Loneliness, in its true essence, is a hard companion that never seems to go away except perhaps in the harsh light of love. It is even harder to escape from when one feeds it regularly with self-esteem and pride.
Erik knew this, it was something even his child self had understood ages ago. He knew that love would be rare to come across, but in the daze of loving Allegra he forgot just how fragile love was. It wasn't long before loneliness decided to attack his soul once more.
So he sat on Meg's roof, grateful to accept loneliness back into his life so he could at least feel something where his heart used to beat.
It didn't seem fair. Nothing appeared fair anymore. His whole life was spent in torment from the truth that no one in the world would ever care about him. Those that happened to be miracles left his life too soon to change it. Even his friends would die eventually, and he would never be able to see them again.
He could still picture her clearly though. The way her red hair reflected the sunlight, or her green eyes glint when she laughed. Erik closed his eyes and daydreamed about her telling him how beautiful a tree, just an infuriating tree, looked in her eyes. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, tell her how much of an idiot she was, and really mean every word. Allegra's childishness was a curse, but it wasn't a lethal one until his own bold perspective of life influenced her timid spirit to try to force such visions into reality.
In his dream he told her this, but before she could reply the slam of the back door startled him out of his daydream.
"Erik!" Melody called, walking out into the middle of the yard. He was invisible thankfully, already feeling so weak from the past seven days. "Erik, come on. I know it has been a week, but dude, you still have friends."
Yes, friends that would die like her, Erik thought.
She mumbled a few curse words. "Let me guess, you probably want to fade now. Fine. Forget about Elizabeth, forget me and Meg, forget about Christine. I don't care! My best friend says that if you're trying to get into someone's life but they don't care enough to notice then don't waste your time on them. I have a graveyard meeting to attend anyway." Melody went over to the gate then looked back with a worried look on her face, probably hoping that he wasn't gone yet and she had just spoken to air. Worry turned to determination as she left, leaving him alone again.
Erik hadn't quite thought about fading before. It seemed like a good solution to his problems. He wasn't sure where he would end up, but he honestly didn't care. All of his friends reminded him of her, Paris reminded him of his past, the whole world was just a huge reminder of his suffering.
It was time to say goodbye.
He concentrated on the thought of leaving this form, freeing himself of his chains. Once he committed himself to this thought the process would be irreversible. Without a moment's hesitation he did just that, and watched as his fingers disappeared. He could still feel them, wherever they were now, but he would now be in a different state. The process creeped up his arms slowly, and instead of watching he decided to watch the sunset one last time.
The shadows it cast were prettier than the pinks and purples clouding the sky in his opinion. Only, there was a blot of black that was moving irregularly, and wasn't there moments before.
Erik took in a sharp breath of air, out of instinct, when he noticed the red hair. It seemed duller, most phantoms did lose their appearence of liveliness, but it was unmistakingly Allegra's.
Watching, she fully materialized a minute later dressed in a floor length black dress with a halter top, her back towards him. Erik looked down at himself and realized that he could only see his stomach up, and that the process was quickening. With his last ounce of energy he screamed out her name in anguish of what would inevitably happen.
She froze for a moment before turning around, still getting used to not feeling alive anymore. When she saw him she covered her mouth with her hands, her eyes already shimmering with tears.
"Erik, what's happening?!"
"I'm sorry," he shook his head. "I chose to fade away. I thought I had lost you forever."
"Can you stop it? Come back?" Erik shook his head. "How much time do you have?"
"Oh," he looked down at nothing, "about a minute."
"There's so much I want to say!"
"Look, I only have a minute so let me go first. It's too late for me, but don't you dare fade away too. This is your second shot. Stay somewhat alive and take care of everyone for me.. Also, I love you, but super great timing."
Allegra shook her head, paused, then looked up at him. "Promise me we'll meet in the next life someday, okay? This isn't goodbye."
Still naive, but if it makes her happy to have a sense of forever then he would play along as well. "See you later, Idiot." Erik smirked, not knowing if his mouth was still visible or not.
"See you later, Phantom." Allegra waved, trying her best to smile genuinely at him.
That would be her last gift to him. A smile of love, of worry, of kindness, of sorrow, and of compassion. He couldn't ask for anything more as the world faded with him.
Allegra fell to her knees and screamed at the ground, at everything.
When she was little she used to want to be Juliet, and have her own Romeo. Death seemed okay so long as you found your true love before you died. Now she knew how stupid that had been, and how much it hurt to be Juliet moments after Romeo's death. Allegra wasn't even sure if she should be thankful that they were able to speak to one another before being separated forever. If anything it made the feeling of her heart being wrenched away that much painful.
Overwhelmed with emotion and weeping, she fell to the ground. The back yard's gate opened and Elizabeth flew over to Allegra.
"Oh my God, oh my God. What happened?" She tried to pick Allegra up but her hands passed through her. Allegra still didn't know how all of her powers worked yet. Her only teacher was dead. The thought renewed her sadness and she hugged herself into a tight ball, wanting to disappear.
"Calm down, Allegra, I'm calling Mel. She'll know what to do."
Allegra eventually stopped crying and simply lay there, numb, on the ground. When Mel returned from wherever she didn't bother to even sit up.
"Allegra, come on, you need to tell me what happened."
She thought about remaining silent, but it would only hurt her friends more. "I came back and Erik was fading. He's gone now," she whispered faintly.
Melody sat down next to her, clouded in thought. "Let me guess, you want to leave too?"
Allegra nodded, carefully watching the reaction of her two friends. Elizabeth seemed to be shocked, but Mel just looked like she was expecting her response. "I know," Melody said. "I've lost people too. Whatever you decide, we're here for you."
"Would you guys be okay if I left?"
Elizabeth spoke up, "Well obviously we would be sad, but it's your decision. We won't be depressed forever or want to follow in your footsteps. I've got a lot of life still in me you know."
Allegra closed her eyes, thinking about what to do. She knew inside her heart that she should have stayed dead, that this was a mistake ever coming back. Maybe she was meant to say goodbye to Erik one last time, and then leave. "Okay.. I've decided that I want to fade. Um, how do I fade exactly?"
Melody shrugged. "I donno. This is uncharted stuff. Just tell yourself that you want to fade I guess. If it doesn't work I'll look some stuff up."
Allegra nodded. "Can I be alone for my last few moments?"
They both looked upset, but agreed.
"I love you Mel, and I want you to know that I always knew about Jackie, even though I never met her."
Melody closed her eyes, but not before a tear could run down her face. "I love you too, Allegra, despite how weird it sounds."
Allegra smiled. "Take care of each other. Elizabeth, I expect you to not go insane and kill people, okay?"
"Okay," Elizabeth bitterly chuckled.
They walked inside Meg's house together as the sky grew darker.
"I want to leave, I want to leave," Allegra whispered over and over, saying nothing but the truth. Before long she noticed that she couldn't see her hands anymore, then her arms, and then her whole body. It was strange, but it also ameliorated her situation knowing that she could possibly see Erik again. Or so she hoped.
Instead of happiness, or love, or music, this time, with more time to think, her last thought was of hope. The most beautiful, timeless idea of all.