A/N: I originally posted this chapter out of order but have now moved it to its correct location. By the way, thank you all so much for the outpouring of reviews, favorites, and follows lately. I really appreciate the support! Thank you also to my wonderful beta reader, Rosalie! Oh, and I changed the story summary. Please let me know what you think of it.
Chapter 39: Tobias – Wedding
"You look good," Zeke says as he gives me a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Tris will be impressed."
And maybe he's right. I've never thought highly of my appearance, but as I look in the mirror now, I actually like what I see. Between the black tuxedo and white shirt, the gray bow tie and cummerbund, and my blue eyes, I seem to represent most of the factions. Add in the grin I don't even want to erase, and it's all perfectly Kaizen. It makes me feel even more like I belong with Tris.
"So, are you nervous?" Zeke asks as he adjusts my bow tie just a touch.
"No," I answer simply. And it's true. I have never been more certain of anything than I am about marrying Tris.
My best friend shakes his head a little, giving me a lopsided grin. "See, I just don't get that. I mean, I love Shauna, but I was a basket case right before the ceremony."
"Yeah, I know," I remind him, not quite able to suppress my smirk. "I was there." Lifting a shoulder, I add, "Kevin would probably say it's from growing up in Dauntless versus Abnegation."
Zeke nods, but then a slight frown creases his face. "Where is Kevin, anyway?"
"Presumably on the roof," I answer. "He's getting everything ready up there, right?"
But Zeke's expression tells me that isn't the case. "He wasn't there earlier," he says uncertainly, looking like he's not sure he should worry me. "But he's probably there now. I'll go check."
"We'll both go," I state firmly, suddenly concerned. Kevin is always on time.
When we reach the roof, it's immediately obvious that something is wrong. Most of the bridal party is gathered into a group, discussing something heatedly. Among them, I see a tired-looking Kevin, still dressed in his Erudite blue instead of his groomsman's suit.
"What's going on?" My voice slips into its instructor tone automatically, and Uriah jumps slightly in response.
"Michael is sick," Kevin says apologetically. "He spiked a fever and was up half the night vomiting."
Beside me, Zeke swears, and I see his frustration mirrored in the others' faces. But I immediately go into problem-solving mode. This is absolutely not going to derail my wedding.
"Do you need to get back to him?" I ask Kevin, trying to assess how many members of the wedding party we're losing.
"No, my sister-in-law is watching him." As he speaks, he glances to the side, and I realize that his wife, Miriam, is setting up her musical keyboard. I breathe a small sigh of relief. I feel bad for Michael, but I can't help but be glad that my friend and sponsor will be here today, and that we'll still have music for the ceremony.
I give Kevin's shoulder a grateful pat. "Okay, go get dressed. We'll figure out the rest."
He's barely out of earshot before Shauna begins. "My brother's coming. We could have him fill in for Michael."
Zeke's laugh is probably the most elegant of the answers she receives. Hector served as their ring-bearer, but he was overaged for that even before his recent growth spurt. He's now almost as tall as I am and is sporting a full set of facial hair.
"Well, do you have any better ideas?" Shauna demands, glaring at her husband.
"I don't know," he mutters, looking at the rows of empty chairs. "Is anyone else with a kid coming?"
"No," I answer, knowing the guest list well at this point. My sister is the only other child expected, and she's already the flower girl.
"Margaret might have a friend she could ask," I begin hesitantly, but then I shake my head as I immediately think better of the idea. "No, there wouldn't be time, and even if we found someone, we wouldn't be able to show him what to do."
"Christina is going to flip out," Shauna groans.
"No, she's not," Uriah says firmly. "I'll take care of this."
"How?" Zeke asks suspiciously, but Uriah just turns to Cara.
"Let Christina know, but tell her it's okay. I've got this." Glancing around at the group, he adds, "Trust me."
For a long moment, it's obvious that no one does, at least not fully. But finally Cara sighs and leaves, shaking her head. And the others disperse to finish setting everything up. The guests will be arriving soon, after all.
I, however, level my gaze at Uriah. "You're going to be the ring-bearer, aren't you?" I ask him.
His smile gives him up. "Well, at least I know the timing. I watched enough of the rehearsals for that. And I don't have a beard, unlike some choices…."
I can't help it. I laugh. Part of me has felt bad about not including Uriah in the wedding party, so maybe this is the opportunity to make up for that. He's been my friend for almost as long as Zeke, after all, and he did play some role in prompting me to retrieve Tris' ring. There's something appropriate about having him deliver it today.
