Just Keep On Keeping On: The Coffee Shop

The next week is gloomy at best. Our little apartment seems to be devoid of happiness. Steven is withdrawing back into his shell. I had hoped giving him time would make him go back to normal, fun, bubbly Steven, but it doesn't.

So I decide to talk to Jade. Sure, maybe Steven's state is only temporary, but maybe it's not and maybe keeping him from his mom is the wrong thing. Maybe Jade isn't really all that bad. Maybe she has her moments, but maybe she's loving. Sure she left me with Steven, but she just seemed so confused at the time. So haggard and weak. And she did come back for him.

I dial up Cat after retrieving my phone from the car. She answers on the final beep again with a weary hello.

"Hey Cat. I know you know where Jade is, so don't even try to deny it. I want to talk to her about Steven. I think he might want to go back with her..." I jump right into it, wasting no time. I hear a gasp on the other line and can just visualize Cat's shocked face.

"I...I'll tell her to call you," she says and then the line goes silent for a while. "A-And...Hey Robbie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everything." And with that she hangs up, ever the flighty Cat Valentine.

Later that day I get a phone call from Jade and we decide we're going to meet up at a coffee store at about six that's only around half an hour from my house. She sounds excited and I can't help but want to scream at her that she's not getting Steven back. That he hates her and wants to stay with me, but I don't, because that's not true.

I spend the few hours I have until I go meet Jade moping around the house, Steven staring at me from the couch wondering what's wrong with me. But no, he doesn't ask, and I can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment that he's slipped back so far into this withdrawal that he's hardly speaking to me. Still, I'm happy because if we were to talk, I'm afraid I might have a nervous breakdown right in front of the toddler and that would not be good. Much worse than ignoring one another.

I pace back and forth while time slowly clicks away until it's six. Then it's time to face Steven, the boy I've been living with for almost a year. Huh. Has it really been that long?

"Steven?" I inquire and his head immediately pops up from behind the couch.

"Yeah?"

"I have to go out with one of my friends to work on a project...I don't know when I'll be back. If you're hungry, I bought some more snacks and I also picked up your favorite." His eyebrows shoot up in interest.

"Vanilla Wafers?"

"Yeah. Vanilla Wafers," I wink and a bright smile takes over his face. It's nice to see him smile that widely. After all, he hasn't been doing much of it lately. I walk towards the entryway and grab my jacket before pausing to look back at him. "You know the rules, right buddy? No letting in strangers. If you hear something crazy happening call 911. If something randomly combusts, make sure to crawl under the smoke and out the door, then run away from the building and go to the neighboring apartments and point out that there is a fire in our building..." What? Anything could happen. "Oh, and if Ethan comes-"

"Yeah, I know, I know. Hide in your closet unless I can find a way out. I got it, I got it. You can go now," Steven groans exasperatedly. I can't help grin.

"Okay, okay, I'm going," I concede, quickly going over to him and ruffling his hair. He ducks a little before throwing me a smirk and then tries to smooth out his messy hair.

"Bye bye kiddo!" I cheerily say before hastily making my way from the apartment into my car, and from my car all the way to Starbucks in a complete state of panic. This could go incredibly, incredibly wrong, or it could go...Well, I couldn't really see a way this could go right now that I think about it...Either way, it's to late to back out now so I end up parking in the small lot and then shuffling into the coffee place, the door jingling as I push it open.

Jade's already waiting.

"Robbie!" she calls, waving me over to her hurriedly. I scowl but come anyway. Here we go. I take a seat across from her, trying to avoid eye contact for as long as possible.

"You know, I think I'm going to grab a drink rea-"

"Don't try to avoid this Shapiro...Now I heard you wanted to talk to me about Steven," she launches straight into it, leaning forward onto her knees and raising her eyebrows at me expectantly. I bring myself to look at her, sneering, and twiddle with my thumbs a bit. She takes offense at this and narrows her eyes. "We're already starting this?" she dares me.

I sigh, forcing my face to become neutral. Shapiro, get a hold of yourself man! "I've been thinking...and it might be best for him to go back living with you...On one condition." She looks almost crestfallen as I add the extra piece of information, but composes herself so quickly that I doubt if I even saw the way her face screwed up in sorrow at all. "You have to tell me what you've been doing with your life and then you're going to have to fix whatever you're doing wrong."

"You're not my judge," she hisses, immediately pushing back on me. I should have expected such a reaction from the infamous Jade West.

"Actually, yes I am-" She tries to talk over me, but I raise my voice a little louder drawing the attention of two old ladies sitting a table over and plow through with what I had been saying. "I will decide if Steven goes back to you because I'm not going to allow him to go back with you if you can't freakin' take care of yourself. So, whether you like it or not, I'm going to be 'the judge' and you had better be nice and comply if you want to have any hope of getting Steven back." Her eyebrows slant further, but I ignore it and continue our conversation.

"First off, where did you go when you left Steven?"

"My other house," she icily spits.

"Cut the attitude," I warn. "And that's a lie. You don't have any money to afford another house." She grimaces for a second, but then steels herself.

