I hope you all are enjoying your summer and soon to be fall... Here is a little something that I hope finds you enjoying it a little bit more... Thanks...
Flashbacks in italics
Break In
She had been here so many times before. In this exact place. A place where she was anywhere but home. In a weird way, she thought this was her 'home'. A place to be herself, not feeling she needed to put on airs, feeling a deep seeded comfort, a place she felt rooted. She could let all of her feelings out in this place, more than any other she thought. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, a feeling of anxiousness and relief filled her lungs all at once, knowing she was about to go over the threshold of her 'home', and settle in, wrap herself up in all that it had to offer. She opened her eyes, the quiet was now a thing of the recent past, looking up just a bit, above the lights, a practice she was well versed in now, not allowing herself to be blinded, as she gazed out over the expanse of heads and hands, now coming together in a familiar noise, to greet her 'home'.
"How are you all doing tonight San Diego" Annabelle shouted into the mic as her hands rested gently on her guitar, taking in the night air, feeling the damp weight through her nostrils.
The roar of the crowd was deafening. It seemed like so much time had passed since the last time she heard something like this. So much had happened in the last few months, the internal shift of her emotional reawakening, finally just embracing what she had for so long smothered with her calloused hands, that it felt like and eternity since she had last put pen to paper, voiced her sorrowed soul, plucked the last chords of the night. This was definitely a homecoming of sorts. Her first show after the release of her latest CD. She had enough material to play well into the next day, but this show held so much meaning for her, she wanted to select those musings that would meticulously express exactly what she was feeling. Sure the fans had their favorites, but on this night, she dug deep as well as kept in mind that she also had something that was yet to be heard by anyone, quickly feeling a lump settle in her throat, she bent down, picked up her water bottle and washed away that thought for now, knowing she needed to fill her immediate surroundings with a few familiar notes at the moment.
"When was the last time you had a day off" Annabelle asked her mother as she busied herself filling the coffee pot full of water.
"Honestly, I can't really remember" Senator Tillman stated as she looked up in wonder, trying to think about anything that she did other than answer phone calls, sit in meetings, and walk around in heels that matched her neatly pressed and thoughtful attire.
"Mom, you know, all work and no play make... Annabelle was cut off by her mother saying, "Honey, I know, I know, its not that I do it on purpose, it just happens" as she shrugged her shoulders and then quickly lowered her head, taking a deep breath, feeling the weight of the simple conversation.
"Well, I think you need a break. Your eyes have never looked so, so, tired" Annabelle stated in a caring manner.
"I know honey. I really do. Its not like I have a nine-to-five job with vacations already scheduled" Senator Tillman said with a bit of sadness in her voice, having all of the years of service for the State suddenly tug at her conscience realizing how much little time she had spent with Annabelle.
"Mom, please, I know that, you have worked very hard and are great at what you do, I just think you need a break" Annabelle replied after reading her mother's face, knowing what was going through her head at the moment.
"Annabelle, you are right. Is there something specific or someplace specific you have in mind for me and my time off" Victoria questioned with a raised eyebrow, wondering where this conversation was headed.
"Well, that has yet to be determined, but I do have something in mind. I will let you know when I know" Annabelle stated cryptically when her thoughts started to send her heart racing a mile a minute.
"Sweetie, what is it? You went from smirking to a look of panic in two seconds flat" The Senator replied, reaching out to her daughter and smoothing her aged hand over Annabelle's suddenly trembling one.
"Mom, I, Annabelle held her breath for just a second, that felt like eternity in her mind, let out a large puff of air as she looked down at her mother's hand over her own and continued saying, "I am going to ask Simone to marry me".