"Do it justice," I tell him, and then I head toward the stairs to greet our guests as they begin arriving.
My heartbeat increases when Cara sets up the screen that will hide Tris until the right time. Somehow, the sight of that barrier makes everything real – I can already imagine my soon-to-be-wife standing there, watching me before I get a chance to see her.
My mother smiles at me, rubbing a hand up and down my arm soothingly, as if she thinks I'm nervous. But that's not the right word. Excited would be more accurate. Or maybe thrilled. I can barely wait the last few minutes before we're scheduled to start.
By the time Shauna and Christina join us, letting us know that Tris is in position, Miriam is playing general background music, and the audience is talking quietly. It's finally time.
Kevin signals his wife, and the music changes. In front of me, Anna steps forward, walking down the aisle first. She's almost as short as Tris, but today she looks tall, carrying herself with a tremendous sense of presence. The white and black of her dress flash like sunlight and shadows among the red and yellow flowers that surround the seating area. It's a dramatic effect.
Amar and Cara are next, walking arm-in-arm, their dark blue and gray outfits complementing each other. I have to give Christina credit for coordinating the colors well while reflecting multiple factions. But despite that, my eyes keep straying to the screen that's hiding Tris. I don't really care how everyone and everything else look – I want to see my bride.
Zeke and Shauna head down the aisle at this point, Shauna rolling smoothly with Zeke's hand on her arm. And for a moment, I think about their wedding, when Tris and I filled their roles, and they filled ours. It feels like that was ages ago.
Kevin and Christina begin their walk, and I watch more attentively now, knowing that it's my turn after them. I find myself bouncing up and down on the balls of my feet in anticipation. It makes Evelyn chuckle lightly beside me, and I glance at her, marveling at how comfortable we are in each other's presence these days. There were so many years when I couldn't possibly have imagined having her at my side at a time like this – or at all.
Kevin and Christina reach the front, and I know it's time. For a split second, I exchange a smile with my mother as we link our arms, and then I step forward, feeling happier and more confident than I can ever remember being in my entire life. This is really happening.
Mom and I walk down the aisle together, glancing at the friends who fill the seats on both sides. I didn't quite realize how many people we knew until we started drawing up the guest list, but I'm glad to see their familiar faces as I escort Evelyn to her seat in the front row.
We exchange another smile, and she kisses me on the cheek. "I'm so happy for you, Tobias," she whispers before sitting down. The words bolster me even more as I take my place at the front, next to Zeke and Kevin.
My eyes turn to the back again, and I can't keep them off the screen that shields Tris. There's a crack between the panels, and she's undoubtedly watching us through that. I gaze at it, letting her know that I'm eager to see her, and to begin. This is our day, and I really don't want to wait any longer.
But I reluctantly have to. So, I instead turn my attention to my sister as she begins walking down the aisle, scattering red and yellow petals from her basket as she goes. Margaret was thrilled to be part of our wedding, and she shows it in the wide smile that splits her face. It draws an answering grin from me, as if I wasn't already wearing one.
When she reaches the front row, she tosses a final handful of petals and then gracefully takes her seat, and I watch as Uriah begins moving forward in Michael's role. It's difficult not to shake my head when I see what he's doing. I should have expected this….
He's crouched down in an obvious attempt to appear shorter, and he's moving in strange goose steps in order to maintain that height. It's more than a little funny, and laughter follows him as each section of the audience sees him. But he holds the pillow high, showing off the rings and somehow keeping a straight face as if this is a normal kind of ring-bearer for a wedding to have.
At first, I think the rest of the wedding party is in shock, because they're completely silent, but then Zeke starts laughing, and it spreads from there. My own shoulders shake in amusement, and I can hear Shauna starting to crack up.
I take a quick glance at Christina to see if she's offended. It's not her wedding, but she's taken on a lot of the burden of planning it for us, and I'd hate for her to feel like it's ruined because of her boyfriend. For a few seconds, I think she feels exactly that way, as she stares at Uriah, utterly flabbergasted.
I'm relieved when a slow smile works its way onto her face. She shakes her head, but in clear amusement now, as Uriah sidles up next to me, crouching on his knees and holding the pillow up in the same position that Michael practiced. I guess he really did pay attention to the rehearsals, even though he wasn't in them.
The entire audience bursts into cheers, and I chuckle with them. Leaning down so Uriah can hear me, I comment, "It's a good thing Margaret wasn't the one who got sick."
