Everything © their respective owners
-ALLIEVERWANTED
Hoshi: The Robins GET RIPPED and find mii.
Warning: Het, slash, femslash, crack. The Robins are OOC as all get out, and I might have given up on making everyone else IC. This story doesn't really have a reason until the last chapter. And a TON of Fire Emblem: Awakening spoilers! Beat that game first if you care about spoilers! Hey, Dr. Mario makes a cameo. Damn, there's all these copycats. Also, muscles. Robin and muscles.
Hoshi: Mii Brawler will look like Little Mac. Mii Swordfighter will look like Meta Knight. Mii Gunner will look like Samus.
-WASTOSEEYOUSMILING
Wii Fit Trainer (Lady)
"Let's stretch our legs!" Wii Fit Trainer said while stretching.
"You heard the lady!" Robin spoke into her megaphone while stretching. "LIFT THOSE THIGHS!"
"I can't…" Olimar protested.
"I'm finished!" Pit lay on the ground.
"GET UP, YA WEAKLINGS!" Robin ordered. "I want to see some sweat!"
The other smashers groaned as they resumed their sets. Well, unless they were the Samuses, Little Mac, Captain Falcon, Marth, Ike, Lucina, and Zelda. Speaking of the holder of the Triforce of Wisdom…
"You're pretty tough, Zelda." Robin commended her. "I kind of thought you'd call it quits like Peach and Palutena were going to do."
"Well…" Zelda said in between pants, "I have a lot of…motivation…" She gazed none-too-discreetly at Robin's abs.
"Keep up the good work, then." Robin winked at her before turning her attention to the rest of the smashers. "C'mon, you wimps! I didn't say you could take a break!"
"I think they've earned a little rest, Robin." Wii Fit Trainer suggested. "They were supposed to be doing relaxing yoga poses, anyway. I don't know why we slipped into muscle training, but I'm just happy we have so many people attending class for once!"
"All right, take five, you jokes!" Robin commanded. Most of the smashers collapsed to the floor in relief.
"We can play some volleyball after all this is over." Wii Fit Trainer proposed. "It'll be a nice change from all the matches."
"You're the boss, lady." Robin shrugged her shoulders.
"I look forward to seeing you in a swimsuit." Wii Fit Trainer said.
"Yea-what?" Robin blushed. "Oh, yeah. Beach. Girls in swimsuits. Yaaaay."
'Man, I just can shut this charm down.' Robin smiled at her easy victory.
"ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET BACK TO WORK!" Robin barked through her megaphone.
"Your concept of five minutes is surprisingly skewed." Wii Fit Trainer giggled.
Wii Fit Trainer (Gentleman)
"C'mon, Marc!" Wii Fit Trainer (Gentleman) urged while stretching. "You can't give up now!"
"I'm…going…to die…!" Marc choked out as he tried to push himself up from the ground.
"You can't die if I'm spotting you, though…" Wii Fit Trainer (Bro) said. "Let's stretch our shoulders!"
"Dying…!" Marc protested.
"Well, I guess you can take a small break." Wii Fit Trainer (Man) suggested.
"Thank you!" Marc's arms gave out, and he fell on his face.
"It's just a small break, though." Wii Fit Trainer (Dude) reminded the tactician. "You're doing curl-ups after this."
Marc remained silent.
"Marc?" Wii Fit Trainer (Male) called. "You don't appear to be moving."
Silence.
"Marc?" Wii Fit Trainer (XY chromosomes) repeated. "Oh dear… Marc?!"
More Silence.
"MARC!" Wii Fit Trainer (Testosterone) yelled in a panicked voice. "Stay away from the light!"
.-.-.-.-.
"Will he be all right, Doctor?" Wii Fit Trainer (Guy) asked.
"He has some inhuman recovery abilities…" Dr. Mario marveled at the data. "He'll be just fine, but it's certainly a good thing you brought him here when you did."
"That's a relief…" Wii Fit Trainer (Not a lady) said. "If he didn't have the strength for a workout, I do wonder why he stuck around for as long as he did."
"Maybe he wanted to spend time with you?" Dr. Mario guessed, writing down notes on Marc's unusual condition.
"Oh." Wii Fit Trainer (Totes a dude) uttered without thinking. Then it hit him. "O-oh!" He blushed at the realization.
'All according to plan…' Marc thought as he rested behind the hospital screen.
