Chapter 12
Interviewing Sid's Family.
"Howdy y'all! Please welcome Sid's family!" I say nervously. The whole audience booed as Sid's Mother Eunice, Father Milton, his little brother Marshall, and uncle Fungus sat there, staring at the audience.
"Hey!" Said Uncle Fungus, raising his arms in the air. "Where's the love y'all?"
I nearly fainted by the stench. I fumbled about to find the gas mask DonTheHero gave me. I finally found it and placed it on quickly. I took a deep inhale. Ah... the odourless smell of Oxygen! DonTheHero was close by, who had a gas mask on too. I looked at the audience and they all had one of those surgon masks.
"Where's the shower? 'Cos you need one bub!" Yelled someone in the audience. Everyone agreed and continued to boo at them. I predicted that this would happen... and I did a bet with DonTheHero and Bob. I celebrated silently, 'cos now they owe me some cha-ching!
"So, hello," I begin- before sighing deeply. It's was a waste of time to speak over this noise level, never mind the fact everyone continued to shout negative comments. I started getting sick of this and took out a mini fog horn, and pressed the top. I had my finger on the button for about five minutes, until everyone finally stopped. When I stopped, I didn't realize it went right into Fungus' ear... so he maybe shouting a lot during the interview... but was it my fault he was happening to be sitting directly in front of me.
"Thank you." I say firmly, looking at the audience sternly. I turn to Sid's family.
"Hello," I repeat. "Welcome Eunice, Milton, Marshall, and of course... Uncle Fungus."
"Hi Cookie," They all greeted.
"It's a pleasure to be here Ms Cookie," said Milton, shaking my hand.
"Glad you could come." I say cheerfully.
"O Milton! Ain't she a doll?" Squeaked Eunice. I cocked up an eyebrow, but said nothing, even though i felt my ears going a bit red. Once they go red, I start to the feel not so hot.
"Well, let's get started on the questions from my viewers... if you don't want to answer any questions, just say 'pass'. Comprende?" I ask.
"See comprende!" They all replied.
"And so," I begin, "Shiego627 asks... well how about she asks you herself?"
The sloths had no idea what i meant, but then everyone clapped and cheered as Shiego627 waved at all, her smile hidden by the mask she was wearing, so they clapped too, being excited as well as polite.
"Is she single?" Marshall said to me as he clapped. I went redder then ever, but pretended I didn't hear that, because there was NO WAY I would have been able to answer that one!
"Now I also invited ALL my fellow writers and guest viewers, give them all a round of applause."
All from the Ice Age Forum (Who have reviewed me before, with a profile or unknown,) stood and waved with Shiego as they got a positive welcome by the rest of my audience. But then sitting down again as Shiego looked at me.
"I think you should cover your ears Cookie, cause this will be loud," she announced as she pulled down the mask a little. "I sent in some ear plugs for you. Did you get them?"
"Got 'em!" I said and stuck them in. Once they were secured, I got her a thumbs up. DonTheHero covered his ears with a finger in each ear, shutting his eyes.
"What's with the ear plugs and such?" Questioned Eunice, as the whole audience copied him.
"What?" I say, seeing as i had the ear plugs in my ears I could hear anything.
"1. HOW THE HELL CAN YOU GUYS LIVE WITH YOURSELVES LEAVING POOR SID AND GRANNY JUST LIKE THAT THEY WERE YOUR FAMILY!?" She hollered. I did hear her, but i sure felt the whole atmosphere shake at her volume as I glanced at Sid's family leaning back. Marshall was leaning back a little too much, and nearly fell if the chair. I only saw Shiego's mouth moving up, and down, but thankfully I won't be having hearing problems... unlike Sid's family.
Silence is really golden... I thought deeply as I sat there, waiting til I saw Shiego's mouth stop moving. I waited for a couple of seconds, til i saw her give the thumbs up.
