A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter - you really responded to it, and I appreciate that very much. Thank you also to Rosalie and BK2U, who both reviewed this chapter for me at different points in time!
This chapter starts right after the end of the previous one, so if you don't remember that one, I'd suggest re-reading it before this one.
Chapter 31: Tobias – Connections
"It's not your fault, you know," Tris says softly, her hand on my shoulder. I didn't notice her standing up, or disconnecting herself from the equipment, or stepping over to me, but her touch eases the panic that seems to be lodged in my chest.
Instinctively, I pull her into the reclining chair with me, pressing my face into the curve of her neck as our arms wrap tightly around each other. I'm still connected to all the wires, so I'm sure we're a tangled mess this way, but I don't care. I need this contact with her, and she seems to need it just as much.
"I should have been there," I murmur against her skin. It's all I can get out.
But Tris shakes her head firmly. "I'm very glad that you weren't."
The words startle me, and I pull away enough to meet her gaze. Her expression is stern as she continues. "If you had been there, too, they would have killed Caleb, the way they did with Nigel." She gives a bitter laugh. "Since they didn't need all three of us…. And then they would have tortured me to force you to cooperate."
The statement flashes through my mind as a series of nightmarish images, horrifyingly clear, and I know that she's right. After all, I'm the one who had the proven track record. They didn't know what Tris was capable of, so she was able to get away with an ineffective broadcast, but I couldn't have. Not when they'd already seen that I could sway the entire country.
And after what happened in Erudite, we both know that I would have done anything to stop Tris from being tortured. It took mere minutes for me to reveal the locations of the factionless safe houses after Jeanine gave her that fear serum. An involuntary shudder goes through me at the memory.
Tris' voice is low as she continues. "And if you sent a message at full strength, no one could have resisted it, except maybe Peter. So, it would have taken much longer for anyone to help us, if they ever succeeded at all."
And again, I know that she's right. But that still doesn't make it any easier to accept. It will always seem wrong that Tris was safer without me there. That she had to face so much alone that day….
My arms tighten around her, pulling her even closer in a belated attempt to protect her from everything she's already gone through. She presses her face into my neck this time, her lips moving against my skin as she whispers, "Besides, you got me through it anyway."
I can feel her mouth curving into a faint smile, and for a moment, I assume she's talking about Micky. But then I remember that she doesn't know I retrieved the ring, so she doesn't know that I have any connection to Micky.
No, she's talking about what she showed me. How she was thinking about me, and drawing strength from that thought, and modeling her actions after me. I helped her the same way she's helped me so many times, even when she wasn't there.
But it wasn't enough. If Micky hadn't been there to hear her hidden message…I don't even want to think about what would have happened.
Abruptly, I understand Anna's comment at our lunch months ago. This is why she didn't tell Tris about the ring. When she said that other events complicated things, this is what she meant.
And I know exactly how she must have felt, because I have no idea how to explain this connection, either. I'm not even sure if I should. In some ways, it feels like trying to excuse my absence, or trying to take credit for Micky's actions….
My hands rub up and down Tris' back as I search for words. But all that finally comes out is a soft, "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm so sorry."
"Don't be," she whispers back. Her voice is thick as she adds, "Be proud of me instead. I like that better than pity."
The comment tugs at something deep inside me, and I pull back enough to stare at her. In that moment, I'm filled with awe, as I so often am at her strength.
"I am incredibly proud of you," I tell her sternly. My hands cup her cheeks. "I hate that you had to go through that alone, but you're the only one who could have done it." I shake my head, at a loss on how to express what I'm thinking. And then a smile ghosts over my lips as I remember her original three aptitudes.
"Only someone who is Dauntless and Abnegation and Erudite all in one could have done that, Tris. They could have defeated anyone else, but they never had a chance against you."
For another moment, we just stare at each other, as I watch the fierce energy fill her eyes. It draws me to her like nothing else ever can, and I can't help leaning forward those extra few inches to bring my mouth to hers.
The kiss is one of the best we've ever had. And given what happens after it, I know I'll never look at this room the same way again.
Anna is in a meeting when I arrive at her building. That's not surprising, since it's the middle of the workday, but this is the best time to come here without Tris wondering where I am.
So, I find myself pacing back and forth in Anna's office, trying to burn off nervous energy as I wait for her. It's been a year since I last saw the ring that I'm here to retrieve, I realize on my tenth pass across the room. I'm more than ready to change that. I just hope that Tris is ready, too.
At least the office is a good size for pacing – large enough for me to fit four long strides in each direction before I have to turn. And like the art gallery downstairs, there are paintings on the walls, so I pause to examine those as I reach each turning point.
There are photos on the desk, too, and I find myself gazing at them as my pacing extends to other parts of the room. Unsurprisingly, Tris and Caleb are featured heavily in them – along with me at times – but there are also images of Tris' mother, Natalie, from when she was young. My eyes stop for a moment on a family portrait of a much-younger Anna and Natalie with a man and a boy I don't recognize. They must be Anna's late husband and son. She had a cute family.
I can't say that I ever expected to have a family like that, or even to have what I do now with Tris. There are so many ways this could have never happened, or could have crashed and burned a long time ago. Either of us could have died on a dozen different occasions, and we certainly could have stayed apart after I left.