Mii Brawler
"I thought we already seduced Little Mac." Marc wondered.
"But that Little Mac doesn't look right…" Robin pointed out.
"Either way, should we go for standard procedure and have you fight them?" Marc asked.
"Well, I did want a rematch with Little Mac…" Robin looked up at the ceiling and trailed off. She nodded and locked eyes with the Little Mac doppelganger. "You're not the same, but you'll do! PUT UP YER DUKES!"
The Mii Brawler did a couple of experimental jabs before he nodded. Marc went over and pulled down a mike from the ceiling.
"IN THIS CORNER!" He announced. "We've got a kinda sorta Little Mac!" He gestured to the Mii Brawler. "AND IN THIS CORNER!" He gestured to Robin. "We've got a female vessel for the fellgod dragon, Grima! Give it up for Robin!"
And literally every smasher that fell in love with the Robins swarmed around the impromptu match cheering for who else but the female strategist. Especially when her cloak came off… And then she started blowing kisses.
"ROBIN, ROBIN, ROBIN!" The crowd cheered.
Mii Brawler was getting tired of the hype, so he leapt forward and punched her a bunch of times. After the combo was finished, he knocked her into a wall.
"My, you're a bit tougher than the real Little Mac…" She commended him, using her thumb to wipe the blood off her lip. And somewhere in the audience, the true Little Mac pouted and took offense to that comment.
Mii Brawler smiled at the praise before he parried her punches. Unfortunately, he did not parry her kick. That move sent him out of the ring.
"C'mon, I've wrestled bears tougher than you!" Robin taunted.
"It's true." Marc nodded. "And then she ate them afterwards."
"…hot." Bowser commented.
Mii Brawler jumped back into the ring and set it on fire with a blazing kick. Robin laughed maniacally.
"If visual jokes are all you've got going for you, then I don't even need Grima to take you out." The female tactician scoffed. Mii Brawler charged at her. "Is the straightforward approach all you've got?" Robin was ready to roll with the blow and do a counterstrike, but Mii Brawler went for a feint and knocked her out of the ring.
And into a wall.
And then the wall crumbled on top of her.
"Looks like the winner is Mii Brawler!" Marc reported cheerfully. Normally the audience would cheer, but most of them seemed to boo at the Mii Brawler while others went to help Robin out of the rubble. At least Mii Brawler got a high five from Little Mac.
"Why is fistfighting proving not to be my forte?" Robin asked before she spat out pieces of brick.
"Well, at least you're really quick to learn how to use weapons." Samus comforted her.
"And it might've helped if you didn't trash talk so much." Marc pointed out.
"Look, just 'cause you're nice to Lucina when you win one-on-one doesn't mean I have to be." Robin crossed her arms.
"Yeah…" Marc rolled his eyes. "Anyway, time to reward the victor!" The male tactician leaned down to kiss Mii Brawler on the cheek.
'Marc, you big copycat…' Robin thought as she 'tsk'-ed.
Mii Brawler blushed. Little Mac looked betrayed. And the other smashers glared at the Mii Fighter in jealousy.
Mii Swordfighter
"TRAITOR!" Marc launched himself at the Meta Knight-looking Mii Swordfighter.
Luckily, Mii Swordfighter had counter equipped and got out of that tackle attack unscathed.
"Marc, what did you attack it for?" Robin asked. "I mean, I know we've kind of been doing that a lot, but there's always the chance it could backfire on us."
"But it's an impostor!" Marc flailed in the Mii Fighter's general direction. "I can't stand uncute things trying to be cute!" Robin and Mii Swordfighter rolled their eyes.
"Settle it with a duel and let your swords do the talking then." Robin pulled down a mike from the ceiling. "IN THIS CORNER, we've got a kinda sorta wingless Meta Knight!" She gestured to Mii Swordfighter. "AND IN THIS CORNER!" She gestured to Marc. "We've got a male vessel for the fellgod dragon, Grima! Let's hear it for Marc!"
And once again, literally every bird-lover swarmed around the impromptu match cheering for the male strategist. Except Meta Knight. Meta Knight was too busy glaring at that impostor.
"ROBIN, ROBIN, ROBIN!" the crowd cheered.
"I-I'm not even fighting…" Robin stared at them.
"Technically I'm a 'Robin' too, so it doesn't matter." Marc shrugged. "Now let's throw down, you traitorous impostor!" He pointed the Levin sword at his opponent.
