Chapter 55

Find a Reason

"Yes Daddy, I've already said I'd visit you on my birthday." Chloe said into her mobile, pacing around the room. "I've been really busy lately." Listening to the reply, Chloe sighed. "No, Daddy, I'm not out partying. I'm not taking drugs and I'm not smoking, calm down. I'm just working with Jeremy at the moment." Chloe listened for a moment before her eyebrows creased in anger. "Daddy, I do love him. We've fixed all our problems and we are happier than ever." Chloe suddenly blushed. "No, Daddy, and I don't think that's something I want to talk to you about. Well, goodbye, I need to go." Flipping her phone shut, Chloe sighed and looked to the roof, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

She had been trying her best to fix up her relationships. Her father was easily the hardest to persuade that she didn't want to be littered with presents anymore. Chloe had managed to bargain it down only to her birthday, which was in only a few days. Even her mother had phoned, and god knows how long it had been since Chloe had heard her voice. Apparently she was coming back from England to visit her on her birthday.

It wasn't even a special occasion or age. Nineteen wasn't nearly as important as sixteen or eighteen, and Chloe's mother hadn't visited on those occasions. What made this any different?

Not to mention the fact that she would have to tell them about the baby.

Chloe's hand drifted down to her stomach. She wasn't even going to start showing for a couple of months, but she couldn't just thrust the information on her parents. She needed to ease them into it, make them understand that it was fine. They even doubted that she loved Jeremy but… but that was understandable.

Moving over the well-furnished room (Courtesy of Fisk), Chloe went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror. The feeling of looking at a stranger didn't disappear. Dark rings under her eyes were showing, making her look more gaunt than she actually was. All the death she had seen… the near death of Jeremy, it was taking its toll on her. Even her cheeks seemed thinner than they usually were, making her look even worse for wear.

She wasn't going to try and hide it though. No more make-up, no more hiding, she wasn't being 'Chloe the slut', she was being the new Chloe. The Chloe that understood and loved Jeremy. The Chloe that wanted this baby. The Chloe that wanted to survive.

"Give it a year." Chloe muttered to herself. "A year…?" Chloe looked down from the mirror to her still-slim stomach. In a year, she would have a new-born baby. How could she fight Death, how could she do that to herself, to Jeremy and to the baby? Even after a year, she would be one of the 'Chosen'. Would she have time to raise a baby? Would she be able to?

Chloe let out a small growl of frustration and strode out of the bathroom. She hated it; she completely and utterly hated the situation. It was a lose-lose situation. She would either die or be 'Chosen'. It wasn't the scenario a mother-to-be wanted to be in.

"Why do I have to be chosen?" Chloe asked to the empty room. "What makes me valuable? What do I have that others don't? Why me?"

XXX

Jay paced back and forth, eyes not looking at anything in particular, one hand running rapidly through his hair. He was on the grounds outside of Fisk's building, mind running wild. It was confusing, it was irritating and it was infuriating. What the hell did Alex think he was? He didn't want that! He didn't… Jay stopped and stomped on the ground, looking up into the sky. Who said he didn't want that? He himself sure as hell didn't stop it. Who was at fault other than himself? Alex didn't have anything to do with it. Alex just made an offer and Jay accepted.

Allowing a hiss of frustration to leave his lips, Jay spun on his toes and jumped back in surprise when he came face to face with Joshua.

Recovering slightly from the surprise, Jay narrowed his eyes at Joshua. "What do you want? I want to be alone."

"No you don't." Joshua said cheerfully which seemed to drive the anger harder in Jay.

"Yes I do. So just… just go away."

"Nope."

Jay couldn't believe it. "Why the hell not? You are practically a stranger, I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to talk to anyone! So just go away!"

"I think I'll stay right here." Joshua crossed his arms with a smirk.

"Fine!" Jay shook his head in frustration and turned on his heel, walking away from Joshua. Who did he think he was? What did Joshua know about anything? "Stupid man…" Jay growled.

"Who?"

Jay stopped and stared incredulously at Joshua, who stopped alongside him. "What are you doing here?"

"Walking."

"You're following me."

"Following you? No, of course not." Joshua rolled his eyes. "'Course I'm following you, you idiot."

"Why!?" Jay asked in frustration. "What happened between me and Alex has nothing to do with anyone!"

"You and Alex? I don't give a damn about that… but now you mention it…" Joshua's grin lit up. "What did happen between you and Alex?"

