Just Keep On Keeping On: An Ironic, Cruel Joke

"Robbie, I-"

"Shh!" I warn her, holding my finger to my lips in an attempt to get her to shut up. "Hey Steven, I'll be right back, okay? I have to talk to, uh, my friend Liz for a second," I lie before shoving Jade out of the apartment, me trailing after her. I close the door behind me and give Jade a well deserved glare.

She returns it.

"What? I didn't want Steven to get worked up. He doesn't need to know you're here yet. You'll only upset him," I hiss coldly and she crosses her arms over her chest, taking up the classic Jade stance.

"I want my kid back," she demands evenly. She taps her fingers against her porcelain skin but I stare defiantly at her.

"You can't just abandon your kid with me and then come back, all of the sudden wanting him to return. It doesn't work like that. Nu-uh Jade," I whisper threateningly, not wanting to raise my voice incase Steven overheard. The walls of the apartment were thin. Some loud things you could hear through it.

"Yes it does," she snarls. "This is my kid, not yours. You didn't birth him and you sure as hell didn't adopt him. I don't see any papers anywhere." She's right, I know she is, but I can't help but feel anger surge inside of me. She can't just claim Steven like he was some object. He was a person; a child no less. Even if I was looking to give Steven back to her, she couldn't just barge in like this. Unexpected and unannounced. It just wasn't right. It wasn't orderly.

"Maybe you're right-"

"I am."

"But I'm not letting you have him until you get your act together. You look even worse than before and that's saying something," I tell her off because it's true. Her outfit doesn't match and her hair looks like a messy rat nest. Her figure is gaunt and she seems even skinnier than when I last saw her. In fact, she was so skinny her cheekbones were more defined than Tori's.

"But you are and you will," she counters.

"No!" I shoot back.

"How about we let him decide," she barks, but I spread my arms across the door.

"No way are you getting in my apartment and making him feel like crap. You can't hurt this kid any longer Jade. You may be his biological mother, but you sure as hell aren't a real mother. If you were-" At this point she shoves me to the side, fed up with my speech, and lets herself in the apartment. "Jade no!" I holler at her, but she ignores me.

"Steven?" she calls. "Oh, Steven? It's Jade honey." I cross my fingers and hope that Steven is hiding someplace, but everything is crushed when the toddler runs out to greet his mother.

"Jade!" He goes to wrap her in a big hug, but stops himself when he remembers Jade hates contact. Jade leans down and puts her hands on his shoulders. He suddenly looks uncomfortable and his tanned face begins to pale.

"That's right baby, it's me, come to take you back from mean old Robbie...He took you without my permission and we're going to report him to the police," she coos to me and I can do nothing but stand in the background, horrified at what she's saying and what's happening.

Steven shakes his head a little bit fearfully.

"Hm? What's wrong?" This time her voice is a lot less kind.

"I like Robbie...He good," Steven admits shyly, looking down at the ground. I can't see Jade's face from where I'm standing, but I imagine it must be a scary one because Steven visibly flinches.

"You know how I feel about incorrect grammar," Jade says tensely. "And Robbie stole you away from me. He's not a good man."

"I never did-"

"Oh shut up Shapiro. Now come on Steven. Let's go home." She makes a move to get up and leave, but Steven stands where he is. He's scared to go with Jade. "Steven, dear, I said let's go," Jade repeats more harshly. Steven continues to object, standing in puerile defiance of his mother.

I decide to interject now and quickly place myself in between them. "You can't make him do what he doesn't want to do," I remind Jade who sends me a sharp look.

"He'll do what I want him to do. I'm his mother. You have no relation to him," she fiercely defends herself.

I hold eye contact with her, staring off at each other for a minute or so before I whirl the other way and bend down so that I'm level with Steven. "Steven, what do you want to do?" I question him and when I hear Jade try to say something I silence her by telling her to shut the fuck up.

"I...I...I want to..."

"Come with mommy Steven! We'll go get some ice cream afterwards, how does that sound?" Jade bribes, giving him permission to break one of her rules, her sickeningly sweet voice back, only even more sugarcoated topped with whipped cream. It was creepy hearing Jade talk this way. It was unnatural.

"I want to stay with daddy!" he suddenly shouts and I'm a bit surprised that he called me his dad because we've never said those terms of endearment to each other after that one night. But here he is, calling me his dad. I feel a bit of pride swell up in me because I know this decision must have been hard for him to make because he was only a child for goodness sakes.

