School is getting really busy with finals and stuff coming up, so I apologize for the long waits. But rest assured, winter break is a week away, so I'll have more time then. Anyways, Chapter 6
I could not pay attention to a word sensei was saying.
What if he got off that train anyway? Would he have just been struck down by a bus? Was it written and decided by fate that he would die yesterday? Did fate decide to take away my sanity, my serenity, my love, my goal, my life? Was this supposed to happen all along? What did that medic mean that something important lay ahead of me in my life? What else but bad could possibly happen to me anymore?
"Yoshioka-san," sensei called,"perhaps you would like to explain why a train running at 80mph can take an eternity to stop."
A train.
This reminded me dreadfully about the accident. Now was not the time to tear up! Every eye was fixed to me. But I didn't know the answer! I had to guess.
"Because of its momentum and mass?" My voice was weak, and shaky.
"Correct," he acknowledged"Maybe you wouldn't be so uncertain if you payed attention more, instead of staring at an empty desk!"
"Yes, sensei."
"Good. Now class, recently there was a fatal accident on the local train line, and many were killed. It is due to the trains' extreme speed and mass that they were not able to stop on a dime. Remember, an object in motion will stay in motion, unless acted upon by an outside force. In this case, that outside force was another train."
How could he be so heartless? Talking about the wreck and failing to acknowledge the passing of one of his pupils? What kind of glacier surrounded his soul? The class didn't say anything either, it's as if he never existed. What kind of world am I in? This is not how this was supposed to happen! Tears formed and clouded my vision. I'm glad I sat at the far back of the room!
Kou's desk. It was dreadfully empty. No longer would he be sitting there, pretending to ignore me. No longer, would we walk out of class alone. There was only five minutes left in the session. I choked back my tears and whimpers. It was the longest five minutes in the world, an eternity.
The bell was finally rang, and everyone rose to bow. I bowed with everyone else. Tears landed near my feet, no one noticed. As everyone exited the room I was approached by a classmate. He said,"Hey, have you seen Mabuchi-San today? Not to trouble you, but he owes me a couple hundred yen." I pulled out a bill for 1000 yen and placed it in his hand. "Consider it payed." He tried to give it back to me saying,"No, I want to get it from him, he should be asking his girlfriends to pay for him."
Why was it always me that got into these situations? Does anyone care enough to know he died?!
"I need to see him in perso-"
"YOU WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN!"
Everyone paused, looking at me now. Nothing mattered anymore.
"Huh," he responded.
"HE IS DEAD! HE IS DEAD! HE DIED IN THAT TRAIN WRECK YESTERDAY, AND NONE OF YOU SEEM TO CARE! HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND HE IS GONE! BAKA!"
I ran out the door and down the school halls, everyone staring at me. Tears were tearing from my eyes. I didn't want to be alive. Out into the courtyard and to desolate area of the school I ran. Ducking behind a wall, I waited and listened. The comotion in the school slowly picked up pace, before eventually returning to normal. I fell to the floor and cried, later leaning up against the brick wall.
I don't know what to do. I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to be be breathing. I wanted Kou. I wanted to be with him, and I would do anything to be with him. Anything.
"Yoshioka-san?" A hand was placed on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"
"EVERYTHING," I responded, not even bothering to check who it was,"EVERYTHING IS WRONG!"
"But you are here aren't you?"
Who was this? He was so calm.
Blonde hair, and a smiling face.
"Kikuchi-kun?"
"Hi, Yoshioka-san."
"H-h-Hi," I sniffled, wiping tear drops from my eyes and sitting up,"Why are you here?"
"You looked like you could use some help in your time of need. I've been there before. I know now why you were so sad last night."
"You do? You weren't in the same building as me today..."
"No, I don't know what happened there, but last night I was going to a corner store I visit often and saw the train wreck. I know what happened with Mabuchi-san."
I let out a shallow cry.
"It was hard for me to accept, and I just went home afterwards. Although I hardly knew him, I don't like seeing death."
I grabbed his tie, pulled him close, through my arms around him, and heavily cried into his shoulder. I just needed someone right now.
"Yoshioka-san, the bell rang!"
I didn't let him go. He could be as late as I was gonna be for coming to me at this point. I didn't want to go back. School was terrible without Kou around.