"Right," I say as i took each ear plug out, looking over at my guests. I could still feel a the vibe of her noise level moving about, but i just ignored it. "Do you have an answer?"
Eunice head from left, had a short pause, and then spun to the right.
"No we don't," said uncle Fungus, crossing his arms, pouting slightly. "Especially when someone yells at us."
"So your say you have answer, but because she shouted her question to you, it automatically means you won't answer?"
Eunice nodded. "And we refuse to answer, even at command."
"Okay the next question is from SirCreepington9th, who is also in the audience. He is in front of Shiego. He asked; How can you A) leave Sid every migration and B) leave Granny?"
Everyone had their eyes on the pack of sloths, who soon looked at one another, before all eyes looked at Milton and Eunice.
"Um..." Milton stammered awkwardly. Eunice eye's shifted from left to right, then up and down, then straight at me. Again I sat there, with my eyebrow up, almost hiding in my hair, as I, along with the whole audience, waited for an answer from either her, or Milton.
"Can we pass this one?" Asked Milton. I shook my head four times. Eunice seemed to have found this annoying and unfair, because she described; 'that's totes unfair!'
"Yeah," agreed Uncle Fungus, actually not shouting this out, even after the outburst Shiego had, AND the fog horn incident from earlier. "You said at the start that we could if we wanted!"
"I forgot to point out not if I wanted to find out the answer too," I lied. "So you better tell us, we can wait in the eerie silence if you want." I smirked, before speaking/singing; "I have all day..."
Eunice frowned at me.
Ain't so much of a doll now am I Eunice? I thought. We all sat in silence, waiting for Eunice, Milton, or anyone to answer the question.
"Well," Marshall began, "as Granny explains to everyone again and again, their screw-ups-"
Another wave of negativity flowed around the room, and I was starting to get really annoyed about it.
"Hey, stop being so negative to my little Marshall!" Eunice declared, embracing her son protectively, hiding his face in her bosom.
"Mom..." said Marshall's muffled voice.
So instead of taking the fog horn out, I just sat there, clicking my fingers, one hand after the other, waiting for someone to hear it, and warn everyone else we were wasting time. Soon, I sighed loudly, someone saw me, and they told everyone to shut the hell up. It was no other than SirCreepington9th himself, who stood up as everyone clapped and looked at me with a look of seeking request. I nod, my gas mask jiggling about as I told Sid's family that he also had a warning. The family sighed, and we could all tell they were pretty sick at this point about all the negative views on them, by almost everyone in the world (Including me!)
"Now," said SirCreepington9th. "If you try to drop off anymore people of your family, I will hunt you down and destroy you! GOT IT?!"
"Got it," said Milton with a heavy sigh. SirCreepington9th's jaws tightened, but I gestured at him to sit down again, which he did obey.
"Okay DonTheHero, my security guard has some questions for you." I gestured to DonTheHero, who just looked at them with a blank expression.
"Consider all of you are lucky, because I don't have any threatening warning," he said. "But my warning is to Uncle Fungus and Uncle Fungus ONLY." He looked straight at Uncle Fungus when stressing the air in his voice as he said 'only'. Fungus gulped, but I braced myself; "KEEP YOUR ARMS DOWN WILL YA? OR ELSE I'LL BREAK OUT THE SOAP AND WATER!"
Fungus nodded quickly and kept his arms to his sides.
"Okay so my questions for Sid's family: 1. To Uncle Fungus do you ever bathe!?" He gagged the last part of the question.
"Thy liquid is a danger to me!" Said fungus, holding his head high into the air. I raised an eyebrow, but just shook my head at his child like behavior.
"That's something my little sister or some other younger relative would say!" I sighed, as DonTheHero continued his questions.
"2. How many times have you tried to abandon Sid?"
"I'd say... 3-4 times every two months?" Marshall thought aloud. I looked at him in surprise. Eunice saw this and tutted at her young son.
