Chapter 18. Icarus.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Francis asked carefully.

"We can't sit around waiting for so long," Arthur muttered, adjusting the rather large gun resting on his back. Thankfully, they had been able to get more guns in this new town, for which everyone was thankful. Still, Arthur was hesitant in giving Alfred any new weapons. Yes, he believed the man when he said that he was on their side now, but…

"You're spacing out again," Francis snickered. "Are you thinking of Alfred?"

"Sod off," Arthur rolled his eyes, walking towards the main door of their little house. Night had fallen a few hours ago and so it was the perfect time for them to make their move. Arthur had thought through this carefully. He even saw how Alfred would work with the most…outlandish people on their team. Granted, there was zero possibility in him working well with Lovino, no matter the circumstances, but Arthur would just have to keep them separated. Everyone had assembled in front of the door, simply waiting on Arthur and Francis to retrieve their own weapons. "Everyone ready, then?"

"Just waiting on your slow ass," Lovino grumbled, glaring at the door, as if willing it to open. He felt like he was far too close to Alfred and it was showing.

"What is this plan you've been keeping so secret?" Antonio asked curiously.

"Something extremely similar to what happened with Alfred," Arthur sighed and Alfred blinked, looking at him in surprise. "We've had some spies looking into other revolutionary groups and we discovered one with…far less than ideal goals in mind. They plan on attacking somewhat near the capital in just a few hours. That close to the king, I'm sure everyone on that team will be there. We can't sit around forever and expect things to change. This team needs to be out of the way in order for our goals to be accomplished."

"And if they don't come along with us?" Gilbert asked darkly.

"We have two options," Arthur sighed, walking past everyone and towards the door. "We either make them join us…or we kill them."

"Fine with me," Lovino muttered, walking out of the door first.

"Meet up on the town directly to the East of the capital," Arthur ordered as more people filed out. Alfred was the last and Arthur stopped him, a hand placed on his arm, though he knew the man couldn't feel him. "You're still not allowed to kill anyone, are we clear?"

"Yes," Alfred nodded. "But…why?"

"I've seen the way you kill," Arthur said, closing the door and walking into the cool night. Alfred followed him carefully. He most likely knew exactly where he was going, but at the very least, he wanted answers from Arthur. That was enough to keep him close. Arthur didn't want the man too far from him on a mission like this. "It doesn't matter to you. How long have you been killing people?"

"Since I was twelve," Alfred answered easily.

"Even then, did it cause a reaction out of you?" Arthur asked.

"The king ordered it, that was all that mattered," Alfred said. "Why do you care so much?"

"You look at a target like it's nothing else," Arthur said. He had recalled many times looking through Antonio's scope after they had found this mysterious group killing off so many of their friends, partners. Watching Alfred kill was…mesmerizing. "There is no pity, there is no rage, there's just…following orders. You hardly look at them, only long enough to recognize their face. They mean nothing. That is not what killing should be."

"Why not?" Alfred asked. And he was serious. He wasn't joking, he was just merely curious. He had been taught to kill that way all of his life, surely. He didn't know anything else.

"You are taking away someone's life," Arthur said. He thought of Feliciano and shook his head lightly. He couldn't find himself emotionally compromised on a mission like this. "You are ripping them from all reality, everything they knew, everything that knew them. Any person that they knew will feel that kind of bond shatter. The person responsible should feel something. An assassin can't afford to be indifferent. If they are, they risk not becoming a person. When you kill someone like that, you're not severing anything. They never had a connection to anything in the first place."

"Do you think I'm like that?" Alfred asked.

"No," Arthur shook his head. "I can tell that you're not, if nothing else by the way you reacted with you joined this group. The reason I don't want you killing is because I don't want you to become an empty shell. That's far too dangerous."

"You haven't known me for very long," Alfred said. "Why do you feel this way?"

"Because you are a person, no matter what happened to you," Arthur said. "No matter how much of you is made of machines and no matter what your past is, you are a person." Arthur only wished someone had shown him the same amount of kindness. He wished, for the first nineteen years of his life, that someone had called him a person.

Alfred must have sensed how Arthur tensed through his thought process. The next thing Arthur knew, he was looking directly into those deep blue eyes. "You're a person, too."

"I wish it were that easy," Arthur muttered, pushing past him and walking faster.

Alfred sighed behind him and moved at a different pace, going an entirely different direction. He still only had that single pistol with only six shots. Arthur wondered what he was going to do with them. Arthur had his own pistol, tucked away securely in his pants, and he had a few knives for the purpose of throwing, not close combat. He knew that, should he engage in close combat with any member in Alfred's former group, he was sure to lose. The large gun was if he could get into a position like that.

