to follow as everyone clapped.
"Okay question 6. If you could kill just one character, what would it be?"
Soto rolled his eyes towards me.
"Do you really need to answer that?" I say.
"Well kind of." He said. He smirked. "Do you happen to count by any chance?"
"HELL NO!" I shout. "Do I LOOK like an Ice age character to you?"
"OK! It would have to be..."
I sigh as I add: "Jade and the triplet's don't count either."
Soto sighed. "But their Diego's kids aren't they?"
"Well, yes. But they aren't in the movies are they?"
I heard him sigh again.
"Maybe I'll just keep the answer for this question to myself."
I narrowed my eyes, but left it at that.
"Question 7.Do you know that you are one of the most hatred characters of the movies?" I say.
Soto shrugged.
"Who wouldn't? I'm a *beep* and I know it."
Everyone cheered at this, and i frowned at them for it.
"Quickly moving on," I urged. " Question 8 is; If you could have one wish, what would it be?"
Soto smirked evilly.
"That I killed Diego when i had the chance!" He declared, only to be booed at all over again. I shook my head at him piteously.
"Soto, Soto, Soto... will you ever learn from your mistakes?" I say as if to be ashamed of him. Soto just frowned as he moved back and forth, pestering me to continue.
"Cat girl asked 'When the deceased half saber pack was still alive were you the leader of it?" I say. Soto shook his head.
"Diego's father was, until he was forced into retirement."
"By you?"
"No! He was forced out of it because of his age. And at that time, Diego was too short minded to be leader, so I volunteered to take the job."
I nod, saying 'okay' as if that was an everyday fact.
"AJB asked you; 1) did you ever consider Diego as a brother or a double agent?"
Soto frowned at this.
"I always considered him as just second in line... and as I thought he had Roshan in his grasp... I thought him... as a son..."
I gave a silent gasp along with the audience. I saw the sadness and betrayal within the Sabers eyes... and almost took his side... but I made myself come to the terms that he was a villian... and they never change...
"Okay question 2) did you ever killed any humans before?" I continue.
The saber just shook his head as he said, "I wanted to make peace with the humans by trying to protect them from other enemies that they may have."
"Sure..." I say uncertainly. "Okay question 3) did it occur to you that Diego cared about Roshan than following orders from you and the rest of the pack?"
Soto's eyes went big and he held his head up with his paws, as if to be shocked.
"How could I not have known that? O I am fortune's fool!"
"Are you a Shakespeare fan Soto?" I asked.
"Not as a rule. Why do you ask such a question?"
"Well from I can remember from studying Shakespeare myself, the last part of the sentence is one of Romeo's quotes."
Soto rolls his eyes.
"Well," he mimicked. "A Smarty pants and annoying in one package! Wonders will never cease."
I glare at him.
"Question 4) Have you seen Roshan at all since the first Ice Age movie?"
Soto nodded.
"Mhm. Yes i have. He has grown into the leader of his tribe."
I smile simply. "Better watch out Sottie! He could be revengeful!"
Soto's eyes began to roll like marbles.
"Thanks for the survival tip David Attenborough." He said sarcastically.
I continued to smile, though in my mind I was killing him 3 times over... for some reason... with a pillow.
"Well DonTheHero has some questions to ask, and reminder he is in the audience now, so make sure not to make him angry. And so; 1. Are there any other reasons why you chose Diego to be your second in command other than he was the only one you trusted?"
Soto shook his head.
"Not really no."
"Okay question 2. How did you know that Jade was Diego and Shira's daughter?"
Soto just smirked.
"Ah, but that will be telling won't it?" He teased. I click my fingers before muttering 'darn!' which made him chuckle.
"Okay question 3. Can I have one of your sabres?"
"Why?" Asked Soto.
"Hold on he added; If asked why tell him it is to make a dagger if he should try to attack the herd again, particularly the sabre family."
Soto nodded.
"Thought so." He added.
I look at DonTheHero and nodded at him, and all eyes watched him stand up.
"Now my threat," he announced. He glared at Soto. "If you step out of line I'll fire you from one of the possums slingshots and let Precious use you as a toy. Got it?"
Soto raised an eyebrow, even though we could all tell he was scared, when his front left paw shook slightly.
"Whatever." He said. I shook my head at Soto.
"He'll have your guts for garters you know that? Wouldn't wanna mess with him." I warn.