The crowd's reaction was nothing less than overwhelming for Annabelle. She masterfully glided through her song list for the evening. Bringing the audience along for the ride through her angst ridden youth to her heartbreak and longing, and wound through a few songs laced with a new hope of what love can really mean. She appreciated the sincerity in the eyes of those in the front rows as they sang along, waved when she looked their way, and smiled during a part of the song that she knew they connected with. This was her life. She brought her life forward, out in the open for everyone to see while all the while keeping somethings close to her heart, just for her alone. Well, not just for her, for the person that held her heart in her hands. The person that without a doubt was the only one with the key to all that was Annabelle. She never liked feeling vulnerable, the smart-ass deflections, the tough exterior carried her through most of her life. There was only one person who broke through the veneer and sank into to the deeper layers of her being. There was only one person who broke her down to her basic needs. There was only one person, who could truly break her heart, and the only person to turn around and pick up the pieces. This person broke through her walls, when no one else who had tried could.
Annabelle smiled slightly knowing this was the last song of the night. Relieved that it had flowed effortlessly, now it was time to let a little more of her self out, not caring if the audience heard her words or music for the next few minutes. She only cared that her life was ready for the new chapter that awaited her. She was writing each line with a reverent acceptance. This is what she wanted, she had her answers, and as she pushed forward, grabbing the next page ready to turn, she closed her eyes, trying to feel another hand along with hers, tugging at the corner, eyes landing on the same line. She took a deep breath and collected herself, opened her eyes and said "Thank you all for coming tonight, you have been great to hang out with, hope to see you soon".
The light sounds of the piano filled the night air as Annabelle put both hands on the microphone and took one last deep breath.
Put your lighter in the air and lead me back home
When it's all said and done I'll follow the echoes
I hear you night after night calling out my name
And I find myself running to meet you
I didn't want to escape
From the bricks that I laid down
You are the only one
The only one that sees me
Trusts me and believes me
You are the only one
The only one that knows me
And in the dark you show me
Yeah it's perfectly reckless
Damn, you leave me defenseless
So break in
Break in
You let me fall apart without letting go
Then you pick up the pieces and you make me whole
I didn't want to escape
From the bricks that I laid down
You are the only one
The only one that sees me
Trusts me and believes me
You are the only one
The only one that knows me
And in the dark you show me
Yeah it's perfectly reckless
Damn you leave me defenseless
So break in
And take everything I have
Until there is nothing left
Until it's just your voice in my head
And when the lights come on
You see me as I am
You're still inside me
You are the only one
The only one that sees me
Trusts me and believes me
You are the only one
The only one that knows me
And in the dark you show me
Yeah it's perfectly reckless
Damn you leave me defenseless
So break in
Break in
Put your lighter in the air and lead me back home
Annabelle waved her band mates forward and they gave one last wave and a collective bow as they littered the crowed with picks and a drumstick or two before finally exiting the stage.
"Well, how did we do" Annabelle said with a raised eyebrow as she plopped down on the sofa in their dressing room then taking a big swig of her water.
"Eh, I have seen better" Jason stated with a flat tone as he shrugged his shoulders.
"Hmmm. Well, I am not sure that you have any musical taste whatsoever, so I don't even know why I asked you" Annabelle replied as she rolled her eyes and threw her bottle cap at the bearer of that remark.
"I don't think that you really care what I think" Jason responded, getting right in Annabelle's face, dragging out the 'I' in that statement.
Annabelle just smirked and stood up, looking Jason square in the eye, silently challenging him to proceed to verbalize his last thought.
"Mmmmhm, that's what I thought" Annabelle quipped with a slight chuckle as she finished her last sip and tossed the bottle in the appropriate bin. She gave Jason a knowing smile and then wrapped her arms around his neck for an appreciative hug, even though their banter was playfully heated a few seconds earlier.
She moved to the other side of the room and flipped open her laptop. She was happy to see the window already open to what she quickly realized was a room with sunlight flowing in, leaving subtle shadows along the wall as she heard the faint voice, singing as she was putting the last of her clothes away in the suitcase for her departure from a city no where near where Annabelle was located. She closed her eyes for a second, just listening to that golden voice, that carried her further than any car, train or airplane could a million times around the world. She waited patiently for her blonde -haired blue -eyed beauty to finally appear in the screen. She got her wish, and just sat there with a smile and that mischievous glint in her eye.