"Never mind Marshall," She insisted. Then she hissed, "He is desperately looking for a girlfriend..."
"I kinda caught that earlier," I hiss back. Then I paused. "How is that even relevant?"
Eunice shrugged, before I spoke towards DonTheHero loudly. "Proceed!"
"Righto! Question 3 is; What made you decide to suddenly drop Granny off with Sid?"
"She was getting what we call a little... out of hand, nagging for this, screaming for that...and soon she was turning absolutely nuts!"
"She doesn't seem that insane..." I point out slowly, but when Sid's family began to stare at me if I was in need of a straight jacket... along with the DonTheHero and everyone in the audience...
"Well not now that she's with the herd of course." I add quickly, sweating slightly. DonTheHero raised an eyebrow at me strangely, before asking his final question; "How did you survive the changing plates?"
"We have our ways of getting around. Can't tell though." Said Milton, tapping the bridge of his nose. I sigh. I hated when someone does that!
"Oh well you don't tell, you don't yell," I say. "Anyway please welcome Timber Paw. Who has four questions for you."
Timber Paw jumped up excitedly, causing everyone to clap and cheer, while greeting his fellow writers by shaking hands.
"Sup?" He declared, waving about. "So to Sid's family: Would you include Sid and Granny in your family again, after all what happened?"
"As long as they promise to be normal, that's fine by me." Said Eunice. I hear someone laugh aloud, before declaring 'There is no hope!'
"And so what if they don't turn normal?" I say. "Normal is boring! Weirdness and Craziness is awesome!"
"Not in Granny's case it's not!" Exclaimed Uncle Fungus, hiding his eyes with one hand and covering Marshall's with the other. I shook my head as Timber paw continued.
"Was Granny always that annoying?" He questioned. Now it was Timber Paws turn to have the same looks that I received just minutes ago.
"Okay!" He said quickly. "No need for an answer for that! So question 3- Are there more family members we don't know?"
"Yes," said Marshall. "Our Cousin Zack, and Grandpa Bertie."
"Oh?" I said in surprise, Timber Paw's last question, "Where do you live and where do you come from?"
"Pass," Said Eunice. "If we tell you Sid will only come looking for us."
I started to get really annoyed about how Eunice was treating her own son.
"Why are you guys so mean to Sid?! You should be ashamed of yourselves!" shouted someone from the audience. Once again I wait for the negativity to end.
"Frostpinkloverfr has questions for you. She is in the audience, behind Timber Paw. Frostpink?"
"Present!" She declared. She glared at the family on stage as the claps rose again. "You guys make me sick! Sid never did anything to you. Granny didn't do anything to you either! And so with my questions; Marshall how old are you?"
"Take a guess." Marshall sat back with a grin on his face.
"I'd say..." I began slowly as all their heads turned towards me. "you're about... 15? 16 at the latest?"
Marshall's grin became a little but smaller.
"Close enough." He answered. I just shrugged, wasn't really bothered about it, and let it brush off.
"This one is for Sid's mum," said Frostpinkloverfr. "It's not really a question but, I never thought any mother would ever leave their baby boy..."
"Shocking I know right!?" I announced. Eunice glared darts at me.
"Okay... Sid's dad: wow. You make me sick."
"Why?" Asked Milton. He sniffed his armpits and checked his breath. "Was it something I ate?"
Frostpink rolled her eyes, as I laughed.
"Well our final questions are from AJB. Now, AJB, who is the person beside Shiego, has questions for you. AJB?" I turn my head towards AJ, who stood up like the other authors, doing the usual smile as everyone greeted him with claps.
"So my questions for Sid's family; 1.Why do you dislike Sid?"
Uncle Fungus suddenly sighed, which in my opinion, was very unlike him. "We just answered this question seconds ago!"
"No...it wasn't seconds ago..." I said uncertainly. But of course they knew I was fibbing, and looked like they were ready to murder me.
"Moving on..." I said quickly.
