Lincoln Appreciation Week – Day 3: Favorite Scene
A/N: Ugh, I had to rewatch the "break up" scene to write this. My poor bby, Lincoln, was going to cry. I don't know why, but I feel so protective over him.
Anxiety rolls through him as he paces around the cave. It's past first light, and she's nowhere in sight. He wrings his hands in attempt to distract himself from the fear rising in his belly.
They would have figured something out. He's sure of it. The Sky People might not be his favorites, but they sure are resourceful.
Moments later, he hears the explosion. For a brief moment, his heart clenches, fearing that Octavia was caught in the blast. He runs over to the site, but her body is nowhere to be found. He is thankful for that, and it calms him somewhat. But he sees the broken and burned bodies of his people, and he is torn. He wants to help, but he's a traitor now, and they wouldn't think twice about killing him.
He decides to go back to the cave and pack the rest of his stuff. Hopefully, she'll be there soon.
When she does enter, he knows his anger shows. He tries to emphasize the danger of the Mountain Men, but he can tell something else is on her mind. He pretends not to notice it, but then she tells him that she's staying.
Dread, anger, devastation all hit him at once. He hopes for a second that she's joking, but the look on her face softens his expression immediately.
She's not looking him in the eye as he takes a few steps towards her. Her hand goes into her bag and retrieves the sketchbook he gave. She holds it out for him to take back.
No. No. No. This wasn't supposed to happen. She'll die if she stays. He tells her as much. Her response is a brave "Maybe." "Maybe" isn't something he has faith in. He has faith in her, but his people are much stronger and in greater numbers. She will without a fact die if she stays.
He can tell that she doesn't want this. He sees the tears forming in her eyes as he moves even closer. He has to know…
"Why?"
"Like you said. They're my people."
And just like that, he nearly breaks. Maybe he's not in this future of hers, or maybe she knows that she's going to die.
Had he been stupid enough to think that she would ever voluntarily part from her brother? Of course, he had. Around her, he believed anything.
He's staring at her, willing to change her mind. When she steps closer, he has hope.
But then she says, "I'm sorry," as tears roll down her cheeks. Her guilt and pain doesn't take away from his. It only heightens it. Neither of them wants it, but it's the right thing for her to do.
He can tell she wants to kiss him once last time, but once her lips move near his, he slightly tilts his jaw away. He can't. He doesn't want to remember her like this. He doesn't want it to be goodbye.
He knows his rejection hurts her even more, but he can't do anything about it. He's in pain too, and this isn't his choice. He would have left it all to be with her, but she can't do the same.
As her lips press against his cheek, his eyes flutter close. He'll allow himself this. This goodbye of hers. He wants to hold on to her and never let her go, but this is her choice. He will respect that.
He doesn't respond when she says goodbye, and she doesn't wait for him to say it back.
Long after she's gone, he realizes that he can't let it end like this. Octavia deserves to live, and so do her people. He's not going to let them die, even if it means risking his own life in the process.
Octavia had been new to all this. While he wasn't her first kiss, he was her first lover and her first love. She didn't know that this was new to him too. He had been with women and men, but no one ever made him feel like taking on the world. Like he could finally break free from his village to live his own life.
He found that in Octavia, and he wasn't going to let it or her go. She was going to survive this. He would make sure of it.