"Hi" Annabelle stated, with a little more husk in her voice than normal as her vocal chords hadn't begun to recover from the night's events.
Simone jumped a bit at the sound. She stopped in her tracks, and didn't respond for a second, just happy to look into those eyes, that told her so much more than any words could ever say.
"Hi" Simone responded just above a whisper, finishing the greeting with a smile.
"You are definitely a sight for sore eyes" Annabelle scraped out, leaning forward, somehow thinking that it would help her be closer to Simone.
"Why thank you. Do you know how beautifully glowing you are after one of your shows" Simone breathed out, just glad to be able to take in the sight in front of her, not just getting to hear her voice.
"Well, I am sure by now, you can see that my face is red and glowing" Annabelle grated out not realizing the rather large smile that was now occupying her face.
"I have a confession to make" Simone said quietly, looking down for a brief second, sending Annabelle's thoughts into a tailspin.
"What, what is it" Annabelle replied, struggling a bit over her words.
"I, saw it, I heard it, the whole show" Simone answered looking back up with a glint in her eye.
"You what? How, just now" Annabelle said raising her voice as much as she could in its given state.
"Well, I had a little help from my more technologically advanced brother, but he streamed it to me. He mentioned that one of the sound guys owed him a favor.
"Oh, um, what did you think" Annabelle replied a little nervously as the butterflies flew around in her stomach after hearing Simone's words a few seconds before.
"Annabelle, you know I think you are amazing and talented. You give the audience their money's worth everytime, even those of us that didn't pay to see you" Simone chuckled a bit at her comment
"Simone, what.. did.. you.. think" Annabelle responded, leaning in a little closer, her eyes pleading for something more.
"I loved it. You never cease to amaze me with your words. I can feel your heart weaving through the songs. That last song, Annabelle, that was... Simone's voice trailed off for a second, her thoughts trapped in her throat, as a tear was beginning to form, not ready to fall yet.
"Simone, it was what" Annabelle whispered, having to suddenly pull her hand back realizing that she was not physically able to console Simone at the moment.
"It was the most beautiful song I have ever heard. All of your songs are beautiful, but this one, spoke to me more clearly than any other. I wish I could have been there in person, telling you this while holding your hand, looking into your eyes, just... Simone let her voice be smothered by a slight sob, not really feeling sad, just overwhelmed at the moment, her emotions coming to the surface unexpectedly.
"Simone, thank you, just thank you" Annabelle replied, this time, allowing herself to reach out and put her hand on the screen, willing somehow, that Simone felt her touch at that moment, grateful that their exchanges weren't strained and surface anymore. She was becoming overwhelmed herself from the sight in front of her, appreciating Simone's willingness to be so open about her feelings, when she had been more apt to hold down her emotions thinking that after all that had happened, she could ever be open with Annabelle again.
"When will you be back home" Simone asked as she sniffed away the last few bits of emotion she had been trying to control.
"I have one more show on Friday near Oceanside. I plan on getting in no later than Saturday night" Annabelle replied with a smile forming on her lips at the thought of Simone being there when she returned.
"Hmmm, well maybe if you are lucky, I might be in the same area by then" Simone said replacing her tears with a smirk enjoying the relaxed flow of the conversation.
"If I'm lucky? Okay well we will... Annabelle was cut off by Simone's giggle and then was soon hearing the words that she never thought she would hear again from her.
"I love you" Simone stated simply, as she looked straight into the computer, her gaze boring into Annabelle's.
Annabelle felt the adrenaline flow through her body, her heart sped up, her breathing became a little more shallow, a thin sheen of perspiration began to form over her hands. She swallowed thickly, just trying to compose her self a bit, not wanting Simone to see anything but the love radiating back to her through her own eyes.
"I love you too" Annabelle replied hoarsely, her gravelly voice hanging on by a thread at the now late hour on her side of the world.
Peace!
Break in is by Halestorm