"And finally, what has Sid done to any of you double crossovers to make him not appreciated to you?"
"He was born the way he was." Eunice stated, folding her arms, "and I wasn't willing to look after a child like that."
I looked at the group with a look of pure disgust. "So you're saying you abandoned Sid when he started to walk and talk?!"
Silence filled the room as everyone's facial expressions turned out just like mine. Milton looked horrified.
"No," he testified. "He was like any normal, happy kid growing up, but as soon as he became a teenager... t-that happened."
"What did?"
Milton began to list out everything. "Clumsiness, Lack of Common Sense... Stupidity, and having no feelings for anyone or anything! Probably even now!"
I was literally turning red with rage at this point. Sid was one of my favorite characters in Ice Age, and no one has ever dissed Sid like that, especially when I'm around.
"For your information," I begin slowly, taking off thee gas mask, not caring about the foul odour. "Sid does have feelings. Look at this,"
We all looked at the screen behind me, where Sid was sitting, and a voice asked him to tell them about his family.
"My family abandoned me." He states simply. "They kinda migrated without me. You should have seen what they did last year."
"What did they do?" The voice asks. Sid chuckles, but we all heard his voice cracking up a bit, as if he was about to cry. Eunice and Milton looked like they were going to cry too.
"I mean, they got up early, and quickly tied up my hands and feet, and gagged me with a field mouse, and barricaded the cave door, and covered their tracks, and went through water so I'd lose their scent, and... and... who needs them anyway? "
There was silence throughout the whole room as I threw the paper that were once in my grasp on the floor.
"All of your ancestors must number in the millions," I said, standing up. "it's hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you Eunice."
"Oh..." There was a huge wave of this single word from the audience, even DonTheHero went a little large in the eyes.
"And you Milton, Marshall, and Uncle Fungus. Sid, and Granny are amazing people. Sid is living his life with a beautiful girlfriend, they live with a wonderful herd. They do a better job then you guys even tried connecting with the two again." I turn my head away from them. "Get them off my stage."
I sat down again as Sid's... very distraught family... was taken off stage... I was still very angry, so everyone was silent. So I forced on a smile.
"Sorry about that everyone! So, now that we have Sid's family done, Ethan is next right after break!" I announce. Everyone slowly clapped as I went back stage and cooled off.
DonTheHero came to my dressing room during commercial break to see if I was alright.
"Yeah, I'm fine..." I answer. I sipped on tea shakily, "I just blew my top a little... that's all."
"A LITTLE?" Declared Don. He had a cup of tea too, and nearly crushed the cup with one hand. "What happened out there wasn't what I called; 'a little'! I called it 'The sloths being served with a side order of fries'! Everyone would want to do that! You know I certainly would! To show how much hate they have you know?"
"I know... but I didn't mean to be like that," I stammered. "I was just so angry what they were saying about Sid... quickly moving on with the subject; where's the 5 bucks I was promised?"
"Cookie?" Interrupted Sandra, one of the camera operators as she opened the door. "Someone's here to talk to you."
"If it's one of Sid's family members, tell them I'm busy." I say, leaning against the wall and folding my arms. I never wanted to see them again after today, not just because of the sheer hate I now had for them, but it would have been awkward... but Sandra shook her head and said; "it's Sid alone!"
I straightened up immediately. "Oh send him in."
Sid came in, smiling as bright as anything. I gulped as DonTheHero slid out of the room, muttering that he'll leave us be.
"What- um- can... I do for you Sid?" I stammered.
"Thank you." He said, giving me a hug. I froze. "Thank me for what?"
"What you said to be family silly!" He replied joyfully. "I've been wanting to say that for ages, but I was too scared to. Thank you." I smile at him, and continued to do so as I prepared my next interview.
I couldn't believe Sid thanked me for the heartless deed I had done.
There you go everyone!
Ethan is up next!
Sorry for late update!
Plz send in loads of questions!