Arthur, sadly, had no great skill in any weapon. A jack of all trades, master of none, as it was said. What he was good at, apparently, was acting as a leader. Arthur was never one to argue, especially to orders from the higher ups, but he did question it. Someone like him? A leader? Only a select few in this team knew his past, but Arthur was sure that, if everyone knew, their respect would leave as quickly as they would. Who would want someone like him as a leader?

Alfred took a deep breath as he ducked behind a building, quite a few bullets soaring past him. They had caught his old team just as they finished their job, killing the people that, evidently, Arthur wanted dead as well. Alfred still didn't have a headset to listen to the plans of this new team, but he could tell by the way they were moving that they certainly had one. Alfred was still just a distraction. He didn't mind that job, especially in this case.

Their goal was to take another member of his team, try to change their mind. He wasn't sure how well that would work on any of them, especially after everything that had happened. But he took a deep breath and continued onward. He still had all six of his bullets, as he'd been wise and decided to simply run, using Antonio's bullets as his cover. He was sure that all four members of his old team had seen him by now. He assumed his job would be to keep attention away, just like what happened when he was taken that first time.

That seemed like ages ago…but, in reality, only a short time had passed…it was strange.

Alfred shook his head and continued to move, going past a gap and feeling the bullets move barely past him. That was when he noticed it. They weren't shooting to kill him. They were aiming for his arms and legs, something that wouldn't cause him pain, but would leave him unable to move. The king wanted him alive…

Why?

Alfred held his gun securely in his hand. He wasn't given permission to kill anyone and…had that been an order from the king, he would have followed it very closely. However…this was just Arthur, and he hadn't even given a good reason. Alfred knew exactly what he was doing when he killed someone, he wasn't removed, he remembered every single face that had fallen by his hand.

Alfred ducked out behind that building, turning a corner and pointing his gun at the person that he knew would be there. He didn't know which member of his team was there, but he wasn't surprised to find Matthew, with his own gun pointed right at him. It appeared Ivan hadn't given him the same orders as the rest. Neither moved from their positions, staying firmly planted on the ground. Alfred was perfectly aware of his surroundings. Roderich and Kiku were being kept busy by Antonio, Francis, and Gilbert. Elizabeta was nowhere to be seen. So they had taken her. Matthew was the only one that stood in front of him.

Neither of them moved an inch, as if daring the other to fire a shot. From this distance, the shot would surely kill the other. And…as Alfred stared into the dark eyes of his brother, who was clenching his jaw extremely tightly…he discovered that not only would he not fire…he couldn't. He could not bring himself to pull the trigger on his brother. He looked so disheveled, so exhausted. So angry. And it was entirely Alfred's fault.

"Alfred!" Arthur shouted beside him and Alfred flinched in surprise, but didn't move otherwise. He glanced at Arthur swiftly, not allowing Matthew to leave his line of sight for long. Arthur was leaving. The others were leaving as well.

Alfred lowered his gun and began to run and he nearly stopped when he heard a gun fire, slamming just behind him and into a wall, right where he had just been standing. Alfred glanced back in surprise, but started running nonetheless. Obviously, Matthew didn't share Alfred's feelings.

Alfred followed Arthur as they ran from the scene as quickly as possible, into an old, decrepit building that had long since been abandoned. Upon entering, he could already hear people talking, but it didn't sound very good. Alfred followed Arthur up the stairs that creaked and threatened to fall. It was a rather large building, most likely used for offices for a company that had gone under. The voices were on the very top floor.

"Please, just calm down and allow us to explain," Francis tried, he was the first voice that came through clearly as they swiftly ascended the stairs.

"Shove it up your ass," Elizabeta growled.

"If you want to fight, bitch, I'd be fucking happy to," Lovino bit back at her. Alfred finally reached the top floor, just behind Arthur. He took in the scene in front of him. Elizabeta had her hands tied with just a simple rope and Lovino was the one attempting to hold her down. Francis was trying to calm her down with Antonio while Ludwig and Gilbert stayed far away. Elizabeta was previously glaring daggers at Gilbert, but once she noticed the people that had entered the room, Alfred was subject to her harsh gaze.

"Please," Antonio tried. "Just listen."

"Why should I listen to people like you?" Elizabeta demanded, turning her attention to Antonio and Francis. "All of you are going against the king, I should kill all of you where you stand!" Alfred noticed the striking similarities between them as he looked to the ground. What had happened to him? What made his situation any different? Why had he been weak enough to change his mind?