But somehow, we made it through all of that and grew stronger and closer together over time. The scared, unloved boy that's still buried somewhere inside me can't help but grin at the thought.
"Tobias," Anna says as she enters the room, looking pleasantly surprised to see me. "I wasn't expecting you today."
She pauses to give me a quick hug – her usual greeting toward her family – before settling into her desk chair.
"Are you here on business?" Something about her expression makes me think she already knows the answer, so I just shake my head, letting my lips turn up at the corners.
"Ah." A smile shapes her own mouth. "It's that time, then, I take it?"
The grin spreads across my face. "If she'll have me, yes."
Anna gives a light laugh. "Oh, I think we both know the answer to that is yes." Her certainty makes something lift inside my chest.
"Please, sit down," she adds as she gestures to the guest chairs that surround her desk. I nod, taking the one that's directly opposite where she's sitting. As I do that, she opens a drawer and pulls out a small ring box. My heart starts pounding harder at the sight of it.
But she doesn't hand it to me. Instead, she sits back in her seat, her expression serious now. "There's something you should know, before you give this to Tris." She purses her lips thoughtfully. "You see, this ring saved her life. And Caleb's, too."
She pauses, trying to pick her words, but I go there before she can. We might as well cut to the chase here.
"I know about Greensburg." Her eyes shoot up to mine, startled. "And about what Micky did there."
For a second, she just stares, but then one side of her mouth tugs upwards. "Well, I'm glad to see that you and Tris talk. So many people don't, you know."
I'm not sure how to answer that, but Anna just chuckles, and I realize that I don't need to respond. Instead, I let her continue on her own.
"I will be forever grateful to you for that, Tobias." Her gaze is unwavering. "If you hadn't gone to such lengths to find this ring, both of my grandchildren would be dead. I don't take that lightly."
My mouth flattens as I shake my head a little, automatically. I can't take credit for what Micky did. But Anna continues despite my gesture.
"And personally, I find it very fitting that you helped Tris even without being there, or realizing it. Simply because you loved her enough to give her such an incredible gift. That tells me how much you two belong together. And that this ring is truly yours." Her lips lift a little. "It already connects you both."
She extends the box toward me, and I take it carefully, feeling my heart thump hard as I touch it.
My fingers shake just a little as I open the lid, letting my gaze fall on the ring that I haven't seen for so long now. I'm startled by the sheer force of the emotions that go through me. I've known for a long time that I want to place this ring on Tris' finger, but actually seeing it again makes it all real. And in this moment, I have never wanted anything more.
But slowly, my eyes move to the second ring in the box, and my eyebrows furrow in confusion.
Anna apparently notices, because she says quietly, "That one belonged to my husband." Her voice is tighter now. "I didn't have it with me when you left on your mission, so you never had to sell it or retrieve it." She clears her throat. "Anyway, I originally planned to give it to Caleb, but…I've come to realize that the pair should stay together. And I know that Douglas would have wanted you to have it."
She smiles, a little sadly, as she looks at me. "He would have liked you."
I can't help but be touched by this gift.
"Are you sure you want to part with it?" I ask quietly.
She nods, her expression serious and determined, and I do, too. Cautiously, as if they're fragile, I pull both rings out, laying them on my palm so I can look at them more closely.
They're not a matched set. The man's ring is mostly black gold, with a band of yellow gold running around the center – the same tone as the woman's ring. They look good together – very good – but they're definitely not a set.
Anna must see the confusion on my face, because she answers my unspoken question. "Douglas and I were both strong individuals with our own styles. We weren't the same person, and it felt wrong to get a set that made it seem like we were. But we complemented each other, and we were better together than apart." A small smile lifts her mouth. "Our rings reflect that."
For a second, I just stare at her, and then back at the pair of rings on my palm. Slowly, a smile forms on my own face as I realize just how perfect this set is. I would never want Tris to change who she is to be more like me, and I know she wouldn't want me to change that way, either. We love each other as we are. And these rings show that more than any matched set ever could.
Before I can respond, Anna speaks again. "You have always had my blessing, Tobias. You've earned that many times over. But beyond that…you should know that I am very, very happy to have you in my family. I couldn't possibly have wished for Tris to find someone better."
Warmth spreads through me at the words – at this compete acceptance by Tris' only living parent figure – and at the incredible gift she's giving us.
"Thank you," I say softly. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
Anna's smile deepens. It's not a polite Abnegation upturning of the lips, or a wild Dauntless grin, but something from all the way inside her that lights her entire face.
"You are more than welcome, Tobias."
Very gently, I place the rings back into the box, closing the lid and just holding it, savoring the emotions going through me. Everything about this moment feels right.
"Can I invite Micky?" Anna asks, and my eyes shoot to her in surprise. But I don't even hesitate in my answer.
"Absolutely. Him and Luella, and Lauren, too." Because Anna is right. They're part of the history behind Tris' ring – part of how it already connects us. And that connection should definitely be part of our wedding.
After all, it will be part of the rest of our lives.
A/N: I should be able to post the next chapter within a few days. It's already written and reviewed - I just need to do the final tweaks, which hopefully won't take long. In the meantime, please take a moment to let me know what you thought of this chapter. Comments always motivate me to work on this story! :-)