Mii Swordfighter grinned behind its mask.
Marc dove forward in a stab…only to be countered and knocked out of the ring. He popped out of the rubble and jumped back in, this time with an overhead aerial slash…only to be countered and knocked out of the ring…again. Marc huffed and sunk back into the rubble.
"Got you now!" the male tactician said as he tried to attack the Mii fighter from behind…only to be countered and knocked out of the ring…again…
Mii Swordfighter shook its head. Marc shook off the rubble and glowered at his opponent. The male tactician then promptly marched up to it. Mii Swordfighter got into its counterstance…only to be grabbed.
"Stop." Shock. "Spamming." Shock. "COUNTER!" Marc threw his opponent up in the air before hitting it with a fully-charged stab.
"Should've went for the ninja build…" Robin shook her head. "Well, the winner's Marc, everybody!"
The crowd roared while Meta Knight smiled behind his mask. It felt like his honor had just been restored.
Marc extended a hand to Mii Swordfighter as it dug out of the rubble.
"It was a good duel." Marc admitted. Mii Swordfighter nodded. "And I…guess you ARE kind of cute, maybe…" He turned away with a blush.
"B-but I'm cuter!" yelled literally every smasher that Marc ever called cute. Even Meta Knight?! Well, not that it mattered since there was a huge brawl now with Mii Swordfighter in the middle of it.
'Huh, we can literally start riots with a few careless words.' Robin thought to herself. 'Excellent.'
Mii Gunner
"IMPOSTOR!" Robin attempted to tackle Mii Gunner, but Marc had grabbed the back of her hood to stop her.
"Robin, I thought we went over this." Marc shook his head.
"But…but Samus look-a-like has no muscles…" Robin protested.
"Not every girl has to have hulking muscles, Robin." Marc pulled her away as she lunged at the Mii Gunner again.
"They should." Zelda huffed.
"Eh, to each their own." Sheik said as she none-too-discreetly eyed Zelda up and down.
"Aw, you know I like all kinds." Robin winked at Zelda, who promptly fainted into a waiting Sheik's arms. "But look, if a girl should naturally have muscles, then there's no point in her not having said muscles just 'cause other people don't find them attractive."
"Okay, but like all Miis, Miss Mii Gunner is only a caricature of someone." Marc reasoned. "She can only be so accurate, and considering Mii body types only really range from super skinny to super thick, it's kind of hard to emulate muscles."
"Unacceptable!" Robin grabbed Mii Gunner's shoulders. "You want to be ripped, right?"
Mii Gunner shrugged. She honestly didn't care either way.
"I'll get you on the righteous path. Just you wait!" Robin then gestured to Little Mac, Samus, Captain Falcon, and Wii Fit Trainers as they all flexed in various poses. "The world will weep at our glory!"
Marc rolled his eyes, but smiled despite himself. Still, it was hard to believe they were one and the same sometimes.
INSERT TRAINING MONTAGE HERE!
"This is the life…" Robin said in serene bliss as she benched Marc's Grima. The aforementioned fellgod dragon just watched her with wide eyes as she continued her training nonchalantly.
Mii Gunner still didn't really get it as she did her push-ups, but it was kind of nice spending time with the crazy muscles lady. Just as she was about to transition into the next set of exercises, a plasma whip landed in front of her.
"Since me and Sammie might as well be sisters, I figured it wouldn't hurt to add you in…" Zero Suit Samus explained. "But if you're going to be part of the Aran family, you need to learn your gadgets."
"And come gather alien samples with me sometime." Samus added.
"Don't you mean, 'come blow up some planets with me' or something?" Zero Suit Samus snorted.
"I don't do that all the time." Samus immediately protested.
Mii Gunner silently stared at all the new weaponry the Samuses were giving her with awe. She nodded cheerfully.
"Aw yeah…" Robin slung her arm around Zero Suit Samus and Mii Gunner. "My girls!"
"Don't forget us!" the female smashers that fell for the Robins tackled Robin for a hug, making a huge pile of ladies.
'She just can't turn that charm down.' Marc chuckled to himself as the male smashers wondered if they should be jealous or turned on.
-ALLIEVERWANTEDWASTOMAKEYOUMINE
Hoshi: Man, this new roster really does have a lot of counter-users… Also, I heavily regret not using Iwata and Reggie for the Mii fighters section, but I don't think I could've captured their fabulous factor if I tried, so you guys get imitation smashers instead!