Chapter 15:

Flynn's reaction to her date with Martin echoed in Sharon's head all the way to the bar, where they were set to meet. When she walked from her car to the entrance, she thought for a moment to turn around and go home, but at that precise moment she saw Martin smiling at her, standing a few feet from the door. She forced a smile and approached him. He greeted her with a kiss on the cheek, stalling for a moment before pulling back. They entered the dim light of the bar and sat at a table in the corner. Martin stared at Sharon, smiling, and she suddenly found the idea of hiding under the table very alluring.

"John," she started, trying to break the immensely awkward silence, "can I ask you a question and get an honest answer?"

"Sure," he said, just as the waitress came to take their orders. Sharon chose white wine and Martin ordered a beer. She waited a moment after the waitress left, before asking her question.

"Why did you really ask me out?" she squinted, examining his face for a reaction. Martin just smiled.

"Is it so hard for you to believe that you're wanted?" he asked in a soft voice. Sharon looked him in the eyes without responding. He leaned forward and grabbed her hand, returning her a deep gaze.

Sharon felt uncomfortable, but didn't move her hand. "Why didn't you ever tell me anything about it?" she asked.

Martin chuckled. "While you were in FID?" he replied with a question, but Sharon knew what he was talking about. She probably would have fired him if he'd made a move on her when she was still his boss in FID.

About an hour later, Sharon and Martin were standing next to her car. Sharon refused at first, but he insisted on walking her to it, and she was too tired to argue.

"I had a great time," Martin said in a low voice. Sharon smiled at him and nodded, but didn't say a word. She half turned to open the car door but Martin grabbed her shoulders, turning her body back towards him, and tilted his head down to kiss her. Before Sharon could even think if she wanted it or not, Martin brought his lips to hers and put his arms around her waist. Sharon frowned as she parted her lips, allowing his tongue to reach hers. She put her hands on his waist hesitantly, trying to feel the kiss. She didn't feel the excitement, no weakness in the knees. She pulled back and looked at him awkwardly. Martin was smiling. He obviously felt something completely different in this kiss.

"Goodnight," she said, almost whispering. Martin kissed the back of her hand and watched her getting into her car.

(***)

Sharon entered her apartment and found Cat watching TV in the living room. She turned it off right away and ordered her mother to sit with her.

"Where's Rusty?" Sharon asked as she sat down wearily next to her.

"Asleep. He was tired," Cat shrugged. "Now, who's the guy?"

Sharon arched her eyebrows in surprise. She told Rusty and Cat that she was going to meet with a friend. "What guy?" she tried to sound credible.

"Come on, Mom. I know women. The makeup, the clothes… it was a man," Cat smiled. Sharon sighed. She knew there was no way out of it.

"Someone I used to work with," she said quietly so that Rusty wouldn't hear, in case he wasn't asleep.

"And…?"

Sharon shook her head. "Nothing."

"Oh…" Cat sounded disappointed. She always tried to push her mother to go on dates when she was a teenager, and now was no different. Sharon wanted to tell her about Flynn, but she wasn't sure there was still something between them. Besides, she thought it would be best if no one knew about it. Cat yawned, and Sharon got to her feet so she can go to sleep. She kissed her daughter's forehead and said goodnight before walking to her room.

Sharon looked at her bed as she changed her clothes. She thought about Flynn, and wondered what he was doing at that moment. If only he had used the word "stay"… she could have been with him right now, doing who knows what… she felt angry with herself for thinking about him this much. Even at work, sometimes she found herself staring at him, or just daydreaming, thinking about their moments together. She was terrified of what was happening to her. Especially because their relationship was impossible for the long term. She got into this undefined thing with the decision not to get emotionally attached with him, but somehow it was happening without her having any control of that.

She got into her bed, feeling the urge to text him something, but she stopped herself. As she lied in the darkness, trying to silence her thoughts, she knew she won't be hearing from him until they meet on Monday morning.

(***)

Monday was awkward for Sharon. Her gaze wandered to Flynn every now and then, and every time he caught her eyes she felt her cheeks heating up. They didn't smile at each other or exchanged words that weren't work related, and even those words were said in a colder tone than the usual businesslike one.

In the late afternoon, Sharon texted Cat, asking her to take Rusty out for dinner since they were about to close a case and she knew they'd have to stay after hours. Cat replied right away with the words 'no problem' and Sharon felt relieved. It was nice having someone around to help her a little, and it was even nicer that this someone was her daughter.

Three hours later, Sharon was sitting in her office alone. The murder room was completely empty, and she felt like she needed a moment alone before she went back home. She loved having Rusty in her house and now her daughter too, but sometimes she just needed a moment to herself. She leaned back on her chair, thoughts swirling in her mind rapidly.

Someone entered the murder room and she turned quickly to see Flynn walking toward her office. She frowned, wondering what he was doing there. He was the second one to leave work today and she was sure he was long gone. Her eyes followed him on his way to her office door. He stood outside for a moment before he opened it, looking at her through the glass.