"Alfred, you can leave if you want," Arthur said, walking forward. Elizabeta fought hard against Lovino, attempting to slam her head into his face, but he reacted fast enough.

"Fucking bitch, would you calm down!" Lovino snapped. "Just two fucking seconds, let us talk to you!"

"Nothing you could say would change my mind," Elizabeta growled. "I'm not weak." Alfred flinched.

"Elizabeta," Arthur said calmly, stooping in front of her. She looked about ready to attack him, going so far as trying to kick him, but Lovino held her far enough away that she couldn't move. He was stronger than he looked. "It's not a weakness to change your mind. Allow us to show you what we see, without the lens the king has given you to look through."

"I've seen it," Elizabeta ground out. "I know exactly what you know. I'm not blind. I haven't been under his cover all of my life." Alfred flinched again. Was that why it was so easy to sway his mind? All he had seen was what the king wanted him to. Elizabeta had come in from the outside…She already knew. "You think showing me the forced smiles of the people near the border is going to make me any happier, going to make me your puppet? I'll remain loyal to the king to my death!"

She struggled all the more and it was obvious Lovino was struggling to hold her back. Ludwig had taken notice and stepped forward as soon as one of Lovino's hands slipped. Elizabeta didn't hesitate. She swung a leg under Lovino and he fell onto his back, hard. Everyone in the room was quick to pull their guns on her, including Gilbert. Alfred simply watched carefully. He shouldn't waste his bullets on something like this; it was obvious he wasn't getting any other weapon anytime soon.

"Don't move," Arthur ordered. "I'm more than willing to spare your life if you cooperate. If you move, I don't guarantee anything." Alfred could tell by the look in the woman's eyes. She intended to move.

"I only take orders from the king," Elizabeta smirked and ran. She ran towards Arthur, knowing full well that would result in her death the quickest. Lovino was the first to react, but four bullets made their way into the girl and she fell uselessly onto the ground.

Alfred blinked. Something was…wrong. His vision was going blurry from…tears forming in his eyes. But that wasn't right. His breathing was coming out unevenly despite his best efforts at calming himself down. What was wrong with him?

"Alfred," Arthur muttered, his voice soft as he pushed Alfred back down the stairs, keeping him steady and on his feet as he did so.

"What the hell are you doing?" Alfred snapped, pushing his hand away, but only once they reached the next floor down. Why was he so slow to react?

"Look at yourself, Alfred," Arthur stated. "Calm down."

"This," Alfred snapped. "This is exactly why. If I cared about every single person that died in front of me, I would be useless, a stupid person there to take orders that couldn't do it because I'm afraid!" Alfred had no idea what had come over him, maybe it was what Arthur had said earlier. But…seeing Elizabeta on the ground, unbreathing, with two holes in her head and two in her chest… "I don't care so that I can keep moving! If I sit around, feeling like this every time someone died in front of me, what good would I be?"

"Those feelings you have are what it means to be human, Alfred," Arthur said simply. "You are dangerously close to being something else."

"What if I don't want to be human?" Alfred snapped. If having those crippling feelings meant he was human, he didn't want any part of it. Before Alfred could open his mouth again to say something, he felt a searing pain as he heard a sharp SMACK! in the painfully quiet room.

"Don't you dare," Arthur glared darkly at him. "Don't you dare say something like that to me again. Next time you take advantage of something people beg for every day of their lives, I don't guarantee I'll be so kind." Arthur turned sharply on his heel and returned upstairs as Alfred was left alone, his hand carefully covering his stinging cheek. Arthur had hit him hard, not bothering to hold back any of his strength. Had what Alfred said truly affected him so much? What did it mean?

So, hopefully, Arthur's past his becoming a little clearer now. Alfred's really smart, yes, but the only reason he hasn't figured it out is because this is a secret he doesn't even know exists. Big clue right there! Anyway, another person is dead, sadly Elizabeta. And Alfred's not sure how to react to this sort of thing. A lot of personality stuff is happening, which is really, very fun.

Also, in regards to the title of this chapter; Icarus is not only a Greek myth, but also a song by Bastille, which is amazing and you guys should check it out (if you guys haven't noticed, all of the titles for this fic have been song names). But, this means a lot to this chapter, along with I feel the rest of the fic. For those of you that don't know the myth very well, Icarus and his father created wings to fly, made out of feathers and wax. As they fly, Icarus flies too close to the sun, ignoring his father's warnings, and the wax melts, causing him to fall into the sea. That was an extremely quick, dumbed down version of it, if you want to know the rest, Google is a very nice tool. Anyway, you can compare that myth to this fic as you please (and the song, if you want) and how it'll unfold later.

Anyway, please review! It means a lot to me!