"Fine. Cat's."

"Okay, good. What were you doing there?"

"As if that's any of your damn busin-"

"As I said before, it is. Now be a good girl Jade and answer." The tone in which I reprimand her shocks me. I've changed a lot since high school. I was no longer the nerd that everyone could push around. I had gained some confidence.

"I was sorting out what to do with my life."

"And did that include doing drugs or drinking?" I ask without shame.

"I...Maybe a little bit."

"Okay." I had already guessed that much. "Are you a habitual user?"

"Sometimes. When I'm upset."

"So, if you smoke, or do drugs, or drink, or whatever, what makes you think you can take care of Steven when you couldn't before?" I hit the question that was bound to come up sooner or later.

"I'm better now."

"How?"

"I can control myself more."

"How?"

"You're really getting on my nerves."

"As you are on mine," I snarl back. "Now how." It's more of a demand than a question really.

"I...I don't know...I just can."

"So you've come to terms with Beck?"

"I- what?" she spits, incredulous. I can't help but be shocked. She thinks she can take care of Steven when she still hasn't gotten over Beck?

"You're still hung up on him?"

"Robbie, that's stupid. How can I be hung up on someone that's dead? Your question is dumb. Now can we move on to more important things?"

"Jade, I can't trust you with Steven when you still have problems dealing with Beck. After all, you said it yourself, he looks to much like a young Beck...I think we're done here. Get help," I add insult to injury and make a move to get up, but she lashes out and grabs my wrist.

"No wait! I mean, stay. I'm not hung up on Beck...I can...I can prove it! Ask me anything about his death. I'll show you I'm over it and that I know he's dead and there's nothing I can do about it." My curiosity is peaked and I sit back down.

"Okay then...So you're not still in love with him?" I say hesitantly. She takes a deep breath, biting her lip.

"No...He's just the past," she admits quietly.

"And you're not ever upset anymore, thinking you could have done different?"

"No. I mean, I think about him when I get up every morning, but I never waste my day on it."

Seems healthy enough. "Okay. And so...you don't blame yourself for what happened? That you feel you could have stopped his death?" And here's where she hesitates. Her eyes flash with pain and her strong facade is quickly washed away. Her body is trembling slightly like she's remembering something she wishes she wasn't, and I'm painfully reminded of how skinny she is as I look at her frail body, rattling like a leaf in the wind.

"Jade...You don't still blame yourself, right?" I ask again, giving her another chance to answer, making it extremely easy for her to just say yes and be done with this. But she can't bring herself to say it and even when she opens her mouth as if to say something, she snaps it shut. "Jade...Beck's death wasn't your fault...you do believe that, don't you?" I whisper softly, gently, suddenly taken by the pitiful sight of the girl in front me. She pulls her feet up on the armchair she was sitting on and hugs her legs close to her. Her actions remind me that she's not a robot with no feelings or no nothing as I had made her out to be in this whole ordeal. She's human to and she makes mistakes.

I almost feel pity for her.

"I think...I think...we're done. Beck, er, Steven is, um..." I fall silent as those names are all it takes for Jade to start crying. She quickly jumps to her feet and hastily walks out of the store, and I don't know what is possessing me at this moment, but I follow her and run out after her. She's heading for her car and it doesn't take much for me to get ahead of her. I stop her, put my hands on her shoulders, and look her right in her eyes. "Jade...you can't keep running forever."

She holds my gaze for a second or two. "I know," she whispers and then starts to really break down. I realize we're making a scene so I steadily lead her to my car and she slides down the side of it and buries her face in her hands. I'm instantly reminded of all those years back when we were in high school after Beck's death when she was just Jade, not Jade the dropout, and I was just Robbie, not Robbie the friendless lunatic.

I slide down beside her, resting my head back on my car. I close my eyes and inhale deeply before letting out a dry laugh. "What happened to us?" I muse, opening my eyes and glancing at Jade whose frame is shaking. She looks so weak. So pathetic. She's just a shell of a girl that once was. She lost all her fire, all her hope, herself, Steven, and all her money. Really, she's got nowhere to go, nowhere to be. I smile sadly as tears begin to fill my eyes. No wonder she wants Steven. She's got nothing else.

I rub at my eyes, wiping away the tears from under my glasses, crying because of everything that's been happening. Crying because when I glance at Jade, so broken and so shattered, I know I'm going to give Steven back to her even though I don't want to. Crying because it's okay to cry when everything's not all right.

So, eyes most likely red and bloodshot because my skin was irritated easily, I scoot over and wrap my arms around Jade. She buries her face into the crevice of my neck and I could feel the hot tears dripping onto my shoulder. "It's okay...Shh, it's going to be all right. We're going to get you help...Shh..."

Author's Note: You know the thought just occurred to me that I haven't been replying to reviewers...Usually I reply to everyone, I swear. But I haven't. So I just wanted to thank everyone for their reviews, it means a lot!

Any who, hope you enjoyed! Kinda short chapter again, but lots of action, yeah? :)