"Shut up!" Jay snarled, walking again. Joshua continued to walk beside him, hands in his pockets. "I just told you I don't want to talk about it and-"

"And I just told you that I don't give a damn. I was joking about the last bit. It's what I do."

"Why don't you do something else your good at, like abandoning us again!"

"You… what?" Joshua blinked in surprise, actually taken aback. "When did I abandon you?"

"When do you think!?" Jay asked, motioning with his arms, his anger and frustration fuelling his words. "That hotel burned down to the ground, Riley and Becca died in there! Where were you, huh?"

"Saving Lukas." Joshua looked confused. "That's where I was."

"How is he more important than two people!?" Jay asked, stopping and getting in Joshua's face. "How is Lukas, the man who hates you with a passion, more important than Becca and Riley? Huh? How?"

"He isn't." Joshua replied. "But Becca and Riley weren't more important than Lukas either. I landed on the roof in a helicopter, Jay. I came down the stairs and I saw Lukas. Everything was covered in smoke and on fire. If I didn't do anything then and there, Lukas would be dead."

"So?"

"So…?" Joshua jammed a finger in Jay's chest, getting irritated. "You wanted Lukas to die?"

Jay took a step back and shook his head. "No, of course not but-"

"So what are you complaining about!?" Joshua barked. "I saved a life! Sure, Riley and Becca died, sure, we all suffer the consequences but what in the name of hell was I meant to do? They were blocked in! I couldn't do shit! I saved a man and I am damn happy about it. Riley and Becca died, and I am damn pissed about it. But I didn't choose Lukas over those two. I chose the person I could save, otherwise four people would have died in that hotel, not two."

"But you can heal!" Jay protested. "You could have saved everyone! You're practically a God."

"I'M NOT A GOD!" Joshua roared with surprising anger. He took a deep breath before shaking his head. "I am not any kind of God, Jay. I can heal, yes, that's weird, yes, but I can't heal from all injuries. Throw me in a vat of acid, I'll die. Throw me in lava, I'll die." Joshua tapped his head. "If my brain is destroyed, that's it, I'm done and gone." He shook his head once again. "It was bad enough trying to save Lukas. Any longer and I wouldn't be here. But that's not what you're really angry about, is it? The fire has nothing to do with your anger, does it?"

Jay didn't reply, just looked to the side.

Joshua looked to the sky. "Fine, you want me to go, I'll go. But know this Jay, you are not alone. In this situation, the key thing everybody needs is a friend. Is comfort. Chloe fought for Jeremy's life, and vice versa. They didn't give up."

"I'm not saying I'm giving up."

"Well, that's what it looks like from here." Joshua replied. "It looks like you are confused, it looks like all your anger is being channelled to me because you have no-where else to channel it. Everybody needs friends, Jay. I know you are hurting, I know that Josie's death hurts you deep in here." Joshua tapped his heart. "But nothing is lost. Becca lost Dylan, but because Riley was there, she didn't just sit down and die. Dorothy died, but David hasn't given up. My father died, but did I give up? No. Jay, be angry, scream at me, yell at me, use me as an outlet for your anger, but don't you dare decide that there isn't anyone out there for you. If Alex is a problem, talk to the others. Talk to Chloe, or Jeremy, or hell, talk to one of Fisk's men. Find a friend, okay? Find a reason to live. I've seen this before, Jay. I've seen people broken inside, I've seen them commit atrocious acts in their misery. There were no happy endings for those people, and your story is looking like it's going to conclude like theirs. Don't let that happen Jay. Forgive Alex, and if that does not work, find something to live for. You want to be alone, well, that's fine. Just climb out of this hole you've dug."

With that, Joshua turned and left Jay alone with his thoughts.

A/N:- Thanks to Bookreader2010 and Gabe's-Girl-Forever for your reviews!

Christ, this point in the story is hard. I don't want to kill ANYBODY, argh! I got Jeremy and Chloe in a wonderful relationship, I got this side-story with Alex and Jay, I've got Lukas and Nick… I got David talking it out with his ex-wife, not to mention the other characters like Joshua, Miles, Lisa, Fisk and Jason. But I gotta kill people, otherwise it isn't an FD story… huh.

Well, rant aside, people will die this arc. People meaning more than one. I've got twists and turns throughout this road of revelation, and it ain't gonna slow down.

'Till next time!