Chapter 24. Say Goodbye.
Gilbert yawned heavily as he sat drowsily on the bed, glaring at the person that had woken him up so early. Predictably, Ludwig had already been up for an hour and a half, already gone for his run, and had gotten himself to look all neat and tidy once again. They sat in silence for a bit, Ludwig sitting on the desk chair, looking anywhere but at Gilbert. Gilbert yawned again.
"So, are we just gonna stare at each other, or can I go back to sleep?" Gilbert asked. Sure, he had been surprised when he was dragged out of his bed by his brother and then dragged into Ludwig's room, but he knew what he wanted to do. He thought about what they had talked about on the roof during the mission. He wanted to talk. Gilbert just wished he had wanted to talk when he was actually coherent.
"No," Ludwig finally looked him in the eye. He was lost. He had no idea where to start. It was rough enough that they had been separated for so long after hardly being separated in their past, it strained their relationship a little bit. And it seemed that Gilbert missed a little bit between Ludwig and Feliciano, but Francis and Antonio were able to fill him in well enough on that matter. "What is there to even say?"
"Look," Gilbert sighed. "Being sorry isn't going to get anyone anywhere. You gotta deal with the fact he's gone and he isn't coming back."
"This isn't like with mother and father," Ludwig muttered. Gilbert sighed. That had been hard on both of them, sure, but they had been kids. There was a lot of time to distance themselves from it. This was fresh in their heads.
"I'm not telling you to forget him or anything," Gilbert said. "But the longer you sulk, the more it's gonna suck. And the less able you're gonna be when it comes to these missions. You're lagging and holding back, no matter how much you train yourself. It's a mental thing. Feli can stay there, he sure as hell should, you should learn to smile more, just don't let him block anything." Ludwig had always been closed off emotionally. He wasn't going to cry during something like this, he was too strong. But Feli had made him act a little more…human. Feli made him smile, even when Gilbert couldn't, he could make Ludwig laugh slightly, get angry. And when Feli was gone, he did actually make Ludwig cry, just not in front of other people. Ludwig had been closed off since what happened when they were kids, it just shut him down emotionally. But the least Gilbert could do would be to try to open him up once again.
"How?" Ludwig asked simply. This was testing him, sure. He seemed like he was getting close to getting emotional. "I need to remember him, but that just…"
"It's hard," Gilbert shrugged and held back a yawn that threatened to come. "But you're pretty strong, right? There's still people right here that are alive, breathing. Look at us sometimes and I bet Feli'd be happy with that."
"Maybe," Ludwig muttered, looking down at the floor.
"What even went on between you two when I was gone?" Gilbert smirked. There were other ways for him to go about this. "Did you two finally manage to get out all of that sexual tension you had?"
"There was no such thing!" Ludwig snapped, looking up at him. Sure enough, a light blush dusted his face and Gilbert smirked victoriously. "You and your friends come up with the strangest theories, Gilbert."
"Yeah?" Gilbert laughed. "Well, you tell me, was there really nothing between you two?"
"He was a good friend," Ludwig sighed. "That is it."
"So you didn't get around to it," Gilbert said thoughtfully. "Guess that explains a few things."
"Like what?" Ludwig asked sharply.
"Oh, dude, if you couldn't tell he wanted in your pants you were fucking blind," Gilbert smirked and the blush on his brother's face grew significantly worse. "But I don't even think he really noticed it, either. The rest of us sure as hell did…"
"How, exactly, is this supposed to help me?" Ludwig asked carefully, coughing slightly when his blush wouldn't go away.
"He was a person," Gilbert pressed. "Just like the rest of us. People die. You can't get hung up on that. Sure, remember them and all of that shit, but look at the present, too, or you aren't going to see it. And only look on the bright side. You aren't getting anywhere sulking about times in the past."
"You say this as if it's easy," Ludwig said simply.
"Hey, I'm struggling with it, too," Gilbert shrugged. "I miss the shit out of Feli, I've missed him for over a fucking year now. But what the hell are you going to do by missing him? He believed in this group and the revolution to make things better, right? Then let's make sure things really do get better. We've got Arthur and all of the other country leaders helping us through, right?"
"Are you trying to motivate me now?" Ludwig raised an eyebrow.
"I might be," Gilbert smirked. He had a few different tactics to go through. Thankfully, almost everyone else had gotten over Feliciano's death rather well on their own. Ludwig, even though he did experience loss before, was actually having a rough time on his own. Lovino was...alright on his own, he could at least handle himself. Both Francis and Antonio had grown rather used to the people close to him dying around them and Arthur worked insanely hard to not grow close to anyone. Gilbert was able to take his own advice and, sure, he was sad about it, but he also knew how to get over it rather quickly.
Ludwig chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "I have to go patrol," Ludwig eventually said, standing up and putting his jacket on, which would hide his guns.
"Yeah, yeah, go protect the innocent civilians," Gilbert sighed. "Thanks to you, I can't get back to sleep." He stood up and stretched his arms across his stretch as he yawned once again.