Uriah just grins back. "Are you kidding? I would have made a wonderful flower girl."
The response draws a deeper laugh from me, but then the music changes, and my full attention returns to the back of the aisle. It's time for Tris now.
Vaguely, I'm aware that the audience has quieted, and that everyone is watching as Caleb steps toward the screened area, extending his arm in invitation. But all I can focus on is Tris as she finally emerges, stepping toward her brother and linking her arm with his.
My heart stops completely when they turn toward the front. I have never seen a more beautiful sight than my bride as she walks slowly toward me.
She is absolutely radiant, her face glowing with joy and perfectly framed by the short veil that flows behind her head and shoulders. She or Christina or someone had the sense to style her hair into a bun, reminding me of the first time I saw her – and of all the inner beauty that I loved about Abnegation. The look is seamlessly offset by earrings that dangle just right, making me want to touch them – and her – even from here.
And I can't begin to process how amazing the rest of her looks. A white dress flows down from her exposed shoulders, its bead overlay turning gradually darker as it drifts closer to the floor. The beads shimmer, too, reflecting blue and black and white and gray in a graceful mix of factions as she moves.
And she's mine. Over the last few weeks, I wondered occasionally if I'd see flashes from my fear landscape – from the obstacle where I had to watch her marry Uriah – when I saw her walking down the aisle. But there is nothing except joy in me today as I watch her coming closer, on her way to marry me.
She seems to feel the same way, given how her gaze stays locked with mine and how she grins as if she can't even imagine stopping. I certainly know the feeling.
She doesn't look away until Caleb pulls her to a halt. For a long moment, they face each other, and then he gives her a gentle kiss on the cheek before turning his attention to me.
Nodding at me to formally bless our union, he takes Tris' hand and places it lightly in mine. My fingers immediately lace with hers, and I stare at her again as she takes the last step to my side.
"You look incredible, Tris," I murmur, unable to take my eyes off her. How did I ever get so lucky?
"You do, too," she answers, her voice low. It makes everything inside me tingle with electricity. I lean toward her instinctively, but she beats me to it, standing on tiptoe and touching her lips to mine. My response is immediate, as I pull her to me, kissing her with all the love that refuses to stay bound inside me any longer. It's a spectacular kiss.
We're interrupted by loud cheering from the audience, and I manage to remember that we still have a ceremony to complete. We both flush a little as we pull apart and turn to face Anna.
"Shall we begin?" she asks, her amusement obvious.
"Yes," I state unambiguously. "I can't wait to marry this woman."
Anna chuckles. "Clearly." She's still smiling as she begins her speech.
"We are gathered here today to join this couple, Beatrice Prior and Tobias Eaton, in holy matrimony."
My eyes move to Tris again at the mention of her name, and it's difficult to force myself to look back at Anna as she continues.
"Marriage has a long, rich history, one that has been around as long as we know and one that I'm sure crosses more cultures than we've ever learned about. But what I believe they all share in common is hope. The hope that two people can join their lives and be better together than apart. The hope that they will be happier and more fulfilled as a pair than as individuals."
It's impossible not to search Tris out again at those words. Her gaze meets mine, her eyes shining blue and gray, and I give up on looking away. Instead, I let myself get lost in the love of my life as Anna's speech flows over both of us.
"One of the dubious benefits of aging is that I've witnessed many couples over the years. Ones where that hope blossomed, and they lived well together for their entire lives. And ones where that failed to happen."
"Perhaps that should change my view of marriage. But the reality is that it hasn't, because that hope is too important to lose. It is the core of our lives, and our societies, and we can never abandon it."
"And personally, I have seen that when a couple flourishes, they are far better together than separately. I saw that in my own marriage, to a man I loved every day we were together – and still do. That is a bond worth striving for, and it is the bond that I see between Tobias and Tris."
"They share an unbreakable connection, one that defines who they are and that makes them both stronger. Their love is the epitome of what we all hope to find in our lives."
I smile, knowing that what Anna said is absolutely true. Tris is the center of who I am, and I don't even want to imagine my life without her.
"And so it is my deep honor to join this couple together legally, as they are already bound spiritually."
Out of the corner of my eyes, I can see Anna looking at me as she adds, "Tobias, you may now state your vows."
Turning fully toward Tris, I take her left hand in mine and meet her intense gaze. It's difficult to remember the concept of language, but I begin anyway.