"You...What? He's not your daddy!" Jade's attitude is back and more fiery than ever.

"Just get out Jade. You heard the kid. He doesn't want you. And neither do I. In fact, no one fucking wants you so get the hell out of my house," I assert and she finally complies, although not without an 'I'll get you' look.

As she swings the door open, she pauses at the threshold to warn me. "I'm going to call the police Shapiro. You better be ready for a shit load of legal crap thrown your way." Then she leaves apparently to 'call the police' even though she and I both know that she won't. She can't. They'll chew her out for her use of drugs and probably a crap ton of other illegal stuff. For now, Steven and I are safe.

I turn around to give him a small smile, but he's not there and I hear a barely audible sob coming from the bedroom. Oh great. I tentatively stride towards the bedroom and lean in the doorway, eyes transfixed on the brown haired boy crying into his stuffed wolf, or Benjamin, as he likes to call it.

"Steven...Hey buddy...What's wrong?" It was a stupid question, but I couldn't think of what else to say. I was never very smooth with words.

"I w-w-want Mommy," he cries and I can't help but be confused at his statement. After all, he had just chosen me over that wicked witch. I go over to him and sit down on the other side of the bed.

"I thought you wanted to stay here..."

"I-I do...B-But I just w-want Mommy," he sobs louder when he says Mommy. Funny thing he's not calling Jade by her name right now. Still, it's understandable. Growing up with an awful mother and then suddenly getting ripped away from her, only to have her come back and pour salt on the wounds is tough, especially for a little kid who can't quite comprehend everything.

"It'll be okay Steven...You'll have me," I grin at him, voice shaking with unease. I wasn't sure how to make him feel better because I didn't know if he would be okay. I didn't know what would happen in the future. Maybe Jade would sober up and then press charges against me and there would be a huge fight. Maybe Jade would try to steal him back. Maybe I can't be an adequate enough guardian and he never truly forgets Jade.

He sniffles and the room goes quiet for a minute or so. I stare at him, he stares at the wolf. Finally, he speaks. "She not all bad." This seems to be something he constantly reminds me of. Whenever we talk about his mother, that comment always come up. Every time.

"Yeah?" I respond the usual way and except him to say 'yeah' and for this to be dropped. But he surprises me and tells me a story.

"You know she always tuck me in bed when she home...Sometimes she even tell stories...She take me to get dinner and to go shoppin'. She says to me, 'I always do my best for you always. I love you Stevie' and then she'll go, 'You so handsome Stevie, just like Beck Oliber. You so special. Remember dat.' She give me hugs and kisses and let me sleep with her when there thunder storms...She not all bad...Not all the time..." he recounts, playing with his wolf, his sniffling dying down. I can't help but recall all the good memories with Jade and all the things she did right. He was right. She wasn't all bad. Not all the time.

I start to doubt whether keeping him was quite the right decision. After all, I didn't have actual proof that Jade did a lot of drugs, if any at all. Sure she had looked awful and smelled horrific, but maybe it was something else...Maybe she was just going through a hard patch in her life.

I examine Steven. When I first brought him here he didn't seem hurt or that emotionally traumatized...

"Do you...Do you want to go back with her?" I ask, a big knot forming in my throat. I didn't want him to leave. Not now. Not after everything he and I had been through. Even though I had spent all that time searching for Jade, now that the time presented itself that I actually had the opportunity to give Steven back, I fled. And I have no idea why.

Stupid, fucked up, annoying emotions.

"I...I dunno Robbie...I dunno..."

"Because you can leave if you want...I...I'm not going to be mad." He seems to contemplate my offer before shaking his head and burying it in his furry wolf. He doesn't answer. Just stays in that position. I let out a sigh and get up, pat him on his head affectionately, and then leave. What am I supposed to do?

I find it ironic that a few months ago I was actually searching for Jade, hoping that she'd randomly show up the next day and take Steven back.

Hmph.

And then there was Steven, who had wanted her to come back so badly, who was missing her so much, but denied going back with her when the moment finally came...what was happening to me? I was supposed to want to get rid of Jade's child.

What an ironic, cruel joke, world.

Author's Note: Poor conflicted, confused Robbie. And short chapter is short. Next chapter has Cat in it though. Not that it has anything to do with the short chapter...but you know. Or not.

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