"I'm sure you'll get over it," Ludwig smiled as he left the room. Gilbert followed after him, nodding to his brother as he left out the front door. Gilbert glanced at the two still sitting on the couch. He had no idea what happened or how, but it was pretty funny. Arthur, naturally, stayed up for a long time trying to think up plans, but it seemed like he had managed to convince Alfred to stay with him. And, of course, they had fallen asleep and Arthur was actually leaning against Alfred. Gilbert smirked slightly. It was good to see both of them actually getting some sleep for once.
Arthur was…rather comfortable. He couldn't help but feel content and warm where he was. He really didn't want to move at all. He actually felt well-rested as he began to feel himself wake up as well, which was unusual. Normally, when he slept, if he slept, he was plagued by nightmares, but this time, his sleep was actually quite pleasant.
"Well, what do we have here?" Francis' voice immediately made Arthur open his eyes. He noticed immediately the position he was in, leaning up against Alfred on the couch. Alfred was awake just as quickly and Arthur pushed himself off of him and into a normal sitting position. He ignored the blush that spread furiously across his face as Francis laughed at them.
"Twat," Arthur muttered under his breath, swiftly picking up his still-open laptop from working so late into the night. He quickly walked to his room before Francis could give him even more shit about what he did while he was asleep. The second he closed his door, however, he let out a deep breath. The blush wouldn't go away, dammit.
He remembered Alfred deciding to stay up with him overnight and he remembered working, going through all of the information about the nobles and the capital as he could. He had to think of some way around Ivan and the rest of Alfred's old team. It certainly didn't help that one of them was more volatile now that one of their friends had died. He had to think of a plan, they only had a few days, there was no time for him to be distracted by small things like…waking up…cuddling with Alfred.
Arthur shook his head, sitting down at his desk. He had to focus, he couldn't be distracted. He opened his computer to continue searching, but an interesting article showed up. A noble had died the night before, no doubt the person Roderich had killed the night before. There was to be some kind of ceremony for him, at least whatever this country allowed as a ceremony. Curious, Arthur clicked on the article, just to see if there was something interesting to see. The man's name seemed vaguely familiar, though he couldn't remember much of it. Finally, a picture of the man showed up. Arthur stared at it for a moment before he felt the familiar panic wash over him as he slammed the portable computer closed as hard as he possibly could, standing from the chair to get away from the memory as quickly as possible.
He was dead?
He figured he owed at least one thing to that group…
Arthur cleared his throat, straightening himself out, before he calmly stepped out of his room. It was no use opening that computer now that that face would be staring at him. He could at least be slightly efficient by doing something else somewhere else. Everyone was awake at this point and he could clearly hear them in the kitchen. At least, most of them. Lovino was lounging on the couch, staring at the ceiling, apparently trying not to be pissed off at the four in the kitchen, at least Arthur figured Alfred was in the kitchen as he couldn't see him anywhere else. Ludwig was most likely out on patrols, as he usually was in the morning.
Arthur swiftly bypassed Lovino and entered the kitchen. Alfred was at the table, having a conversation with Antonio and Gilbert while Francis happily hummed to himself while he cooked. Arthur sighed and walked towards Francis, who simply glanced at him.
"Don't think I'm going to allow you to try cooking again," Francis said simply.
"He's dead," Arthur muttered, leaning against the nearest wall. Francis paused for a moment, barely reacting in time to move away the eggs he was making from the heat of the stove before they burned. Francis glanced back at him and Arthur took a deep breath in order to make sure his voice came out steady. "The man Roderich killed last night. He was a dealer."
"The first one?" Francis asked simply, glancing at him, though not looking for long.
"Yes," Arthur sighed. "A part of me is almost sad I couldn't kill him myself." And another part knew that his mind would shut down the second he even saw the man in person.
"And how are you doing with this news?" Francis asked him quietly. The three talking easily drowned out their conversation.
"I should be happy," Arthur muttered. "Right?"
"Should you be?" Francis asked him, finally turning to face him. Arthur sighed and looked at the ground. He typically tried not to think much about it, or else he would most likely shut down again, which he couldn't afford to do.
"Yes," Arthur shook his head.
"He was a part of your past, this is a rather big deal," Francis said. "I take it you found out because his funeral was in the news?"
"Yes," Arthur sighed. "His face hasn't changed at all…"
"Do you want to go?" Francis asked simply and Arthur glared at him. "It was only a question. He was a part of your past, I just figured it would be a good idea for you to at least say farewell to that part of you."
"Do you realize how…utterly…stupid that would be?" Arthur let out an exasperated sigh. "I…He sold me. And I go to pay my bloody respects?"
"Don't pay respect," Francis shrugged. "Just get closure."
"I don't…need closure," Arthur scoffed.
"Then why are you talking to me about it instead of closing yourself in your room like you intended to do?" Francis smirked. "You can take Alfred with you if that will help you."
"What are you insinuating?" Arthur scoffed.
"It's your decision," Francis shrugged. "We do have a limited time until we are to attack the capital, correct? You should focus on strategies, correct? Or can you focus?"