"I, Tobias, take you, Beatrice, to be my lawfully wedded wife." A grin forms from deep within me at the word wife. "To have and to hold, forsaking all others, through good times and bad. For richer or poorer." A mischievous impulse goes through me, and I pull on our experiences to continue instead of using the standard vows. "Through war and danger and imprisonment. Through insanely risky missions. And through peace and calmness too. Through sickness and in health. With or without a faction. With or without anything, really."
My free hand caresses her face on its own. I never have been able to keep myself from touching her. "You're it for me, Tris. You have changed everything about my life, and you are the only one I ever want to be with." My voice drops to almost a whisper, intended only for her. "I love you, and I will be your faithful and loving husband forever."
Her eyes brighten with a mixture of tears and that fierce energy of hers that I am utterly unable to resist, and I find myself reaching blindly for her ring without wanting to pull my gaze away from hers. Uriah presses it into my searching fingers, and I thank him silently as I slide it onto Tris' hand. I can't describe the joy I feel in that moment.
Her gaze drops to the ring for a second before returning to me, and then she begins her vows without waiting for Anna to prompt her.
"I, Beatrice, take you, Tobias, to be my lawfully wedded husband." Another surge of emotion goes through me at that word. I have always been hers, but I love that it will be official now.
"To have and to hold, forsaking all others, through everything that may come. For richer or poorer, through fear and joy, through war and torture and peace and games. Through sickness and injury and recovery and health. Wherever we may live, and whatever we may do."
A grin tugs at me. We certainly have been through some unusual experiences, to have vows like that. But I know I'd go through it all a thousand times if that was the only way to end up here today. Tris is more than worth it.
"Tobias, you are the man of my dreams," she continues, and my heart pounds harder, hesitating only slightly when she shakes her head. "No, you're far beyond that. I never thought that I would meet someone like you, let alone marry you. I have learned so much from you. You helped me and protected me even when we barely knew each other, and you taught me what it means to be strong, and brave, and selfless, and smart. You taught me the importance of honesty and kindness, too."
Our eyes are locked, and her energy is filling me as I absorb her words hungrily. "You are the best person I know. You have always been there for me, and I have no doubt whatsoever that you always will be. But to have the honor of sharing my life with you…." She shakes her head again. "There is nothing better than that. I love you so much, and I am so happy that I get to be your loving and faithful wife forever."
She finishes, and for a moment, I just stare, finding it difficult to breathe. I spent so much of my life being unloved and unwanted, and it took me a very long time to believe that was no longer the case. It took Tris to convince me.
Now, though, with her saying those words as her wedding vows, it finally sinks in that I will never have to live that way again. I get to spend the rest of my life being loved. By the woman I love. The thought is indescribable.
The rest of the world disappears, and I pull her to me, kissing her with all the intensity that's racing through both of us. And I swear that every single atom of my existence responds, connecting to her in a way I didn't even know was possible. It's the single best moment of my life.
But what makes it even better is that I can add the words so far to that sentence. It's only the best moment so far.
When we finally pull apart, I lower my forehead to hers, breathing her scent as I gradually become aware of the noise from the audience. They're cheering loudly, whooping and screaming and clapping in reaction to our very public display of affection.
My Abnegation instincts tell me I should be embarrassed, but it's still not enough to make me move away from Tris. Neither of us budges until Uriah's voice hisses from right next to us.
"Tris!" We both look at him, and the corners of my mouth tug upwards as I realize that he's trying to hand Tris my ring. I had forgotten about it.
Perhaps she had, too, because she flushes slightly as she takes it, before sliding it onto my ring finger. It's impossible not to grin as we turn back to Anna to finish the ceremony.
She's smiling, too, shaking her head and chuckling. "We're certainly not in Abnegation anymore, are we?" The audience laughs.
"Well," she continues, meeting each of our gazes in turn, "Tobias and Tris, it is my privilege to pronounce you husband and wife." The words send a fresh spark of pure, unadulterated joy through me.
"You may now kiss the bride." She pauses, fighting to keep a straight face, before she adds, "Again."
I'm more than happy to accept that invitation.
A/N: Sorry, but I can't include Tobias' POV of the wedding night here, as it's utterly unsuitable for a T rating. But please let me know what you thought of this chapter, anyway. Also, I'm considering starting a short M-rated fic for certain scenes that I can't include here. If you'd like to see that, please let me know which scenes you'd be most interested in reading. Thanks!