"See if I care." Soto spat. "Just get a move on, I have a terrible feeling these 'Fans' have loads more questions in store."
"Okay, iceage ninja asked Soto, how do ya feel that my sister says that you are her father?"
Soto looked really surprised.
"Well um... flattered I guess?" He said awkwardly.
"Okay moving on, TimberPaw asked; 1.Do you have children or have you had a mate we don't know?"
Soto shook his head.
"No."
I shrug my shoulders.
"Okay, and question 2 is; Was Diego always your second in command, even before the humans killed half of your pack?"
"Only when the humans killed half of my pack and made them winter clothes."
"Okay, just don't get into detail, I'm pretty sure we all got a perfect image on how something like that would come up." I say with a shiver. "dodgerxrita asked; Would you have killed Savannah/Jade if the herd hadn't of stopped you?"
Soto thought for a long time on this one, but shrugging.
"Depends," he answers. "I would've told her about her past, and tell her like I've said before and asked her to join my side, and if she refused... I'd say I would've killed her."
A whole wave of boo's came from the audience, and I think I saw one or two people in the audience with mallet's in hand...
"And at the end this viewer said 'Oh and this isn't a question... Soto, STOP BEING A REVENGE DESPERATE, SORE LOSER AND GO SOMEWHERE ELSE, FIND A MATE AND GET A LIFE. BE AS HAPPY AS DIEGO IS!'"
Soto yawn, which made me tempted to to reach out and give him a slap across the head. But instead, I just tutted.
"Height of rudeness!" I say as if to be ashamed. "LionLover23 asked Did you ever find Diego to be your son? But you already answered that from eariler. So Shiego627 is next! And she asked 1. What was your reaction when you saw Shira?"
"Really back with Shira! Enough of this! Even this persons name reminds me of the two!"
I raise a finger.
"That's... what the name is supposed to remind you of..." I pointed out. "But we'll just move on to push any... awkward moments... aside... question 2 is Did Diego ever date someone in the pack?"
"Nope. He refused to. He believed in true love and a 'once in a lifetime oppurtunities'. Whenever you went up to him and said something like 'got your eye on anyone lately?' His answer would always be no."
I shrug.
"I guess some people are like that." I answer.
"I agree with you on that one." Soto said as he nodded approvingly.
"Question 3. What was your reaction when you found out Shira was Diego's mate? Even though you told us they were set to wed at the age of 16 and what not."
"It surprized me a little yes i have to admit, but i kndw they'd meet up somehow."
"Okay question 4. Is Lenny fat or is it just a muscle?"
Soto just gave me a risen eyebrow. And I knew what that meant.
" Yep... fat it is... and question 5. Is Zeke always hyper?"
Soto nodded.
"Yes. He is."
"Thought so. Shira12345GetSmart86 asked: How come you hate everyone?"
"Because I hold grudges against everyone... but i for sone odd reason... I don't hate you."
There was the sound of gasping as my eyes widened.
"W-why?" I question. "You always have a reason to hate someone."
"I know that. The most ommen reason is because they live with Diego or are a member of his family. You are not in any way at all."
I gulp as I mumble a 'thank you'... while blushing an interesting scarlett colour.
"SirCreepington9th asked; How can you live with yourself after A) you almost killed Diego, Sid, and Manny and B) after you kidnapped Jade?
"Who said a villian can't fantisize in different ways? I'm just that way. Once a villian, always a villian."
"Who said that is relevent at all to the question? And no it's not always the case. Look at Shira for example. And ourfinal 2 questions are from Frostpinkloverfr; 1. Are you discombobulated* about when jades hair turned white or were you expecting it?"
"What the hell does this person mean by discombobulated?" Asked Soto, struggling to say the word.
"Which follows onto the final question," I say with a chuckle, "2. Are you discombobulated about the word discombobulated?"
"Wat does it mean?"
"It means to be confused."
Soto sat there in silence.
"Oh now i get it. To answer your question no i wasn't expecting her hair to go white at all."
"Well that wraps up Soto's interview folks!" I declare. Everyone cheered as I said goodbye to Soto while he was wheeled off stage.
"Finally i can relax!" I declared. I smile at the camera. "Don't go anywhere folks! The whole pirate team is up next!"
And there you have it y'all!
Soto is done and the pirate team is up next!
Stay tuned and send in questions for Raz, Flynn, Squint, Silas, and the rest!
See you xxx