"Don't start," Arthur rolled his eyes. "I figured I should have told you, don't think I actually intend to do anything about it."
"Of course," Francis chuckled, returning to the food he was making. Arthur sighed, turning to the three sitting at the table now. Of course he didn't want to go! What possible reason could Arthur have for going to the grave of one of the men that had…bought and sold him? What would he even do? Break down? He didn't have the time to waste on something stupid like that. He had to focus…
"You got lucky," Matthew sighed as Roderich just sat there. He had finally gotten Roderich's punishment from Ivan for killing that noble. All considering, it wasn't much. No doubt due to the fact that Ivan knew that the man Roderich had killed was a slave dealer. Matthew wasn't going to question it anymore, he was sure Ivan had his reasons for everything. Roderich, however, didn't seem as though he intended to go through with his due punishment. "I don't care about what side you are on, but the second you disobey an order from the king-"
"You'll kill me?" Roderich cut him off.
"You joined this team," Matthew said clearly. "You had your reasons and so you should obey the orders of your leader or you can leave and I will make sure I kill you, as a traitor to the king. Do I make myself clear?" Matthew wasn't quite used to being so harsh, but he had to in times like this. It wasn't an option of how he could do it, he had to. He was the leader now, he had to reign everyone in, for the sake of the king. "Kiku will continue our job of watching Yong Soo. You and I are going through with your punishment."
"If that will please His Majesty," Roderich said bitterly.
"Then get ready to leave," Matthew said coldly. "We're heading out in a few minutes."
Roderich simply nodded and Matthew stood from the table, walking into his own room. He was going to bring knives and guns just in case, of course. The king had told Matthew that Roderich was to go to the grave of the man he had killed and pay respects, though Matthew didn't think that the man deserved any respect, if he were to get any. The king had told them to go, and so Matthew was going to go, regardless of how he felt.
Having stored three guns and five knives around his body, he moved to the front door of the house. It was some time in the middle of the day and Kiku was busy with Yong Soo. Matthew and Roderich had been with him, though nothing had happened, like they expected, when they were both called away. Ivan had only wanted to talk to Matthew, Roderich waiting in their house.
Matthew only had to wait a few minutes before Roderich sauntered up to him and, without a word, the two left. Matthew walked beside Roderich in order to keep him within in his line of sight and also in order for Roderich to know where he was going, as he hadn't been told the location of the man's grave. His burial had been performed rather quickly before the day of work started and Matthew couldn't help but be oddly curious about what would happen to the man's slaves. Would they all just be given away or sold? Matthew took a deep breath, shaking the thoughts out of his head. He wouldn't get anywhere being mad at something he didn't understand, like slavery. The king had a reason for everything.
The walk through the capital was quiet. Everyone was working and all of the soldiers recognized the two, allowing them to pass and move about as they pleased. If they were lucky, they could get this whole thing out of the way as quickly as possible and get back to their job of protecting Yong Soo for the time being. Their best guess was that it would be up to a few weeks before the revolutionaries attempted to take the capital (according to Yong Soo) and so they all had to be ready to protect the king at a moment's notice.
The graveyard was a simple place, with only small stones to mark those of the dead. Matthew could tell that there was a little bit more to this punishment than just paying respects. Because of their position, their team of assassins would never land in a place like this. Not even Elizabeta. There were quite a few of these cemeteries around the city, each city, as they were just small plots of land. There were people there since the original revolution that created this country 22 years ago. Matthew stepped forward and through it, finding the stone with the familiar name. Matthew couldn't help but wonder just how many of the people in the graveyard...and the city had dealings with slaves. It would probably be impossible to tell.
Matthew finally found the name and looked at Roderich, who simply knelt to the ground with a small smirk on his face. He wasn't taking this seriously at all, was he? Matthew rolled his eyes and glanced around the city. It was normal for him to see it so empty. Usually, he just saw it empty at night, so this was slightly strange. There was a building nearby that was obviously recently abandoned, most likely due to lack of money. He narrowed his eyes at it and noticed, in the windows of the upper levels, something glinting in the sunlight. He pulled out one of his guns and aimed it carefully at the window, not looking away from it. He stared at it carefully.
This would not be the time to have an ambush, especially with the state of mind Roderich was in now. If Kiku was there, perhaps this would be a better time.
"Roderich," Matthew said carefully and saw something move in the window. Luckily, Roderich got the hint and stood up as well. Matthew was nearly surprised when neither of them was the first to shoot.
And cliffhanger! This chapter was hard for me to write, mostly because I wanted to do character development for Ludwig and I'm very bad with his character and I've made him more emotionally stifled than he usually is, but that leads into his past and stuff. Anyway, I had a few problems with time recently, but I think I ironed everything out by now and everything is in its place, as it should be. So, all in all, stuff happened, and more stuff will happen next chapter, don't worry.
Also, important, I'm officially finished with school (though not IB Exams, single tear) and so that means I'll be able to write more. I don't promise anything, naturally, but I may be able to update more often than usual. So stay tuned!
Anyway, please review! It's great!